by Ari McKay
As much as Dane wanted to believe he could make a choice—especially one as big as this—he knew it was just a fantasy. Since birth, he had been taught that his duty as the only Coulter son was to please his father. Randolph shut down any attempt Dane made to assert his own wants and needs until Dane gave up and gave in. He’d spent his life twisting himself out of shape to fit into the box that Randolph wanted him in, and it was a miracle he hadn’t broken completely. He’d given up his own dreams and desires in favor of bending to his father’s will until he wasn’t even sure he had any fight left in him anymore.
“No, I don’t have a choice. Not really. The fallout from breaking the engagement alone….” Dane shook his head, not even wanting to think about what a misery his life would become if he defied Randolph in such a way.
But Cal didn’t seem ready to accept that. “The problem is that he’s beat you down for so many years, you just can’t see a way out anymore.” He stroked Dane’s cheek with one finger. “I know it doesn’t help that he’s homophobic as hell, but he’s not invincible, either. He’s just a man. A bitter, hateful man who only cares about himself. I’m not a violent person, but I want to kill him for what he’s done to you.”
Dane looked down at his hands, his stomach knotting with shame. He wouldn’t blame Cal for getting tired of his weakness and cowardice and walking away.
“I wish I was as strong and brave as you are,” he said. “But I’m not. He’s powerful and ruthless. He let my sisters go, but he’d never let me go. Not his only son. He’d find a way to bring me back in line.”
And that way, Dane suspected, would be through his mother.
With a sigh, Cal moved closer and wrapped his arms around Dane, pulling him into a comforting embrace. “We’ll figure something out. I know you’re afraid, and honestly, it’s not baseless. Your father has been involved in some unsavory dealings. But he’s not going to win this time.”
Dane couldn’t remember the last time he’d been hugged, much less held, by anyone other than his mother. Despite being engaged, he’d avoided physical intimacy with Portia beyond a few kisses. Now he was in Cal’s arms, where he most wanted to be, and he couldn’t bring himself to push Cal away, not when Cal’s warm, solid strength offered such comfort. Instead, he allowed himself the luxury of leaning his head on Cal’s broad shoulder while he had the chance.
“I wish you wouldn’t go after him,” Dane said. “I don’t want to see you get hurt personally or professionally, especially not because of me.”
“There is nothing your father can do that would hurt me, except hurting you,” Cal replied. He stroked Dane’s back, his hands warm through the fabric of Dane’s shirt. “I’ve avoided getting involved up until now only because I’d never told you how I felt, and I didn’t want to make your life more difficult than it already was. But I don’t think you have anything to lose at this point if I can pull his focus off you and maybe damage him enough to have leverage to make him back down.”
“He’ll try to undermine your reputation and snipe your clients,” Dane said. “He’s ruined people’s careers before.”
“I’m not worried.” Cal’s voice was full of confidence. “Remember, he’s the one who’s suffered for going after me. The media doesn’t like him because he’s abused them, which is why there was so much negative publicity when he insulted me. I’ve had lots of experience with men like your father. He won’t be able to hold his temper in check, and that’s a weakness that can be exploited.”
As much as Dane wanted to believe Cal could defeat Randolph, he wasn’t convinced it would be as easy as Cal made it sound, and he released a long, heavy sigh. “Just promise you’ll be careful.”
“Trust me, I will.” Cal pulled back slightly, looking down at Dane with a smile curving his lips, his green eyes warm with affection. “I consider any risk I take to help you get free of him to be worth it. You are worth everything, Dane. If you wanted, I’d leave my firm, and New York, and run off with you anywhere you wanted to go.”
Dane gazed at Cal, almost overcome by the wild impulse to say yes, he wanted that. Part of him was still trying to process that Cal loved him and wanted to protect him from Randolph, but another part of him wanted nothing more than to accept everything Cal was offering and damn the consequences.
“You have no idea how tempting that is,” he said.
Cal moved a hand, cradling Dane’s face. “But not quite tempting enough?” he asked softly. His gaze moved to Dane’s mouth, and Cal leaned forward, pressing his lips to Dane’s in a tender kiss.
