Everything was quiet, and Keisha couldn’t hear anything except her own beating heart.
Donovan then leaned down and began kissing Keisha on the neck. Keisha began feeling a sensation that she had never had. She hadn’t had it with Donovan before, when he was slinging on the block and she was aimless, and she certainly hadn’t felt it when she was on the porn shoot. For the first time, she felt comfortable with who she was. She didn’t feel like something was happening to her. She felt in tune with Donovan, and that felt good.
“Oooh, that feels so good,” Keisha cooed, and Donovan slowly rubbed her side and kissed her neck. She took her hand and felt the muscles in his back. As she rubbed his back, she started nibbling on Donovan’s ear.
“I love you,” Donovan said, raising up and looking straight into her eyes. “I really do.”
Keisha didn’t want to say that, not now. But she did want him.
“Just kiss me,” she said, putting her hands around Donovan’s neck and pulling him toward her.
They began kissing passionately, with Donovan beginning to unbutton her top. She began pulling down his pants, and he began pulling down hers.
“You are still beautiful,” he said. He began to slowly kiss her on her chest, and she began to arch her back, loving each succulent kiss. Keisha reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Donovan instantly began kissing her breasts, sucking on her areolas and flicking them with his tongue.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered. Keisha leaned her head back and just let the pleasure roll over her as she felt herself getting wet.
“Don’t worry, I won’t,” he said, smiling. “I’m going to kiss you here.” He kissed her on her stomach. “And here, and here.” He kept going until he reached her belly button, where he licked it over and over.
At that point, Donovan began pulling down Keisha’s panties, rubbing her ass, slowly and firmly. And then he came back up to her face, and they began kissing passionately. Keisha nibbled on Donovan’s ear and then turned him on his back.
“Now it’s my turn,” she said. Keisha ran her hand over Donovan’s chest, letting her index fingers trace the creases of his muscles. She slowly began kissing his chest and then moving back to his neck. As she kissed him on his neck, her right hand slid under his boxers and began to rub his dick lightly with her fingertips. She grabbed it firmly and began to stroke it slowly. He was rock-hard, and his hips slowly gyrated to her rhythm. She then took her little finger and began to probe his balls, tickling them as she continued to stroke and kiss him up and down his torso.
“God, that feels so damn good,” he moaned. Keisha ran her fingers over the tip of his dick, and then she began pulling off his boxers. His dick stood erect, and Keisha started licking Donovan’s balls, slowly, with long, full licks.
“Do you like that?” she asked earthily. Donovan said nothing, and she took his silence as a yes. She then kissed the length of his shaft, finally taking it into her mouth. Before, Keisha hadn’t liked giving head to Donovan. It had made her feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. But now she felt safe, and for the first time, she was enjoying giving pleasure. She moved her head up and down, sucking and licking with her tongue.
“Jesus,” Donovan muttered. “Keep going, don’t stop.”
Keisha moved faster and faster on Donovan’s dick until he put his hand on her head, stopping her.
“Am I doing something wrong?” she asked, wiping her mouth.
“Not a thing,” he said, raising up. “But now it’s my turn to pleasure you. Turn over on your stomach.”
Keisha scooted to the top of the bed and placed her face on the pillow. Donovan slid down to Keisha’s feet and started kissing her calves. He then moved to the insides of her thighs.
Keisha’s hands began to dig into the pillow, as the pleasure began rushing over her again. Then Donovan put his hands under Keisha’s thighs and lifted them. He began licking Keisha’s pussy, darting his tongue in and out.
“Aww, aww, aww,” Keisha whispered. This was something new for Donovan. Back in the old days, he’d decried any brother who ate pussy as being a punk. And now, there he was.
And then he stopped. Keisha stayed on her stomach, her breathing slow and steady. Without a word, Donovan walked to his drawer and pulled out a condom. He put it on and came back to Keisha. She turned over to look at him. His dick stood erect, and his body was silhouetted by the dying sunlight filtering through the window shades.
