David bowed his head to me as we entered the compound. Reyn, Lane and Judah were visibly trembling at the trauma they’d endured under the army’s banner they now walked right past. We moved through the hallways, not saying a word as we marched to the foot of the well we were to climb up.
I don’t know why I hoped Kerdik would be there. We’d said our goodbyes last night. They were solemn, and filled with shortly spoken promises that clipped off whole anthems we wanted to express to each other. But the truth is, we knew it already. I knew what pedestal he put me on, and he knew what he meant to me. He promised to visit Avalon at least once a year to make sure everything was okay.
“Only once a year?” I’d said. “But this is your home.”
Kerdik shook his head sadly. “There’s nothing for me here if you’re not in Avalon. I need to leave for a while. Get some perspective, some space.” He’d leaned in and quickly kissed my cheek. “Now tell me you’ll have a grand life with Bastien, and that you’ll come home to me when it’s over.”
I’d nodded, banding my arms around my middle. “I promise.” I’d craned my neck to gaze up at him. “Thank you. Love like yours? I’ve never met anyone like you.” I’d looked down at my shoes and bit down on my lower lip. “But if you find someone while I’m gone, I’ll understand.”
Kerdik cast aside our composed farewell and jerked me to him, staring down into my wide eyes with intensity that, even a day later, still made my heart flutter. “There will be no one else. Until you come home to me, my heart will remain in two places.” Then he’d kissed me, long and passionate. Just messy enough to break us both into a million nonfunctional pieces. “I love you, Rosie. Never doubt that you are the beauty who gave me back my heart.”
My hand wound through his blue hair, studying it and memorizing every follicle. “I love you, too.”
One last kiss and he’d vanished, leaving me with a gaping wound I well deserved.
Bastien tore me a new one after that, but the fight quickly died when Draper stormed in and reminded Bastien that he’d slept with a prostitute before, and I had two lifetimes I had to consider.
Mad growled when we reached the portal, jerking me back to the present. The few soldiers who stood near the entrance to the next world left us, scattering at one look from the forbidding Untouchable. I almost wished the soldiers hadn’t left, though, because now there were goodbyes to suffer through. I wasn’t sure I had any more tears in me. Reyn hugged Link and Annabelle, and bowed respectfully to Mad. Judah and Draper did the same, and grabbed the first seat up.
I didn’t offer to ride up with Judah. I knew that Bastien would have a conniption if I was out of his sight. We’d been parted too often to be cool through even the smallest separations. We were both pretty shaken, especially with the new Vampire twist to our relationship. Instead of feeling weird around each other, we were now one of those couples who were attached at the hip. There were worse things to be, I guess. Still, it was a steep learning curve we were still adjusting to.
Lane wept on Link’s shoulder, the emotions of leaving her homeland coming to a head in the emotionally-stunted man’s arms. It was better than falling apart in Mad’s arms, I guess, but not by much. Link looked like he was actively juggling three lemons in the air, unsure where to hold Lane as she broke down. “There, there?” he guessed, and then started stammering nonsensically when I rolled my eyes at his lame attempt to comfort my mother.
Mad sensed he might be next, so he backed away and positioned Annabelle in front of him, bracing himself from the affection that made him itch.
“Thank you for rescuing my Rosie from those men,” she blubbered. Her face was wet as she kissed Link’s stubbled cheek. “And thank you for rescuing me. If you hadn’t come, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I would still be tied there, letting those awful soldiers…” Her sentence cut off as she hiccupped her gratitude on Link’s shoulder.
Finally, Link seemed to grow a brain when his eyes connected with mine. I gave him a solemn nod, letting him know that all a man had to do was be kind, and give the woman in his arms a safe place to fall apart until she was ready to put herself back together. Link took a deep breath and banded his arms around my mother, proving that there were good men in the world. “There, there. You’re safe now, wee Duchess.”
Lane laughed through her tears at the nickname only Link could get away with.
He pulled back to look down at her. “Or are ye my mammy now, too? Bastien’s my brother, and he’ll soon be your son.”