Dane had never felt a flare of arousal so strong and hot from a simple kiss before. Hell, he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt this aroused during sex. If he’d had any lingering doubts about his sexuality, they were banished by the sheer overwhelming force of his desire for Cal. He knew he ought to push Cal away, but instead he slid his arms around Cal’s broad shoulders and drew him closer.
Cal gave a low growl of approval that rumbled deep in his chest as he pulled Dane hard against his body. He slid his hand into Dane’s hair, brushing his tongue against Dane’s lips as though asking for permission. Dane parted his lips eagerly, heat kindling in his belly as he awaited his first taste of Cal. Without hesitation Cal deepened the kiss, taking control and exploring Dane’s mouth. He twined his tongue with Dane’s, taking his time, seeming to want to discover exactly how Dane liked to be kissed. Dane relaxed against Cal and gave himself over to the kiss, unable to hold back a moan of pleasure. He had learned at a young age to build protective walls, and being caught in Randolph’s iron fist had left him wary of giving up control to anyone else, but he felt safe with Cal.
The moan seemed to release something within Cal, and his lips became more demanding. He seemed determined to steal Dane’s breath and his heart, as kiss flowed into kiss, each growing hotter and hungrier. But as much as Dane wanted to surrender to Cal completely, he couldn’t. He still feared Randolph’s retribution would be aimed at Diana. She was already in fragile health. Her heart had always been weak due to a congenital defect, and the strain of multiple pregnancies hadn’t helped. But Randolph had refused to stop until he had the son he wanted, and Dane felt both protective of and responsible for Diana because of it.
He drew back with reluctance and put some necessary space between himself and Cal. “I can’t,” he whispered.
Cal’s face was flushed, and he drew in a deep breath before managing a crooked smile. “I know,” he replied. “At least you aren’t saying you don’t want to, right?”
With anyone else, Dane might try to obfuscate, but Cal deserved the unvarnished truth. “I do want to,” he said, lifting his gaze to meet Cal’s. “I could fall for you so easily, but I can’t, and you deserve someone who isn’t weak and broken and who can love you without fear.”
“You’re neither weak nor broken,” Cal said, his tone brooking no argument. “If you were, you’d never have stood up to Randolph over our friendship. You’re stronger than you know, and I’m willing to bet that when the time comes that you’ve had enough, your father is going to be surprised at how you fight back.”
It was a nice idea, but Dane thought Cal was overestimating him. “We’ll see,” he said.
“We will indeed.” Cal sat back, regarding Dane somberly. “It occurs to me, your father might take his anger with me out on you. If he confronts you or tries to blame you for my actions, I think you should tell him we’re not friends any longer. That way he has no reason to make you even more miserable.”
Dane’s stomach clenched at the thought of losing Cal, who was the only person he trusted completely, other than his mother. “But we are still friends, aren’t we?”
Cal reached out, taking one of Dane’s hands in his and squeezing it. “Of course we are! You aren’t getting rid of me. Even if you didn’t want me, I’d still be your friend. Even if you can’t find a way to get away from your father, I’ll still be here for you. I’ve been in love with you almost since the moment we met. I was prepared to
wait as long as I had to for you, Dane. I still am, even if that means forever.”
Awash in relief, Dane squeezed Cal’s hand in return, and in that moment, he wished more than anything that he was worthy of a man like Cal.
“I’m selfish,” he said, his lips twisting in a mirthless smile. “I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend. My only real friend. But I want you to be happy too. If you get tired of waiting, I’ll understand.”
“I’m almost forty, and you’re the first man I’ve ever been in love with,” Cal replied, shaking his head. “I haven’t even had a lover in over two years, because all I could do was compare them to you, and they always came up wanting. You’re worth waiting for—and fighting for.”
Dane gnawed on his bottom lip as he fought to hold back the tears stinging his eyelids. Memories of Randolph’s endless criticism rose up in his mind, but he fought them down by focusing on Cal. He didn’t think he was worth waiting for or fighting for—but he wanted to be.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice a rough whisper because he didn’t trust it at normal levels yet.
