His mouth closed over the temptation of her breast, pulling strongly, teeth scraping. He lifted his head and pressed his forehead against hers. “Leavin’ you is difficult.”
“So is murder. Get goin’, Remy.” Even as she commanded him, her fingers fisted in his hair and she pulled his head up.
Remy held his mouth inches from hers, looking straight into her eyes, so she’d know he meant what he said. “Don’ you go off anywhere alone. Stay with Saria and stay inside until I get back.”
She frowned at him. “Do you think I’m in danger?”
“I know you are.”
“Then stop makin’ everything an order and just ask nice like a normal person.”
Remy opened his mouth and then closed it again with a little bite of his teeth. “Blue, please do me a favor and stay here with my sister and be safe while I go try to catch a murderer.”
“Of course,” Bijou replied. “I don’ mind restin’. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do.”
Remy breathed a sigh of relief, caught the nape of her neck and kissed her hard. She tried to hold herself away from him, but he refused to back off, deepening the kiss until she relaxed into him with a little sigh of resignation. He kept kissing her. She finally kissed him back. It took discipline to stop when all he wanted to do was be a part of her, to lose himself in her fire and addictive taste.
He pressed his forehead tight against hers. “Restin’ is good. As much as you can. But no thinkin’ about anything. You have to wait for me to talk this out. I know it was a shock to find out about your leopard, but there are more of us than you think. We have rules that govern us and you have to abide by them. Saria is leopard, and she can answer any questions you have until I get back. Clearly, it isn’t something known and we don’ ever talk about it to outsiders.”
“Because you’d all be locked up as insane,” Bijou pointed out pulling back. She reached for the sheet and pulled it up over her breasts in sudden modesty.
“Because we’d be hunted and killed,” Remy corrected, needing her to understand the importance of absolute secrecy. He cupped her breasts through the sheet, making his claim on her and her body. Satisfaction flooded when his thumb found her nipple a hard peak.
Bijou recoiled subtly, a slight withdrawing, not quite pulling away from him, but he felt her retreat as a stab around his heart. He actually put his palm over his heart to ease the ache. He and Bijou had a long way to go, and he realized she had trusted him before, so easily, but now there was a space between them and he couldn’t quite breach it. She definitely was his physically, but she’d moved away from him emotionally and he wanted her back.
He sighed as he slid out of bed. “I know you’re confused about us and the leopard . . .”
She held up her hand and shook her head. “I’m not thinkin’ about that yet. I’m just pretending you bit me and infected me with some rare blood disease and it will all go away.”
She made him smile. No matter what, her sense of humor crept in at times when she was afraid or even angry. She had every right to be confused.
“Talk to Saria, chere, if you need questions answered before I can get back. This will take some time.”
“I’m fine with it takin’ time. Take all the time you need.”
That wasn’t her sense of humor. She was quite serious. She wanted him gone, just as she hadn’t wanted him in her bed when they’d returned from the swamp. He went into the bathroom and pulled himself together as fast as possible, brushing his teeth and inspecting the rake marks across his side and chest. Robert had gotten in a few licks of his own and Remy hadn’t even noticed. There were a few bad bruises, the consequences of a strong leopard hitting another one. Robert would wake up with far worse.
He returned to the bedroom fully dressed to find Bijou wrapped in her robe, sitting by the open drapes. “I didn’t infect you with some rare blood thing, Blue. You do know that, don’ you? Your mere had to be leopard.”
Bijou deliberately pointed to the door. “Go.” The word didn’t come out as commanding as she would have liked.
Her treacherous heart melted every time she looked at him. She had to get over her adolescent hero worship. She’d been so silly, proving just how young and inexperienced she was by thinking he had real feelings for her. It was just sex between them, he’d admitted as much to her. She couldn’t even claim he had his own physical attraction to her—it was his leopard’s fascination with her leopard, which somehow made the entire affair even seedier.
She looked around her at the cracks and long rake marks down the walls. Now it all made sense. She knew exactly what made those claw marks. She groaned and covered her face with her hands.
