"How far are you willing to go?" That was a loaded question, and he wasn't sure she even knew her own capacity. Knowing he was her first lover meant there were serious considerations he had to make that weren't normally in place for an experienced woman.
She thought about his question and nibbled her lip. "I guess as far as you're willing to take me." Once she said the words, she realized how true they were. She trusted him not to hurt her, and knew he had the ability to bring her great pleasure. He'd already proven that tonight.
"Oh Jessie Girl, you really shouldn't have said that." He chuckled and kissed her again. Precious, that's what she was, he thought. He wanted to come between her parted thighs and enjoy the sweetness of her body, but he refused to do that until she healed. Pleasurable pain might be something he enjoyed giving, but to him this was just different.
She shouldn't admit being so willing. The truth was she wanted to experience more. She didn't have enough knowledge about her own sexuality to know what more consisted of. "I trust you Chase." She spoke the truth softly, but met his eyes to let him know she meant it.
There was little a woman could say that turned him on as much as those words. He knew if he was going to keep his self-made promise to not take her again so soon, these games needed to come to an end tonight. Something about hearing those words from her lips went straight to his throbbing cock.
"I'll never let you regret that trust either Jessie. I'm going to do the right thing here and let you sleep." Before I take your body in all the ways going through my mind right now, he thought. With practiced ease he removed her ankle and wrist cuffs, and pulled her against his chest. "Sleep honey, we've got many more nights to explore later."
She wanted to tell him that she was willing to make love to him again, but the truth was she was still a little sore. Snuggling up against his warmth, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.
9 Sympathizing
Upon waking, she stretched languidly. She must have used several muscles she hadn't used before. Glancing around the room, she smiled, recalling the events of last night, and felt a little wicked for wishing he were in bed now so they could enjoy a few more pleasures. Sliding out of bed, she walked over to his bathroom and took a quick shower, hoping that by the time she was finished he'd be back.
Finishing her toilette, she made her way into the bedroom, disappointed he still wasn't back. Deciding she needed to find him, she pulled on her clothes and padded barefoot down the stairs. She heard someone singing in the kitchen and followed the sound. Louise was cleaning and humming a tune, and Jessie cleared her throat to let her know she wasn't alone.
"Hello, Jessie. I trust you slept well?" Louise’s smiling eyes filled with warmth.
"Yes Ma'am." Jessie flushed at the thought of this kind woman knowing where she’d spent the night.
"None of that formality, dear. It's Louise. Are you hungry? I could prepare something for you." Smiling even deeper, her eyes crinkled on the sides.
"Thank you so much, Louise, but honestly I'm not really hungry. Um, do you know where Chase is?" She didn't want to offend the housekeeper, but she normally didn't eat until noon.
The sweet smile faded. "His father took a turn for the worse and they admitted him to the hospital a little after five. Chase didn't want to wake you so he asked me to let you know how sorry he was he couldn't see you home."
It was hard to be upset at his absence, knowing the reason for it. "I hope everything's all right." She knew it was a stupid response because his father was obviously dying, but she didn't know what else to say. She wished he had awakened her, but she understood his thoughts had been somewhere else.
"It will all turn out the way the good Lord intended." Louise's smile turned sad.
"I guess I should be getting home. Would you let Chase know I'm here if he needs to talk later?"
"I will, but Chase told me to let you know you could stay as long as you wished."
"Thank you, Louise, but I have some work at home to take care of. It was very nice meeting you." She wanted to walk down to the dungeon to retrieve her shoes, but had no intention of letting Louise know she'd been down there.
"Well, take care of yourself then, young lady. I hope to see you back again really soon." With a grin, she went back to cleaning.
Jessie saw her purse sitting on the coffee table where she’d left it last night, and walked over to retrieve it. Walking out the door barefoot, she shook her head before making her way to her car and driving home. It definitely wasn't how she'd expected her time with Chase to end, but then again, yesterday she’d had no idea she'd be staying the night with him, either.
Suddenly, she felt like she'd done something wrong. Pulling up in front of her apartment, she couldn't seem to shake the notion.
Unlocking her door, she reached down to pet Sebastian as he greeted her. Picking him up in her arms, she cuddled him against her chest. "Take a deep breath." Speaking to the walls, she tried to convince herself that last night was nothing to feel guilty about.
Sitting down at her small kitchen table, she put the cat down and closed her eyes. The image of Chase making love to her washed through her mind, sending a surge of desire through her body again. Without thought, her hand moved to her throat. She could easily imagine the feel of his hand there, then moving downward until he cupped her breast.
The dampness between her thighs forced her eyes open again, and she stood quickly. Confusion about wanting him again compounded with the guilty feelings she already had. Releasing a long breath, she fought back the urge to cry. She wasn't even really sure what was really upsetting her.
Needing to calm down, she picked up her phone and called Amanda. Filling her in on the barest of details, her friend agreed to stop by her apartment for lunch. She felt a little better after hanging up, but glancing down at her body, the relief dissipated. The fact that she was still wearing the clothes she’d left in yesterday reminded her of just how impulsive she'd been.
