“Um, what?” Courtney looked between us.
“Shit.” I looked around wildly. I had no idea what I was looking for, since the cat was clearly out of the bag, and listening to the girl start laughing hysterically, the cat wasn’t only out, it was screeching loudly. I cocked a brow at Ryan who shrugged uncomfortably.
“What’s so funny?” Ryan asked, his confusion as plain on his face as mine.
“And I thought my life was fucked up.” The redhead continued to laugh. I bristled at her comment. I knew our situation was fucked up… we both did, but I didn’t like hearing it from some outsider.
“Hey now.” I took a threatening step toward the stupid girl. Ryan’s chest puffed out at the supposed threat from me and he shook his head, clearly thinking he was protecting her. Why would he protect her?
“You remember my sister, Philip.” That was why she looked familiar. She and Ryan looked nothing alike, but I vaguely remembered meeting her on one of her visits a few months back. I felt my face heat as I thought about how I just outed myself. Dammit. Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She sounded hurt as she lay eyes on Ryan. I rolled my eyes. Yeah, like a homosexual relationship with one of your teachers is something you tell your older sister.
“When was I supposed to do that, Court? You’re always so wrapped up in your own life, the only time you call me is when I’m pissed at you... and then you don’t stop calling.” These two had some serious issues. I knew Ryan had some things he kept bottled up, but hearing the hurt in his voice made me ache for him. From the brief amount he’d confided in me, he wanted a normal relationship with his sister, but there were so many things that they didn’t see eye to eye on, too many years of pain, distrust, and neglect. Even though she was biologically quite a few years older, any person looking or hearing them would assume the opposite. I made a mental note to find out what her story was because she obviously hadn’t grown up the same way that Ryan had.
I turned away and busied myself with my phone for the rest of their conversation. It was a private brother sister moment and I didn’t want to intrude. “Sorry I ruined your night,” she finally said and looked between us. I shrugged. She hadn’t ruined our night, it had been pretty much ruined since Abby told me about Sylvia.
“You didn’t. I’m glad you came, the fight had been eating at me too. Call me when you get home so I know you made it home safe.” He walked her to the door.
“It was nice seeing you again, Mr. Marks,” she said awkwardly. I decided to put her out of her misery. She really didn’t know how to process what she’d just seen. I hoped for all our sakes she didn’t divulge our secret.
“Call me Philip,” I said smiling softly. All the air puffed out of my lungs when she walked out the door. “She won’t tell anyone?”
“What? Of course not. She may be a clumsy headcase at the best of times, but she’s my sister. She would never do anything intentional to hurt me,” he said confidently. I didn’t share his confidence but there really wasn’t anything other than praying that he was right and she wouldn’t out us.
RYAN
Things had been better than ever. My relationship with my sister was good—eeven after walking in on her having sex with her boyfriend and the awful dinner she “cooked” for us, since no one could ever consider what my sister did as real cooking. The girl was an absolute menace. Thank God her friend Tiffany had arrived with a pizza instead of us trying to shovel that disgusting meal into our mouths. I was proud of my sister though, I could tell she was trying and to me that was all that mattered.
So, when I got a call from the police one morning about a week after the dinner, I was in shock.
“Ryan Anderson?” The gravelly voice said into the phone.
“Yes, that’s me.” I shook with fear over what he was going to say. Had something happened to Court? Or had they completed their investigation into mom’s death? I didn’t know.
“Mr. Anderson, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but after our investigation we don’t believe your mother’s overdose was accidental. We believe she was murdered.”
“She was murdered?” I collapsed on my bed in shock. Shit. I had wondered about that but I didn’t want to believe it.
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry. I need to confirm if you have a sister.” All the blood drained from my face. Why the hell would he ask about Court?
“Yes, why? Is there something wrong?”
“We found a message in your mother’s cell phone threatening your sister’s life. We are still investigating, and we’ve made a call to her as well, but your sister needs to be careful.”
“Thank you, detective. I will make sure to relay and enforce that message to her immediately.” This was so much bullshit. Everything had been going great and now there was a big fat monkey wrench thrown in the mix. How was I going to protect Court when she lived two hours away?
A half an hour later, I barely remembered the conversation I just had with her, especially after she hyperventilated on the phone and damn near burned down another apartment with the cookies she was baking. It was a helpless feeling living so far away from her.
I walked into the large lecture hall really late. Philip shot me a funny look but didn’t comment on my tardiness. I was glad I was in college and not high school where the teacher would make me announce to everyone why I was late. I moved to the front and took my seat beside Sissy.
“What happened? You look like you’re gonna puke,” Sissy whispered next to me.
“My mom, they got the coroner’s report. She was murdered,” I choked out.
“What?” she whisper-screamed, which was ridiculous since the entire hall looked in our direction. Sissy turned bright red and dropped her head down. “What the hell are you doing here, Ry?”
“I can’t be alone right now, okay?” I whispered back, hoping Philip wasn’t hearing us and the last thing I needed was to be kicked out of class. “If I dwell on it, it’ll drive me crazy. Supposedly, whoever did this threatened my sister.” More than I wanted to divulge came tumbling out of me. I didn’t usually share a lot about my family, but Sissy knew more than most people. She was the best friend I had.
