"Maybe you should come over and discuss the things you want, Jessie. I can't please you if I don't know what you want." He was more than a little disappointed, and frustrated that just when he’d initiated her into the world of lovemaking, Amanda's situation had turned her completely off his lifestyle.
The thought of being with him again that way made her libido skyrocket, but how could she give herself to a man who would never see her as more than an object of sexual gratification? At least you'd enjoy yourself, her subconscious argued. Right up until the moment he decided to turn into psycho man, her mind answered back. "Is that what you really want Chase, someone to enjoy passionate games with?"
"I guess the real question here is what do you really want? We obviously have good chemistry, Jessie. Why shouldn't we enjoy each other?" He didn't want her to walk away. There were so many things he wanted to share with her. But all of them involved her trusting him.
"I'm sure Carolyn explained what happened to Amanda. I'm not sure I'll ever feel comfortable playing in your world again," she admitted finally. That was only part of the problem. Even if she could trust him in that capacity, he would never want the type of relationship she craved with him.
Running a weary hand through his thick hair, he sighed. "That man wasn't a master. He was barely a human being. Surely you don't put me on that same level?"
"I don't think you're that type of person, but I admit I'm a little leery of the thought of being hurt that way." A little was an understatement. She wasn't sure she'd ever recover from abuse like that.
"Any woman would be, but that's not really the question. Do you think I would hurt you like that?" If she thought he could be that sadistic, then there was no hope for them at all.
She thought about his question deeply and shook her head. "No, I know you wouldn't do something like that." She meant it. No matter how insensitive he was to her feelings for him, he wasn't the type of man to abuse another woman. That much she knew for certain.
Releasing the breath he'd been holding waiting for her answer, he relaxed somewhat. "Come see me tonight then. I really would like to talk to you."
She knew talking would turn into something else if she visited him. But would it be so horrible to enjoy him as a lover, knowing it would never go any further? Could she be that woman who just enjoyed the sensual side of her nature? Maybe that was the only way she'd get over the urge to want more than just pleasure with him. "We both know it would end in more than talking." At least that was honest, even if she hated saying the words out loud.
He wasn't going to deny that. "The choice is yours, Jessie. It always has been. If you're still interested, stop by my house tonight at eight." He hung up, not giving her time to answer; afraid he would beg her to give him a chance. If she came tonight, he would introduce her into the real world of domination, and if she didn't, he had to accept that she just didn't want him.
Listening to the dial tone for several seconds, she finally hung up. It hurt to know she'd been right and he'd only wanted to be with her to fulfill his needs. He didn't really want to talk, she decided. He wanted to enjoy her. It hurt knowing that was what he really cared about.
The hurt finally blended into anger. Two could play at his game, she decided, even knowing she would be the one that would pay the price when it all ended. She'd fought against her sexuality for years, and he was the first man to awaken her to desire. Why shouldn't she enjoy herself, if only for short time? It went against everything she believed about herself, but for once she just didn't care.
Unpacking her suitcases, she arranged everything meticulously as she thought over her options. It was obvious that she still wanted the man, even if these weren't exactly the terms she wanted him on. At least she would hopefully have a few months of memories to take away with her when this was over. Her decision already made, she took a long, hot bath, and soaked to clear her head.
She dressed to please him. Knowing that at least he found her sexually appealing did more than she'd thought possible for her self-confidence. Pulling a never-worn, slinky red dress from her closet, she slid it over her head, pleased it still fit after years of hanging abandoned. The silky little garment had been one she bought when her ex had planned to take her out dancing, before he'd broken the news about his new relationship. It somehow seemed fitting to wear this for Chase tonight.
A shrink would have a field day with her thoughts at the moment, she thought as she prepared herself to give her body to a man who obviously couldn't love her. Knowing the types of things he enjoyed, she hoped her heart was the only thing that came out of this broken. She instantly berated herself for that thought. She knew Chase would never physically hurt her.
Driving to his house, she attempted to talk herself out of this madness. She almost turned around several times, but minutes later she found herself in his driveway. “This has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever done, Jess,” she said out loud as she climbed out of the car. Walking up to his door, her knees trembled in anticipation of facing him. Louise's smiling face met her instead.
"It's good to see you, young lady. You've been missed around here." Patting Jessie’s hand affectionately, Louise opened the door so she could enter.
"It's nice to see you, Louise." The other woman’s smile was infectious and she returned it while squeezing her hand gently.
"Chase is waiting for you in his study. You go on up and I'll bring some drinks." Pointing to the stairs, she walked off.
Forcing her legs to move, Jessie walked upstairs and followed the hall until she saw the open door of the study. Giving Chase a timid smile, she gazed over him as he sat behind the large mahogany desk. "Evening," she whispered softly.
"I'm glad you came, Jessie." He gave a forced smile and encouraged her to sit down in the oversized chair in front of the desk with a hand motion.
He didn't seem as warm and affectionate as she remembered, and an uncomfortable feeling moved through her. For a reason she couldn't explain, he seemed almost angry. "Did you change your mind?" That was the only explanation that made sense to her.
