by Phil Earle
‘Thought they were dropping further away than this last night,’ he said. He couldn’t lie to himself; he was scared they were so close.
‘See that hole up there?’ Syd pointed to an especially large crater fifty yards ahead. ‘Until last week there was a double decker bus in there, blown practically in two. Next night they took down that entire row of shops.’ She pointed at more rubble, with naked mannequins scattered in different positions, all of them missing limbs of some description. She flinched, her eyes moving away as Joseph’s remained fixed.
‘Anyway,’ she said, changing the subject. ‘I was surprised to see you dash out of the house like that. Can’t believe you’re so keen to get to school, what with your tiredness and after... well, you know, yesterday.’
‘I’m not keen. I just didn’t want Mrs F coming with us.’
‘Was she threatening to?’
He nodded.
‘Oh.’ She let a beat pass between them. ‘So. Did you tell her?’
‘Tell her what?’
‘About what happened yesterday.’
‘What do you reckon?’
‘Well, I can’t imagine for a second that you did.’
‘Proper genius, you,’ he said.
‘Well it doesn’t take a genius to see that you didn’t ask her to read with you either.’
‘Oh aye? Why’s that?’
‘Well, because the last time I saw it, Adonis was ripping up your book. I’m not a bad reader, but I’d be terrible if I had to read it in a million pieces, with a silverback breathing down my neck.’
‘That’s no way to talk about Mrs F,’ Joseph said, finding himself way funnier than Syd did.
‘She might just surprise you, you know, if you told her the truth. She might want to help.’
‘Yeah, course she would.’ The sarcasm dripped from him. ‘Anyway, there’s nothing she could do that’d surprise me. Just like you.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Syd asked with a frown.
‘You know exactly what it means. What was the last thing you said to me when we reached the zoo yesterday?’
‘I don’t know, “goodbye”, probably. Or “see you later.” I know it couldn’t have been “thank you for the wonderful, witty conversation.” ’
‘You said I could trust you.’
‘And?’
‘Well, I saw you, didn’t I? Talking to Mrs F. Telling her everything that happened at school, I bet.’
Syd stopped.
‘Go on,’ Joseph continued. ‘Deny it!’
‘Joseph, I know you think the world revolves around you, but I can honestly say, hand on heart, that it doesn’t.’
‘So what were you talking about, then?’
‘Something else.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘Well, it’s true. Anyway, why am I even listening to this rubbish?’
‘Because you said I could trust you.’
‘And you can.’
‘Then tell me what you were talking about!’ he cried, paranoia running through him.
‘I was talking... about my parents,’ she replied, her voice as sad as his was irate.
‘Yeah? What about them?’
She looked at him questioningly. It was rare to see her pause.
‘About...’ she started. ‘About the fact that next week it will be four months since they died.’
‘They died?’
‘That’s right.’
Blood pumped suddenly in Joseph’s ears, making him wonder if he’d heard correctly. ‘You’re not making this up, are you?’
He had said some silly things to Syd in the very short time he’d known her, but from the thunderous look on her face, he knew that this represented for her a new low.
‘Why would I do that?’
His face flushed and he wanted to take it back, but he couldn’t, and instead managed only to make things worse. ‘I don’t know. To cover your tracks.’
‘You think I’d make up the death of both my parents, just so you didn’t think I was a liar. Have you listened to what you’re saying?’
‘No. I mean yes, I mean – oh, I don’t know, it’s just a shock, what you’re saying. I mean, really? That happened?’
She nodded, each movement small and so terribly sad.
‘On the second night of bombing. Dad had his conscription papers already and was shipping out three days later. We were all terrified. Terrified Hitler would take him. Didn’t think for a second that he wouldn’t let us say goodbye first, or that he’d take Mum, too.’
Joseph’s tired head whirred to keep up. ‘But you... well, they didn’t get you, did they? What happened? Weren’t you there?’
