by Nana Malone
“What?”
He inclined his head toward the bedroom door. “Sebastian. Why do you let him treat you that way? He acts like a tosser around you.”
I flipped my gaze down to my coffee. “I’m just trying to do my job. Make it on his service, you know? Besides, he has a right to be angry with me.”
Roone shook his head. “He’s my best mate, but he’s an idiot. You were doing your job.”
“Yeah, well.” I traced my fingertips around the rim of the cup. “I think the lines got a little blurred. So I think maybe some of his anger is deserved.”
Roone nodded. “I guess that answers that question.”
I lifted my gaze to meet his. “What question?”
“The one about whether you care about him like he cares about you.”
I cleared my throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t. All I know is that my best mate has been acting distraught, despondent, and I know him. Yes, he misses King Cassius, but it’s something else too. It’s like a part of him is hurt, not just grieving. There’s pain there, and he wants to take it out on someone. So far, from what I’ve seen, he’s taking it out on you; that sort of screams of someone who cares about someone else.”
“If you say so, but I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”
“He’s a wanker. Before you, I don’t think he’d ever really been in love. Even with Laila. He was just marrying her because that was what was expected. Even though he didn’t want it, it still hurt when she dropped him for someone better. And then with you, well, I suspect you took him by surprise.”
“No one … ” I cleared my voice. What was I supposed to say? “No one knows about anything that happened in New York. I’d appreciate it if—”
He frowned slightly. “Of course, your secret is safe with me, under one condition.”
Oh boy. What part of my soul would I have to give up, just so my father and family wouldn’t be humiliated? “What?”
“Relax, I’m not a wanker. I just want to hear more about Lucas.”
My brows lifted. “Lucas? Oh, um … he’s kind of freewheeling, charming, and handsome. Very handsome. He knows it, but he’s not a complete douche about it. He’s cheekier, I guess. Like I said, a hustler, so he’s more than happy to use his looks to his advantage. But I got the impression he cared about Sebastian, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Cared about him, or cared about being king?”
My jaw dropped open. “You know?”
He nodded. “I suspect there are only a handful of people on this planet that know the truth so far. I’m just trying to ascertain if he’s a good bloke.”
I considered this. I didn’t know Lucas that well, but since he’d known all along who Sebastian was and the paparazzi had never once followed them or found out about them, I knew Lucas could be trusted. “From what I know of him, he’s trustworthy. The point is Sebastian trusts him.”
Roone nodded and his gaze flickered to the closed door again. “Yeah, I just wonder. He came into his life so suddenly.”
I blinked rapidly. “You don’t think he would have done something to the king, do you?”
Roone shook his head. “It would all be too coincidental. Besides, from what Sebastian told me, Lucas knew nothing about him, or if he did, that was one hell of a long con to somehow get Sebastian to come looking for him and then approach him, only to turn around and try to kill their father. It’s too much. I looked into Lucas. His mother was a con artist. Not before her affair with King Cassius though. It was only after she hooked up with some guy she married. Lucas is a grifter maybe, but I don’t think he’s a murderer.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I didn’t get that vibe off of him either. I don’t think that he would do that.”
“It’s good to know he’s a good guy, because right about now, Sebastian needs all the friends he can get.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“That being said, you need to stand up to him.”
“Excuse me?”
“You need to remind him who he is. He needs to stop being a brat. Shit sucks right now, but he knows better. He should treat you better.”
“Thank you, I guess. But it is what it is. I’m not sure why he put me on his service. A part of me thinks he did it so he could torture me. I lied to him, but the shitty part is, he lied to me too. The difference is I knew he was lying.”
“Why aren’t you angrier? You knew about the lie from the get-go. You know he could have told you anytime, but he chose not to. Why aren’t you pissed and acting like an arsehole?”
“I … ” That was a good question. One I didn’t have an answer to.
Roone shrugged. “Obviously, I love him like a brother, but he needs better ways of dealing with his emotions. He can’t just choose to lock them up and pretend they don’t exist or run away from them or lash out when things don’t go exactly the way he wants. Sure, he could react however he wants, but now with the whole world watching, that kind of behavior doesn’t work in his favor. Especially not when the person who could help him is the one he’s lashing out against.”
“I don’t know how to help him. Obviously, he won’t talk to me.”
Roone nodded slowly. “Keep trying, because right now, I think you are the only one who might be able to get through to him.”
12
Sebatian
Coming to terms with being an asshole was a humbling experience. I remembered the night before all too well. And as an extra bonus, it felt like someone had lined my mouth with cotton balls and rubbing alcohol. Also, my head felt like a couple of elephants had used it as a soccer ball.
I don’t know how much Ecstasy Laila had given me. It was enough to make me act like an ass, but not enough to put foggy patches in my memory. That line I’d set for myself about Penny? I’d gone right ahead and crossed that.
I scrubbed a hand over my face as I sat up in bed. I half expected to find her in my room on the floor, guarding my door and staring at me. But she wasn’t, and guess what? I was glad about that because there’s nothing worse than being confronted about acting like an asshole first thing when you woke up.
