by P J Gilbers
We sat at a small glass table next to the koi pond. It was quiet, peaceful. I tried not to gulp the food down but I was incredibly hungry. My hand shook a bit even though I struggled to calm it.
“Sam,” Jack said, “why are you so hungry?”
“Sorry. Missed lunch.”
He shook his head at me. It felt scary to talk to him like this, like going home from a date with your shirt buttoned wrong.
“And breakfast and dinner and lunch. Tell me the truth, Sam. You have been hungry for days. I can tell.”
Tears burned, threatening to escape.
“I’ve only been here a few weeks. I just started working and I don’t get paid until Friday. So, I’ve been skimping a bit. Friday I’ll be flush, though.”
“Obviously, I have a bit of money. Would you please take a small loan…or a gift…just to get by?” He reached for his wallet.
“It’s really nice of you and I appreciate dinner, but I can’t. My parents died when I was seventeen. I put myself through school. I always make it on my own. I’ll be fine, really. But, thank you.”
He poured me a glass of wine.
“Well, offer stands. Now, enjoy this beautiful sunset. Almost as beautiful as the company.”
I looked up at the sky.
“Sunset. Oh, my Lord. I’ve got to go. Thanks for dinner. Tell Sarah thank you. It was wonderful, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I was so embarrassed. I felt like a fool. I hurried into the house gathered my bag, and darted out the door. On the porch I stopped and glanced around before heading for my car.
I saw Fritz watching from the window and I waved.
When the sun was fading as I parked I had to force myself not to utter the scream in my throat or to run full speed at my door. I’d never been out this late since I’d moved.
The thread was at the top of the door right where I’d left it this morning. My hands trembled as night nipped at my back.
I clamped the door alarm on, slid down the wall and sobbed.
“I found her,” Oscar said. There was no excitement in his voice. “She’s working at ProfessionalPlus and she’s living in Van Nuys. No phone. Same car that she bought in St Louis before she left.”
He gave Robert the address..
“Damn! I knew you’d do it. Come on, I’m going to buy you a steak dinner. And a beer. Or a carrot juice if you want.”
Oscar smiled.
"Don't smile like that. You look like a fucking porcupine when you smile. Dumb shit."
Eddie stood up but Robert pushed him back.
“Why can’t I go?”
“’Cause you didn’t do nothing for me today. Now fuck off. Or fuck yourself. Whatever you pre-fer.”
Oscar and Robert were walking out when they saw a white face in the mirror.
"Did you see that?" Robert asked Oscar.
Oscar nodded, eyes glued open.
"Weren't probably nothin'. Let's get the fuck out of here," Robert said.
"Take me with you, man. Come on, " Eddie was whining. Robert held the door shut and laughed as he screamed.
Thursday
Thursday morning I went into the office again.
“He called this morning,” Stella sat at her desk checking her new hair color in her mirror.
“Oh?” That tiny butterfly of excitement was flittering around my stomach.
“He’s requesting your services over the weekend. He explained that he has to get back filming as soon as possible. And he needs you.” She made kissing noises.
"What should I do?"
“It’s up to you. He’s private pay so he can do what he wants. And you want.”
The butterflies multiplied.
“I do need the money, Lord knows. And it’s not like my social life is booked. Sure.”
For a change I was fifteen minutes early to Jack’s.
He was in his office, a room I hadn’t been in yet. He sat at a large glass desk and was talking to someone named John. He was surrounded by overflowing bookcases with ornate glass doors and to his left was a white life-sized statue of a mermaid. Somehow the mermaid was no surprise. I wondered about her and Tonto.
“….On a horse. You are insane. Absolutely insane. It’ll be weeks before I’m hopping up on any four legged creatures. What do they call them? Adumlas. Right. Whatever planet they come from they still have to be climbed up on, right? How the hell am I supposed to do…”
There was a long pause and Jack drained his glass.
He pointed at a tray with lemonade, sandwiches, and melon.
I brought it to him.
“Have some,” he whispered.
I sat on the corner of his desk and took a sandwich. We were suddenly like old friends on a lazy summer day.
He rubbed his forehead.
“Yes, maybe by next week I can come in and do some shots. Sitting. John…it was your horse, remember?...Here, tell my foot to heal faster.”
He held the phone out to the air then hung up.
“Sammy, sweetheart. I’m sorry. They’re driving me nuts. I know…short drive.“
He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.
I took another bite of the sandwich then took the cigar out of his hand, putting it out in his drink glass.
“I take it you haven’t eaten.”
He took a bite of sandwich.
“There, I’ve eaten.”
“Ice?”
“With my scotch.”
“Ooooh. You are in a tizzy. Your ankle? Any ice?”
“No.”
“Okay, in bed, or in the recliner.”
“Yeah, you women are all the same. All you want is sex, sex, sex. Alright, let’s get it over with.” He opened one eye and grinned.
I tried to hide a smile. In the kitchen Fritz was sitting at the breakfast bar with a laptop.
