“Derrick,” she said. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“I’m trying to be absolutely truthful with my feelings for you. From the start, you’ve been upfront and real with me. I want to do the same.”
She watched him for a moment before she said, “Is this about Maggie?”
“No,” he said shaking his head, “not really. This is about us.”
He felt her stiffen, her eyes unblinking as she waited for him to spit it all out.
“I’m just trying to be straight with you,” he said. “I like you and I want to be with you.”
“You have feelings for both us, Maggie and I, and you’re confused.”
She was right. That was the problem. “Yes,” he said as he leaned his head back against the lounge chair and looked up at a star-filled sky, feeling as if a thousand pounds had just been lifted from his shoulders. She was absolutely right.
Jill slid her legs to the side of the chair and came to her feet.
He lifted his head. “Where are you going?”
“It’s late. I need to get going.”
“You’re not going to stay tonight?”
“Here? With you?”
He nodded before he realized that in one-tenth of a second everything changed between them. Did he do something wrong? He jumped to his feet and nearly tripped over the lounge chair to get to her side. He took her hands in his and said, “I’m falling for you, Jill. I’m falling so hard and fast my head is spinning.”
“But you also have feelings for Maggie.”
He wanted nothing more than to deny it, take everything he’d just said right back, wind the clock backwards a few short minutes and start over. This whole forthright truth crap wasn’t working like it was supposed to. “I was trying to be real with you.”
“And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it,” she said without emotion.
“I was hoping that what we’ve shared and my being truthful would be the beginning of something incredible.”
She angled her head as her gaze delved deeply into his, looking at him as if he was a moron or something worse. He hoped beyond hope that in the end, meaning in the next two minutes, she would be willing to give the two of them a shot. Forget about any feelings he might have for Maggie because more than anything he was sort of hoping those particular feelings would just disappear, go “poof” into thin air.
Jill straightened and looked about as if she had been about to say something but changed her mind. She tried to pull her hand away, but he wouldn’t let go.
“Don’t go,” he said.
She looked at him. “I was also hoping this was the beginning of something wonderful, but it is what it is. You can’t help feeling what you feel. I’m grateful that you opened up to me and told me the truth. And I hope you understand when I tell you that I can’t do this thing with you anymore…be your friend…grocery shopping, chocolate…stars. I can’t do any of it with you because I’ll never know in any given moment whether you’re thinking about me or her.”
Derrick was at a complete loss as to what to do, so he just stood there like a fool and watched her walk back into the house, gather her things and leave. He wanted to run to the front of the house and stop her before she left, convince her that he had it all wrong and she was the only girl for him, but his legs were glued to the ground. He wasn’t a moron. He was an idiot and a moron.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jill looked around the ballroom, wondering when Thomas was going to arrive.
Her gaze swept toward the entrance, past the woman with the French twist who was talking to a statuesque brunette wearing to-the-elbow black silk gloves. Jill hardly noticed the tall blonde dripping in diamonds as her gaze locked on the newest arrival standing at the top of the staircase.
Instead of Thomas, it was Derrick who walked into the Grand Ballroom dressed to the hilt in top hat and tails. He’d gone all out and all eyes were on him, watching his every move as the music changed tempo and he moved to the music, gyrating his hips and making the women swoon as he danced his way down the wide set of stairs and across the marble floor until he stood before her.
A sly smile covered Jill’s face as she snapped her fingers, prompting the waiter to bring them a large glass bowl filled with a creamy ganache used for tarts, truffles, and for filling soufflés.
Derrick didn’t bother dipping just one finger. He took a whole handful of the chocolate filling whipped up by none other than Wolfgang Puck, who stood in the foreground holding a chocolate covered whisk. Fireworks exploded, lighting up the sky outside. Bells rang in the distance; Derrick winked and she laughed as tiny chocolate truffles rained down around them.
Jill jolted upward in bed and opened her eyes.
She looked about her bedroom, everything in its place. Her heart pounded against her chest. She had done it again.
~~~
Today they were celebrating.
Chelsey, Jill, and Sandy drank champagne while they looked through dozens of pictures and tried to decide which picture from the cook off would be used as the cover for next month’s issue of Food For All.
It didn’t take Jill long to select her favorite eight-by-ten glossy. “This one is perfect.”
Chelsey popped the cork from a bottle of champagne and then ducked as the cork bounced off the ceiling and hit the refrigerator before rolling around on the floor. “Who wants champagne?” she asked.
“Just a tiny bit for me,” Sandy said.
Chelsey filled the fluted glasses with champagne and set two of them on the coffee table.
Sandy examined the picture Jill held up and wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know if Mrs. Murnane is going to like that one. If you look closely, you can see that her wig isn’t quite centered on her head.”
“You’re right,” Jill said. She put the picture in the reject pile and looked back at the remaining pictures.
Chelsey picked up a picture and held it up for all to see. “How about this one? All three women look good.”
Jill crossed her arms. “But the silver-haired woman—”
“Fiona,” Sandy said. “That’s her name.”
“Fiona isn’t smiling,” Jill finished.
