The sound throbbed the veins in my groin.
“Talk to me,” I said. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“When I came out of the kids’ room,” she said, “I was thinking about a lot of things. The time we spend together. The kids. My life, in general. I kept thinking about how bold and wonderful I feel when I’m with you, and I started wondering if that was a good thing.”
“Do you not think it is?” I asked as I placed her foot down.
“No,” she said. “I don’t. At least, that’s my knee jerk reaction. I’ve never been not guarded with someone. Being guarded, it’s how I protect myself.”
“What are you protecting yourself from?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Hurt. Disappointment. Heartbreak.”
I picked up her other foot and began to massage it. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to respond. I felt like there was something she needed to get out and I didn’t want to ruin her train of thought. But I did understand. My partying ways weren’t how I always wanted to live my life, but it was the easiest way. If you throw lavish parties and pay for everything, people like you. No one in that arena turns down free shots or a good time. People were guaranteed to like me if I partied, so I never had to worry about the idea of rejection.
In my own way, the parties were how I guarded myself.
“I’m angry a lot,” Emma said.
“You don’t strike me as someone who’s angry,” I said.
“Not angry, in general. But angry at my circumstance. You know, it’s-”
She sighed, and I could tell she was getting frustrated with herself.
“Emma.”
“Yeah?”
“Just talk. You don’t have to phrase it well or watch your words with me. Just… talk.”
I set her foot down and rubbed her shins, hoping to get her to relax a bit. She needed to talk, and I wanted to give her the space to do that.
“I’m always angry at my life. There’s always something about it I don’t like. In high school, there was the bullying. The teasing. The jokes and stuff like that. I was the weird kid. The one who always wore hand-me-down clothes. I never owned the latest fashions or had the money to get my hair cut in all the cool ways. I didn’t have new shoes or any sort of makeup sense. And I got teased for it a lot.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Then, there was college. My first ever heartbreak. First time I dated, first time I kissed a guy. First time I’d had sex. I thought that man was sticking around forever. He supported me in my want to teach-”
“So you’ve always wanted to teach.”
“Oh yes. I’ve always loved it. Educating others. Especially kids. They’re so moldable and pliable. Those formative years are so important. I wanted to be a good role model for kids during those formidable years because I didn’t have many good role models.”
I felt like there was another story there, but I decided not to interrupt her again.
“Anyway, he was good to me. Not perfect, but he was good. And then I caught him screwing around with my roommate.”
“I’m so sorry, Emma.”
“Don’t be. It happened. I’m not the first girl it’s happened to and I certainly won’t be the last. But… that changed me. I became so guarded after that. Not letting anyone in. It took me months of crying and being angry at myself to get over him, and I decided it wasn’t worth it. Dating to try and find someone wasn’t worth those months of heartache and sleepless nights and rivers of tears in order to find some imperfect person to try and spend my time with.”
“I can see how you would come to that conclusion,” I said.
“So I threw myself into my work, right? Into my schooling. I aced all my classes, graduated with honors, and got my first job at Lawrence Day. They took me on as a new teacher, fresh out of college. And anywhere else in this country, I make a livable wage. Anywhere else, I could live just fine. But not here. Not in California. I’m drowning in student debt and living in a shoebox apartment that costs me close to four figures a month. I don’t turn the lights on unless I absolutely have to and I take cold showers to try and cut down on my electricity bill. I live paycheck to paycheck and I sometimes have to pick and choose which bills I pay and which I can afford to let hang out for a month before it does get paid. And I make a livable wage!”
My heart ached for her. So much on her plate, and by the sound of it she never talked to anyone about it.
“I’m sorry for dumping on you,” she said.
“I told you to do it. Don’t be sorry for it.”
“I just… that’s all that rattles around. I don’t have any solutions to any of it. Just problems that mount and issues that get harder to fix. And without a solution, I feel…”
“Stuck?” I asked.
