“All my life,” Jill began to explain, “since I was in my teens, I wanted to have a baby.”
Derrick raked a hand through thick, unmanageable hair. “Seriously?”
She nodded. “Most girls dream about their wedding day, but not me. I dreamt of having a baby of my own. My sister would ask Santa for a princess dress. I always asked for a baby.”
He appeared to be listening intently, which made her wonder about him. Men didn’t listen to women rattle on about their wants and desires. Derrick Baylor obviously had a plan of his own. Fine with her. Two could play at this game.
“Fast forward to Thomas,” she went on. “We dated for years, but he couldn’t—” Jill pulled her gaze from his. “This is too personal. I shouldn’t be talking about this with you.”
“No, please go on,” he said. “Thomas was infertile?”
Jill looked at him skeptically, warily, and then nodded. “We had a long engagement. During that time, I looked for help. I finally found CryoCorp. When things didn’t work out between Thomas and me, I knew right away that I would keep my appointment with CryoCorp and raise my baby on my own. No father, no ties, no one telling me how to raise my child. No one judging me. Women all over the world raise their children alone.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t see anything wrong with what I was doing.”
“I’m not judging you, Jill.”
God, he was good at this, she thought. No yawn; no bored, wandering eyes. “You’re not?”
He shook his head.
“It was all supposed to be confidential,” she said. “And then you showed up out of the blue. What were the odds?”
“One in a million.”
She nodded. “One in a million.” She looked into his eyes again, deeper this time, searching. “I never should have left the hospital without talking to you first. But what about you?” she asked. “You never mentioned having a lawyer, or that you were going to court. You weren’t exactly upfront with me, were you?” She lifted her chin a notch.
“You’re right. I should have told you my plans.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m hoping the two of us can work something out.”
“Like what?”
He pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to her. “Here’s the date and time we’re scheduled to meet next month for mediation. The soonest date I could get is thirty days from now.” He cleared his throat. “I was hoping before that time, you would allow me to spend time with you and Ryan, you know, so we could get to know one another better.”
She took the paper and looked it over.
“He’s not coming in here,” Sandy said from inside the apartment.
Jill sighed. “Do you want to see Ryan?”
He looked surprised. “I would love to.”
A loud moan sounded from inside the apartment. “Shouldn’t you be practicing your drops? I thought good mechanics were needed on the field?” Sandy asked from the other side of the door.
He smiled—a flash of white teeth and a charming sparkle in his eyes. The man definitely had to have a string of beautiful women falling at his feet on a daily basis.
“Training camp doesn’t start for another six weeks,” he told Sandy through the door.
“Before we go inside,” Jill said, “I do have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“What happens if we go through with mediation but then fail to come to any mutual conclusion with regard to Ryan?”
“I guess we’d have to take the matter to court.”
She liked his honesty, but that didn’t mean she liked his answer.
Chapter Five
Derrick sat in the middle of Jill’s lime-green couch and watched her feed Ryan the last of his bottle. Four-year-old Lexi wriggled around on his left side while Jill sat on his right.
Ryan was a tiny thing, much smaller than his niece, Bailey. “He looks awful small,” Derrick said.
“Babies tend to be small,” Sandy muttered from the kitchen.
Derrick ignored her. Satan was not happy to have him inside the apartment. Even now he could feel her angry eyes boring a hole through the side of his head.
“Are you sure you don’t want to feed him the rest of his bottle?” Jill asked.
“No, thanks. I’m perfectly happy just watching you.”
Satan snorted.
“He’s afwade of rine,” Lexi announced.
“No, I’m not,” Derrick answered too quickly.
“Burp him then,” Lexi said.
Lexi stood on the couch, her pink sock-covered feet sinking into the cushions as she held onto Derrick’s shoulder for support.
“No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just watch. How do you know so much about babies?” he asked Lexi, hoping to get the little girl’s attention focused on something other than him.
“I used to be one,” she said.
Sandy laughed.
“Here.” Lexi laid a dry cloth diaper on his shoulder and patted it with her hand. “Put Rine’s head right here,” she told Jill.
The bottle was empty so Jill adjusted herself on the couch so she could do as Lexi said.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said nervously as Jill placed Ryan exactly as Lexi had instructed.
The second the baby’s head touched his shoulder, Derrick froze—he didn’t move one inch.
Lexi giggled and moved his hand so that the palm of his hand was flat against Ryan’s back. “Now pat him…softwy,” she told Derrick. “You a big guy,” she said with a smile. “Don’t hurt the wittle baby.”
He gently patted Derrick’s back. “Like that?”
Lexi’s head bobbed. “Yep. Do it ’til he burps.”
Within seconds a loud gurgly sound came out of Ryan. Derrick’s eyes widened. “It worked!”
Lexi clapped her hands together and squealed.
He smiled at Jill, and then looked at Sandy, which was a big mistake since she was frowning and ruining the moment.
“Mommy, Rine burped!” Lexi shouted in Derrick’s ear.