“But it is the most flattering,” Sandy said. “If it were you, would you want the one where you’re smiling or the picture with the most flattering angles?”
“The most flattering angles,” they all said in unison.
“Okay, that’s the one.” Jill moved the rest of the pictures into the reject pile and then lifted her glass. “Cheers to our amazing photographer and another successful cover.”
Sandy held up her glass and the other two picked up their champagne glasses and clinked them together before drinking.
“Who made the lasagna?” Chelsey asked. “It’s delicious.”
“When Derrick saw me heading up the stairs this morning,” Sandy replied, “he insisted I take the lasagna he’d made. In exchange, I gave him Lexi and Ryan for a few hours.”
Jill hadn’t been happy about the exchange but she’d stayed in her bedroom while Sandy gathered everything Derrick would need and then after he’d left, she’d given Sandy a piece of her mind.
“The man cooks and changes diapers,” Chelsey said with a shake of her head. “The last time I was here he was sending flowers every five minutes. Are you going to propose to him,” she asked Jill, “or am I?”
Jill tried not to groan.
“Some girls have all the luck,” Chelsey went on. “Of all the sperm in all the sperm banks around the world and you pick his.”
“He has a lot of brothers,” Sandy said just as the doorbell rang.
Chelsey jumped to her feet and opened the door. “More flowers. Who would have guessed?” She signed the receipt and then handed the delivery boy his clipboard. “Thanks,” she said, before closing the door and handing Jill the card that came with the flowers.
Jill read the card. “They’re not from Derrick. The flowers are from Dr. Nathaniel Lerner.” Alth
ough she was grateful that Derrick had told her the truth about his feelings for her, she couldn’t help but feel sick to her stomach every time she thought of him. Derrick Baylor had needled his way into her life. Not only was he the father to her son, he was a genuinely good guy. Her instincts told her he meant well. She knew he cared about her, but she didn’t want to be second best. She deserved better, she thought.
A couple of knocks on the door caused Jill’s heart to skip a beat.
This time Sandy got the door. As Jill suspected, it was Derrick who stood on the other side, holding Ryan in his arms while Lexi held onto his leg.
“Mom,” Lexi said. “Look what Rine is wearing.”
Derrick smiled as he held Ryan up for all to see.
Her son was dressed in a sailor outfit, complete with navy trim and buttons, a navy bow at the collar, and an anchor image on the hat.
“Ahoy, mate,” Derrick said in a cheerful voice.
“Ahoy!” Lexi shouted as she jumped over the threshold and skipped across the room to where Jill sat.
Sandy glanced over her shoulder at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. “You’re twenty-five minutes late.”
“Life at sea isn’t easy and this is the welcome we get?” Derrick looked at Ryan and said, “What do you think about that, mate?”
“Batten down all hatches!” Lexi said.
Sandy smiled. “Is that what he’s been teaching you all day?”
Lexi nodded.
Ryan kicked his legs and made a gurgling noise.
“Ryan is wondering why he hasn’t been kissed yet.” Jill had already come to her feet. She scooped Ryan out of his arms and kissed his pudgy face.
“Aren’t you eating with us?” Chelsey asked Derrick.
“Unfortunately,” he said, “I can’t. It’s Wednesday and I promised Mom I would make a showing for dinner this week.”
“I’ll forgive you,” Chelsey said, “if you get me passes into the Condor’s locker room this season.”
Sandy thought that was a fair deal. Sandy and Chelsey chatted amongst themselves about football and how much they didn’t know about the game, but how they both enjoyed the uniforms and especially the way the pants molded to the players’ thighs and butt.
Derrick’s gaze settled on the flowers on the counter behind Jill. “Looks like you need to have a talk with the pediatrician.”
Jill lowered her voice. “Which part of ‘I don’t want to be your friend’ did you not understand?”
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said.
“You never had me to lose. And I don’t want to talk about this right now,” she whispered.
“Tell the doctor that you’re taken.”
She angled her head. “Are you for real?”
“You told me you had feelings for me.”
“That was before you made it clear that you still have feelings for Maggie.”
He frowned, but didn’t refute what she was saying.
“You’re confused,” she said.
Once again his large frame filled the doorway. His close proximity made her feel weak in the knees. “There’s something really great happening between the two of us,” he said. “It’s way too soon to call it quits.”
She shook her head at his audacity. “I can’t talk about this now.”
“Fine,” he said before she could shut the door in his face. “I’ll be here,” he glanced at his watch, “by eight o’clock tonight. We’ll talk then.”
~~~
Derrick didn’t bother knocking. Instead, he opened the front door to his parents’ house and led Hank inside on a leash. The dog’s tail wagged, hitting the door with a thump, thump, thump. He quietly shut the door behind him, hoping to surprise his mom. Although he’d told her he was coming, he was pretty sure she hadn’t believed him.
A cacophony of voices and sounds traveled from the dining room and kitchen, reminding him of his childhood when all of his sisters and brothers and a few neighborhood stragglers would come together in Mom’s kitchen and set the table or help with dinner, everyone always talking at once.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Jake said the moment Derrick stepped into view.
“Did you have to bring that dog?” Rachel asked.
