“I’ll see what I can do. I know a judge who is sympathetic to gay couples who want to adopt kids, maybe I could get Abby’s case before her.” He seemed a little wary but at the same time the wheels were turning in his head.
“There’s just one problem.” I sighed in frustration. “Ryan.”
“Ryan is tough, he had to be to grow up the way he did. He’ll make it through this.”
“God, I hope so. I can’t lose him Daniel. I fucking love him.”
PHILIP
Five days. It had been five long days at the hospital waiting for Ryan to wake up. The swelling had gone down on its own, which pleased the doctors. It was just a matter of time before he woke up. I reached over and brushed his hair from his eyes. He was breathing on his own, and if someone didn’t know, they’d think he was just sleeping. His bruises were gone, he looked perfect. But he always looked perfect to me. The doctors said they were confident there was no brain damage. It was just a painful waiting game.
Abby stayed with Courtney while I was at the hospital. Daniel was able to get the court decision reversed until our scheduled hearing to plead our case. Abby came bouncing into the room with Courtney hot on her heels. “God you’re fast.” Courtney smiled. “I’m out of shape.”
“Has he woken up yet?”
“No, Abby bean, not yet, but soon, okay?” I saw her face fall briefly but she covered it with a smile.
“Ryan, you need to wake up or you’re gonna miss the hearing.” She pouted, leaning over the side of the bed, talking directly into his ear. “Do you think he can hear me?”
“I don’t know but the doctors said he might be able to. That’s why we talk to him all the time in hopes that he comes back to us.”
“What happens if he doesn’t wake up before the hearing?” She looked up at me, turning away from Ryan. Her lip quivered. “Will they send me away again?”
“Abby, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll do everything in our power to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Courtney tried to soothe her. Abby grabbed Ryan’s hand and squeezed it lightly. I jumped from my chair when I saw his finger twitch.
“Oh my God, Ryan?” Leaning over him I watched as his lashes fluttered. His lips moved but no sound came out. I pushed the call button for the nurse. “Abby’s right here holding your hand.” His eyes opened briefly and a smile graced his lips before he fell back to sleep.
“Ryan?” Courtney and Abby shouted at the same time.
Abby looked as if she was about to cry. “Why did he go back to sleep? What’s happening?”
A nurse walked in smiling. “That happens with head injuries as severe as his, darling. Now that he’s woken up once, he will wake up for longer and longer periods. It’s good news.”
“See Abby?” I smiled the first genuine one I had in almost a week. Ryan was going to be fine. It might be a few more days but he would get through it.
I had taken to sleeping in the chair next to Ryan’s bed. I wasn’t technically supposed to be there after visiting hours but the nurses let it slide. My head was laying on the bed next to his hand late that night when I felt fingers running through my hair. Looking up, I saw Ryan’s eyes on me. He was smiling. “Hey.”
“How are you feeling? Should I call the nurse?” He shook his head.
“Water?” he croaked. His throat was obviously sore from the lack of use over the last week.
“I’ll call the nurse, I don’t know what you’re allowed to have.” I pushed the button.
“How’s Abby?”
“Shh, don’t talk until I know if I can get you some water or something.” I squeezed his hand. “Abby is good. She’s at Courtney’s house for the time being.” He looked confused.
“We have a hearing in two weeks. I’m appealing the court’s decision to take Abby away. The judge gave me temporary custody until then. It was either that or they were sending her to a group home.”
The nurse walked in before he could react and started checking his vitals. “You gave everyone quite the scare. No more going after kidnappers like that, got it? Doctor’s orders.” She smiled at him as she began changing out his IV.
“His throat is dry, but I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to give him any water.”
“Yes, water is fine. Sip it slowly, we wouldn’t want it coming back up. You’ve been out a long time.”
I walked over to the hospital tray and filled the plastic cup with water and put the straw to his lips. He sipped it slowly before nodding his head that he was done. “Thank you.”
His eyes closed again but this time it didn’t freak me out. I breathed a sigh of relief and laid my head back on the bed.
RYAN
It was another week after that first day that I’d woken up before they let me go home, on bedrest. The headaches were killer; they nearly had me blacking out from the pain. I never had migraines before but those headaches were like what I imagined a migraine would be. My eyes were sensitive to the light and I hated every second of it. The doctor told me it was normal for the severe concussion I had, and if it didn’t stop in a week or two I needed to go get another scan.
They lessened as the days went on, but the stress of the upcoming hearing made them more frequent. Besides the debilitating headaches, I was the happiest I’d ever been. Philip and Daniel had cleaned out my apartment and moved everything to Philip’s house… well our house. It was weird saying that but not unpleasant.
Abby had been excited to see that Philip left her room just the way she had it minus the few clothes and toys he’d packed for her. The foster mother said she’d thrown all of Abby’s things away, which I was still pissed about. Her son was fine. I’d heard on the news that he had made a full recovery, yet still the crazy woman blamed Abby for her own stupidity. If she’d listened in the first place, her son wouldn’t have been hurt.