“What did Ryan do?” Sandy asked with a smile, knowing her daughter would shout in his ear again, which she did. Satan was on a roll.
“Rine wikes you,” Lexi said as Jill pushed herself from the couch.
Derrick laughed. Despite being the spawn of the devil, Lexi was an adorable kid.
“He don’t wike his mommy though,” Lexi added.
Jill blushed.
“Of course he likes his mommy,” Derrick told Lexi.
“Nope. He don’t wike her boobies.”
“Okay,” Sandy said as she swooped in and ushered Lexi away. “Time for your bath, Lexi.”
“Not now. Howiewood said he’d draw pictures with me.”
“Maybe some other time,” Sandy told her.
“Sweet girl,” Derrick said after Lexi and Sandy exited the room.
“She’s a hoot,” Jill agreed, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.
Derrick didn’t know what to do. Ryan was falling asleep on his shoulder. He didn’t want to wake him, but his leg was cramping and his arm wasn’t faring much better.
It was quiet for a moment while they both stared at Ryan’s perfect little head as he rested on his shoulder. “I’ve never held a baby before today,” he told her. “I mean, not in a very long time. It’s not so difficult, after all.”
“You’re a natural.”
Derrick tucked his chin into his chest and examined Ryan further. “He’s got your mouth,” he said.
Jill sat on the armrest of the couch and took a good long look at Ryan too. “Hmm. You think so?”
As he examined her mouth for comparison, she felt ridiculously self-conscious and found herself wishing she hadn’t asked the question.
“Definitely,” he said.
She looked at Derrick’s mouth. “I hadn’t noticed that before. You might be right.” The thought cheered her immeasurably. “He has your nose, though, that’s for sure,” she added. “And your big brown
eyes.”
“The better to see you with, my dear.” He wriggled his brows.
She laughed and then stopped when she saw him giving her a strange look. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said, looking away.
She thought about coaxing him into telling her what was on his mind, but decided against it. Until things had been sorted out between them with regards to Ryan, it was safest for her to keep her guard up. If she was to convince her parents they were dating she needed to be friendly, but there was no reason to overdo it.
His gaze fell back to Ryan, who was now asleep. “Looks like we wore the little guy out. Should I put him in his crib?”
“I’ll take him.” She stood, and then leaned low and scooped Ryan up and off of his chest. Her baby smelled like Derrick, musky and masculine. “I’ll be right back.”
By the time she returned, Derrick was at the door ready to go. She was glad. The man made her nervous. He was handsome and too charming for his own good. This entire afternoon had probably been a sham. He was probably just kissing up to her, befriending her and then when she least suspected, he’d bring in the lawyers and find a way to take Ryan away from her. Men could not be counted on, she reminded herself.
“I was wondering if it would be okay if I stopped by tomorrow.”
“No,” she said a little too quickly. “I mean, I don’t think it would be a good idea.” She felt vulnerable and she didn’t like the feeling. There was no way she could be his friend and remain strong at the same time. Her plans were quickly dissolving into a pile of mush. She opened the door and after he stepped outside she said, “Maybe it would be better if the next time we see each other it’s in the mediation room.”
He rubbed his chin, clearly confused. “I know this can’t be easy for you, but we’re not meeting with the mediator for another month. My parents live less than an hour from here and my family is already on my back to meet Ryan. Let me pick you and Ryan up at, say, ten on Saturday and—”
“No. I’m sorry. I can’t.” She shut the door, and then leaned against it, her eyes closed tight until she heard him walk away. Everything was happening too fast. She had a magazine to run, a small magazine, but a magazine all the same. Food For All was chock full of everything from quick-to-fix recipes to restaurant reviews. The idea for her magazine had come to her five years ago as a hobby when she lived back East, but quickly grew into much more. She’d found a buyer for the New York edition and they agreed that she would start another edition once she moved to California. Finding a readership took time, though. Her savings was dwindling fast. If she didn’t find a way to get subscribers, she would be forced to find a job outside of her apartment.
She had an article to finish, emails to read, and a phone to answer. She walked into the kitchen and picked up the receiver. “Hello.”
“Jill. It’s so good to hear your voice. It’s me, Thomas.”
~~~
On the way to his car, Derrick found it difficult to wrap his mind around the fact that he had a son. The last few days had been a wild ride of emotions. Before finding Jill, he’d thought a lot about what he would do if he found the woman who had selected him as a donor, and what he would do if she were pregnant.
He certainly never thought he’d feel what he was feeling right now—happy. Spending time with Ryan today had been exhilarating. Even little Lexi had calmed his fears about whether or not he could handle children.
Maybe, he thought, if Maggie could see that he’d changed, that he took his responsibilities seriously, she would see that he was the man for her—not Aaron.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a sign: “Apartments for Rent.” Turning about, he followed the direction of the arrows, which took him back upstairs. Directly across from Jill’s apartment was a FOR RENT sign.
With a smile on his face, he headed for the main office.