‘The siren came late. They didn’t spot the planes till they were practically overhead. By the time we reached the top of our stairs the bombs were already falling, by the time we reached the bottom... well, it was too late. They’d hit.
‘I’m just lucky, apparently, but it doesn’t often feel like that. Only reason I’m here is because Mum threw herself on me, and Dad on top of her. I didn’t know they were doing it. I didn’t ask them to. All I know is I woke up in hospital and they’d gone. Both of them.’
‘You don’t remember anything else?’
‘Only what they told me in hospital. They thought they’d found three dead bodies, until they realised I was still breathing. Just. My ribs were broken and my lung was punctured, but it was nothing compared to...’
‘You don’t have to...’ Joseph interrupted. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear any more. ‘. . . you know, tell me about it. Not if you don’t want. I didn’t mean to upset yo—’
‘That’s just it, though. It’s never easy talking about it. But it’s better than bottling it up. It’s better than imagining that they never existed in the first place. If I did that –’ her gaze on Joseph seemed to intensify, making him squirm – ‘well, I don’t know how I would act.’
‘So, who are you living with now?’
‘My auntie. She’s nice, but she’s never had kids. And from what I can see she never wanted them. She doesn’t seem to know what to say to me. Maybe that’s her grieving, but it’s why I’m at the zoo half the time.’
‘Cos it keeps you busy?’
‘Yes, that, but Mrs F – well, she lets me speak, and more importantly, she understands. And she cares.’
‘Her? Are you joking me? Only one she has a kind word for is Adonis, and half the time she has a rifle pointed at him.’
‘Are you still going on about that? Mrs F... well, I know she can be grumpy, and a bit, well, abrupt. But honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her. Her or the zoo. And maybe, if you give her a chance, she can help you too.’
‘I doubt it.’
‘Rubbish. You just won’t let her. But I’ll say it again, I’ll help. With the school stuff. If you want me to. I won’t offer again, mind. It’s over to you now.’
Silence fell. A rare one between them. Both of them were quiet with their own thoughts, Joseph trying to process what he’d just learned.
He had no reason to doubt Syd’s news: she was as straight-talking as he was angry, but he couldn’t imagine how she carried that around every minute of every day and still managed to smile. Wasn’t she angry? Didn’t she want to rage at the sky every time it got dark? How did she stay inside when the bombs fell and not want to run outside to throw a grenade of her own? He thought about what had happened to him, about what he had lost, and how furious it had made him.
He watched her for a moment, without her noticing, obviously.
Maybe Syd could help him? If he could only drop his guard long enough to let her.
21
The sight of Clarence on the wall soon cured Joseph of his tiredness, replacing it with a sense of dread, which kickstarted his
flagging limbs.
Wherever he looked, he sensed trouble – danger, even, in its many guises.
There was Mr Gryce (and Clarence, of course) threatening to test both his manners and his reading, and there was Bert and Jimmy, with whom further clashes seemed inevitable.
Even the prospect of time with Miss Doherty made his heart pump and his stomach churn. Not out of fear; she was a rare gentle soul in this place, though she held the key to relative peace in the classroom. Yet one misguided question or an attempt at getting him reading and the touchpaper would be lit. Of all the dangers that lined his path, though, she was the one he was happiest to run into first.
‘Good morning, Joseph,’ she said softly, face hopeful rather than confident.
He grunted something in turn, not wanting to encourage a conversation.
‘I’m very pleased you’re here bright and early,’ she continued, but again Joseph decided not to answer. From what the clock told him, he was actually bang on time, and as for bright? Well, the bags under his eyes told him she was wrong on both scores.
‘I thought we could start our day with some mathematics,’ she said. There was a look on her face, a kind of pleading, like she was trying to gauge if mathematics would rouse his aggression the same way that reading had. He saw her shoulders drop in relief when all he offered was a noncommittal shrug, before sinking heavily into his chair.
