by A. C. Wilson
“No, Bailey, no.” Blake came out of his rocker and to his knees in front of her. His large palms spread over her knees as he looked up at her. His blue eyes were fiercely bright and she watched as bits of fire danced in them. “I won’t let you take responsibility for what he did. If anyone pushed buttons today, it was me. I played to his guilt and pride as a soldier no matter how long ago.”
Tears slipped down her face and plopped onto her jeans and his hands. Blake stayed where he was and she lowered her head.
“How can I feel guilty for a man who made our lives hell?” She looked up into Blake’s face and wished for an answer. Just something she could live with when she relived this part of her life. Her hands shook and her eyes were so sore from crying.
“You feel guilty because you are a good person. You have only wanted the best for everyone, including a man who hadn’t the chance to accept it.” Blake tilted his head to the side and cupped her wet jaw gently. “I thank God I met you, Bailey. Things were so dark and there wasn’t a bit of light except for an insane mission to find a family I didn’t even know for sure existed. You made it real for me. You’re my light.”
Could she have really saved him? Blake was certain she had been his angel. It was hard to separate the anger and pain from the human being Marty had been. There must have been some good in him once. Her mother loved him after all.
“I don’t hate him. Is it okay after everything that he has done that I don’t hate him for it?” Her voice shook and her bottom lip trembled as she held Blake’s gaze. His own eyes welled up as he nodded, his lips pressed tightly. Bailey tipped her hands up in her lap and linked their fingers.
“The fact that you can walk away without hate is a testament to how deeply you love, Bailey. I love that about you. You are good and kind. You are sweet and special. You are everything I had ever hoped to find and more.” Blake squeezed their fingers and leaned in closer to look into her eyes. She felt the intensity and warmth. She wanted only to curl up in it and forget the present.
“I love you, Bailey.” His breathless voice brought her focus to his mouth. She watched his lips. “I love you.” She would never forget the way his lips moved when he said the words she hoped she would never forget. They were the calm to her storm and a rocketing star in her midnight sky. She leaned forward to kiss him and he held her tightly. It was the best moment that could have come out of this experience. A higher power was looking out for her and Blake both. She felt as certain of that as of Blake’s love.
It was the day after Marty’s suicide that Matt had informed them his lawyer had found her mother’s sister in Scottsbluff, Nebraska. Apparently she had been hard to find, because she had changed her name back after her husband died. Bailey remembered her aunt from the stories her mother had shared about them growing up. Once the communication was made, Ellen Roberts came to Hot Springs. It was a bit awkward talking to her on the telephone, but once they had met again, Bailey loved her relative. Ellen looked a great deal like her mother. They were both fair haired and slender. Ellen was nearing her mid-forties, but she was a vibrant woman. Taryn instantly loved her too.
Aunt Ellen was working with the lawyers to let Taryn move to Scottsbluff with her. Her sister would finish high school there and get over the wounds of their past. Bailey couldn’t argue with the logic. She loved her sister dearly and if moving away from Hot Springs was what it took to find a new life, then that is what would happen. Bailey would miss her dearly though. Aunt Ellen had even invited Bailey to come, but it hadn’t felt right. There was an art to carving out your own life and she had already started hers. Hot Springs had more to share with her.
Bailey washed and packed Taryn’s clothing into the suitcase her aunt had bought. She carefully rolled the jeans and neatly folded the shirts. The court had agreed to let Taryn go to Ellen’s and then all the paperwork would be finished as quickly as was possible in any court. Tomorrow after the funeral, Aunt Ellen was taking Taryn home with her. Bailey sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and considered the socks in her hands. Tomorrow was an ending to a chapter that had been too long running. Change was happening and she prayed that it was for the best. They all needed it dearly-she and Taryn most of all.
“You’ll come visit, won’t you?” Taryn asked from the doorway. Bailey startled and then smiled at her sister.