Her head leaned up and her eyes temporarily connected with mine.
“Yeah,” Emma said. “Stuck is a good word for it.”
“It sounds like you want more control over your life. You know, instead of having it run by all these outside circumstances.”
“Yes. Sometimes I do feel like things are careening out of control. I think that’s why I control myself so much.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You know, keep it high and tight. My hair is always in place for work and my outfits don’t have wrinkles in them. Everything has a certain place in my life and it never gets moved out of place. I just… I control all of those idiotic aspects because I need something to latch onto. Something that bends to my will instead of me to it.”
“Do you feel out of control with me?” I asked.
Emma sighed, and I braced myself for the answer.
“I do,” she said. “I feel very out of control with you. But I don’t know how that makes me feel. I haven’t figured out if that’s a good or a bad thing yet.”
Emma sat up and dragged her feet away from me. She was putting distance between us, and I didn’t like it. She scooted herself to the edge of the couch and crossed her leg over her knee, her eyes staring off like they were a little while before. I scooted towards her, slowly closing the gap between us. She shot me a side-glance and drew in a deep breath, and I reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Let go, Emma,” I said with a whisper. “Just… let it all go.”
She panned her gaze towards mine and I saw tear brewing behind her eyes. Such a beautiful woman with a good, genuine soul, and she was so bogged down with life. With bills and loneliness and a job that didn’t pay her nearly what she deserved. With a home she didn’t enjoy calling home and a life she kept so tightly controlled it was suffocating her. Her eyes flickered to my lips and I slid my hand around behind her, cupping the base of her head and massaging her scalp.
“Let go,” I said again.
And then? She did.
Emma threw herself at me, our lips crashing together. My back hit the couch as our tongues collided and I parted my legs to accept the whole of her body. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, fisting her hair in the palm of my hand. She ground against me. Rolled her hips until my cock throbbed against her body.
I couldn’t get her close enough.
Even though Emma felt out of control with me, I couldn't help but feel as though I was the one truly careening out of control. My heart leapt when I saw her. My skin tingled when she touched me. My cock jumped to life at the mere mention of my hands running along her skin. I missed her when she was away. I ached for her to be around during those lonely moments. I laid my head down at night and rolled over, part of me hoping she would be next to me.
I wanted Emma. More so than I could’ve ever thought possible.
I held onto her tightly and rose our bodies up. I stood to my feet, feeling the way her legs wrapped around my waist. Her hands ran through my hair and I felt her lips swelling against mine. I raked my teeth along her lower lip, pulling the most beautiful sigh from the tip of her tongue.
“Ryan,” she said breathlessly.
I’d never felt like this with anyone before. Anytime I even remotely started to develop feelings for someone, I pushed them away. Kept them distant. Like Emma, it was how I protected myself. Kept myself guarded so I didn’t have to deal with all the strong, harsh emotions that came with being vulnerable. But with Emma, I wanted to be vulnerable. I wanted to let my guard down. I wanted to let her into my life.
We fell to the bed and my hands pushed her dress up her body. I wanted to kiss every inch of her. Nibble on her thick thighs and feel them wrapped around my cheeks. I slid down her body, trailing my swollen lips along every inch of her skin. I gathered her dress around her waist and slid her panties down her legs, nuzzling my cheek against her skin.
Every time I touched her, she jumped. Every time I kissed her, goosebumps fled across her skin.
I dove into her pussy, wrapping her legs willingly around my face. Her hands tangled in my hair as her arousal met its death upon my tongue. Melting at the heat of our exchange as she ground into my swollen lips. She bucked. Squirmed. Dug her heels into my back. She pulled me as close as she could have me and I lapped at her clit until she was holding her breath. Holding back the moans and groans she knew would wake up the kids if they heard.
I reached for a pillow and threw it onto her face, and her hands released my hair to press it to her mouth.
“Oh fuck. Ryan. Yes. Shit. Oh my gosh. Lick harder. Harder. Harder, please!”