It didn’t take the rest of the class long to file in – there weren’t many of them, after all. Syd appeared first (having finally left Joseph’s side for a few minutes), with short keen strides that saw her scamper to a seat as close to the teacher’s as possible, followed by a gaggle of the younger kids, and then, of course, Bert and Jimmy.
It may have been the time he’d been spending at the zoo, but the second he saw them, Joseph couldn’t help but see them in animal form, as the predators they were. There was a slyness to their movements, and a pack mentality that made Joseph think instantly of the wolves, though these two were marginally better fed, and undoubtedly more dangerous.
‘ ’Ey up!’ boomed Bert in a mock-northern accent that sounded nothing like Joseph’s. ‘The rag-and-bone lad is back, I see.’ Of course Jimmy found this hilarious, unlike Joseph, who stared into the distance, aware of the sudden tension in his jaw.
‘Don’t be like that,’ sneered Jimmy. ‘Can’t you see this is hard enough for him as it is? I mean his family must really hate him to send him away to play with all the bombs.’
Their laughter was covered by the scraping of Joseph’s chair as he flew to his feet – not to mention the gasps of the other children and Miss Doherty’s frantic footsteps as she forced herself between the boys.
‘Now that is ENOUGH!’ she yelled, eyes flitting between the warring parties. ‘Bert, Jimmy, take yourselves to the far table. Joseph, you stay where you are.’
No one moved.
‘Now. Unless you want me to call for Mr Gryce.’
Unsurprisingly, this saw all three of them do as they were told, albeit reluctantly, Bert kicking sneakily at Joseph’s chair leg as he passed.
‘Now, children,’ Miss Doherty went on, ‘on your desks you will find your maths textbooks. I expect twenty minutes of silent work as you pick up from where you left off last time.’ She turned to Joseph, without moving any closer. ‘Joseph, I have left a short test for you so I can assess what you already know. Please don’t feel intimidated if there are sums there that are beyond you. Just, you know, do your best and let me know when you have finished.’ And she scurried off behind her desk, fearful of being caught in a similar crossfire to last time.
Minutes later she noticed Joseph’s hand in the air – an improvement on him turning over desks.
‘Yes, Joseph?’ she asked.
‘Finished, Miss,’ he said, sheepishly.
‘Really?’
He saw her forehead wrinkle in surprise and heard Bert laugh sarcastically. But he pushed his anger down after being told to bring his work up to her desk.
‘Let me see now,’ Miss Doherty said, her pencil tracing his answers, eyebrows raising higher and higher as she scribbled tick after tick after tick. ‘Too easy for you, these, clearly!’ she said, and Joseph sensed excitement in her, not that he understood why. Sums like this were easy.
‘Try this page,’ she said, handing him a different book which housed a lot more numbers than the first. He did as he was told without fuss, or enthusiasm, but still found himself in front of her again ten minutes later, looking at the same long line of ticks and an even bigger grin on his teacher’s face.
‘Joseph!’ she beamed. ‘Where did you learn to do this?’
He shrugged, not out of churlishness, but out of honesty. He didn’t know. He’d always found sums as easy as he found reading hard. ‘They’re just puzzles, aren’t they,’ he said, quietly enough so only Miss Doherty could hear.
‘Well that’s true,’ she replied, much louder, ‘but some are also puzzles that I’d not expect you to be able to solve for another two years. So I’m surprised. Delighted, obviously.’ She paused, her eyes not leaving his. ‘In fact, would you excuse me, just for a minute or two.’ And after picking up his books, she bustled from the room, leaving Bert and Jimmy with the opportunity they’d been looking for.
‘Oy, Einstein,’ leered Bert. ‘Where’ve you got the answers hidden, then? Cos you definitely didn’t work ’em out yourself.’
Joseph didn’t look away, though nor did he focus on Jimmy’s face. His blood, still simmering from the earlier barbs, caught fire, the heat in his chest spreading quickly.