“I want you like I’ve never wanted another man before,” she said, looking directly into his eyes.
“I want you too,” he said. He lowered himself and entered her. Her hands found the small of his back, and as Donovan began thrusting slowly, she let herself relax and feel his fullness. He moved slowly, letting her feel his length as he probed all around her pussy. She felt her pussy grab his dick and control it, willing it to spots where Keisha felt the most pleasure. Donovan lifted her upper body so he could see Keisha react to him.
Keisha’s mouth was open as Donovan began thrusting faster and faster.
“Shit, shit,” she uttered. “Oooh, shit!”
Donovan would go deep and then pull out slowly. And then he moved his pelvis so that he circled her pussy, over and over. He was hitting her clit steadily and she could feel her mind going blank. There was nothing but the sound of her voice and his gutteral noises, and both were making her even more aroused.
Like a domino effect, Donovan’s movements moved her closer and closer to orgasm. And when Donovan moved his body so that his dick was hitting her G-spot, it was too much. It felt like her nipples were going to burst, and her ass kept clenching and unclenching.
“I’m cumming,” she said, almost matter-of-factly, but nothing was matter-of-fact. Donovan kept doing the same thing, hitting her clit just right, and then it happened.
When Keisha came, she had a high-pitched scream that came from deep within her. When she finished, she could feel Donovan become harder than ever. He started thrusting faster and faster, and Keisha could do nothing but hold on.
“Cum for me, baby!” she screamed.
“Gawd!” Donovan yelled. As Donovan came, his ass tightened up and Keisha could feel Donovan spasm inside her, with three final violent thrusts to complete his orgasm. And for thirty seconds, Donovan lay on top of her, still inside her. It was as though he didn’t want to lose that feeling of intimacy. Finally he pulled out and lay beside her.
“Does this change everything?” he asked softly.
“I don’t know,” she said, putting her hand on his chest. “We’ll just have to see.”
Keisha had fallen asleep on Donovan’s chest. She was awakened by the early-morning rays peeking through the window shades. Donovan was already up, and she could smell coffee brewing. She turned over and looked at the digital clock. It read six o’clock in the morning.
“You can go back to sleep if you want,” Donovan said, dressed in his work clothes. “But I’ve got to get to the construction site by seven, or I’ll break my never-late record.”
He walked over to the chair and picked up a yellow construction hat and then sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at Keisha longingly.
“But I would break that record just to sleep next to you all day,” he said, smiling.
Keisha smiled and ran her fingers along Donovan’s arm.
“That’s sweet, but go to work,” she said. “I’ve got to get up and go to school. After that, I’m going to get ready to do my last performances anyway.”
“Why don’t you just quit the club?” Donovan asked, standing up to go. “I can give you the money to make up for these final days.”
“Thank you, baby, but the days of anyone taking care of me are over,” she said, sitting up. “I’m doing this because despite what anyone thinks of Sean, he did give me a chance to accomplish my goal, which was to make enough to go to UCLA. I’ve done it, and it’s partly due to him. So I’m not going to leave him in the lurch.”
She slipped out of the bed and put her panties back on. “And t
he other reason is that I want to go on that stage and feel what it’s like to be out there for the last time. I want to identify all of the places where I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I want to hear the men yelling the most vile things to me so I’ll never go back to it. I need to know that all of that is behind me. I’m closing chapters and I need to close this one with authority.”
Keisha kept picking up various pieces of her clothing, finding a bra here and a sock there. She looked adorable to Donovan, so he walked to her and gave her a kiss.
“Then do your thang. But I’ve got to go,” he said. “There’s orange juice in the refrigerator and enough stuff for breakfast. Just lock the door behind you and we’ll talk later.”
He began walking out the door and then turned back around and kissed her again.
As she heard Donovan drive away, Keisha began thinking about what last night meant. Did she want to have a relationship with Donovan?