Today was a free day. I’d planned to use it to do a few more meetings, but I was rethinking that. Maybe I’d just take the day and actually enjoy the city. I’d always loved London.
The energy. The people. The fact that I could hear five different languages if I just rode the train long enough. The fun and the excitement of it. I decided I’d take Roone with me and give Penny a break. I thought we both needed a break from each other. Frankly, if I was stuck with her, I might lose my shit again, and this time, I wouldn’t have the Ecstasy to blame.
At the end of the day, the truth of it was I wanted her. I wanted her still. I wanted her always.
It didn’t matter that she’d lied, because that wasn’t really what I was mad about. What I was mad about was being controlled. I hated that my father had any influence in me meeting her. I was angry at myself for falling in love with her. I was pissed at a dead man and myself. How was that for irony? Sure, I was pissed at her too, but I understood. I was being irrational. She had been doing her job. What was my excuse? I could have told her at any point who I was. I could have told her I was the prince. Then at least my anger with her would be justified because I’d have told the truth.
But you didn’t tell the truth. You lied too. And I’d been punishing her for it ever since I found out.
I needed to get back to basics, figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life and my reign. I needed to get my shit together, because like it or not, I was the fucking king. The cocky king, as Penny liked to keep saying, but there was nothing cocky about me. I had no clue what the fuck I was doing. My whole life had changed in an instant. I’d fallen in love with a girl. A girl I’d thought I could have.
I’d almost had my freedom, a life where I could be a normal person, just a man who loved a girl. Then in the blink of an
eye, I lost everything I wanted and gained the one thing I didn’t want: the monarchy.
But it was what it was. I couldn’t moan about it. I just had to get on with it. And the best way to do that was to get back to basics.
I glanced over in the corner at my camera bag. I hadn’t anticipated having much time to take pictures, but maybe that’s what I needed to do today.
I tossed the sheets and blankets off and padded over, unzipping the bag and pulling out my Hasselblad Camera. I loved that thing. Just holding it made me feel calmer. It made me feel like me again. And even though it went against all protocols, I was still going to do the Winston Show. It was the one thing that was mine, and I was going to hold on to it. It would be my first and only show, and I’d make sure people knew that. The proceeds from every piece sold would go to the charity of my choice. Hell, maybe I’d donate it all to the Arts Scholarship Fund. Maybe I’d find out Penny’s favorite charity.
Oh man, you’ve got it bad.
Yeah, I did. But she wasn’t an option for my royal blood, so even thinking I could have her was torture in and of itself. I needed to get over it quickly. What happened with her last night couldn’t happen anymore. I needed to find a way to get on an even keel with that woman, or it was going to drive me insane. And as evidenced, between the grief and the new responsibilities, I couldn’t be king, or at least be the king I wanted to be, if my head wasn’t screwed on correctly.
I opened the door to find Roone and Penny in the living area. Both were dressed casually.
Roone gave me a smirk. “Sleeping Beauty awakes.”
I glanced at the clock and scowled back at him. “Fuck off. It’s only nine.”
“Well, la-di-da, I was up at six waiting for you for a workout.”
Yeah, I’d woken up at six, but I’d promptly gone back to sleep again, because I hadn’t felt like working out. And I knew Roone would not have taken it easy on me, hungover or not from whatever the hell I’d taken.
Penny’s gaze didn’t quite meet mine when she spoke. “Your Majesty, we need to work on the security protocols for today. Where do you think you’ll be heading? As soon as we know, we can get the cars sorted for you.”
I knew what I meant to say, that actually Roone would be accompanying me today. But when I opened my mouth, I had an evil tone, which honestly, wasn’t my fault. Something about Penny rode at me. I think just looking at her mangled my brain. Because instead of saying, ’Hey Roone, we’re hanging out today,’ I said, “Actually, Roone, why don’t you take the day off today? You’re probably exhausted from your workout. Penny, you can accompany me, and we won’t need the cars. We’ll be on foot.”
Her jaw unhinged. Roone glared at me, but he said nothing. After all, what could he say?
Penny, on the other hand, wasn’t taking any of this lying down. “That’s insane, Your Majesty. The whole city is aware you’re here. Half of Europe is aware that you’re here. We won’t be able to walk ten feet without getting mobbed. And you think it’s a good idea for me to handle this alone? I’m definitely going to need Roone and the traveling team.”
I shook my head. “Nope, just you.” I turned to Roone. “Roone, can you employ decoy protocols? I want you to make it nice and flashy. Make sure everyone sees him, preferably with a model or someone as they head toward West End or Covent Garden or somewhere like that.”
Roone shook his head even as he sighed. “Your Majesty.” His voice was slightly condescending. “I have to agree with Penny on this. It’s not wise.”
“Are you questioning my authority?” I asked him.
Roone didn’t skip a beat. “Yeah, actually, I am. You’ve lost the plot, mate. After everything that’s happened, you really want to take your chances by being out in public without the proper kind of guard?”
“First, Penny Marsh here has already saved my life more than once, so I’m sure she’s up to the task again. Second, must I remind you, I saved your ass in more than enough scrapes? Third, I’ll be in disguise. And fourth, everyone will be looking for a big, old, splashy, pompous outing. No one will be looking for me escaping through an employee backdoor, with my friend in tow, to take pictures in the city. Plus, I’ll have a beard.”