"Why on earth would I do that? We enjoy each other. There's no reason that we shouldn't continue to do so." Sensing that she didn't truly believe him, he sighed deeply. He needed to get his emotions under control. He wanted more than just some sexual rendezvous, he realized. "I just want to discuss some details before we decide where we want to go here, Jessie. I'm sorry if I seem a little tense."
This was how he normally treated the submissive's interested in training with him. He'd done things wrong with her from the beginning, but tonight he was determined to show her how he acted when he kept his emotions out of the equation. What he really wanted to do was pull her into his arms and demand that she want more from him that just the sexual pleasure he gave, but that wasn't going to happen. He felt like the woman in a relationship needing emotional depth, and it pissed him off.
They were interrupted by Louise bringing in a tray with a bottle of wine and long-stemmed glasses. They both thanked her and the silence when she left again was a little daunting to Jessie.
"I guess the best way to begin is to explain what I'm looking for in a submissive." That was who he was; he didn't see any reason to sugarcoat what his needs were. If he could have her as something more, he would have worked into this as their relationship progressed, but that wasn't the case now.
Who is this man? She thought to herself as she nodded for him to continue. He seemed almost business-like at the moment, and she wasn't sure that a relationship like this was something she could do.
"You've already been introduced to my dungeon, so you know the toys and such I like to play with. I explained before if you belonged to me, when you enter it should always be undressed and ready to please me." This felt so cold and calculated, but the thought of playing with her there still excited him, so if this is what she wanted, he had no problem giving it to her.
"You know I don't have a real grasp on the things you enjoy, Chase." Was she re
ally going to do this with him? It wasn't what she wanted; she wanted that sweet man who loved her body so tenderly back again.
"You'll learn as I teach you, so that's not really an issue. If you aren't comfortable with something, you can just ask me to stop. I'm not going to get into details about safe words and such until I know your limits better. I'm not big on the sir and master titles either. Respect is something you show in actions, not in words, so you can continue to call me Chase."
She hadn't even considered calling him anything other than his given name, and wondered if she would have been able to do it if he’d demanded it. "Okay." She didn't like this coolness at all and wished he'd just take her in his arms again. None of this seemed right.
"I will be training you as a submissive, so I will use punishment, but I promise it won't be unbearable."
The punishment thing terrified her. "I think you'd better explain." After seeing what Amanda went through, she wasn't willing to trust even him without knowing more.
He knew automatically where her mind had gone. "Do you really think I would hurt you the way Amanda was?"
"No, but I also know you're acting strange and I'm not comfortable with you at the moment." Being honest with him seemed only right.
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. "I just want to make sure we understand each other, I'm sorry if I seem abrupt." Softening his countenance, he smiled. "You have my word that I would never push you further than you can accept, okay?"
She nodded, but wasn't sure having him punish her was something she wanted to consider. She didn’t know what she could do that would disappoint him enough to encourage that. She didn't know what to say, and again she questioned her sanity for wanting to share any part of him he was willing to give. It really was pathetic, she decided.
"Are you sure this is what you really want?" He didn't feel much like a dominant at the moment. Having her in his bedroom was much more along the lines of what he sought.
Run, her mind screamed in warning. This wasn't what she'd come for tonight, so why was she nodding? "I want to learn more about your world." She wasn't ready at all. Allowing him to use her as a sex toy seemed so callous. This all felt so impersonal, and she suddenly doubted she could make it through even one night with him as her master.
He stood. He could do this, he reminded himself. This was a role he'd played many times before. It didn't matter if he wanted more. He could give her what she needed and take what she willingly gave.
She followed him to the door leading to the basement, and felt a little nauseated at the thought of what she was going to allow tonight. The man she’d fantasized about was a complete stranger compared to this no-nonsense man leading her into a world of sexual deviance.
"You can change over there." He pointed to a small curtained area in the corner of the room, determined to keep his emotions in check. His body would find pleasure, but he'd be damned if he let his heart get any more involved.
Taking his direction, she walked behind the screen and stood several seconds before beginning to undress. She could still change her mind, she told herself, even as her fingers released her bra and allowed it to slide silently to the floor. Crossing her arms over her breasts when she was completely nude, she took several more seconds to mentally argue about this foolish endeavor.
When she walked out from behind the curtain, his breath caught in his throat at the loveliness of the vision before him. She trembled as she made her way to him. He had never wanted a woman more in his life. He could read how nervous she was, and made the decision that no matter what happened he would make sure she enjoyed herself tonight. If this was all he could have, then he would leave her with memories she would think of long after he was gone.
"My beautiful Jessie girl." Giving his first real smile of the evening, he allowed his eyes to roam over her trembling form. Making her comfortable in her own skin was the first lesson he would teach her. "Walk across the room for me," he demanded softly. As she began walking, he issued several orders. "Pull your shoulders back, keep your head up, and be proud of the beautiful body you're displaying."
After a few minutes of walking back and forth, the embarrassment left her. Placing her hands on her hips, she stopped and glanced at him. "Do you like making me walk?"