“Of course, I’ll come visit you.” Bailey tossed the socks at Taryn and laughed when her sister stuck her tongue out at her. Bailey couldn’t help but fall back in thought when they had been young. There had always been arguments as to who would fold the socks. No one liked sorting the pile and eventually there were paired socks rocketing about the room. It was one happy moment when her mother was still alive and things were good. Bailey sighed and got up from the bed.
“I’ll miss you, Bailey.” Taryn’s choked voice came from behind her and she couldn’t help but turn around. Opening her arms up, Bailey hugged her sister.
“I’ll miss you too. I’m not that far away though. If you need me, I’ll be on my way as soon as I can.” Bailey promised as she rubbed her sister’s back. Taryn nodded her tawny head.
“Brave tears, right?” Taryn looked up as she stepped away. Both of them had tears slipping down their cheeks.
“Yeah, brave tears for sure.” Bailey smiled and began folding again. She contemplated her mother’s last words to both of her girls.
Brave tears, my girls, brave tears.
Dana Green had never told her girls not to cry; instead, she had told them to have brave tears. To a fifteen year old and a five year old, they had been wise words indeed. Bailey took a deep breath and looked around the room in her apartment. Her chest ached with a gamut of emotions. Everything was going to seem so quiet now. The relief brought another wave of sadness and a tinge of grief.
“Brave tears, my girl. Brave tears.” She cried silently.
CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
The night before Marty Green’s funeral, Travis had called him to come over and have another try at the family dinner. Blake had been busy helping Bailey with the funeral plans that he had temporarily put the Johnsons on hold. They understood and he was thankful for that. He couldn’t let Bailey go through this alone, but he had let her lead. For the last five days she had been somewhat of a zombie. She hadn’t been sleeping and he almost always had to remind her to eat. Lots of changes were happening and they were taking their toll on his beautiful light. He hoped tonight would be different.
“Are you ready?” Blake asked from the front door of Bailey’s apartment. Taryn’s things were scattered around the small loft. She had been staying with Bailey and he had felt the days tick by when he wasn’t holding Bailey in his arms at night. It was funny how much he missed that.
“Just a minute.” Bailey called from the bathroom. He smiled and leaned against the door jamb.
“Is Taryn with your aunt tonight?” Blake asked, hoping he sounded casual. Truth was that he couldn’t stand much more alone time. He had been fighting the urge to take Bailey aside and show her just how much he missed her. He closed his eyes trying to tamp down the fires that burned just below the surface.
“Just for dinner and then she will be back.” Bailey’s voice made him open his eyes and he was staring at his beautiful girl. She had pulled her long hair up into a ponytail and put on a halter top with capris. His senses jumped to life and flared out of control. Her brown eyes widened slightly as a smile tugged at her lips. He knew she had seen desire stiffen his features. Bailey held her sandals in one hand. She lifted her free hand to use one finger to beckon him near. Blake’s mouth was suddenly dry as he recognized the mischief in her smile. He shook his head no and remained leaning against the front door’s frame. She redid the gesture to get him to come to her, but still he refused. As much as he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and throw her down on her bed in less clothes than she stood there in now, he was tempted to see what she would do.
Bailey narrowed her eyes slightly at him and tipped her head to the
side as if considering what to do with him. With a good handle on the art of seduction, Bailey padded across the floor in her bare feet. Her hips swayed as she added a bit more sass to her walk. Blake pressed his lips shut over a chuckle, but never took his eyes from her. He didn’t think he could even if his life depended on it. Her eyes were rimmed with dark lashes and they were so wide that he could have fallen into them. They were dark, liquid pools of dripping chocolate and he knew exactly what he wanted to do.
She was so close now, merely inches away when she stopped and challenged him not to touch her. It was a challenge he was not prepared to meet. His hand involuntarily reached out, curving into her waist and pulling her hard against his body. She melted into him and around him. Her sandals fell to the floor and her leg curled around his. Blake tucked his hand beneath her thigh and lifted her to wrap both legs around his waist. Her mouth met his with such force that it knocked his head back against the trim. Neither missed a beat as she surged forward in their kiss and his hands splayed possessively over her backside. He kneaded his fingers into her jean capris and he wished fervently that the rough fabric was not covering the skin he loved so dearly.