Roone chuckled then. “You still have that tatty thing?”
I nodded. For Penny’s benefit, I explained. “I dated this actress when I was at Eton. She had a whole paparazzi thing going. So we had to disguise ourselves. She made herself look like a lad and gave me a beard so I wouldn’t be seen. I still have it. I use it from time to time when I want to go incognito.”
She sighed. “Leave it to you to not do the whole glasses-and-a-hat thing.”
I shrugged. “Oh, I’ll still do that, but this will make it a little bit easier. So what do you say, Penny? Are you up for the challenge?”
“You ask me that as if I have a choice.”
Her words made me remember that day in my office when she’d asked me if it was her king commanding her or her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, you wanker.
It also reminded me of what had happened after that. When I dared her to leave me, to walk away from me, and she hadn’t. Judging by the flare of her eyes and the slight parting of her lips, she remembered too.
She cleared her throat. “Fine, I’m ready to go whenever you are.”
I clapped my hands together and rubbed them. “Excellent, we’re going to have a blast.”
* * *
Sebastian …
God, it felt good to be me again, the real me: unencumbered and free. Somehow, next to me, Penny looked anything but unencumbered and free. She looked uncomfortable. She looked stressed out.
“Would you relax? This is fine. No one’s going to recognize me. It’s okay.”
“Easy for you to say; you don’t have to worry about keeping our monarch alive. And right now, there’s no heir to the throne except for your cousins, Prince Ashton and Prince Aidan. And Prince Ashton leaves a lot to be desired as a monarch. I know what that would do to the people, so my number one goal for right now boils down to keeping your sorry ass alive.”
“Your Majesty,” I reminded her with a teasing note in my voice. At least I hoped it sounded teasing. It’d all go a lot better if she at least attempted to relax around me.
She glared at me. “Your Royal Fucking Cocky Majesty.”
I grinned. “There you are. I’d wondered if you’d ever come back.”
“Yeah well, it’s hard navigating when I’m talking to the king and when I’m talking to my ex.”
“How about for the rest of today, you just talk to your ex. And maybe we just pretend for a moment we don’t hate each other.”
“I don’t hate you.”
I sighed. “I don’t hate you either.” It was the truth, one I had maybe been avoiding, but she had to know. “It’s just this whole thing … it’s just that you and I can’t be.”
Her words came out in a rush, reminding me of Len. “You think I don’t know that? I regret that I had to lie to you. I regret everything that happened. I knew better. I knew who I was.”
“Maybe we don’t have to talk about this right now. I just want to take some pictures and enjoy the day. Is that okay?”
She shrugged. “Fine, as you wish, Your Majesty.”
“Okay, I know, I can be a bit of an ass.”
She laughed then. “A bit?”
“Okay, okay, fine. I’m working on it.”
After that, she relaxed some. She even looked like she was starting to have a good time as we traipsed through Covent Garden, and then SoHo. Along the way I shot photos, sometimes surreptitiously shooting her. Yes, I knew I was a glutton for punishment, and I also knew that it was sort of creepy, but I couldn’t help myself. She looked happy and at peace … kind of like she used to in New York when we would be on our own photo excursions, having fun and relaxing. “Are you happy to be back?”
She frowned. “Back? In the UK? I’ve always enjoyed London. I’ve only been here twice though, both times for work. I was once to
uring guard for your mom, so I was working, but one night we went out and it was really fun.”
“Is this your first time to actually enjoy it like a normal person?”
“This is hardly enjoying London like a normal person. I’m working.”
“You know what I mean. We’re sort of having fun. I’m not making you work too hard, am I?”
“It’s fine. I like the city. It’s got a great vibe to it. When I was young, I used to dream about living a bohemian artist lifestyle in some place like New York or London, but I guess that wasn’t meant to happen.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Are you happy to be home?”
“Oh, home? Um, sort of. It’s good to see my family. It’s strange though.”
“Oh yeah, all hail the conquering hero. I bet you love that though … recognition for a job well done. No one thinks you’re a screwup now.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re putting together bits and pieces of what I told you with the reality.”
I nodded. “It’s a little weird, I’ll admit, but I think I have a better understanding of you now that I know who you actually are.”
“Isn’t that how it usually goes?”
I shrugged. “I guess. Your Dad is really proud of you though.”
“Yeah, he is. After all, I saved you. But I wonder if I hadn’t actually saved you, if you’d have just come home on your own, would he be just as proud?”
“I think you underestimate your father. In my interactions with him, he always sounds proud of you.”
“I wish I could explain. You don’t understand. I know that they’re proud, but he has never looked at me with the same kind of pride he reserves for my brother.” She shrugged. “The blatant favoritism … it hurts. I tried not to let it bother me. I tried to just stay steeled, but it still hurts.”
“I guess I never had to deal with that.”
“Have you talked to Lucas?”
“Yeah. A few times. I was going to invite him for my birthday.”
“Oh, good. It’ll be good for you to have his support. I know he’ll love every moment of it, and I guess it will be nice to see him.”