Remy was an amazing man. Pure and simple. He was intelligent, had a good sense of humor, loved and protected family and he made her feel beautiful and safe. He knew what her life had really been like, not the fairy tale everyone else wanted to believe. She’d been so happy when he’d acted interested in her and when he’d kissed her . . . There was no going back.
There was a hesitant knock on her door, then Saria’s voice. “Are you hungry? I have a brunch made. Come get food.”
Bijou wanted to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over her head, but she refused to be a coward. She couldn’t blame Remy for her actions, and she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t had mad, crazy sex with him. Saria knew everything. She probably even knew about her wild romp in the swamp.
“I’ll be down in five minutes,” she called back.
She took a deep breath and held the sheet against her face for a moment, cooling the color, before tossing it aside in resignation and going to the dresser where her clothes were neatly folded. At least the dresser hadn’t sustained too much damage, but she found herself blushing at the memory of Remy sitting her atop it, his mouth and hands driving her insane.
“Maybe it’s the room,” she muttered aloud, glaring as she looked around. “Some kind of strange Cajun curse on anyone stayin’ here and they turn into the Rougarou. What other real explanation is there?”
She looked down at her body. She was bruised, but there was no fur. When she looked in the mirror her teeth looked like perfectly normal teeth. Bijou sighed and ran a brush through her thick, wild hair. That’s what she got for going to bed with wet hair. There was no taming it, but on the other hand, she had hair, not fur. It was black, not covered in rosettes.
She walked down the stairs a little reluctantly. There were so many questions she had, but more importantly, she had to apologize to her friend and offer to leave if she’d been flirtatious inadvertently with Saria’s husband. Whatever had put Saria on edge had to be her fault and she wanted to make certain they were okay. She didn’t have a lot of real friends, and she definitely didn’t want to lose Saria.
The moment she pushed open the door to the kitchen, the aroma of coffee hit her. She went straight to the coffeepot and poured herself a mug, aware of Saria putting plates on the small table in the kitchen. It was far more intimate than the guest dining room and ordinarily, Bijou much preferred it, but knowing she had to apologize made her even more self-conscious than normal.
She turned slowly, leaning against the counter as she faced Saria.
Saria flashed an encouraging smile. “I’ll get the food out of the warmer.”
“Before you do, I just want to say how sorry I am. I know you’ve been upset with me and I honestly—I swear to you, Saria—I didn’t realize how flirty and awful I’ve been. I’m not usually like that, I had no idea I was doin’ anything that might disturb you or Drake.”
Saria’s eyebrow shot up. “What are you talkin’ about?”
“You’ve been upset with me. Don’ deny it. And you’re not like that, so I had to have been doin’ something to get you riled.” Bijou ducked her head. “My father was some sort of sex addict and it colored my life. I didn’t want to be like him so I stayed away from men. Bodrie always made sex seem so cheap. And then I came here and . . .” She shook her head as her eyes stung and bur
ned and the lump in her throat grew so big she couldn’t talk around it.
“Bijou, don’ be silly. You’re not at all like Bodrie. Not for one moment.”
Bijou took a deep breath to try to stop herself from crying. “You didn’t see me with Remy, Saria. I was a crazy person. Worse than Bodrie ever was. And I figured out that you must have noticed me flirtin’ with Drake, but if I was, I didn’t know it, I didn’t mean to do it.”
“Bijou, seriously, you didn’ do anything at all. I’m pregnant. I told Drake this mornin’ and he’s on his way home.” Her voice changed, the laughter fading. “I was jealous. You look so beautiful, and I had no idea I was pregnant. But your leopard was comin’ into heat and my leopard was crazy, which made me that way.” Her words came out in a little rush. “I didn’t have any idea you were leopard or maybe I would have put the two together, but instead I had my jealous pants on. I’m the one who’s sorry, Bijou. I hope you can forgive me. When you needed me most, I was actin’ silly.”
Bijou allowed herself to breathe again. “You’re pregnant? That’s so awesome, Saria.”
Saria smiled. “It kinda is, isn’t it? I’m still gettin’ used to the idea.”
