I leaned closer to kiss her head but stopped when I saw a dried puddle of blood on her pillow.
“Casey,” I mumbled and turned her on her back. My heart almost stopped when I saw blood on her mouth. “Casey . . . wake up.”
I tapped her cheeks, but she wasn’t responding. Her breathing was shallow, and I couldn’t hear her heartbeat.
“Amber!” I shouted at the top of my lungs which might have trembled the thin bedroom walls of the room.
Amber was probably blow drying her hair in her room at the time. She angrily came and stood at Casey’s bedroom door with a hair dryer in her hand. “What? Was I not clear enough before?”
But the heat of her anger vanished and was replaced by worry when she saw Casey unconscious in my arms. The hair-dryer dropped out of her hand, and she came running into Casey's bedroom.
“Casey . . . Casey . . .” She caressed her head and was freaking out. “What happened to her?” she enquired while following me out of the room.
“I don’t know,” I said while quickly running downstairs, carrying Casey in my arms.
Mary-Louise was still packing my luggage when she heard our screams and came running towards the stairs. “Oh, my God, Casey.” She grabbed Casey’s chin and gave it a shake to wake her up. But all in vain.
“What’s with all the noise?” Frank arrived grunting. He was the last person I wanted to see that time. He further angered me by playing the judge and accusing me of Casey’s condition. “There is blood on her face. What did you do?”
“Not everything bad that happens in your family is my fault, Frank,” I shouted at him and rushed out of the house.
“Mom, I am going with Duke. Follow us.” Amber instructed her mother while following me.
I drove the car like a getaway car. Not sure how many traffic rules I violated that morning. There was nothing in my mind except my dear Casey who was barely breathing. Amber called Walter to explain the whole situation and asked him to meet her at the hospital.
“Hold tight, honey. We are almost there,” I said gently stroking Casey’s head.
A squad car began to chase us—most likely for reckless driving. But I didn’t stop; I couldn’t afford to stop as my daughter’s life was at stake. Soon, I left the cops far behind and stopped only when I reached the hospital.
I was anxiously waiting in the waiting area along with Amber. Dr. O’Neil had been examining Casey for past half hour or so, and I was getting tense with every passing minute.
We were expecting McCarran family and Walter any minute then but had a couple of uninvited guests.
Cops.
The cops had finally tracked down my car and came to arrest me in the middle of that adversity.
Amber and I tried to explain the situation, but cops were adamant on arresting me.
They could have let it go if it was just about my reckless driving; I was within reason as a child’s life was at stake. But they were harboring ill feeling since I didn’t bother to stop when their squad car’s siren and light were on.
But how unrealistic it might sound, Frank arrived at the right moment and saved the day. He set them straight by literally pulling their ears.
Apparently, he could do that as he knew both of them. One of them was Tony, his long-time partner’s son whose diaper Frank changed when he peed all over him on the ‘Bring your child to work day.’ The other one was a troubled neighborhood kid who Frank showed the right path when he was caught red-handed shoplifting. He considered Frank his mentor.
Both of them were embarrassed that they let their ego got in the way of their work and apologized. Frank let them go but not before giving them wise teaching that law enforcement officers should serve the public—not misuse their authority as a medium to pursue a personal vendetta or grudge.
Well, Frank and I never saw eye to eye—no doubt about that. But it was probably his first selfless favor solely to me. The whole incident with cops made me rethink about how I felt for Frank. Frank was not as bad as I had thought until then. He had a big heart, but it was a pity that I was not in it.
We all then sat down in the waiting area. Walter was consoling Amber; Mary-Louise was reading a pocket bible; and Frank was—well, doing nothing worth mentioning.
Dr. O’Neil came out of ICU shortly after and I jumped at him at his first sight. “How is she?”
“And you are her—”
“Father. I am her father, Duke Kingsley.”
“Mr. Kingsley—did your daughter experienced shortness of breath, chest pain, or excessive sweating?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know about your own daughter?” The doctor was surprised at the lack of information that I had on my daughter.
“Yes, she does. She often complained about this when her grandfather put her to rigorous training for the marathon.”
“And you are . . . her mother? Am I correct?”
“Yes.”
“And what exactly did you do about her symptoms? Did you ever get her checked by a specialist?”
“Specialist of what? She is training for a marathon. Fatigue, shortness of breath, sweating—all happen during training. . . . Before you say anything, I am her grandfather, she is her grandmother, and he is her soon-to-be stepfather. Now, do I also need to introduce my aunt living in Vermont and first cousin in Baltimore before you tell me what’s wrong with her?”
“Heart failure!” Dr. O’Neil finally made the big revelation after Frank yelled at him.
We were looking at each other with surprise; it had put all of us in a bit a fix at what to do or say. How could it possibly be true? And nobody even considered challenging the diagnosis of the doctor.
Only I did.
And said, “With all due respect—you are a shitty doctor. She is only five-years-old. A child’s heart doesn’t just give up while sleeping.”
“Mr. Kingsley, I am a Harvard graduate, and if you have ever heard about that institution, you would know that they don’t produce shitty doctors. From what I can tell, your daughter’s heart must be defective from the birth, and her condition must be masked by some factor or another until now. And when it finally caught your attention, it was too late.”