Bailey was fierce as she clung to him tightly and continued to plunder his mouth. Her tongue dueled with his own for dominance. Blake wasn’t sure just who was starving on a greater scale. Securing her around him, Blake moved forward and pressed Bailey back against the wall. It gave him more freedom with his hands which he put right to work on the peaked orbs between them. Once his thumb and forefinger pressed their straining tips, Bailey moaned into his mouth. Her hands were anchored to his neck and he felt her nails dig into the skin. It spurred him on as he slipped one hand beneath her halter top and then freed her breast from her bra. He nearly melted when he gripped it in his hand. Her nipple pressed into his palm and she shifted her body against him. Blake knew she was as much on fire for him and he was for her.
Bailey broke from his lips and pressed kisses feverishly up his jaw and into the hollow of his throat. He threw his head back to give her better access as his hands continued to provide delicious torture to her breasts. At first he had thought it was Bailey’s gasp, but it took another voice to revoke that thought. One look at Bailey’s face and her bright red cheeks told him that they were no longer alone.
“Uh…do you want us to come back?” Blake recognized Bailey’s Aunt Ellen’s voice. He swallowed hard.
“Yes.” Bailey answered breathlessly and then blushed fiercely. Blake chuckled into her neck as he let her down. His hand slid out from underneath her shirt.
“We could go back out for ice cream. I could use some hot fudge in my diet.” Taryn offered cheerfully and Blake saw Bailey’s smile. He turned around to face the ladies.
“No, we were just leaving. We’ll be back later.” Bailey ruffled her sister’s hair, much to Taryn’s irritation and retrieved her fallen sandals. Blake smiled at them both and followed Bailey out the door. They weren’t two steps outside when he heard the loud laughter that followed them. Bailey didn’t stop until she got to his truck.
“It’s good to see you smile.” Blake said the words in the quiet of the truck’s cab. The sunset was throwing a beautiful pink and orange hue onto the horizon. His time was coming to a close here and it caused a deep ache in his heart. Bailey turned her head and looked his way.
“I think I momentarily forgot how.” Bailey’s smile now was weaker and her eyes glinted with unshed tears. “I wish things were different, Blake.”
He did understand and he knew exactly what she felt. Sadly there was no going back to the way things were and everyone would be different for what had happened. Experiences did that to people. Whether they were good or bad, it left a piece forever connected to your soul. The hardest part was living with it.
“He wasn’t living, Bailey. He was going through the motions and even that was getting difficult. Sooner or later, Marty would have ended his pain.” He gripped the steering wheel harder until his knuckles popped out. “It could have been so much worse. He could have taken you or Taryn with him when he finally decided it was enough.” Blake’s stomach churned as he shared the thoughts that had been brewing for some time.
“I never thought about that.” Bailey’s voice was thick with emotion and he hoped that he hadn’t added salt to the wound. It was enough knowing how horrible the man had treated them, but to tell her point blank what really could have happened made him angry. He hurt because she hurt. He wasn’t willing to let her go through this all alone.
“I can’t imagine my life if I had never found you.” Blake met her eyes briefly as he turned into the Johnson’s driveway. Bailey blinked a couple of times and then wiped her cheeks free of the couple of tears that had escaped.
“I would have been stuck changing that damn tire by myself.” She laughed as a couple more tears trickled down, but she smiled now. Her good humor restored and Blake grinned.
“I might have liked to see that.” Blake took a playful slap to the arm as he parked the truck out front of the ranch house. Bailey hadn’t stopped looking his way and he felt her gaze. It was warm, hopeful and assuring. He turned off the engine and reached for her hand. Blake tugged it to his lips and he kissed the soft underside of her wrist. Her pulse was strong and he noted her anticipation.
“Shall we go inside?” Blake asked her as he still held her hand. She looked at him, considering and taking him into herself. She was committing him to memory, he knew. He had been doing the same thing.