That’s something I’ll have to think about, she thought.
She poured herself a cup of coffee, sat on the living room couch, and stared through the curtains at her mother’s house across the street. Most people would have a sense of nostalgia looking at their childhood home, but Keisha’s was one of dread. There was nothing positive about her old home, and it represented a past she was trying to put behind her. But something still drew her to it. Just like closing the chapter with the Chi Chi Room, she yearned to do the same thing with her mother and brother.
Then the front door of her old house opened, and Andre sat on the front steps, looking like Doughboy from Boyz n the Hood. He had on white socks and house shoes, black shorts, and an oversize old-school Magic Johnson Lakers jersey. It was nearly seven o’clock, and he was dressed for another day of doing nothing, Keisha thought.
Keisha finished her coffee and went back into Donovan’s bedroom, grabbing her clothes and putting them on. She had class at nine, and she wanted to get back to Patra’s so she could shower. But as she got to the front door, she saw that Andre was still sitting on the stoop, and he didn’t look like he was moving.
I’ve got to get out of here, she thought, eyeing her car and Andre. But she didn’t want Andre to see her. So she stood at the door and, like waiting for a telephone to ring, waited for Andre to go back into the house.
After thirty minutes, Andre finally stood up and went inside. Without a second to spare, Keisha opened the front door and walked outside, rapidly trying to open the door to her car before Andre came back outside. But it was too late. Andre came back out and saw Keisha as she got into her car.
“Keisha!” he yelled. He started walking across the street, and Keisha kept trying to put her keys into the car’s ignition. But she kept missing.
“Keisha, wait!” Andre yelled again. “Roll down the window. I have something to tell you.”
Now he was at her car door and Keisha felt trapped. All she could do was lower the window a bit. “What do you want?” she asked.
Andre already had bloodshot eyes from smoking weed. Keisha wanted to keep things short and sweet, but Andre had something to say.
“What are you doing here?” he asked curiously. Then he looked at Donovan’s house. “Oh, you back with Donovan?”
“I said, what do you want? If you ain’t got shit to say, then get off my door and let me go.”
“Wait, I just wanted to tell you that you were right,” he said. “Momma is full of shit.”
Keisha looked at him with a frown. “I needed you to tell me that?” she asked sarcastically.
“No, you didn’t. But I needed to tell you that,” he said. “But that’s not exactly why I came over here. Daddy’s back in town.”
Keisha shot him a look. “How long has he been back?”
“For about a week,” he said. “But there’s something else.”
“What?”
“He’s in the hospital and he’s got terminal cancer. He wants to see you before he dies.”
Keisha put her head on the steering wheel. This was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Her father had left one evening when she was a baby and she hadn’t seen him since. At first she’d been angry, really angry, about him leaving. But then she’d started looking at her mother and found herself resenting how her mother had treated him. So she considered herself without real parents. But now that he was back in town, she needed to see him—today.
“Where is he?” she asked, holding the wheel tightly.
“Over at Cedars-Sinai in West L.A. If I were you, I’d go there now if you want to see him before he dies. He’s in pretty bad shape and I don’t think he has much time. That’s what Momma was supposed to tell you when she saw you, but like always, she failed.”
“Yeah, of course.” Keisha started up her car. “Thanks for telling me.”
“No problem,” Andre said. “Hey, I’m going to move out and straighten out my life. It’s going to be hard and I don’t know how it’s going to end up. But I want to say I’m sorry for believing Momma. You were the one with the fucking brains, not her. Now I need to get some brains.”
Keisha looked at her brother. Yes, he was still smoking weed, but he sounded sincere, and not full of shit, as he usually was. What the fuck is going on around here? Keisha thought. Everyone is getting their shit together.
“Don’t worry, you’ve got brains,” Keisha said. “You’ve just got to use them.” Keisha turned on the ignition and started to drive away. She stopped and turned around. Andre was making his way back to the house.