“What do you mean it’s too late? Is she going to be all right?” Amber was scared, and she inadvertently held my hand while talking to the doctor.
“I can only hope so. We need to perform a heart transplant surgery. I will put her name on the waiting list, but the problem is that she doesn’t have much time and it could take forever until it’s her turn.”
It was times like that when we as parents needed to put aside our differences and be united for our daughter. I was appreciative that Amber took the initiative in that direction.
And I did the same.
I held Amber’s hand tightly and asked Dr. O’ Neil, “How much time does she have?”
“Two, maybe three—”
“Months?”
“Sorry to be blunt, but actually, days.”
I left Amber’s hand and covered my face to sob. Even the thought of losing Casey was devastating enough for me. I couldn’t let her die as long as her daddy was still alive.
“Take my heart.”
“Mr. Kingsley, this is no time for a joke.”
“I am not joking, doctor. Take my heart and save my daughter. I don’t need it.”
“Mr. Kingsley, you do realize that you will be dead without your heart, don’t you?”
“I don’t mind, really. I am useless anyway, and there is nobody in my life who will cry for me after I am gone.”
“I see you love your daughter very much, and trust me, I really admire what you are trying to do. But the law doesn’t permit me to do that. We can’t condemn a person to die to save another life. We need a heart of a person who is already dead. And even if you—”
“So, you need a dead person, huh? I can arrange that.”
I turned around, take a short run up and banged my head on the wall. I fell on the flo
or from the impact with my head split wide open. A stream of blood started gushing down from my forehead.
“Duke!” Mary-Louise shouted seeing my face covered in blood and ran for my help. She was the only one in the McCarran family that sympathized with me and was concerned about my well-being.
I was woozy but still alive. I stood up on my wobbly legs and smashed my head against the wall once more.
“Orderly . . . ,” Dr. O’Neil shouted to call for help. “Your husband is insane,” he then commented about me to Amber.
“Stop it, Duke. Please stop it.” Mary-Louise held me when I was about to bang my head again.
“My daughter is going to die, Mrs. McCarran. My little Casey.” I was sobbing my pain out on her shoulder which she kindly offered.
I soiled her shirt with my blood and tears, but she didn’t mind at all. That’s how mothers are. Only a mother—nobody else—can provide the much-needed care and support to the child which I desperately needed that time.
Mary-Louise continued to console me by giving me a hug and stroking my back, but I was nowhere near to being consoled. I had gone almost lunatic.
“Why her? She is so little. Are my sins too much that my daughter had to bear the cost? How much more do I have to suffer before God pardons me?”
Nonetheless, the matter of the fact was that Casey needed a heart. And I was adamant on saving Casey even if the price was my life. It might be my destiny—the redemption I was waiting for—and I was all up for it.
I tried to go hit my head on the wall again, but Mary-Louise put her hand on my bloody face and didn’t let me. She was fully trying to stop the bleeding before the orderly arrived, but it was too late.
I was getting woozy again and was about to fell on the floor like a sack of potatoes. But Mary-Louise held me tightly before I hit the floor. She had me lay down with my head placed on her lap.
The orderly arrived shortly when my eyes were flickering, and I was walking straight towards the white tunnel. My surroundings had turned dark, but a light of peace lit inside me.
I didn’t know how it felt during the last few minutes of life, but I was sure that it was it. And I was nothing more than happy that my end would bring life to my daughter as my eyes closed for forever.
Sorrow and grief had always been part of my self just like my shadow. I had been patient throughout, but I just didn’t have any strength left to bear anymore. I had already been heartbroken and unstable from Amber’s rejection, but Casey’s illness brought me to my knees. It was the last nail in the coffin which made me completely lunatic, and there would have been no better way to end the life.
“What happened?” I opened my eyes and found myself on the hospital bed in the causality. Dr. O’ Neil’s assistant was standing beside me holding my chart, and I asked, “How am I still alive?”
“Apparently, you have a hard skull,” he said while taking my wrist in his hand to check my pulse. “You caused the plaster of the hospital wall to crack but no concussion to you at all, sir. Just eleven stitches.
I put my hand on my forehead and found it wrapped in bandages.
“Why did you save me? I must die to save my daughter.”
“Why so? Do you even realize that your daughter is in need of an adolescent heart? You didn't let Dr. O’ Neil finish and started banging your head on the wall like a lunatic on the full moon night.”
“And even if your sacrifice could save Casey”—Mary-Louise came through the door—“do you think she could live her life without feeling guilty that her father had to kill himself to save her?”
“Mrs. McCarran . . .” I hugged her when she came close and broke in tears.
“Duke, that was wrong of you to do that. At the time when Casey needs you the most, you did something like this. How could you?”
At that moment, I realized it was wrong of me to try to kill myself. In that difficult time for Casey, I should have maintained my calm and stood beside her like a pillar shielding her from the danger on her life. Instead, I made it all about my redemption.
“I am sorry.” I hugged Mary-Louise more tightly and hid my face in her chest like I was her own flesh and blood.