She hadn't known Chase long enough to even consider the step she'd taken last night. Not to mention, the man was dealing with some serious problems of his own at the moment, and had probably just wanted comforting. Basically, she’d thrown the promises she’d made to herself about only making love in a committed relationship out the window last night. Groaning, she hurried to her bathroom to shower.
By the time Amanda arrived, she'd worked herself into a state of melancholy. Chase hadn't called yet, and even though reasonably she knew he was probably dealing with his father, it still hurt that he hadn’t picked up the phone. All her insecurities flooded over her and she broke down into tears as her best friend consoled her.
"Come on, Jessie, stop crying." Amanda hugged her tightly. "The first time is always really emotional and I promise you're making more over this than needs to be. He's probably just got his mind wrapped up in his father at the moment." Her own eyes moistened.
Jessie took a few deep breaths, knowing she was acting like a child. Mentally listing all the reasons why she was overacting helped. Pulling out of Amanda's arms, she walked over to the kitchen island bar, grabbed a paper towel, and blew her nose. "I'm sorry I'm acting like a blubbering idiot."
"No you're not, honey. You're acting like a woman who's confused about a man. I've cried on your shoulder more times than you can count on one hand."
A small smile found Jessie’s face, knowing how true those words were. It still didn't make her feel less guilty. The doorbell rang and she walked over to answer it, hoping her face didn't look like a blotchy mess from all the tears. The dozen red roses that the delivery man held out almost made the waterworks start again. She signed for them quickly, and gave him a tip before walking back to the table. Picking up the card, she did start crying again. It said, Thank you for a beautiful night I will never forget and was signed, Always, Chase.
"Well, obviously someone was impressed last night." Amanda laughed softly. "At least he's thoughtful."
"Maybe he doesn't regret last night." Jessi
e gave a watery smile, feeling as if a weight had been lifted. She knew there was no reason to have felt like he'd been disappointed last night, but her mind had trouble accepting anyone could want her.
"Why would you think he'd regret it? I swear, sometimes I wish I could step inside that mind of yours and show you what an incredible woman you are." Anger filled her gaze, and Amanda added, "It was just sex. You did nothing wrong."
There was no way she could make Amanda understand. They thought differently. "I just wanted the first time to be with the man I planned on spending my life with."
"I swear sometimes you think out of this century." Amanda smiled sadly. "Just be happy you were with a man who obviously pleased you."
Arguing was pointless. Nodding, Jessie retrieved a vase from the kitchen, and then arranged the flowers meticulously.
Amanda changed tactics. "Let's get out of here and go shopping and stop by the hair salon."
Jessie wasn't big on the shopping idea, but she could definitely use a trim, she decided. "Okay, you're on, but I want ice cream when we're done." Feeling her spirits lift at that thought, she smiled.
The ice cream was a post-shopping tradition and Amanda grinned back. "Only if it's a double scoop of chocolate peanut butter."
Making a gagging sound, Jessie laughed again. "Personally, I don't know how you can mix chocolate and peanut butter."
They made their way down to Amanda's car and enjoyed small talk until they arrived at the mall. Jessie had convinced Amanda years ago to change from her expensive boutique to this place, since the stylist was so impressive.
By the time they left the salon and finished their shopping, all the earlier depression Jessie had felt was gone. The book club was meeting tonight, and thanks to Amanda, she had an outfit that would probably even impress some of the women there. The women all dressed in designer clothing, and that just wasn't in her conservative budget. Amanda dropped her off at her apartment, and told her they were meeting at Carolyn's house tonight.
Chase called her later in the afternoon to let her know his father was in ICU. She asked if he wanted some company but he kindly refused, saying he needed a little time to accept things, but he did say he appreciated the offer. They talked for almost half an hour before he informed her they were letting visitors back in and he'd call her again later. She felt much better after their conversation, even though she wasn't completely convinced the previous night hadn't been a mistake.
She made the conscious decision to not let any of that affect her mood tonight. She'd even managed to read the book this time.
10 Romance Book Club
She dressed with care in the new black sheath Amanda had helped her pick out, and the three inch heels made her feel a little more feminine. She'd even put on makeup and jewelry. When she arrived at Carolyn's house, she felt more confident than she ever had at one of these meetings.
Carolyn greeted her at the door and gave her a warm smile. "You look lovely," she said, allowing her gaze to move over Jessie.
"Thank you Carolyn. Amanda and I had a little shopping trip today." She managed to keep eye contact, something that was normally hard for her. "So how was your day?" Normally she just answered questions without adding much to a conversation.
Raising an eyebrow, Carolyn smiled warmly. "Well, I spent most of the day at Chase's club trying to familiarize myself with everything."
"Are you going to be helping him out now?" She and Chase hadn't really talked about his father last night, she remembered with a flush to her cheeks.
"Actually, I'm going to be running Sensation's, at least temporarily since Chase is taking over his father's company." Shaking her head, she sighed. "I'm not sure it's really what Chase wants, but I guess he feels like he has to make things easier on his father."
"Is he okay with that? I mean, I thought he enjoyed working at the club?" She was concerned he’d acted hastily.