A tender and precious look crossed Lane’s features, letting Link know that he’d burrowed into her heart and opened up a whole new facet of love for her to tap into. She leaned up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, my boy. My sweet son.” She paused for the cutie pie blush that crept up the tips of Link’s ears. “Come visit us whenever you like.” She’d given him instructions on how to reach us in our world, not that we expected he’d ever try to. Link belonged to Faîte, so that’s where he would stay. Lane owned a P.O. Box in the town nearest the well, and she’d given the address to Kerdik, Lot, Link and Mad. She promised that as soon as we put down permanent roots, she would leave a card with a burner phone and our address inside the P.O. Box.
Lane pinched Link’s cheeks, making him smile in that adorable way you do when your mother embarrasses you in front of your friends. She kissed Annabelle, and exchanged respectful bows with Mad. “Thank you for agreeing to marry my Rosie when she needed you. And thank you for looking out for us.”
Mad narrowed his eyes at her. “Aye. Go on, now. I don’t need ye hugging me and making a scene.”
It was Mad’s way of saying goodbye, which Lane respected. She knelt down and hugged Annabelle once more. “You give this hug to your papa, but save it for a time when he looks like he really needs it, okay?”
“Aye, Duchess.”
Reyn and Lane caught the swing when it came back down the narrow passageway. I didn’t like the unease I felt at being in a different world than Draper, and even worse at the separation from Judah. Reyn took his time situating Lane, who straddled him. Each of them held a pack of clothes and provisions, and a separate bag of jewels. Lane was firm that we would never be homeless again, so each of us had as many of our belongings as possible, plus a backpack of gold and jewels. As we’d still left whole treasure troves for Lot, I didn’t begrudge girlfriend whatever she wanted to take with us.
I stood to the side as Bastien said his quiet goodbyes to Link and Mad, hugging them both in that unshakable Brotherhood way that tugged at my deadened heartstrings. The two made a promise that they would come and visit in the next five years, which didn’t feel like a solid “I’ll see you soon.”
I waited for the swing to come down, hoping they’d count my casual wave as an adequate goodbye. I’d been abandoned enough and left too many people to count. I couldn’t say goodbye to the Untouchables again. They’d been my… They’d been mine. Had I another twenty years living with them, it still wouldn’t be enough.
I chanted in my head for the swing to hurry and come back down already as Bastien wrapped up his farewells.
“Rosie, come here,” Link demanded, an edge in his tone. I knew he was mad that I had my back to them, ready to bolt.
The swing finally came into sight, and I heaved a gust of relief. “I’ll see you guys around,” I said without turning to face my goodbyes. When Bastien was still standing with them, I positioned myself on the swing and started pulling myself up. “I’ll give you guys some time. See you up there.”
32
Scarecrow and the Tin Man
“Rosie!” Link shouted, clearly hurt that I was ditching out on one last back-and-forth with him.
I didn’t want to wound Link, but I knew I couldn’t say goodbye to him. I didn’t have it in me. I was mentally and emotionally spent, and well past broken. I yanked myself up with the pulley, breathing easier with the distance.
I startled and nearly fell off the swing when I fel
t something hard tug on my ankle. The hand wrapped around my leg again, and this time I did fall, tumbling the few feet down into Mad’s beefy and overlong arms. I squirmed like a fish trying to get back into the safer waters, but he was just as stubborn and far stronger. “Did ye really think ye could run off like tha? Tha I don’t deserve so much as a goodbye?”
I twisted in his arms, not making any progress. “I can’t do it, Mad! If I say it, it’ll be real, and I can’t handle another ounce of reality. Let me go!”
Mad set me down, his expression stern enough to make me stop trying to escape. My chest moved unevenly, and I couldn’t meet his eyes. He spoke in his harsh cadence that, over our time together, I’d grown to find comforting. “Tell me goodbye, and tha you’ll look after Bastien for us.”
My arms banded around my stomach, as if that could keep my guts from spilling out all over the packed dirt. “Goodbye, Mad. I’ll make sure Bastien’s safe. I’ll look after him for you.”
Mad’s finger went under my chin to keep me from staring at my shoes. “Grand. Now tell me you’ll lose a lot of sleep missing us. Not Avalon. Not the others. Link and me. Tell me it’ll tear ye up.”