Bijou carried her mug to the table and put it down so she could finish setting the table while Saria got the food. The relief she felt that everything between her and Saria had gotten back to normal was tremendous. She placed flatware carefully and added napkins before sitting down to finish her coffee.
“I turned into sex pants and that’s far worse than jealous pants,” she admitted. “It was horrible. And we destroyed your room. I’ll pay to have it fixed, Saria.”
Saria burst out laughing. “My brother has already taken care of it. He and Drake can put it all back together. His leopard was the crazy one, rakin’ the walls.”
“Not exactly.” Bijou felt compelled to be strictly honest. “I definitely helped, and there was no leopard involved.”
“You are the leopard, Bijou,” Saria pointed out. “I know it’s difficult to take in . . .”
Bijou scowled at her. “Difficult?” She interrupted. “Insane. Impossible to believe. The memory is tryin’ to fade. I’m tryin’ to convince myself that there’s some kind of Cajun curse on that room, or your brother bit me and instead of the werewolf, I became a leopard.”
“When I was little, I followed my brothers into the swamp and saw them shift into leopards. I watched them. It was horrible because at first they stripped and who ever would want to see their brothers naked? I knew I’d be traumatized for life!”
Bijou scooped up fluffy scrambled eggs mixed with crabmeat and rice. “You’re talkin’ to the queen of trauma, remember? My father and his band and their groupies thought group sex in the livin’ room was appropriate behavior.”
“I suppose I can’t top that,” Saria agreed with a slight grin, “but I was still horribly traumatized.”
Bijou gave a little smirk. “I’m certain I would have been too.”
Saria laughed. “You little hussy. You’d only be lookin’ at Remy.”
Bijou’s smile faded. “I know. He’s all I’ve ever looked at, and a fat lot of good that did me. Maybe if I’d seen him shift into a leopard I would have run for the hills and never come back. How did you feel about the entire leopard business?”
“I was jealous. I wanted to be like them. The brotherhood, you know. They were so close and I always felt like an outsider,” Saria admitted. “We used to talk about that, remember?”
Bijou shook her head. “You were crazy about your brothers. You thought they walked on water. You never complained about them.”
“I didn’t?” Saria added, as she added panfried trout to her plate.
Bijou took a hot beignet. “The first thing I did when I came back home was go to the Café Du Monde and order coffee and beignets. I missed them so much.” She took a bite. “These are wonderful, Saria. You always were such a good cook. I guess all that cooking for your pere really helped. I’m not so good. We had a chef—well, several. Mostly women, and believe me, they didn’t want me in their kitchen.”
“It should have been your kitchen.” Saria was indignant on her behalf.
Bijou shrugged. “That satisfaction was in knowin’ they wouldn’t last very long. Bodrie would get tired of havin’ sex with them and the way they would cling to him. He’d fire them and hire the next pretty face.” She added the trout to her plate as well. “I took a cookin’ class once. It was a disaster. I’ll have to try some of your recipes when I get in my own place.”
Saria pressed her lips together for a moment, clearly contemplating how to word her next sentence, putting Bijou on alert. “You know my brother isn’t goin’ to let you out of his sight. He’ll be expecting to share your place or have you move in with him.”
Bijou forced a casual shrug. “Clearly we’re not on the same page about that. Wild sex might be fun, Saria, but it will never be enough for me. I want a man to look at me and love me the way Drake does you. I’ve waited a long time for that. I can’t help it if his leopard is crazy about mine and that’s why he’s so physically attracted to me.”
Saria frowned, stopping with a forkful of eggs halfway to her mouth. “That’s not why he’s attracted to you. Where would you get an insane notion like that?”
“Straight out of his mouth,” Bijou said, forcing herself to admit the truth and trying not to choke on the words. She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip just to give herself time to control the tears burning behind her eyelids. Damn Remy anyway for turning her into a weepy female.
“No way did he say that!”