‘Can’t see old Gryce believing you, either. Wasn’t just your arse he marked first time round. Was your card, too. He’ll work out you’re a cheat – even if Miss can’t.’
Joseph was over the desk before he knew it. He’d heard enough, his fist full of Bert’s jumper, pulling the boy towards him.
‘Say that again. I dare you.’
The only thing was, Bert did dare. This was the sort of confrontation he loved, though opportunities these days were precious few. War robbed people of different things, and ironically, given the battles raging across Europe, it had cost Bert the fights that had fed his ego so satisfactorily since he’d started school.
‘What’s your problem, Palmer? Truth hurt? You’re a cheat.’
Joseph gripped harder. ‘You don’t know anything ’bout me.’
‘That right? See, I reckon I know plenty. Doesn’t take much to work out that you don’t belong here. And that no one wants you here, neither.’
Joseph didn’t think he needed help. He was rarely in fights when he didn’t come out on top one way or another, but on this occasion, he was beaten to the punch.
Not by Bert. Or Jimmy either. But by Syd, pushing Bert so hard that she almost sent him and Joseph crashing over the desk to the floor.
‘That’s rubbish. There’s plenty of people want Joseph around, so don’t you dare speak for me, Bert Conaghan.’
Bert looked at her, incredulous. ‘This has got nothing to do with you. I mean, who are you, his sweetheart, or something? Get lost.’
This of course merely spurred Syd on.
‘Make me,’ she replied. But Bert didn’t have to, as Jimmy stepped in instead.
Syd may have been able to beat them with her intellect, but physically it was a mismatch, and Jimmy made her back-pedal by lifting her by the arms and sitting her on a desk.
All eyes were back on Bert and Joseph now, and Miss Doherty was still nowhere to be seen.
‘Come on then, Palmer,’ Bert spat, fist cocked.
Joseph knew what the boy was doing. He was goading him because he didn’t want to throw the first punch. That way, he could say he was only acting in self-defence. But what Bert didn’t know, was that at that moment, Joseph didn’t care about blame, or punishment, or even another short dance with Clarence. All he w
anted to do was inflict the anger he was feeling on the runt in front of him.
So he did exactly that: a single straight jab that parked Bert on his backside, demolishing a chair on the way down.
That was the point when pandemonium should’ve kicked in. Joseph expected it.
There was a groan from Bert as he looked around him, disorientated, looking at the floor in confusion. His hands wrestled with the ground, trying to build a base from which to spring, and Joseph felt the storm coming, and braced himself, only for it to be blown off course at the last second by the return of Miss Doherty.
Her eyes widened.
‘Oh dear,’ she gasped. ‘Oh dear, what has happened here?’
Everyone in the room knew that this wasn’t really a question she needed to ask.
Joseph waited for Bert to do his worst. He’d not stand down or unclench his fists, not even if Clarence wanted to kiss his palms. Bert had got what was coming to him and he’d have done it yesterday if he’d had the chance.
Syd, though, was as clever as Joseph was defiant, positioning herself between the teacher and Bert.
‘Clumsiness!’ she declared. ‘That’s what happened, Miss. That and showing off. Bert was trying to balance on the chair.’
Miss Doherty blinked several times, as if this answer was having trouble reaching her brain. It wasn’t the answer she’d been expecting, nor did it feel particularly plausible to Joseph.
‘Bert? Is that true?’
Bert returned his gaze to Joseph, mouth twitching somewhere between a grimace and what might have been a smirk. He’d wipe it off with pleasure, the second Bert piped up with the truth.
But it seemed the truth had been blown off course as well.
‘Chair wasn’t strong enough, Miss,’ Bert said simply.
‘I can see that,’ the teacher replied, though she was clearly still bemused. ‘Well, put everything back and stop being so silly.’
‘Yes, Miss,’ said Bert, climbing to his feet but with steely eyes still on Joseph.
Joseph watched him go. He was shocked. Bert had had everything he needed to see Joseph packed off to the head’s office.