I shook my head, unable to get out any more words.
“Tell me,” Mad demanded, making himself about as vulnerable as he got. When bossing me wasn’t working, he pulled me in for the hug he swore up and down he hated and didn’t need. “Tell me,” he said, though the plea was softer this time.
I remained stiff in his arms, punching my fist on his shoulder every time I started a fresh sentence. The angst in me welled, choking me and reminding me that I was choosing to leave this man that I loved. I was choosing to break my own heart, and I hated myself for this sin of all sins.
“I’ll miss you every day so badly, I won’t be able to say your name for at least a few months. I’ll change the subject whenever anyone talks about you two, and lock myself in the bathroom so I can cry without everyone seeing how terrible it is to love someone as much as I love you two, and then having to live without you. I love you so much that I hate you – hate that I have to live without someone who I didn’t even know existed a year ago. I hate that I need you, and I love that you let me, and never called me out on it. But I do. I need you, Mad. You were right when you guys said that by marrying Bastien, I’d be marrying all of you. That’s what this feels like – leaving a man who I deeply and truly love.”
Mad’s eyebrows rose. “I didn’t mean ye had to say all tha.”
I chuckled into his shirt. Then I leaned up on my toes and pecked his lips. “Tell me I didn’t ruin your life by dragging you into mine.”
He brushed my hair back from my forehead with both hands, and then cupped my face, swallowing my cheeks with his overlarge mitts. “I was ruined long before I met ye. It’s only when ye came along tha I had purpose again. Started breathing. T’was a long time since I’d breathed.” He growled at the guys to look away, so they didn’t gawk at him for being sweet to me. Then he leaned down and kissed me again, drawing out my lower lip. “Ye were a grand wife, Rosie.”
I was about to reply when Link scooped me up in his arms and ran back toward the heart of the compound. “Tha’s it! Ye aren’t going back to Common. You’re staying here with us.”
“Link! Put me down, you monkey!”
Link slowed, dropping me to my feet, but he kept my torso pinned to his body in a tight hug. He squeezed me without talking for half a minute, and then finally broke the tense silence with a loud raspberry to the mark on my neck. His lips brushed my ear as he spoke permanence and affection straight into my trembling heart. “Remember whose prize ye are. You’re Untouchable, wee Rose. If any of the lads in Common give ye grief, send for me and I’ll bend them into pretzels for ye.”
I didn’t waste any more time, but went straight for the core of it, gripping the nape of Link’s neck to keep his cheek pinned to mine. “I want you to smile all the time, have lots of adventures and enjoy as many women who are lucky enough to get you into their beds.” Link chuckled, but I wasn’t finished. “But when you find the one you want to stay a second night with, don’t throw her away. Move Heaven and earth to make it work with her, the way you moved Heaven and earth to give me a better life.”
“Aw, ye know I won’t be settling down. Tha’s the thing about monkeys.” He kissed my neck tattoo, and when he pulled back, I felt moisture from his tears on my skin. He buried his face in my neck again, partly to hide his tears, and partly to keep his next confession just between us. “I only had Mad before ye. The Brotherhood is grand, but Bastien was a hermit and the others aren’t much better. No one gets our language, our world, the way ye did.” He drew in a stuttering breath that made me hold him tighter, alarmed at his sudden bend toward falling apart. “If ye were thinking about staying, then don’t go. Not yet, at least. I never got to show ye my homeland. Ye can leave after a few months of a little more time with us. Please, Rosie. We need ye to keep us soft. Without tha, we get old.” He clutched me tighter, a quiet panic gripping him in the same way it had me when I thought about leaving him. “I don’t want to be old yet!”
It was my turn to hold him together, and I didn’t take that responsibility lightly. So rare was it for my Untouchables to admit they needed anything or anyone. After all the downward spirals my life had taken, there in my arms was proof that I was one of the lucky ones. “Hey, it’s alright, honey. Link, I’m here. We’ll see each other again. And you know how to find us, right? If you need me, come to Common. I’ll make sure there’s a room for you, Mad and Annabelle, okay?”
“What if I said I need ye now? What then?”
