“Yes, I do.” I patted the bed, inviting Brock to sit down, and he did. “I need you to listen to me without interrupting. Will you do that for me?” I requested. I wouldn’t be here to protect them later, and I knew that any action I took with Derrick would have consequences for Brock and his family. He had to understand!
“OK. You have to understand that it’s very hard for me to see that tiny man as a threat, but I’ll listen.” He was right about Derrick being small. Derrick was only five feet ten, but it wasn’t his size that made him a predator.
“When I said he doesn’t play fair, I meant it. Danielle told me that he sent her to seduce a member of the planning committee in Illinois when a housing bill was coming up that would thwart his plans of investing in real estate in the area. She wasn’t allowed to sleep with him, only get him in a compromising position so one of his friends could take pictures. That bill never passed.”
Brock opened his mouth to speak, and I held up my hand. “You said you’d listen.” He nodded, sealing his lips, and I continued. “She was supposed to bribe you to throw a race, and you know how that turned out. He didn’t sell drugs, but he profited from them, and his contacts reach far because he will stop at nothing to win. I need you to understand this isn’t a game. He will burn down this entire ranch if need be to get his way.”
“Can I speak now?” Brock broke in.
I was exasperated because he still wasn’t taking me seriously, and I knew it didn’t matter what I said. His ego was going to get us all killed if I allowed it. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice his family that way.
“Fine.” I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting to hear whatever words of comfort Brock had to offer.
“He’s a con artist. I completely understand what you’re saying, darlin’, but we’ve got a hundred men who know how to protect this land. I’ll even give you that he may have let those horses out, or had someone do it, because we weren’t prepared. Now that I know what we’re dealing with, I can promise you he’ll never set foot on this land again without me knowing or approving of it. I’m going to round up all the men for a meeting tonight and make sure of it.”
I wanted to believe Brock could be that white knight riding in on his horse to save the day, but I couldn’t. The stakes were too high, and I wasn’t willing to gamble with his life.
“I hope you’re right,” was the best I could offer. Knowing I was going to give up my heart to make sure Brock and his family were safe was killing me. Without thought, I picked up Jeremy and took him to his crib, then turned back to run into Brock’s arms.
I initiated the kiss, pouring all my love into it, hoping he’d somehow know that what I was doing was protecting what I held most dear to my heart. Brock and my little Jeremy. That kiss turned so heated that I was breathless by the time our mouths pulled apart. I wanted so much more. If I was going to have to leave him forever, then was it horribly wrong to have a piece of heaven that I could hold close to my heart on those long, cold, lonely nights ahead?
“I want to make love to you,” I murmured. Jeremy’s giggling brought me out of my overwhelming lust, but only slightly. There was no other man in this world I wanted to share my first time with.
“You have no idea how much I want you, sweetheart.” Pulling away to adjust his jeans, he gave me a longing look before going over to take care of his son.
“After he goes to bed tonight?” I was being completely brazen, but I didn’t know how much time we had left together. One night. It would have to be enough. My chest hurt at the thought of walking away from Brock forever.
“You sure? I know how special a woman’s first time is to her. Kind of thought we’d wait until we were married.” Brock’s words nearly knocked me off my feet. We hadn’t talked about marriage, and despite knowing it could never happen, he still brought a smile to my face.
“You want to marry me?” I knew he wasn’t a virgin—the proof was laughing in his arms right now. It made me love him even more for being willing to wait for me that way.
“Are you kidding me? I’d go to the justice of the peace right now if you’d have me. Guess I’m going about this all the wrong way. I haven’t even bought a ring yet.” He chuckled and looked at Jeremy. “Do you think I can talk her into becoming my wife, Little Man?”
How could I tell this beautiful cowboy I could never belong to him? “Why don’t you come back and do it properly later, and I’ll let you know?” I reasoned. Forcing myself to grin when my heart was breaking in two wasn’t easy.