“If you need anything, just holla,” she yelled after him. He stopped and smiled. She drove off to the hospital.
Chapter 26
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note—torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.
—Henry Ward Beecher
Keisha pulled into Cedars-Sinai’s parking lot, trying to gather her thoughts. She hadn’t seen her father in all these years, and to see him in this condition? It was too much to comprehend. She slowly walked through the hospital doors and went to the admissions desk.
“Hello,” she started. “I’m looking for Felice Montez.”
“Just one second,” the nurse said. She tapped on the computer and pulled up his record. “He’s on the fifth floor.”
“Thank you,” she said, beginning to walk to the elevator.
“Wait a second,” the nurse said. She began riffling through her drawer. “You need to sign in and then put this on.”
The nurse handed Keisha a clipboard and a wristband. Keisha signed the clipboard and put on the wristband.
“Thanks,” she said.
The doors to the elevator closed and even though three others were sharing it, she didn’t notice them. As the floors flew by, she became more and more anxious. Finally the doors opened and she walked to another nurse.
“Which room is Felice Montez in?” she asked.
“In 512,” the nurse said, going back to her work.
Keisha turned the corner and slowly walked to Room 512. As she got closer, she could see through the room’s window that a nurse was standing over her father. She stood at the door’s entrance for about ten seconds, before her father noticed her.
“Keisha,” he said in a low, raspy breath. Felice Montez, who’d once weighed 225 pounds at six-feet-two, was now an emaciated man.
He doesn’t weigh more than 150 pounds, she thought.
“Yes, Daddy, it’s me,” she said. The nurse finished adjusting a tube on Felice’s throat and then turned to go.
“Please keep your visit to about five minutes,” the nurse whispered. “He’s not too strong and he’s going in and out of consciousness.”
“Thank you,” Keisha replied. The nurse left and Keisha slowly walked to her father’s bedside. A tube was inserted in his trachea, and he was having trouble breathing. But his eyes were bright.
“Not the way I wanted to see my favorite daughter, but it
’ll have to do,” he said, with a little humor. “Come give me a hug.”
“Nope,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I won’t hug you until you tell me why you left.”
Felice slowly turned his head away from Keisha, trying to avoid her eyes. “Oh, Keisha, do we have to go into this now?”
“Yes, we do,” she said defiantly. “You owe me an explanation and I’m not going to wonder for the rest of my life why you did what you did.”
“Okay, so you want the truth,” he said, turning back to her.
“Yes, I want the truth.”
He took a deep, raspy breath. “Your mother and I decided that I would go to Las Vegas to get a job, work at it for six months, and then bring you guys out. I desperately wanted to get you and Andre out of South Central. I could see what it was going to do to both of you. You were doing great in school but Andre was drifting. I thought if I could get you guys out, then you would have a better future.”
“But why didn’t you bring us out? What happened?”
“Things happened,” he said. “The more I was away from your mother, the more I remembered how unhappy I was with her. We just grew apart, and the more we were apart, the more we couldn’t get together.”
“How come you didn’t just call us and tell us that?” Keisha asked.
“I tried, but your mother stopped me at every point. I wanted you guys to come to live with me, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She wanted to punish me, and she did. I’m just sorry that you guys got caught in the middle.” He looked at Keisha with teary eyes. “Will you forgive me?”
Keisha stood there, torn. The anger of not having a father for all those years welled up within. And yet she was looking at her father, a father who was going to die at any second. So she lied, kissing him on the cheek. “Yes, I forgive you.” For about thirty seconds, he held her in his arms. She was his little girl again.
“Yes,” she said, “I forgive you.”
“I don’t have much time,” he said. “Smoking all those menthols finally caught up with me. I’ve got throat cancer and they’ve pumped me up with so much medicine, I can barely keep up with where I am half the time. But I’m glad you came, because I have something for you. Go over to that bag.”
Skin Game Page 19