“Shit, are you okay? Do you need to go see her?” she whispered back. Philip was eyeing us. When I locked eyes with him, his eyebrow shot up in question, so I shook my head subtly.
Later, after class was over I made my way to Philip’s office. We were making good progress on the case study and worked on it as often as possible. We mostly worked on the weekends when we could interview kids in the system.
As I was about to knock on the door, Candy walked up. I groaned in frustration. I didn’t have the time or patience to deal with her today. “I know there’s something going on with you and Professor Marks.” It was like a punch to the gut. Her smug smile made me want to hit something.
“What?” I laughed trying to play off her accusations as ridiculous. “That’s insane. I was chosen by the department head to work on a case study with him.”
“Yeah, I’m not buying that. I heard you never turn down a good fuck and I’m the best. Rumor has it you’ve been on a dry spell for the last couple weeks.” She trailed her hand down my biceps and I cringed taking a step back from her.
“I have grown up a lot since my mother was murdered,” I seethed. Even though her eyes went wide with that information, she kept her smug smile in place.
“What was Professor Marks doing in your dorm room for hours on Friday?” She raised a brow.
“We were working.”
“Bullshit, so here’s the deal. A threesome. You,” she stuck her long nail in my chest, “me, and the professor. Or, I’m going to the head of the department.”
“You’re deranged. There’s nothing going on between us.” I started to open the door to his office but Candy stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“Why is it that every time you go into his office he locks the door?”
“I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last person on earth. Stay the hell away from me, Candy. I tried to be nice, but this fatal attraction thing you got going on is disgusting. Run along before I accuse you of attempted blackmail and sexual harassment.”
My threat didn’t work. She smirked as she started backing away. “This isn’t over, Ryan. I’ll get proof and then you’re both going down. It’s your choice how you go down.” The innuendo in her tone was clear. Why in the hell would she choose me, us? It couldn’t be that she couldn’t find two other guys, so what was it? I shook my head as I walked into Philip’s office. Could this day get any worse?
Philip was sitting behind his desk with an eyebrow raised. I nearly broke down right then and there. I needed a meeting. The best way to air out all my frustrations about my mom was to listen to all the other people talk about their addicted family members. It was calming and helped put things in perspective, in addition to feeling there were others out there too. “I just came by to ask if you could pick up Abby today. I need to hit a meeting, and I got some... news.”
“What kind of news?” Pushing the top of the laptop down, he stood up from his seat behind his desk.
Instead of sobbing, I started pacing the office. To the door, back to the desk. Repeat. “She fucking put my sister at risk. How could she do that? I mean, I knew their relationship was strained, but I was curious… no, not curious, pissed the hell off with Court when she dismissed our mother. When she told me the only time mom called her was to borrow money, I lashed out at her.” The weight of the guilt from the words I spewed at my sister had me stopping, looking up at Philip, expecting to see his condemnation. The look I’d been waiting for, the one telling me that I was just a stupid, screwed-up kid. “The things I blamed and accused her of, and now? It’s looking like Courtney was right. She made my sister expendable. I feel so guilty. How could my mother do this to her?” I was rambling, pacing, pulling my hair in frustration. I defended my mother, and come to find out she had treated Court like a fucking ATM.
Philip stood there calmly, no trace of emotion, no trace of disgust. That was probably even more nerve wracking but I was too far gone to even attempt to figure that out. “I’ll pick Abby up today. How is Courtney taking the news?”
“She had a full-blown panic attack and almost burned down another apartment,” I nearly shouted, the itch was starting again, crawling all over me. It was all too much. Remembering the terror I felt when she said she couldn’t breathe, and told me she felt like dying. My sister and I had way more in common than I ever thought. “I can’t protect her from here.”
“Ryan, she has Brice,” he said, walking around his desk, blocking the path I was creating between it and the door. “I only met him that one time but I could tell he would die before he let anything happen to her. Plus, there was that cop next door.”
He was right. My heart started to slow it pummeling pace. I drew in the first deep breath I’d taken in hours. Brice and Derek would protect her. It didn’t make me feel any less guilty about what I had said to her a few months back. What if I hadn’t forgiven her and something bad had happened? I never would have forgiven myself.
“She’s the only family I have left.”
He wrapped his arms around me and my whole body wracked with sobs. I cried for my mother and myself, but most of all I cried for my sister. Praying to anyone that was listening that they would catch the man responsible and Court would be okay. Through the tears, he continued to whisper in my ear, rub my back in comforting circles until I was able to take a steady breath. Whatever we had between us wasn’t just scratching an itch and calming my mind. This here, it helped lessen the pain. It was Philip. No one else, not even the good days with my mother, did I ever feel such a sense of relief. Wanting to stay in his arms, but knowing I couldn’t, I pulled away.
Philip needed to know of Candy’s accusations but there was nothing left in me to go down that road now too. I just didn’t have the strength to do it. “Thanks,” I said with an awkward smile. “I gotta go.”