“Yes, ma’am.” He tipped an imaginary hat on his head, and that made me really smile. It was moments like this that belonged in my memories forever. “Right now, though, I think we’d better get out of this room so I can concentrate on something other than how beautiful you are.”
We went downstairs together, where Mary was sitting in the kitchen with Frank, talking over coffee. “I’m sorry I was so rude earlier,” I apologized. I felt horrible for leaving that way, and this woman didn’t deserve to be treated like that.
“Nonsense. You were worried about my grandson and my boy. I completely understand.” She winked, and I smiled. I knew when I left this place she’d probably never forgive me for hurting Brock. That was going to put another hole in my heart. “So, what are we going to do about this man?”
“I’ve alerted all the hands that we’re on lookout, and we’ll have around the clock duty,” Frank said, shooting a stern glance at Brock for approval. Brock gave a nod, and that was all he seemed to need. “Your brother is gonna be sending a car out to patrol the farm and ranch every shift as well, not that we’ll need it. We know how to protect the land.”
“I agree, but it doesn’t hurt to have extra eyes. After that barn incident this morning, we don’t want to take any chances,” Brock replied. I was amazed he was finally accepting that Derrick was responsible.
“I put a call in to Anthony George, and he’s talking with the judge to see what legal rights that man has,” Mary said, her lip lifting into a sneer. I could tell she didn’t need to be convinced of what type of character we were dealing with. I was going to miss that old woman!
“I can smooth things over with Derrick,” I offered. Brock’s face turned to rage, and I glared. “He obviously has a thing for me, and if I can keep him from filing for visitation somewhere else, that’s best for Jeremy.” Brock couldn’t deny what I was saying was the truth, but his scowl told me how against it he was.
“You shouldn’t have to do that, but until we have a better plan, I guess we ain’t got much of a choice,” Brock admitted. That was more reasonable than I expected him to be, and my eyes widened. “Don’t look at me that way, woman. I hate it enough without you making me feel worse.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. It’s the smart thing to do. We’ve got to put our heads together until the courts make Jeremy legally yours.” I wished with everything I had in me I could stay around and share in the joy with him when that day came.
“Letting my woman pacify some piece of sh—” he paused before finishing the curse, looking at his mother apologetically “—crap makes me feel like less of a man.”
“You can worry about your pride later, son. Right now, taking care of that little guy is your top priority.”
Brock couldn’t argue with Mary when her words were honest. With a stiff nod. He turned to Frank. “I want all the hands here later this afternoon. We need to make sure that everything is planned out perfectly.” Looking my way first and then to his mom, Brock continued, “I know this is last-minute notice, but we need to get something in their bellies if we want their full attention. I was thinking we could pick up food in town?”
“Don’t be crazy,” Mary responded. “Those boys will start a rebellion if it’s not home-cooked. Your dad can have a cow slaughtered and heat up the grill. I’m sure the girls and I can throw together some sides to keep them satisfied.” Mary seemed sure it was doable. I wasn’t convinced.
“Um . . . How ma
ny men are we talking about?” I remembered Mary telling me there were a hundred of them but some were seasonal, and I didn’t know how that worked. I had no idea how to cook for that many people!
“We’ve called them all in, so right now about a hundred and two. Don’t worry, I’ve done this before.” She laughed boisterously, and I let my fears ease. There was no doubt she could do anything she put her mind to. “We’d better get started now.”
“I’m trusting your judgment,” I said. “Let me make that phone call, and we can get started.” Brock was ready to take me over his knee. I could see it in his eyes. Suddenly the idea of letting him do that wasn’t so demeaning. There was something about knowing you were going to lose someone you love that made you wish you could share all the new things you’d never have.
I ran off upstairs before he could give me any more of those heated looks. I had to call the man I was growing to hate more by the second. Derrick picked up on the first ring and didn’t seemed to be surprised to be getting a call from me. “Finally ready to be reasonable, I guess?” he said.