Bijou nodded slowly. “He definitely told me last night, that it was all about the leopards and our uninhibited and wild and crazy sex was just an added bonus.” She blinked rapidly and looked down into the coffee cup. Luckily, Saria made it strong. She preferred tea in the afternoons, but when she first woke up, nothing tasted better than Cajun coffee.
“My brother is an idiot. I love him, and in most things, he’s right, but when it comes to women, I’m afraid he needs a good smack in the head.”
Bijou forced another shrug. “He can’ help the way he feels. And I can’ help the way I do. The leopards are just goin’ to have to get over it.”
“Mmm, sweetie, they won’t get over it. They bond lifetime after lifetime. They seek each other out. If you think Remy is goin’ to let you go easily, you’ve got another think comin’.”
“I don’ care,” Bijou said, lifting her chin stubbornly. “I’m not goin’ to be his sex toy. I’m not.”
“Are you sayin’ you don’ have feelings for him?” Saria asked, curiosity in her voice.
“He’s my biggest fantasy. He always has been. Maybe I even came back here to see if he was the man I always thought he was. No one else ever lived up to him, but it doesn’t matter how I feel. Not now. I’m not goin’ to play second fiddle to a leopard.”
“It isn’t like that,” Saria denied.
“Not for you, because Drake actually loves you. I was foolin’ myself that a man like Remy would fall in love with me.”
“And why wouldn’t he?” Saria demanded.
“He knows exactly who he is and what he wants,” Bijou said. “The truth is, I’m just findin’ that out about myself. It’s taken me this long just to realize I don’ want to tour or play huge venues. I don’ want the kind of life where I have no home or family. I didn’t even know until I came here that this was where home is to me.”
“You said yourself that Remy is someone you admire and respect—that he’s everythin’ you want in a man and no one compares to him.”
Bijou wasn’t going to deny it. She didn’t think she would find another man to compare with Remy. She found him the most beautiful man she’d ever come across. He had the heart to go with his looks.
“I’m so much younger than he is and he can’t help but look at me like I’m still a kid. I don’ blame him. I haven’t exactly acted mature. I fell into his bed immediately. Probably e
very woman he wants does that. I’m nothin’ special to him.” She managed a smile. “He didn’t fall in love with me, how dare him.”
“Okay, that’s not true. You’re leopard, Bijou . . .” Saria trailed off realizing she’d just said the wrong thing.
Bijou nodded. “Sadly, I’m well aware of that. Do you really think my mother was leopard? How would she ever have met Bodrie?”
“Bodrie had a lot of fans from all over the world and he traveled extensively. We aren’t the only lair, Bijou,” Saria pointed out. “Most of them are in the rain forests. Drake came from one in Borneo, but there are other places. Everyone likes music, and Bodrie, no matter what anyone says about him, was a music man. She probably went to his concert and he somehow spotted her.”
“I wouldn’t doubt that, Bodrie could spot a beautiful woman miles out. And she was beautiful,” Bijou conceded. “I saw a picture of her once. He had it in his room, by his bed, and I went in to get some money for lunch and it was there. He never took women into his bedroom, and he was really mad when he found me there.”
“You never went back to his bedroom?”
“Of course I did. The picture wasn’t there anymore. But I know there are things in the main mansion. I just haven’t gone there. I was hopin’ you’d go with me when I finally got up the nerve.”
“Of course I’ll go. Anythin’ you need me to do,” Saria said sincerely.
Bijou took a deep breath. She’d been skirting around the subject, but she was going to have to face the truth. “Tell me about being a leopard.”
“Drake and Remy can answer questions better than I can, but actually, Bijou, it’s really great. I’ve noticed we all prefer to stay near the swamp and bayous rather than the city, which is probably one of the reasons why you were driven to give up touring.” She turned her head toward the door leading to the dining room. Her hand went up indicating the need for silence. “Someone else is here.”
Bijou inhaled in an effort to catch the scent that may have alerted Saria to another’s presence. Her leopard appeared to be fast asleep and was no help whatsoever, at least until the door to the kitchen was shoved inward. Bijou leapt from her chair and instinctively placed herself between the door and Saria.
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