I put my sunglasses on and walked into the living room where Abby and Philip waited. Abby’s long blonde hair was piled high on top of her head. Today was a somber occasion. We were finally laying Martha to rest. Abby definitely looked the part with her sad eyes and black dress. “C’mon princess, let’s go say goodbye to Martha.” I held out my hand and she clasped it as we walked outside.
It was a bright sunny day and the cemetery was full of people. It wasn’t until then that I realized just how many people Martha had touched in her life. She’d been an incredible woman. Philip had written a beautiful obituary that’d been in the local papers. He also posted it to various social media accounts, trying to get the word out about this amazing person.
“You did a great job with the ceremony, Philip. Everything looks beautiful.” I squeezed his hand as we took our seats.
People got up one by one to speak about Martha’s kind spirit and generosity. I had no idea if any of her former foster kids attended and hoped that a few of them were there, giving their respect to the woman that tried to protect and love, even for the short time she had them. I didn’t get up to speak since I was still prone to occasional dizzy spells as well as not feeling like I’d known Martha very well. I watched as little Abby rose from her seat and stood behind the microphone. The preacher pulled it down a bit so she could reach it and she cleared her throat.
“I didn’t know Martha very well, but she took better care of me than anyone else had before. She was kind and loving and she didn’t deserve what happened to her, and… if it weren’t for me… she would still be alive. I’m so sorry, Martha.”
I rushed over to pick her up in my arms before steering her back to our seats in the front row. Sitting down with her on my lap, I rubbed her back, speaking soothingly in her ear. “This is not your fault, princess. You can’t control the actions of others. You can only control your actions and be the best person you can be… the one Martha would be proud of, yeah?” She nodded her head, tucking her head firmly in the side of my neck. She cuddled close through the rest of the service.
As we were getting ready to leave, a belligerent-looking woman
stopped us in our tracks. “So, you’re the little girl that got the old bat killed?” Philip went to stand in front of us, since I was still holding Abby in my arms. “I was just asking a question,” she slurred.
Who the hell is this woman?
“You need to leave.”
“You know,” she continued her rant with no regard to anyone in hearing distance. “I heard the old bat left her fortune to her last foster kid and her gay friends. I’m guessing that’s you. I can’t believe she didn’t leave me anything, since putting up with that crazy old broad for eight years. It’s me who deserves that money more than a stupid kid who was only with her for a couple weeks.”
“I’ll repeat this again. You need to leave,” Philip said calmly.
Well, fuck that. This drunken bitch didn’t deserve calm. “Get out of here,” I demanded, tired of people being cruel to a little girl. “Maybe if you weren’t a junky, then she might have. Besides, even if you had all that money, you’d be dead snorting it in a week.” I pushed past her and held Abby close as we left the cemetery.
The next day was the disciplinary hearing at the university, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. As I was pulling my tie off later that night when Philip walked into the room, his hands came down on my shoulders and he massaged them lightly. “Are you worried about tomorrow?”
“No, I don’t care either way,” I said sighing in pleasure as he kneaded my shoulders.
“Then what has you so stressed out?”
“This stuff with Abby. How do we stop people like that stupid junkie from hurting her?”
“We can’t all the time. We just have to love her and remind her that people can be cruel but the only opinions that matter are the people that love her. It’s impossible to try to make sure she’s never hurt. It’s something I’m sure every parent struggles with.”
“You’re right. I’m most worried about the court hearing in a couple days. Everything seems to be converging on us all at once. It’s hard to breathe thinking that the judge could take her away from us.”
“I love you.” The words slipped through his lips as easily as a breath.
“What?” I turned to look at him. His eyes were wide like he hadn’t meant to say it, but I had no idea why he was afraid.
“Uh, I mean. Shit.” He went to move away from me, but I grabbed his arm to turn him back and face me.
“Why do you look so scared?”
“I know how you are about feelings and didn’t want to scare you,” he said staring into my eyes.
“Shit, okay, you’re right, but before I get into my feelings there’s a couple things I need to tell you.”
He looked like he knew that I had baggage. It was in the way I carried myself. All my rules that I’d once had, Philip came in and demolished. “My mom was as good as she could be with her drug problem, but some of the guys that came to the house and gave her drugs… well they didn’t want her. This one guy always brought me presents. It was weird but my mom seemed to like him so I shrugged it off. One night I guess my mom had passed out while he was still there and he crawled in my bed. He told me he loved me and made me touch him. I was twelve. When my mom found out she up and moved us to a different part of town and never spoke to the guy again. After and because of that night, I never wanted to fall in love because he’d somehow tainted it for me, Telling me how much he loved me, while having my hand on him just…. I know in here”—I pointed to my head—“he was sick and depraved, but he’d taken something from me that night that I never got back until I met you.” Philip was silent beside me, sitting down on the bed. The silence was oddly comforting, so I finished with the honest words that came from my heart. “At first, I was just going to keep you at arms’ length, but it was amazing how quickly you broke all my walls down. You and Abby taught me something profound and also a little scary. You taught me what real love is. I love you too. More than I ever thought possible.” I pulled him to me and kissed him, hard. It was the perfect kiss and I poured every bit of myself into it. We kissed for long minutes until my head started spinning. “Shit. Dizzy.”