His words made me want to kick him in the nuts, but I held my temper in check. How was I going to sell this lie? I sucked at being deceitful. “I realized today that you were right. Brock can’t be the man I need him to be.” Even saying the words made me feel like the lowest piece of scum. Brock was a million times the man Derrick could be.
“I get that some women like that uneducated, backwoods type, but I never thought you’d go there. Do they even have the Internet out there?” The censure in Derrick’s voice reminded me of how I felt the first day I’d come to the ranch. It seemed like a long time ago now. It really hadn’t been, though.
“If you want to call it that. They use satellite.” Remembering how my sister would disrespect anyone who didn’t come from the same lifestyle we did, I tried to slip into that character. It wasn’t a positive memory of her, and I felt guilty for using it.
“I bet you’re dying for some culture again.” He didn’t know me at all, or maybe I was learning that those things didn’t matter anymore. “Seriously, Dana, did you think you could live out on a place like that? I mean, the building potential is great, but they lack everything that makes life worth living.”
This was the smooth-talking man I knew he could be. He was trying to pacify me and put me in the right position to go in for the kill. I wasn’t sure it wasn’t literal. “I was just being silly. Honestly, I’m ready to go home,” I replied. I so wasn’t, but I knew he’d buy whatever lie I told him.
“I don’t doubt it. So let’s work together and take care of the cowboy. It shouldn’t be hard to come up with an idea to fix this shit.” The little turd had the audacity to laugh, and I wanted to punch him in the gut!
“I’m sure you’re right,” I agreed. “I can play him a little longer, but I’m really tired of this. How long do you think it will take before we get a court date?” Every sick word that slipped past my lips made me nauseous.
“Damn, baby, you’re so much different than your sister. I practically had to threaten her to get anything done. I think we’re going to be one hell of a team.” Derrick’s laughter made me want to grind my teeth. I knew Danielle hadn’t wanted the life he’d led her into, but she wasn’t strong enough to walk away. She was probably going to haunt me for the rest of my life because of what I was going to do to save this family.
“I did go to business school. Just remember that I expect to be treated as an equal if we’re going to have a relationship. That crap you pulled with Danielle won’t work with me. We’ll be partners,” I asserted. The last thing I wanted to do was be anything with this man!
“You were always the smart one. I can deal with that. For now, you just keep feeling out the rancher. We’ll play along with visitation on his terms until I get what I want.” Derrick’s ego was so big, he thought I wanted this. I knew he would buy into my lies. It was too easy.
“I’ve been thinking about that. I know Jeremy is Danielle’s kid, but being a mother wasn’t something I planned on. I wanted a career before I thought about having a family. Maybe we should just leave him with his father?” I was going to be struck down by lighting any second now.
Derrick paused for a long time, and I thought maybe I’d overplayed my hand.
“You’d be willing to let him go?” He sounded incredulous, and he had every right to be. If he knew me better, he’d know that nothing on this earth would keep me and the little man apart.
“I’d still want to visit him occasionally. I mean, he is family, but full-time? These last three months have made me wonder if I ever want kids of my own. You won’t hold that against me, will you?” I put enough poutiness into my voice that I felt like a well-paid prostitute.
“Of course not, baby. Truth is, I really wasn’t ready for that shit myself,” Derrick admitted. “Danielle getting knocked up ruined her body, and she never wanted sex after that.”
This man was a real piece of work. I had no idea how I was supposed to pretend to want him.
“So, how do you want to play this?” I wanted this conversation over. I wasn’t going to be able to live with this.
“I’ll come up with something. You just go back to playing house, and I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.
Thankful that at least this part was over, I agreed, and he hung up. He’d bought every word. I was worthy of winning an Oscar for my acting skills, and I’m not sure that said anything good about me.
I forced myself to walk back downstairs after I lost the contents of my stomach, Mary kept me busy for the next three hours while Brock took care of Jeremy. Thankfully he didn’t ask how the conversation had gone, because I thought my quota for lying was full for the rest of my natural life!