“You know, I have an office, I have my place out back, but I always seem to end up in the kitchen.” He dunked his cookie in his coffee. “I suppose it’s because that’s where the food is. Sarah’s food. Chocolate chunk with roasted almonds. Cookie?”
Ted watched intently from the scrap of wind he was riding.
"I like this guy," he mumbled and took a small pinch of dust out of his pocket. He threw it at them.
"Shazaam!" He laughed and floated higher.
I shook my head but took a cookie anyway.
He watched in silence with that same there's-more-to-the-story smile and the urge to rip his clothes off came over me again.
"Man, hot in here."
He smiled.
"Strange, I'm cool. I got some big bags of frozen peas as you prescribed.”
“Thanks, Fritz. Holy cow, is he in a mood today.”
“The studio wants him back on set. Now. And the director’s an ass. Everyday filming stops they are hemorrhaging money. Big time.“
I took another cookie. He wiped a spot of chocolate off my face with his finger.
First touch.
I don't know why that came into my head, I guess because I'd wanted a touch. Not necessarily to remove food particles dangling attractively from my face.
He handed me the frozen peas and another scotch. I handed him the drink back.
“Here I go, spreading sunshine…” I danced out of the room making him laugh.
Next to a wall of arched windows sat a large leather recliner. Jack was settling in.
“Wow. Your toes look like little purple grapes. You have had your leg down all day, haven’t you?”
“ ‘ Lord, what fools these mortals be!’”
“A Midsummer Night’s Dream. We did the production in high school. And you can quote Shakespeare but you’re still in trouble.” I positioned the bag of peas under his knee. “Wiggle your toes. We were going to work on the stairs but not tonight. And since there’s nothing more for me to do, Daffy, I will be off.”
“Whoa. Not so fast. How long does the ice need to be there?”
“At least twenty minutes.”
“Great. Hand me those script
s off the desk. Sit down, drink your lemonade, I’ll have a scotch…”
I shook my head.
Gabrielle and Ted and the Simmons were on the fourth green. Gabrielle touched the ground and it parted revealing a perfect view of Jack and Sam.
"Look, they're so cute together. Wonder what the wedding dress will look like. I think I'll give them just a little booster."
"Gabby… they've met, you've done your thing, now let it go! I still like Fritz. Military man, could protect her, and he's crazy about her."
"How do you know?"
He grinned. "Just a little physiological response he has when she gets around him. He wants her…"
"Oh, my. I'm not watching when they have sex like I did when she was in college. It was just like those terrible carwrecks, you just can't look away."
He put his arms around her and kissed her. "Just watch me, you sexy wench. I think I'm having one of those physiological experiences… God, I love heaven."
He touched the ground with his golf club and it closed, just as Gabrielle threw another handful of dust over them from behind her back.
“I’ll have a lemonade and you can help me pick out my next movie deal. I know that I’m your last patient of the day. Fritz is ordering Chinese. Every Thursday, like clockwork, he orders Chinese, so you have to stay.”
I brought the scripts and tray of food over to a table next to him then drew up an ottoman to sit beside him.
“How’s the pain?”
“Not bad. Getting better all the time.”
I knew he was lying.
I grinned at him and thumbed through the scripts.
Finally I held up the second script.
“This one is by far more interesting and it holds together in the middle better. Anyone can write a beginning and an end, but the middle…that’s the hardest. I can see you in this, I really can.“
“Could it be, my dear Sam, that you are a writer?”
“Well…sort of. A bit. Actually that’s one of the reasons I moved here was to take a few classes at UCLA.”
He looked at me as he took a sip of his lemonade. It wasn't a friendly look, but more of a I'm-going-to-crown-your-king look.
“And you moved from…”
“Kansas City,” I lied. I had so many lies, so many names, I was beginning to have trouble remembering who I had told what.
“That’s right. You moved because…”
“Just wanted a change. Needed a change. Saw this job online and I thought I’d really love it.”
He nodded. He suspected. My toes were curling in my tight shoes.
The phone rang again. Someone was yelling at Jack and Jack was yelling back. I packed up my things, checked his foot and started to sneak out the door.
He put the phone down.
“Sam. Don’t leave.”
“I’ll just let myself out.” I looked at the sky, dusk was coming. My throat tightened.
For some reason I turned and hugged him. I wasn’t sure why. He gave me a big hug in return, snuggling his face into my neck.
I often gave my patients hugs but…they were usually in their eighties. Or nineties.
And they weren't Jack Nolan.
“Thanks for the food. You don’t have to keep feeding me, though,” I whispered.
He reached up and brushed a hair out of my eyes.
His jaw was set. I hadn't seen that before. His smile was gone. Storm clouds swirled in his dark eyes.
“See you tomorrow,” I whispered and handed him back his phone.
"Good fucking job, Oscar."Robert hit him on the back. He almost fell over. "Three doors down from her. Good fucking job."
They moved in after dark in practiced silence.
At a quarter past eleven Robert put on a long wig and a beat up jacket. He went outside and stood across the street from her apartment. He saw her walk past her window.