“I don't know what to do. Casey is the only one left who loves me. I don't want to lose her.”
Mary-Louise rubbed my back to console me.
“That's not true. I love you. You are the son I never had.”
“Thank you.” I unhugged her and cleaned my teary eyes that were making my vision blurry.
“Don't worry, Casey is not going anywhere. In my heart, I know she'll live. God is not merciless. He can't turn a blind eye at the man you have become. He'll show us a way.”
I was feeling fine, and Dr. O’Neil’s assistant let me go after he made me promise to not bang my head in the hospital premises. He further advised that if I felt the urge to pull a stunt like that again, I was more than welcome to do that in the property next block which had been marked for demolition.
Casey was under constant observation. We all were present outside her hospital room, thinking of a way to get past that difficulty.
Only a miracle could have saved Casey then, and I was on my toes praying for it to happen soon before it was too late.
Chapter 18
Seeing your child on death bed is a traumatic experience. All my pain and sufferings fell short to what Casey was going through that time. My sins had finally engulfed her into its ambit. I was sure that my karma—more than that my presence around her—transpired into such a dreadful condition for her. What else it could be? She was all fine and dandy when I was away from her.
What I could have given to get my daughter’s life back at that time? A little happiness I was beginning to get after yearning for it for years was slipping out of my hand real fast. I was never a spiritual person but my every breath was praying to God to have mercy on my daughter. She shouldn’t bear the fruit of my bad deeds.
I then had the money to give happiness of the entire world to my sweet little girl, but it was not enough to give her life. She was leaving me for forever. The mere thought of losing my precious daughter was breaking my heart into million pieces.
I was at the extreme low point in my life, but you may never know what and who may come up as a ray of sunshine to pull you out of your hardships.
And that’s what just happened.
“Excuse me!”
It was the voice of Dr. O’Neil’s assistant who came to us at the waiting area and informed, “Dr. O’Neil wants to meet Mr. and Mrs. Kingsley in his office.”
Could there be more bad news? That was the first thought that came to my mind, and it frightened me intensely. I put on the brave mask and was about to ask Amber to accompany me.
But then.
“Come on, Walter.” Amber stood up holding Walter’s hand. I was nobody then—Walter had fully taken my position in her life. And she didn’t want any part of me in her and Casey’s life even in desperate times like that.
“There is three of you?” The assistant asked with a surprise.
“They are the real parents. I am nothing more than a seed donor.” I had by then accepted my righteous place in Amber’s and Casey’s life and with a deep sigh said, “Just lead the way.”
On the entire way to Dr. O’Neil office, Walter was loudly talking on his phone. Even though I was least interested, some part of his conversation invaded into my ears as he was rejoicing a business win.
“We have the permit! Thank you. That’s wonderful news. . . . Yes, we will demolish the site asap and start the construction. . . . All right, talk to you soon. Bye-bye.”
The audacity of that man? I would have thrown a punch on his face. But it was not my place to say something to him; it was Amber’s, but she remained quiet, and so was I.
The assistant escorted us into Dr. O’Neil’s office and immediately left closing the door behind him without saying a word.
Dr. O’Neil was talking on the phone and simultaneously noting something down on the writing
pad. He kindly gestured us to be seated while he finished the call. Walter and Amber sat while I stood next to Amber; there were only two chairs available.
Dr. O’Neil hanged up the phone shortly, saying, “Thank you very much. I appreciate it.” He then turned to talk to us and, as expected, was surprised to see three of us. “I was looking to talk to the parents only. Especially you, Mr. Kingsley. I don’t think any of you would mind since it’s a sensitive issue.”
Amber put her hand on Walter’s arm and tightly holding it said, “Don’t worry, doc. He is a part of a family. You can talk in front of him.”
I realized that she might need the emotional support of a partner. And obviously, she couldn’t ask from me.
But Amber was giving way too much respect to Walter than what he deserved. And the worst part—it was only from her side and not vice versa. Walter didn’t seem to be a bit interested in being involved in that situation. He would rather be out celebrating with his friends for getting the permit of his construction site.
Dr. O’Neil put a small plastic box on the table and instructed, “Very well, then. Please turn off your mobile phones and any other electronic gadgets and put it in here.”
It seemed excessive. Dr. O’Neal was acting paranoid, but we didn’t object as he continued, “As I said, it’s a sensitive issue. And I don’t want to take any chances; I can lose my license over this.”
After we handed over our electronic devices, it finally hit Walter to ask for the well-being of my daughter. “How is Casey?”
“Stable now—but not for long.” Dr. O’Neil gave a short answer and turned his attention to me. “Mr. Kingsley, what you did out there was admirable. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save your daughter’s life, but what you don’t realize that we need an adolescent heart for the transplant.”
“I am aware of that now, doc.”
“I like you, Mr. Kingsley, and to be honest, very jealous of you. I myself am a father of a daughter of about Casey’s age, but I don’t think I would have done the same thing as you did. I respect you a lot for that and as one father to another, I—”
Hard Redemption: A Second Chance Romantic Comedy Page 16