CHAPTER TEN
More Than Love
Brock
It was hard to keep my concentration where it needed to be when with every hour that passed Dana was fitting more into my ideal of the perfect woman. She didn’t get overwhelmed while helping my mom, sister, and a few dozen girlfriends of my ranch hands as they brought a huge feast to life. She laughed easily with them, made friends instantly, and even seemed to be enjoying herself while doing it.
Jeremy was enjoying being a taste tester, and if I had to guess I’d say he loved being surrounded by all the women. He was my son, after all. He instantly had them all wrapped around his fingers, and during breaks, he was passed around, flirting without even trying. Occasionally I’d catch Dana catching my eye, and there was so much emotion in her looks I wanted to sneak her away upstairs and have my way with her. I hoped she wanted to make love tonight. The thought of waiting was killing me, even though I’d do it to make her happy.
Outside, the men set up long wooden tables and tents that we used for our normal gatherings. Those not working the horses, cows, or farm all pitched in. I normally loved these gatherings, but wished tonight was happening for a different reason. I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that Dana was right, and I’d been a stubborn fool. With these men on our side, I knew we could prevent any storm.
Six large charcoal grills had been brought in, and my dad had to say we were having a cook-off. He was a bit of a competition freak. Usually it was good-natured fun. Pop always said a little friendly rivalry kept you on your toes.
There was enough baked beans, baked potatoes, and salads to feed any army by the time the women and guys started hauling out the grub. The steaks were flying off the grill as tables were loaded to the max with all our crew. Pop gave the normal prayer, and every head bowed as the food was blessed. My family sat at the table at the front of the tent, and I glanced over the incredible group of people who kept this place running.
Ranger, my youngest brother, had brought a totally unsuitable date, and I could see my mother sending him the look as the young woman babbled on without stopping. This wasn’t a place to bring a woman outside the family, and he damn well knew it. I was going to dress him down when business was over. That little woman was
known for being one of the biggest players in town. Who he dipped his wick in one was one thing, but you didn’t bring her home. A little respect needed to be taught.
The meal was great, even at short notice, but having Dana so close to me made food the last thing on my mind. My knee rubbed against hers under the table, and that little tremble she gave was precious. Inching as close to her as I could, I staked my claim. I couldn’t wait to love every inch of her beautiful body. Mom smacked me lightly on the back of the head, indicating my action hadn’t gone unnoticed. I grinned at her ruefully. Dana bit back a smile.
When the group stopped feeding like a bunch of cows, I stood up and got everyone’s attention. I banged lightly on a Mason jar with my spoon, and all eyes turned my way. I began to explain the issue and how we were going to rectify it, and questions started pouring out until I held up a hand. “One at a time. I can’t answer you together.”
“So do we have the right to shoot if any unauthorized person drives on the land?” Michael asked. He’d left the service after four years to come work for us, and I’d expected him to ask something along those lines.
“Not unless a weapon is drawn on you first,” I replied. “I know trespassing is a defendable offense, but I don’t want this to turn into a bloodshed. You see someone who doesn’t belong here, ask them to leave unless they are holding a weapon, then use your own judgment.”
That seemed like the logical answer, but apparently Travis didn’t think so. “Use that head for something other than a hat rack, Michael.” Travis tipped back the brim on his Stetson as he stood, looking pointedly at the man. “Unless he poses a threat to you, don’t take aim.”
That started a heated debate on what property means and how you can defend it, and I sat down, letting Pop and Travis deal with it. When things had calmed down, I spoke about the shifts Frank had already made known. There were a few grunts over the extra workload, but in the end, a schedule was worked out. I felt we’d covered everything and was ready to get Jeremy to bed since he looked ready to fall over in his high chair. Levi was already fast asleep in Susan’s arms.
Cowboy Sanctuary (The Dixon Ranch) Page 13