"I could get her now if I wanted to but I know how I want it," he mumbled to the sky." I need her out of that apartment. If she screamed I'd have to kill her…people would hear in these shitty paper-walled apartments. And she is so beautiful. I'm gonna take her on a real date, like a restaurant. And she'll kiss me. And I'll bring her flowers. And she'll laugh. And I'll take her to bed. I'll watch her now, keep her safe, wherever she goes…"
Ted watched, keeping it from Gabrielle.
"He's not getting her this time. She's been through enough." He floated down, only a sprinkle of light in the darkness, and hovered behind Robert. He sunk into the back of Robert's neck for yet anoher headache.
Robert rubbed his neck and leaned against a pole, watching her window as the light went out. "Good night my Lilith."
Friday
Stella called.
“Your first three patients cancelled. Jones and McSweeney both went back in the hospital and Everest is going out to lunch with his daughter. So you’ve just got you know who.”
“And today’s payday, right?”
“Oh yes, the check probably went into your checking account last night. Rich for a day!”
I hung up. I could feel my shoulders relax. Money. Finally.
“Shopping!," I said to the air. "Now I can check out that second-hand boutique.”
I walked past three large car lots on the way and then a low row of old, stucco buildings with matching pink awnings.
The first was a methadone clinic, the second a law office, and then, the tiniest of all, was “The House of Zuria, Psychic Readings, Tarot, and Spiritual Connections with Those Beyond. $20 for first reading.“
I don't know if I was feeling bored, or curious but for some reason my feet seemed heavy, sunk into the concrete before her door. I never believed in this stuff. I believed in empirical evidence. Not vapor and wishes. But Mom had.
“Twenty bucks. I can spend twenty bucks on a bit of fun.” I decided my rationalization worked. It was just "fun."
I went in. The room was dark, the walls painted shiny brown. In the middle of the room was a small table with three chairs. It was covered with layered silk cloths, all of varying shades of purple. But no crystal ball.
An elderly woman came from the back. She was dressed in a white flowing blouse and a full white embroidered skirt. Her hair, snow white, was cut in a stylish short frame around her soft face. She looked ethereal.
“Hello, my dear. Sorry to keep you waiting…please sit. Just got off the phone with my son. His wife is expecting twins. It’s a girl and a boy but I didn’t want to tell him.”
“How many children do you have?”
“A daughter in Alaska. And my son in New York. And three babies waiting for me to cross.”
“You lost three babies?”
“Never lost. Just not here in this life. I knew you were coming today…and I don’t say that to everyone. You are someone with a name with dual meaning, yes?”
“I’m Samantha. Sam.”
“A man’s name, a woman’s name. Yes, I see. Sit down. Sit down. I’m Natasha. I just put Zuria out front because that’s my stage name. How are you today?”
“Good.”
“You’re lying to Natasha, but that’s okay. Do you have a question or just a general reading?”
I was surprised by her directness.
“I guess just general.”
She took my hands and stroked them over and over. Her hands were cool, loose bones held together with translucent skin.
“My dear, Sam. You have been through torture, haven’t you? Real torture. I see a knife. The psychological wounds are wide open and you live in fear. All the time, fear…fear. A man. A very sick man. Big man. Powerful. Close…close. Blood. I see him with blood.
"I feel ill when I look into his face. I feel his foul breath…close, so very close…close. His face is clear to you, in your nightmares. The blood…on his face, in his mouth. Your blood. He craves it now…all the time. So close…he is so close.
"He is everywhere…he is nowhere.
"Close.
"You see him…close…feel him�
�so very close…everywhere.”
She paused for a long time and I was choking. If only I could run. Why did I come here?
She stroked my hands.
“Your life is about to undergo tremendous change, change you never imagined for yourself. Most of it is wonderful. Two…no, three men. And you will have to choose one of them…"
"Three men will love me?"
"You will love them. They will love you. But this horrible man, the torturer…I’m afraid you will face him again.”
I yanked my hands away.
“No. You’re wrong.” I was powerless to stop the burning tears now.
“Do you think I’m wrong?”
“You must be…have to be…I traveled all across the country to get away from him.”
“Samantha, you are stronger than you realize. Stronger than you know. And most importantly, stronger than this devil who is following you…and who will find you.”
“No. I’ll move. Somewhere where he’ll never find me.”
Natasha sat silent in my gaze.
Gabrielle floated into the room through the ceiling, sitting next to her daughter, touching her hand.
“He’ll just keep coming, won’t he?”
Natasha looked away.
“But, you say I am stronger than he is. How? I couldn’t defeat him before.”
Natasha smiled, and sighed, suddenly looking very tired.
“Yes, my dear, you did. You lived! The love of others saved your life, didn’t it? Someone…an old, old man… saved you because he held you very dear.”
I nodded. “My neighbor. Mr. Berg.”
Natasha was silent and then took my hands again.
“Now I see. You have power in your hands and your heart. Those who know you love you. Very much.
"There is a…" she hesitated, turning her head to the side as if listening to a far off voice…"a spell cast on you. A hypnotic, demanding spell. "
Gabrielle was shaking her head. "No, don't tell her."