Smiling, Cal leaned in to press his lips to Dane’s cheek. “I’m the one who should be thanking you. I was beginning to believe there was something wrong with me, that maybe I was too work obsessed or my standards were too high. Then you walked into my life, and I knew I’d finally found the right man for me. I’m not giving up on you, no matter what.”
Dane didn’t want Cal to give up on him, no matter how selfish that might be. Cal was the right man for him too, and he wanted to be as strong as Cal thought he was. Maybe it was time to get some outside help. Randolph thought therapy was useless, and he would throw a fit if he found out Dane was seeing a therapist—especially for the purpose of helping Dane escape—but maybe Dane could keep it a secret.
“You’ve helped me stay sane these past two years,” Dane said, squeezing Cal’s hand again. “I do owe you thanks for that, at least.”
“Well….” Cal pretended to consider it, but Dane was used to his teasing. “Okay. We both owe each other, how about that? And we’re in this together.”
“Agreed,” Dane said, giving Cal a tiny smile. He didn’t know how realistic it was to think they could be together, but he liked the sound of it.
Cal brushed his thumb across Dane’s lower lip. “I wish you had more reasons to smile.”
“I hope one day I will,” Dane said.
“So do I.” With a sigh, Cal rose to his feet. “I should get going. I’m sure you’re expected to put in an appearance with your fiancée today, right?” He grimaced. “I’m going to go home and think about the best approach for dealing with your father. I don’t want to wreck Coulter and Coulter if I don’t have to. You have some fine attorneys working for you, ones who don’t know what I know about Randolph.”
Dane stood up as well, although he was reluctant to let Cal go. With Cal, he felt like he was a normal man leading a normal life, but as soon as Cal was gone, reality would barge back in. But he and Portia were expected for Sunday lunch with his parents, and he needed to start getting ready.
“Will you be in touch at all or should I not contact you for a while?” he asked.
Cal reached for his leather jacket, and he shrugged into it before resting his hands on Dane’s shoulders. “Of course I’ll be in touch, and you can contact me whenever you want. The pretense is just for your father, so he won’t have a reason to make you suffer for anything I do. Tell him….” Cal paused, considering, and then smiled evilly. “Tell him I flounced off in a huff or something. Whatever you think will work best to make him believe you bear no responsibility for my actions. That ought to lull the old bastard into a sense of complacency and keep him off your back.”
“Will do.” Dane gnawed on his bottom lip again, and then he mustered his courage and craned up to brush a kiss on Cal’s cheek. “Please be careful.”
Cal drew in a breath at the kiss, his expression full of surprised pleasure. “Don’t worry about me,” he said, tightening his grip on Dane’s shoulders for a moment before releasing him. “I can take anything your father can dish out.”
“I hope so.” Dane made himself step away from Cal. “Let me know how it goes, okay?”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll hear all about it,” Cal said. He zipped up his jacket. “I’ll try to warn you if I can.”
Dane walked with Cal to the door, his mind crowded with warnings, but it wasn’t anything Cal didn’t already know or that Dane hadn’t already said. He was afraid for Cal, but Cal was stubborn and wouldn’t be swayed once he’d made up his mind about something. Instead, Dane clasped Cal’s upper arm and squeezed, wanting the contact and closeness as much as he wanted to offer it.
Cal opened the door. “Take care of yourself,” he said softly. With a final smile he stepped out, closing the door behind himself.
Dane wanted to fling open the door and call Cal back, but he made himself go into the bedroom instead. He had a lunch with his parents and fiancée to attend, although he’d never wanted to see his father less. He didn’t know what Cal had planned, and he wasn’t convinced whatever it was would work, but if his father hurt Cal in any way, he suspected that might well be the thing that broke him.
Chapter Two
CAL LOOKED up from the brief he was reading when his phone chimed, indicating an incoming text message. A quick glance at the screen made him smile grimly. His enemy was on the move, and it was time for him to begin his campaign to ruin Randolph Coulter’s life.