I smiled against his cheek, running my fingers through the small hairs that tickled his neck. “You have me now, silly boy. I love you, Link. You travel with your own portable sunshine. It’s me you should be crying for, having to live in Common without your smile.”
“Then ye should stay. Come stay in Éireland with me, Mad and Annabelle. We’d treat ye like a queen there.” He hugged me and then straightened, lifting my toes off the ground so he could wrap my legs around his waist. I felt weightless and precious in his burly arms. “If there’s no one to come home to, lads like me tend not to have a home at all. Don’t go.”
“I don’t belong here,” I confessed. “That you love me when there’s barely enough pieces of me left to be a whole person? I don’t understand it, but I need it. I’ll remember that glow in your eyes when I start over up there, and I’ll take it with me wherever I go.”
Link frowned and looked down at his chest. “Take off my necklace.”
“Is it itching you?” I unhooked it and massaged the back of his neck.
“I want ye to wear it. Look in the mirror and remember that Mad and I love ye.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I know it’s not as fancy as your rings, but my mammy gave it to me before I joined the army. She said it would keep me safe and remind me of home. I want ye safe, and to know that we’re home to each other.”
I gasped. “No, Link. I can’t. Not a chance. It’s too special.”
“You’re too special. Take it.”
“But you don’t have anything to remind you of me!”
“Aye. I have your smile, the dagger ye gave me from the treasury yesterday, and this.” He closed the breath of a gap between us and kissed my lips, ignoring Bastien’s hiss of frustration.
Over and over, Link kissed me, reminding me that there would never be anything between us that could sever our connection – not in Avalon, and not in Common. When his tongue sneaked past my lips, it was a pledge that he wasn’t afraid of my sharper teeth, or any parts of me that even I was still frightened of.
I guess that’s the thing about warriors. They’re not afraid of you, even when there’s plenty of evidence that the fight for redemption is doomed.
Link tasted like tears, so I was gentle with him, slowing the pace of the kiss that tugged at my tender insides.
“Does everyone feel free rein to just up and kiss my fiancée
whenever they feel like? Look at the ring on her finger, Link. Stop kissing my girlfriend.” Bastien pointed at Mad, too. “That goes double for you. Next time either of you gets a girlfriend, I’m kissing her nice and good and in public. There might even be tongue. You’ve been warned.”
Link paid Bastien no mind when he kissed me again, parting our lips a little more so he could sweep his tongue across mine again. “I love ye, wee Rose. Be safe up there, and come for me when it’s not safe.”
“I will. Same goes for you. If you’re scared, come and get me. I’ll watch over you.”
The corner of Link’s mouth lifted in a wry smile. “You’ll take care of me?”
“I always do. You’re my Lucky Charm.” I leaned in and sighed against his cheek, inhaling the scent of his sweat and cologne. “Don’t wait five whole years to come visit. Seriously. That’s ridiculous.” I swallowed hard, my temple pressed to his. “Lie to me, Link. Tell me you’ll come over soon. My heart can’t take all this breaking.”
Link kissed me one more time, and then set me down so he could wipe his eyes. “Aye. Go back to your lad, now. Take care of him and make sure he puts a baby in ye first thing.”
I guffawed. “Gross! Don’t say it like that. You’re such a caveman.”
Link shrugged and pointed two fingers to Bastien. “Ye heard me. I want a nephew I can swing in the air by the time I come visit. None of these delicate wee babies I have to be careful with.” He blanched. “Hey, Rosie?”
“Yeah, Link?”
There seemed to be a million more goodbyes he wanted to say, but he chose the best one either of us could think of. “‘I like it when ye call me Big Poppa.’”
I closed the gap between us again and jumped into his arms, letting my body crash to his so I could feel the treasure of his heartbeat. “See you soon, Big Poppa.”
Bastien sat on the plank, all four packs situated over his corded arms. I kissed the top of Annabelle’s head, and turned from the three. My limbs were trembling as I threaded my legs around Bastien, clinging to the man I would’ve stayed in Avalon with, had he asked me. Luckily, Bastien loved me enough not to request I stay somewhere that was bad for us. He blew out a nervous breath at leaving behind the Brotherhood that had seen us both through far too much.
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