~~~
Three days had passed since Maggie and Derrick met in the courtroom. Aaron had insisted she not go, but Maggie went anyhow and now her fiancé was barely talking to her.
Although they had kept their relationship private until recently, she and Aaron had been living together for a few months now. Aaron sat at the kitchen table, his laptop open in front of him—all ten fingers clacking away on the keyboard.
Maggie stood a few feet away, watching him. He was a pharmacist during the day and a law student at night. She loved the way his hair curled around his ears and the way his nose curved just a smidgeon to the left, something nobody else would notice at first or second glance. She hated to disturb Aaron, but he’d been quiet for days and it had to stop. “Aaron,” she said.
“Hmm.”
“We need to talk about Derrick.”
He didn’t respond, didn’t miss a beat as his fingers continued to hammer away at his keyboard.
“You need to talk to your brother,” Maggie tried again, “before he takes that woman to court and embarrasses his family in the process.”
“He’s not my brother,” Aaron said.
Biologically speaking that was the truth, but Aaron had been unofficially adopted by Derrick’s family when he was twelve—after Aaron’s mother ran off with another man and his father began spending more time in the bar than at home.
“You used to talk about Derrick with pride,” she reminded him. “You always bragged about his hard-earned place in the NFL, proudly calling him your brother as you recalled one childhood story or another.”
“That was a long time ago—before I found you again. Things are different now.”
Ouch. That hurt. Maggie continued to watch him. He had yet to look away from the computer. Ever since he’d punched Derrick in the face, he’d been treating her as if she was the one who did something wrong. “Aaron. Look at me, please.”
Finally, he looked up, his eyes cold and unseeing.
“Why are you blaming me for Derrick’s actions?”
“The truth?”
“Nothing but.”
“I think you wanted Derrick to kiss you.”
Aaron might as well have punched her in the gut because that’s how she felt—sucker punched and sick to her stomach. “Is there more?”
“Yeah. I think you’re in love with Derrick. I think you always have been. I think you agreed to marry me to get closer to him.”
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was hard to believe he could be so dense. “You don’t think I would have approached Derrick if I thought he was the man for me?”
“No. You’re a stickler for pride and your pride never would have allowed you to go after him.”
Wow. He had it all figured out. She watched him as he set his attention back on his work. She’d grown up with a gaggle of boys, including Derrick and Aaron. They all did everything together. They rode bikes and played football, shot hoops and hiked around town. They joked together, laughed together, played silly pranks on one another. Until she reached puberty, she’d been one of the boys: Connor, Derrick, Aaron, Lucas, Brad, Cliff, Jake, a few neighborhood boys, and Maggie. They were all great friends, at least until her body changed and their voices dropped an octave. For a short time, she’d thought she had feelings for Derrick, but then she’d given him a football for his fourteenth birthday and he’d kissed her. By the time they shared their third and last kiss in the principal’s office during their senior year, she’d known her heart wasn’t in it.
Derrick was fun and carefree, but he didn’t take life seriously. Aaron, on the other hand, had grown up to become a responsible and caring man who wore his emotions like a badge for all to see. She and Aaron had always been great friends. They talked for hours on end and it had only taken one kiss for her to know that he was the one who had her heart, the one she loved.
Yes, she’d heard from Aaron and Derrick’s sisters about the ridiculous vow all the boys made back then, a pledge stating that if one of them couldn’t have her, then none of them could.
Crazy talk—childhood silliness.
Maggie watched her
fiancé and inwardly smiled as she thought about all the lonely nights she’d spent during her college years, dreaming about Aaron someday coming for her. It had taken him a few years longer than she’d thought it would, but he’d come all the same. And she’d been waiting.
“Where are you going?” Aaron asked after she sighed and headed for the other room.
She stopped and looked around the house they’d been sharing for months now. She looked at the roll-top desk Aaron had bought for her before she moved in, to the handmade cushions on the chairs where Aaron sat, the cushions she’d made when they first moved into the house. “I’m going to get my laptop,” she said. “I have clients who need me.”
“You’re not leaving?”
She raised her eyebrows, shocked by his question. “This is my home,” she said, tired of his moping. “If anyone’s leaving this house, it’s going to have to be you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“And you have nothing to say on the matter?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, determined to keep from falling apart, firm in her decision to help Derrick in his time of need. “I’m going to help Derrick to the best of my ability. He’s your brother. He’s family.”
Chapter Six
“What did you do to Aaron?”
Derrick grimaced at the front console of his car where the radio frequency miraculously turned magnetic waves into his mother’s voice. The wireless phone system in his Chevy Tahoe was supposed to make for a safer ride, but he wondered how safe it was to drive while being lectured by his mother. Keeping his eyes on the road, he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Aaron said he couldn’t come to the get-together I’m planning if you were going to be there. He said to ask you about it if I wanted details.”
“Not now, Mom. I’m pulling up to my new apartment building as we speak. Jake and the twins are meeting me to help move a few things.”
“Why are you moving into an apartment when you have a beautiful home already.”
Having My Baby Page 5