I loved it when she told me what she wanted. When she moved her body around on my tongue to get me where she wanted me most. Her muffled sounds heated my body and I pressed into her clit, moving my tongue at lightning speed. Her thighs clamped around my cheeks and her feet curled into my back. I gripped her hips, pulling her to the edge of the bed as my cock leaked against my pants.
Emma rolled deeply against my lips, riding out her pulsing orgasm as her juices slicked my chin and dribbled down my neck.
I gave my tongue over to her until she was done bucking against me. Her body settled back onto the bed as a beautiful red sheen glistened along her curves. I stood from between her legs, pulling my shirt off and kicking my pants to my feet. I couldn't undress myself fast enough. I couldn’t grab her thighs quickly enough. I couldn't position myself at her pussy at the speed I wanted to.
But when I sank into her, all time and space was lost.
Her fluttering walls molded around me, accepting my thickness as I dripped inside of her. Emma wiggled out of her dress, shoving it off to the side as her tits fell beautifully against her body. I slid into her, watching the way she cupped her breasts and pulled at her engorged nipples.
I fell to her, pulling them between my lips as I rolled deeply into her body.
“Ryan. Yes,” she said with a whisper. “Just like that.”
She shivered with every slide of my cock against her slick walls.
Emma wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me onto the bed. She rolled us over and straddled my hips, her hands sinking into my chest. Her tits flopped in my face as she bounced in my lap, riding my cock with a glimmer of happiness in her eyes. Clouded over with lust and half-hooded from her pleasure, those blissful blue eyes turned dark. Gave into the urges she possessed as her pussy dripped down my balls. My hands sank into her hips and helped her along. Guiding her rolls as my heels planted into the floor.
I sat up, desperate to be closer to her as her arms threaded around my neck.
We bucked against one another, her sweet lips peppering kisses all along my neck. She nibbled on my shoulder as her fingertips curled into my skin. Her pussy fluttered around my cock as her clit raked along my pelvis, seeking more friction than I’d given it before. She jumped in my lap. Jolted with every stroke. My cock grew thick against her walls, leaking precum into her beautiful body.
“Fuck Emma,” I said breathlessly. “You have no idea how beautiful you are.”
I picked her up and stood to my feet, walking her into the wall. Our eyes connected as her legs wrapped around me, and I slammed into her body. Watched her jolt as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Emma’s hair was wild, and her pussy dripped its arousal down my thighs. She was so wet for me. So tight as her pussy pulsed around my cock. I unraveled her hands from around my neck and threaded our fingers together. Pinned them above her head and rendered her helpless against my body. Our lips collided as I pounded into her, allowing myself to let go for the first time with her.
To enjoy her the way I wanted to.
She pushed her hips into me, giving me deeper access to her luscious body. I felt her in ways I never had before. Ways I’d never felt any woman before. Her pussy clamped around me. Held me in its vice grip as I slid against her walls. My tongue raked along her cheeks. Her teeth. The roof of her mouth. I couldn't drink enough of her. Taste nearly enough of what I wanted. Her nails curled into my hand and her legs tightened, drawing me closer than we’d ever been.
“Ryan,” she whispered against my lips. “Please don’t stop.”
“Never,” I said. “I’ll never stop with you.”
The words left my lips before I could catch them, but I knew they were true. I’d never stop pursuing her. Caring for her. Wanting her around and with the kids. I’d never stop wanting her body or wanting to be buried in her pussy. I’d never stop dreaming of her or wanting to call her or thinking about her while I was at work.
Our eyes connected, and for the first time I watched her guard drop.
I thrusted into her and watched her unwavering blue stare pull me in. Our foreheads connected and I breathed her air. Fueled myself on her residual oxygen. I pressed her into the wall so deeply I thought her imprint would be there forever. Sweat dripped down our foreheads, and I felt my toes curling into the carpet. My balls pulling into my body.