Chuckling at her response, he nodded. "I love watching you move, Jessie. It turns me on."
She couldn't argue with that compliment. She began walking again. Knowing he was watching her was somewhat of a turn-on, even if she wanted to cover herself. She had never felt this comfortable nude, even in the shower stalls at the gym.
"Walk to me, Jessie girl." He held out his arms, and smiled as she pressed against him. He allowed his arms to hold her tightly as he stroked her hair. "You look beautiful fully undressed," he whispered.
The compliment stroked her ego, even if she disagreed, but she was glad he found her worthy. The feel of his arms around her was incredible, and she snuggled against him more tightly. Pressing her lips against his chest where his shirt was opened, she inhaled the scent of him deeply, pleased.
He led her through kneels next, and enjoyed the site of her exquisite form as she surrendered to his training. She was very graceful, and after several tries, each kneel looked as if she'd practiced many times before. She was pleased to see he was aroused at the site of her own willingness to please him.
"You're almost a natural at this Jessie," he said, smiling encouragingly. The thoughts of the last week vanished as he relaxed into the role he'd been born to play. Taking her hand, he led her over to the cross. "I've dreamed of seeing you splayed up here, willing to do whatever I asked."
She'd had her own dreams about him since first tethering him to the cross at his club, and smiled. "I have a fondness for this as well."
Grinning wickedly, he attached her wrists and ankles to the cuffs that were embedded in the wood with a secure latch, then stood back to admire her body. "That first night we met, I wanted to do things like this to you." He trailed his hand from her collarbone to her breast, lifted the slight weight, and ran his finger across the coral peak, enjoying how it immediately tightened.
He had thought about her that way even then? A pleased smile found her face, making her forget everything but the sensations she was experiencing at that moment. Knowing this beautiful man wanted her was more than she could have ever wished for. Closing her eyes, she gave in to the delicious feeling of his hand fondling her.
Stepping away, he walked over to his toy chest and pulled out clamps that were connected to a thin silver chain. Moving in front of her, he fondled her breasts for several seconds until her nipples were stiff enough to accept the small little toy. These didn't add much pressure, he thought, and the sensation should be one she'd enjoy. Her soft gasp of pleasure as he attached them proved his thoughts correct.
Tugging lightly on the chain connected to her nipples, he smiled as her neck arched back and her eyes closed. Trailing his hand down through the small downy curls, he tugged slightly. "I'm going to remove these curls the next time you're here." Sliding his finger against the hard nub at her core, he continued caressing her until she was moaning softly. He attached the last clamp to her clit, and a gasp left her lips.
"Chase," she called out at the almost blinding pleasure that seeped through her body. It was almost too much, but not quite enough.
"Do you want me to remove it, Jessie girl?" He smiled, reading the confusion in her eyes. He doubted the clamp was painful enough to make her uncomfortable, but it was a sensation that took getting used to.
She shook her head no, and bit her lip, still shocked at the need the device sent raging through her core. When he tugged gently, she almost came undone. "Oh, God!"
He chuckled softly, enjoying her response, and stood back to watch her. She discovered quickly that even the slightest movement of her body pulled on the clamps since they were all attached. "Ready for more?"
How was she supposed to answer that? She wondered. The clamps had her very a
ware of her own body and that was definitely something she wasn't used to. "Maybe?"
He chuckled again at her answer, thinking what a joy she was to train. Walking over to his box of pleasures, he pulled out a mini-flogger. He would try a full-sized one on her at a later time, but for now he was enjoying the clamps. Moving in front of her body, he allowed the small hand-sized leather straps to gently fall over her abdomen.
Her movement increased the pressure pulling on the clamps again, and she moaned softly. Wanting this to be pure pleasure for her tonight, he began lightly flogging her with the small flogger until she was crying out. The clamps pulling at her nipples and sex, combined with the texture of the leather on her skin seemed to be something she truly enjoyed. After long moments of teasing her this way, he tossed the flogger aside and carefully undid the clamps one by one.
She was breathless by the time they were all removed, and the slight throbbing of her nipples and clit again had her completely focused on her body. When he released her from the cuffs, she wanted to demand he make love to her. She forced herself to wait for him to make that move.
Knowing what she needed was part of being a good dominant, but she had to earn what she wanted. "Pleasure me, Jessie girl," he demanded softly, encouraging her to find her knees with a slight pressure on her shoulder from his hand.
The fact that she didn't know crap about pleasing a man that way didn't matter at the moment. She wanted to please him. Unzipping his pants, she slid them awkwardly down his legs, and his underwear followed. Faced with his impressive shaft, she wrapped her hand around the width, and squeezed before taking him slowly into her mouth.
She'd thought tasting a man this way would not be as sexy as they made it in books, but she discovered immediately that she loved it. Going on her own instincts, she stroked him as she took him deeper within the confines of her mouth. The rhythm was almost natural as she relaxed her throat, allowing him to move even deeper.
5 Nights (Sinful Delights Romance - Boxed Set) Page 23