After leaving Dane’s apartment the previous day, Cal had walked the streets for a long time, considering his options. He understood why Dane found it so difficult to break free from Randolph’s control. It wasn’t just the psychological damage Randolph had inflicted on his son, or the guilt Dane would feel at leaving his mother to bear the brunt of Randolph’s wrath. Dane hadn’t known how Cal felt about him, had no reason to believe that there was anyone who would fight for him or beside him. Dane saw his father exactly as Randolph wanted him to see him, as a man who was strong and ruthless, and who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. Dane had thirty-four years of Randolph’s conditioning to overcome, and that wasn’t going to happen overnight, unfortunately. But knowing that Dane wanted him gave Cal all the impetus he needed to fight, and Randolph Coulter was going to learn that Cal wasn’t weak just because he happened to be gay.
He’d donned his suit that morning with a certain amount of grim amusement. Since he was headed to court in the afternoon, he’d chosen a dark, carefully tailored three-piece suit that emphasized the width of his shoulders and narrowness of his hips. But instead of a conservative dark tie, he wore what he’d once jokingly described to Dane as his “war plaid.” It was the red, green, and black tartan of Clan Munro, topped off with a silver tie tack that proudly depicted the clan’s war eagle symbol. Cal only wore the tie when he was serious about a fight, because it reminded him of his bloody-minded Highland ancestors who’d given the English hell for centuries.
He quickly logged out of his computer and stood, retrieving his briefcase and overcoat before heading out of the office. The courthouse was only a short distance away from his office, and from the court docket he’d known Randolph was arguing a case that morning. It had been an easy matter to ask the bailiff for the case—a man he’d known for years—to let him know when Randolph departed the courtroom, and now Cal was going to wait for Randolph to enter the lobby of their building, to make a very public declaration of war.
He spoke briefly to his secretary, then made his way to the elevator lobby. When the car arrived, he was surprised to see Dane inside. He entered quickly, wondering if fate was somehow smiling on his plan. It was one thing for him to confront Randolph, but even better for Dane to be able to see it.
They were alone in the car, and Cal made a sudden decision. He reached past Dane and flipped the toggle that set the car from Run to Stop. The elevator abruptly ceased its downward motion.
He regarded Dane for a mome
nt, noting the lines of strain on Dane’s face. Of course, Dane often looked stressed, which was another bit of Randolph’s doing. Offering Dane a smile, he stepped closer. “Hey. How are you doing?”
Dane’s answering smile was sweet and shy as he glanced sidelong at Cal. “I’m okay. How about you?” he asked, a hint of worry creeping into his voice.
It was all Cal could do not to drop his briefcase and pull Dane into his arms. Now that he’d told Dane how he felt, he didn’t want to maintain the careful distance he’d kept for the past two years. He wanted to hold Dane and soothe the line from between his eyes, to kiss him and tell him everything was going to be all right. But he told himself that now wasn’t the time; Dane didn’t need another man making demands on him that he wasn’t ready for and might not welcome.
“I’m fine. Preparing for battle,” he said, his smile turning hard. “I’m on my way to take on your father. Since you’re here too, I wanted to warn you, so you wouldn’t be blindsided.”
Dane’s eyes widened in alarm, and he touched Cal’s arm lightly. “Are you sure you want to go through with this? I don’t want you or your career to suffer because of me.”
Cal reached up to cover Dane’s hand with his own, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. “I absolutely want to go through with it. I haven’t changed my mind, Dane. I love you, and I’m going to fight for you. I’m going to show you that your father can be beaten.”
Dane gnawed on his bottom lip. “I hope you’re right,” he said softly. “I’m not sure I could live with myself if something happened to you. It would be my fault.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” Cal moved his hand, running his fingers over Dane’s cheek in a brief, gentle caress. “I’m making this decision, right? You aren’t forcing me. You didn’t even ask me to do anything. By rights, you could be angry at me for butting into your life. I hope you aren’t, but either way, nothing that happens is your fault. I meant what I said, Dane. The only thing your rat bastard of a father can do to hurt me is hurt you.”