Carolyn studied her intently. "I'm sure it's not easy for him. I know it's probably none of my business, but you seem really interested in Chase's feelings.”
Feeling her face warm, Jessie nibbled her nip. "We um, went out the other night."
Her eyes widened. "I admit I'm somewhat shocked. I thought you'd been pretty turned off by everything that happened at Sensation's?"
Jessie’s lowered her gaze and whispered. "I never said I was interested in all of that." Even as she said the words, a guilty feeling overcame her knowing she was in fact, interested.
"If Chase asked you out and you went, then I know you are." Smiling at her expression, she motioned to the living room. "Stay after the group leaves. I'd love to talk with you more."
Carolyn didn't give her time to accept or decline the offer. Walking after her into the living room, Jessie sat in her usual spot. The discussion began and for the first time since joining the book club, she felt like she had something to offer. When Carolyn asked if she thought it was possible for a dominant to be a great friend, Jessie actually gave her thoughts. "I would think a dominant would be just like any other man, and it would depend on his personality.”
It was awkward when more than a few of the women looked at her with their mouths almost agape because she actually spoke. She forced a smile instead of glancing at her lap, and noticed several smiles returning to her. And a fifteen-minute conversation resulted from her comment!
After the meeting, she was shocked that a few of the women came up to talk with her, and she was even more surprised to find herself enjoying the conversation. Amanda had bailed out early, claiming she had a date with her lawyer, so after the rest of the women departed, she didn't have an excuse not to stay and talk with their host. Carolyn didn't waste any time questioning her.
"Something's different about you, Jessie." Handing her a glass of the wine, they sat down on the couch.
Taking a sip of the smooth liquid, she smiled. "This is really delicious." Not knowing exactly how to respond to her statement, she just shrugged.
"Are you and Chase playing together?" Carolyn watched her expression intently.
Jessie almost choked on her wine at the blunt question. She wondered how she should answer, then decided maybe the truth would be the best way to go. "Not really." That was true. She wasn't playing with him in the way Carolyn meant. Unless Chase tying her to the bed counted.
Taking a sip of her wine, Carolyn glanced over the glass at Jessie. "How do you ‘not really’ play with someone? I mean, it really is a ‘you are or you're’ not situation."
A thought entered Jessie’s mind. "You and Chase don't play together, do you?" Now that she'd asked the question, it really did make sense. They obviously shared the same interest, and why else would he trust her with his club?
Carolyn threw back her head back and laughed out loud. "That would never happen. I'm not a switch."
"A switch? I have no idea what a branch has to do with this."
Carolyn laughed even louder. "No, a switch is a person who enjoys being both dominant and submissive, depending on their mood. Let's just say I always like to call the shots."
Feeling her face redden, Jessie lowered her eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry. There are obviously a bunch of words in your world I haven't learned yet."
"Yet? So are you saying you are going to learn more, perhaps with Chase?"
"Seriously, I don't know at this point, Carolyn. I mean, I enjoyed staying with him last night, but as far as where it will lead, I just don't know." Realizing she'd just basically admitted sleeping with Chase, she wondered if she could be more of an idiot.
"You spent the entire night with him?" Carolyn’s eyes filled with shock.
Taking a quick gulp of her wine, she wished she'd controlled her mouth filter more. "I really don't want to talk about this." That was an understatement. She'd known Carolyn for a while now, but they weren't exactly close enough to discuss this subject.
"I didn't mean to pry,” Carolyn said apologetically, “I'm just worried Chase hasn't been very upfront with you about how he views rela
tionships. He’s a really nice man, but I'm not sure he's in a place to consider anyone else's needs at the moment."
That was a warning if she ever heard one, and Jessie stiffened. "I shouldn't have said anything." She already knew she'd revealed more than she should have.
Smiling encouragingly, Carolyn shook her head. "I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't want to see you get hurt. If things weren't so stressful with Chase at the moment, I'm sure he would have explained he doesn't do casual play."
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. Was the woman warning her off or telling her Chase would expect more? "I really don't understand."
"This isn't really my place, but normally Chase discusses every aspect of what he expects from a submissive before they move to the next step. From what I know of his past, women aren't invited to sleep over. His father's illness has him in a place right now where he's not thinking clearly."
"So you're saying either Chase expects me to be his submissive or he just lost his mind by sleeping with me last night?" Both those scenarios confused her, and her eyes clouded in thought.
"Honestly, I don't know what I'm saying at the moment. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all." Standing, Carolyn walked over to the bar to refresh her wine.
Jessie couldn't help asking the question that filled her thoughts. "Why doesn't he allow women to sleep over?" The man was beautiful. She doubted seriously it was from lack of offers.
"That's something you should really discuss with Chase when his head is clear." Walking back to join Jessie on the couch, she smiled secretively.
Jessie had no idea why the gleam suddenly came into Carolyn's eyes, but she did know she was more confused than ever about what had happened between her and Chase last night. "I probably should get going. I have some work I need to catch up on before morning." The truth was, she wasn't really sure what Carolyn’s intentions had been tonight and she was uncomfortable.
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