Derrick patted Hank on the rump and held tight to his leash. “He’s a good dog and he’s lonely at the big house now that Zoey moved back to her place.”
“I can’t believe you’ll let Hank into your house, but not Jim Jensen.” Rachel shook her head. “It makes no sense at all.”
His mom tossed a salad in the kitchen. “Did you call the local veterinarians to see if anyone has lost their dog?”
Rachel snorted. “Look at the animal, Mom. Would you want Hank back if you lost him?”
Jake came to Derrick’s side and pet the dog on the head while Mom looked adoringly at Hank. “Of course I would want him back. What’s not to love?”
Hank wagged his tail.
“I’ve called at least a dozen vets,” Derrick said. “I was hoping all of you could help me make flyers.”
When no one responded, Derrick figured he was on his own.
Dad gave the dog a biscuit and then took the leash from him and led Hank outside. “Let me introduce Hank to Lucky and Princess and see if they all get along.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that, Dad. Where’s the Rad Dad T-shirt?”
“If I had known you were actually going to show up, I would have worn it.”
Derrick laughed as he headed for Mom and gave her a hug. “Something smells good.”
“Pork chops with maple sauce, salmon potato salad, and banana cream cheesecake.”
“Sounds like a winning combo.”
“How’s your knee?” she asked, ignoring his teasing.
He frowned. “Who told you I was having problems with my knee?”
“I’m your mother. I know these things.”
Brad sat at the booth in the kitchen. “We’ve all noticed you limping around in pain at some point or another. Have you talked to your coach about it?”
Frustrated, Derrick raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m back on the field next week. Nobody will ever know.”
“You can’t play football forever,” Jake reminded him.
“I appreciate everyone’s concern,” Derrick said, which was a big fat lie since he plainly did not like them nosing in on his business, “but I’ve got it taken care of.” He did a little dance. “See? The leg is as good as new.”
His brother Cliff came in from outside, followed by Dad. Derrick was thankful for the interruption.
“Hey, bro, how’s it going?” Cliff asked. “Good looking dog you found yourself.”
They hugged and patted one another on the back and Derrick actually found himself wondering why it had taken him so long to join them on Wednesday night for dinner.
“I hear congratulations are in order,” Zoey added as she appeared from down the hall.
“For what?” Derrick asked.
“Mom told us you and Jill finally hooked up.”
Derrick looked at Mom, who merely waved a dismissive hand and went on with whatever she was doing now. And then he remembered why he rarely came to these get-togethers.
“I like Jill very much,” Rachel said as she placed a fork next to every plate on the table in the dining room.
Dad handed him the salt and pepper shakers. “Put those on the table, would you?”
Derrick did as he was told and then he glanced at his watch.
“Don’t even think about it,” Mom said as she patted his forearm.
Damn. She was on to him.
“So when are you going to move back into your house in Malibu?” Dad asked.
“And more importantly,” Zoey said, “when are Jill and Ryan going to move in with you?”
“First comes love,” Mom told his sister as she passed the glass bowl filled with potato salad, gesturing for his sister to set it on the table. “After the love part, we can all discuss the moving in
part.”
“We?” Derrick asked. “We don’t discuss my love life or decide what’s best for me. Jill and I will discuss our love lives and our future together without any help from the likes of you all.” Were they all insane?
“A little testy, aren’t we?” Jake asked.
“He’s sensitive,” Mom corrected.
Of course they were all insane. Why was he even questioning it?
“He’s obviously in love,” Rachel chimed in as if he wasn’t in the same room.
His dad came up close to Derrick for a better look. “How can you tell?”
“He just talked about discussing his love life with Jill,” Rachel said. “Why would anyone discuss their love life if they didn’t have one?”
“You’re a clever child,” Dad said, tweaking her nose as if she was five-years old.
Derrick winced. “Dad smells like cigars again, Mom.”
“Phil. You didn’t?”
His dad narrowed his eyes at Derrick in warning. “I want to hear more about this falling in love stuff,” Dad said to get him back for tattling, “and how WE are all going to figure out what you and Jill—”
“Hey,” Derrick said, cutting him off, “did you all hear Connor’s taking Sandy out this Friday night? What about that!”
His mother’s eyes widened and his sister motioned for him to be quiet by slicing a hand across her throat. “What?” Derrick asked, truly baffled.
Jake’s face reddened just before he headed out the sliding glass door, shutting it firmly behind him.
Zoey sighed. “Jake has a crush on Sandy and ever since he discovered Connor had an eye on her, too, he’s been upset.”
“And you call me the sensitive one?” Derrick shook his head.
The click of the front door told him they had more company. When Maggie walked into the kitchen, all conversation came to a halt.
Derrick wasn’t sure if everyone stopped talking because they were waiting to see if Aaron was going to walk in behind her, or if they just didn’t know what to say to her since Aaron had up and left her.
The last time he’d seen Maggie she’d been red-nosed and puffy-eyed from too much crying. Tonight though, she looked back to normal: all creamy skinned and beautiful—pint-sized and bright-eyed.
Having My Baby Page 22