They got out of his truck and walked hand in hand to the front door. The house was quiet and it made Blake wonder where everyone was. He hoped he hadn’t heard the time or date wrong. He pulled out his phone and punched through his messages. When he found the one he was looking for, Blake confirmed that it was indeed tonight and at this very time.
“Hey guys!” Travis walked around the corner of the house, but not from the direction of the barn. He was dressed in dark blue jeans, a white western shirt, and his head was covered with a white straw cowboy hat. Blake smiled at his father. The man looked good for his age, he would give him that.
“Hi, Mr. Johnson.” Bailey gave him a wave and a sweet smile. Travis took her hand and brought it to his lips. Bailey blushed, Travis chuckled and Blake smiled broadly.
“Just Travis, my dear and I came to get you two. We have a surprise for you both.” Travis turned back down the stairs and Blake moved with Bailey to follow. Tingling senses came alive as Blake’s awareness took in the sound of the birds and the soft breeze. There were no voices though. No one was talking. He kept watch as Bailey stayed firmly linked to him.
Blake recognized the walk as the path he had followed Travis on when he had pointed out the hill where Crossing Pines received its name. The wide open prairie was beautiful and he could hear the soft gurgle of the creek nearby. The sun had dipped down behind the trees now and it wouldn’t be long before the rounded orb was completely gone. Bailey squeezed his hand when the rest of the Johnson family came into sight. He slowed his walk as he wondered why they were all gathered out here. They were all together in a group with smiles on their faces and the greeting was filled with warmth. There was Nora and her husband, Randy, Lacey, Garrett and Rayne, Matt was there with a little girl on his shoulders and Andy was holding their new baby. Travis joined them and they all faced Blake and Bailey. Blake stopped Bailey and they stood there in the midst of everyone watching. His heart was beating frantically and he focused on breathing. Bailey didn’t let him go and in that moment he squeezed her hand a bit tighter.
“What’s this?” Blake swallowed hard as he looked from one smiling face to another. Travis put his arm around Lacey’s shoulders and hugged her to him.
“Blake, we have discussed this issue at length and we wanted to share our unanimous conclusion with you tonight.” Travis looked pointedly at his family and they all smiled brighter. Nora was first to say something.
“I grew up with two younger brothers.” She grinned, nudging Garrett in the ri
bs. She stepped forward and rubbed Blake’s shoulder. “I always wanted a big brother. Welcome to our family.” She kissed his cheek and he noted the tears that filled her pristine blue eyes.
“Welcome to the family.” Randy stepped forward and shook Blake’s hand. He then tucked his wife under his arm, stepping aside.
“I know we didn’t hit it off well when you first got here.” Garrett’s voice was gruff and his expression was pained. He took special care to look Blake in the eye as he came forward. “I want you to know that I have your back, brother,” Garrett held out his hand and the title held more meaning than it had ever held before. Blake shook it with a hearty nod. He didn’t trust his voice yet.
“I like to think that I knew before anyone else.” Rayne half whispered as she walked up to him and kissed Blake on the cheek. He chuckled at that and he glanced at Bailey. She was nearly in tears too. Matt came next with the little girl on his shoulders.
“Any time you need me, I’ll be there.” Matt smiled warmly and he jostled the sweet girl above him. She shrieked and pulled his hair. “This is your niece, Harper.” Matt introduced her and Harper grinned widely.
“Hello Uncle Blake.” Harper was reciting as she grasped for the words, but Blake smiled brilliantly at her anyway. She was such a little doll.
“You’re a good man to have in a tight spot. Welcome to our family, Blake.” Andy tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and held little Regan so he could see her. The baby’s soft pink lips were pursed in sleep as her long fingers twitched. Blake thought he wouldn’t mind having one or two of his own someday.
That left Lacey and Travis standing where the others had been. It was clear that they were hiding something from sight, but he figured he would know all about it soon. Lacey came forward and took his free hand. Her blue eyes were soft like cornflowers and she searched his face. He squeezed her hand gently, but didn’t say anything.