“We better stop. You’re not cleared by the doctor for strenuous activity.” Philip pushed me to lay back down.
“At least the headaches have nearly stopped.” I shrugged, my head still spinning slightly. Philip kneeled down on the side of the bed next to me and started pulling off my shoes and socks. He undressed me like a child but the gesture was super sweet. I knew then, as he got in bed and wrapped me in his arms, that for the first time in my life I had a real home with people who loved me and I never wanted it any other way.
PHILIP
I didn’t care about this stupid disciplinary hearing at all. It was nearing the end of the semester, they’d already made me miss so much class time, I’d decided I wasn’t going back to teaching. I had some ideas about what I could do and none of it included teaching entitled kids like Candy. The only reason we even decided to go to the disciplinary hearing in the first place was for Abby. The custody hearing was in a couple days and this whole thing needed to be settled before we went to court.
We walked into the administration building past the camera crews all clambering to get a piece of the story. The receptionist nodded her head. “Please have a seat, they’ll call you in one at a time.”
“No,” I said forcefully. “We’re going in together.”
“That’s not allowed, Mr. Marks.” The woman bristled.
“Philip, it’s fine,” Ryan said softly. He was still wearing his sunglasses even though the light sensitivity had started to lessen. If he didn’t heal completely in the next few days, we were going to take him back to the doctor. They called me in first. Ryan squeezed my hand as I rose to my feet, then strode into the room confidently. This hearing was serious apparently, because all the higher-ups from the university were sitting in a line at a long table. I noticed the president of the university was in the middle, right in front of a single chair that was meant for me to sit in.
“Please sit,” he said firmly. I walked over and sat in the chair he’d indicated with my head held high. “Do you recognize these photographs?”
“Yes,” I stated simply. Looking down at the photograph of Ryan answering the door in his underwear.
“Well, what do you have to say in your defense?”
“Not that it matters, but I believe this has been a witch hunt. There are no photos of me actually touching Ryan or walking into his dorm room in his state of undress.”
“Well, no... but the video of you speaking with the little girl?” the president asked.
“Nowhere in that video did we acknowledge any kind of romantic relationship. We explained to a little girl why we couldn’t be together. She was living with me and wanted a real family with Ryan. You have no evidence of any wrong doing.”
“What about now?” another board member asked.
“Since I have been put on leave and Ryan was put on academic probation with the threat of removing his scholarship on baseless accusations from a jealous girl?” I lifted a brow at them. They started shifting in their chairs uncomfortably.
“But, uh, you are in a relationship with him now?”
“Does it matter? According to a conversation you had with Ryan, this meeting was just a formality and me losing my job was a foregone conclusion.”
“I, uh, I think we have enough to adjourn this meeting,” the president stuttered. The rest of the board looked at him warily.
“Wait, we need to vote,” the head of the board stopped everyone from getting up. “All those in favor of reinstating Professor Marks raise your hand.”
I was shocked to see every hand in the room rise, other than the president’s. They were all looking at him like he’d lost his mind. “Thank you, but no thanks. My teaching days are done. I have other plans for my future. This was solely to receive the clearing of my name for another more important hearing in a few days.”
I pushed myself away from the tab
le and stood.
“We’ll make sure to make a statement that the investigation is done and that the claims were unfounded,” the head of the board said. “It will be really hard to replace you.”
I walked out of the room with my head held high and a bright smile on my face. Ryan looked up from where he was slightly hunched over. My expression must have conveyed it all. He shot from his chair looking at me closely. “How did it go?”
“They reinstated me.” I smiled. Ryan looked confused for a second before I added, “I turned them down.”
All the board members walked out of the conference room a few minutes later. They looked at Ryan smiling warmly at him. “Your scholarship is fine, young man. There will be no academic probation.”
Ryan looked stricken. I knew he originally wanted to be a psychologist to help addicts, but he’d thought for weeks that dream was gone and had been brainstorming with me about what we could do to honor Martha as well as help people.
“Thank you, sir. We have other plans though.” He squeezed my hand. “We want to help people now, not wait for a degree that I may not even be able to use.”
“I understand. Your experience with this situation left much to be desired on the part of our university. Good luck in your future endeavors.” He nodded to us both and walked out of the administration building and stood in front of the waiting cameras. I watched through the glass doors as he spoke animatedly.
“C’mon, let’s go home.”
“I can’t wait to tell Abby the news. We’re one step closer to getting her permanently,” Ryan said excitedly.
RYAN
Once my head finally cleared and the dizzy spells were nonexistent, Philip decided it was time to show me the plans he’d had drawn up. We had been talking about the possibility of opening a treatment facility especially for kids in the foster care system, but we hadn’t settled on anything concrete. So when he asked me to go for a drive with him, I was a little confused.
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