My cock throbbing and ready to explode.
“Ryan. Ryan. I… I think…”
My eyes searched hers, waiting for that phrase to roll off her tongue. Because I was prepared. I was prepared to return the sentiment. To let her know that I’d let her in. That she was mine, if she wanted to be.
“Emma,” I said breathlessly. “Say it.”
I slammed my cock into her one last time and her head fell back against the wall. She choked on her words and I couldn’t make them out. Her pleasure was too hot, and the blinding heat that swept through my body caused my cock to unload in her. Pumping her full of threads of cum that leaked down both of our bodies. My lips fell to her neck, sucking and nibbling as her body shook. Her pussy clamped around me and refused to let go, milking me for all I had.
And I gladly gave it to her as my balls emptied.
I slid to the floor, bringing her body along with me. I gathered her in my arms and held her there, my face buried into the crook of her neck. I didn’t want her to go. I wanted her to stay with me. To sleep with me and wake up with me and cook breakfast with me for the kids. Her smell was intoxicating, and I didn’t want to wash it from my skin. Her presence was perfect and I wasn’t ready to let it go.
“Ryan,” she said with a whisper.
I nuzzled my nose against her cheek before I captured her lips with mine.
“Just stay like this,” I said weakly. “Just… just for a second.”
And I held her in my lap, my cock still sheathed within her warmth, until our legs grew numb.
Seventeen
Emma
“Come on, kids! On the bus! We have to hurry, otherwise we won’t have time for lunch!”
I watched all the kids barrel onto the bus as we got ready for our field trip. We were going to the museum in town before going across the street to have lunch. Field trip days were always fun for me. Most teachers didn’t enjoy them, but I did. So much learning happened outside of a classroom setting, and it was a joy for me to watch the kids’ faces light up when they walked by the dinosaur exhibit.
They gawked at the sights and we got to go around to all of the exhibits. Dinosaurs and mummies and all of the things kids found to be ‘so cool’. The pare
nt chaperones were taking pictures and the kids were running around trying to look at different things at once. It stressed most teachers out, but not me.
I lived for these days.
After three hours at the museum, it was time for lunch. The kids were complaining about being hungry and I knew they wanted to sit down. The chaperones helped me take the kids across the street in chunks, making sure we could make the traffic lights without having thirty kids in the middle of the street.
I held onto Zoey’s hand tightly as we all ran across the road.
“Uncle Ryan! Uncle Ryan!”
She flipped from my grasp and took off for the restaurant as my head whipped up. She ran straight for the window of the place we were going to eat and pressed her hands against it, peering into the dining establishment.
And sure enough, there was Ryan.
Sitting with a very beautiful woman.
Zoey was waving from the window, but Ryan didn’t notice her. He was too busy smiling and laughing with the woman at the table. He was in a beautiful suit that clung to all the areas of him I enjoyed best. Accentuating his power and bringing out his dazzling smile. And the woman. Well, she was breathtaking. Tall. Long legs. Slim features. Gorgeous brown hair that flowed down her back. Perfect eyeliner. Beautiful red lips.
Everything I wasn’t.
“We’re all here, Miss Emma.”
I looked over at one of the parental chaperones and nodded my head. I glanced around to see if there was any other place we could take the kids. Any place that would service thirty hungry preschoolers and seven very tired adults.
But there was nothing.
I looked back through the window and watched as the woman leaned forward. She picked up her hand and placed it on top of Ryan’s and I felt my heart shatter. It was happening again. But this time, I was watching it. The man I’d let my guard down with. The man I started to attach myself to emotionally.
He was with another woman.
I tried to convince myself it was an innocent lunch. After all, they looked to be dressed for business. I’m sure Ryan did plenty of lunch meetings with high-end clients. But the way she put her hand on top of his and the way he didn’t pull back.
6+ Us Makes Eight: A Teacher and Single Dad Romance (Baby Makes Three) Page 11