“Ryan, wait.” He pulled me back into him, gave me the sweetest kiss I’d ever received. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay? You know I’m here if you need me.”
Ignoring the latter, I opted for, “As long as they catch the guy before he hurts my sister, I’ll be fine.”
The next couple days, I focused on work, school, and Abby during the day and found myself wrapped up in Philip every night. I called my sister every day to make sure everything was okay. She always made out that she was fine, but I could tell she was scared. It had been like pulling teeth to get her to tell me what happened with the dead roses and the pictures the sick fuck kept sending her. She always assured me that she was safe, though. Brice had it under control. I was thankful for that, and hoped like hell Brice had her back like she said.
I was lying in bed one night, Philip spooning my back when my phone rang. I jumped from the bed to grab it before I missed the call. “Hello?”
“Ryan, come quick. That man is outside my house,” Martha sounded panicked. I couldn’t blame her.
“We’ll be right there, Martha. Call the police and stay away from the windows until we get there.”
“I’m upstairs with Abby and I have my shotgun ready in case he breaks in,” she said softly into the phone. I could hear Abby crying in the background as I hurriedly got my clothes on.
“Stay out of sight. We’re coming.” I hung up the phone. Philip was already getting dressed.
We were a block down the street when I saw dark smoke billowing from the house in the light of the moon. My blood ran cold. “Philip, you have to drive faster.”
Oh God, no. Not Abby and Martha too. I’d just dealt with the death of my mother. Their deaths would break me for sure. We arrived on screeching tires and I looked on in horror as Abby’s face was pressed up against the bedroom window, her little fists banging against the double-paned glass. “Abby!” I screamed as I rushed from the car. There were a couple neighbors outside, everyone scrambling around, calling out to make sure the fire department had been called.
“Does anyone have a ladder?” Philip’s voice thundered over the growing crowd.
“I do,” The next-door neighbor ran to his garage and pulled the ladder out.
“It’s okay, Abby. We’re coming. Hold on, princess.” I doubted she could hear me, and before I knew it the ladder was pushed against the side of the house and Philip handed me a tire iron from his trunk.
“Martha told me all the windows are bolted. You need to be careful, because outside air can fuel the fire and could cause an explosion. Make sure the door to the bedroom has been shut. Crack it slightly first to balance the air, before you break through.”
“What about Martha? And where the fuck is the fire department?” I yelled out, starting to climb the ladder.
“She’s probably with Abby, tell her to climb down right after you’ve got Abby.” I found it hard to believe, since I couldn’t see the woman. Knowing the feisty broad, she’d have broken the window and jumped with Abby before the fire got near them. I didn’t express that bit of logic though. Philip and I both needed to believe that they were okay. When I got to the top of the ladder, I motioned for Abby to back away and then hit the glass once gently, cracking it, then barely waiting a half a second before hitting it as hard as I could. It shattered.
“Abby, where’s Martha?” I reached up for her. The ladder was only max fifteen feet. “She went downstairs. I’m scared.”
“I’m sure she’s fine, princess, but we have to get you out of here, okay?” She nodded her head vigorously, coughing like crazy, but managed to climb out the window gingerly trying to avoid the broken glass. I put her on my back, her hands wrapped securely around my neck, and I started to climb back down when an explosion rocked the ladder an
d flames burst out the window above my head, and then we were falling.
PHILIP
My heart stopped beating momentarily as the ladder tilted away from the house, falling to the ground as flames roared out of Abby’s bedroom window. Even as Ryan was falling, he twisted midair so he could land on his stomach instead of his back, saving Abby’s life. There was nothing I could do to stop the momentum of the ladder, even though I was standing at the bottom, attempting to hold it in place. The force of air out the window pushed it back too suddenly for me to keep it stead. Thankfully, I was able to stop its speedy decent, but not enough to halt both Ryan and Abby from tumbling to the ground. I rushed to them, smelling the stench of smoke all over as I heard the sound of sirens blaring in the distance. Abby was coughing and crying as she got off of Ryan’s back. Her bare feet were bloody. As she rolled away and pushed Ryan’s shoulder, I heard him groan before his head turned to the side. I kneeled down next to him, taking Abby to sit in my lap.
“Hey, don’t move. You could be seriously hurt.”
“Nah. But damn that hurt. Are you all right, princess?” He pushed up onto his elbows, then flipped himself over on his back.
“Martha,” she whimpered. Her bottom lip wobbled as she started to cry and look back at the only place she probably ever felt safe, protected, loved. It broke my heart. Ryan sat up, pushed next to me, so we were basically cradling her between us as she sobbed.
There was nothing we could do for Martha. We didn’t even know for sure if she was still in the house, though I couldn’t imagine any scenario she would have escaped and left a child inside.
The fire roared and crackled, and every once in a while it would hit something new and pop, sizzle, or explode. Even as the fire department tried to put it out, it was roaring its anger. I watched, transfixed as they finally killed the flames.
Ryan picked Abby up. She was coughing badly from smoke inhalation and her bare feet still had glass in them. He walked her over to the ambulance, but when he tried to set her down, she clung to him. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. You need oxygen and the glass out of your feet.”
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