by Leigh James
“James needs someone who can help him, Audrey. Someone who can guide him and make his life easier. He doesn’t need someone to babysit.”
I swallowed hard. She was actually making sense to me, and that was scary. I could only imagine what she had said to Danielle, so many years ago. Celia Preston was being polite right now. Her actual wrath would be terrifying. That poor girl, I thought. James had been her first love, and she’d been so young.
“I know you care about James, Audrey. You want what’s best for him. Think about what I’m saying to you.”
She paused for a beat and turned to me. “And between you and me? If you go quietly, I’ll make it worth your while.” We watched as Todd and Evie knelt in front of the priest.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.
“You do that, dear,” Mrs. Preston said.
* * *
“What was my mother whispering to you about?” James asked me as we headed toward the car.
“Oh, you know. This and that. Stuff. Things.”
“What sorts of things?”
“Things that would make you mad,” I said. I grabbed his hand. “Things that we should only talk about while we’re having alcoholic beverages.”
He slid into the car next to me and scowled. “Was it the same stuff? About how exclusive our family is?”
“Sort of,” I said. Since Celia had ended her diatribe, I’d been struggling with how much to tell James. I decided that the whole truth might push him over the edge right now. He was still so raw from telling me about Danielle. I would tell him everything his mother had said, but not the night before Todd’s wedding. He would be too angry. Tonight and tomorrow needed to be about the happy couple, not crazy, vindictive, and cunning Celia Preston.
“She was just talking about Evie. Why she thinks Evie is a good fit for your family.” James snorted, and Kai drove through the Financial District on the way to the waterfront. The rehearsal dinner was at Il Pastorne, one of the most exclusive restaurants in Boston.
After a few minutes sitting in traffic, Kai pulled up outside of the restaurant. As he went to open the door for us, I saw something on the sidewalk that made me pause. A flash of a familiar blond head, badly in need of a root touch-up. “Oh, shit.” I turned to James. “That’s my mom out there.” Kai opened the door, but I didn’t get out. I watched her for a second. She was smoking and pacing out in front of the restaurant, inspecting all the town cars pulling up to the curb.
She was waiting for me.
“I’ll deal with her,” James said, but I stopped him.
“No, let me.” I jumped out of the car.
The last thing I needed right now was for Mr. and Mrs. Preston to see that my supposedly dead mother was alive and well, smoking like a fiend outside of their son’s rehearsal dinner. “Hey,” I said, rushing up to her and looking around, nervously. “What’re you doing here?”
“Nice way to greet your mother,” she said. I grabbed her elbow and dragged her to the car, shoving her inside. “Ow.”
“Shut up,” I hissed and slammed the door behind me. She was giving me a defiant look, and James was watching her face. “Ma, I would introduce you to James, but I heard you met him yesterday.”
“Hello, Mrs. Reynolds,” James said, a mask of courteousness on his face.
She nodded at him and almost looked abashed. Almost.
“James, do you mind if I speak with my mother alone? I’ll be in in just a minute.”
The look he gave me was annoyed, resigned, and not at all surprised. “Sure. But if I don’t see you in five minutes, I’m coming out to get you.” He gave me one last look. Then with a curt nod to my mother, he slid out of the car and slammed the door.
My mother blinked at me, her eyes beady in her puffy face. “He’s bossy, huh?”
I just glared at her. “Kai, can you circle the block?” He pulled out silently and headed down the street. I ducked down low, thankful for the tinted windows.
“You—ashamed of me,” she said and snorted.
My mother had all the nerve. “Do you understand that I’m on a job? I’m working. I can’t have people from my outside life dropping in on me. I could get fired. If Elena gets wind of this, I will be fired.”
“I don’t really think you need to worry about that. Do you?” She looked at me slyly.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Ma? Are you drunker than usual?”
“I am not drunk. But I had a visit from your friend yesterday. He’s bossy, but he’s generous. I think he likes you.”
“Just shut up. Please.”
She shook her head, that smug look intact. “He gave me money, Audrey. Lots of money. Just so I’d leave you alone. So you could be happy. That’s what he said!” She chuckled at this. The fact that someone wanted me to be happy was amusing to her.
“How much,” I said flatly.
“Twenty thousand dollars!” she said. She clapped her hands together in glee. “I needed a break so bad. And he gave it to me like it was nothing. It was chump change to him, Audrey. There’s a lot more where that came from.” She licked her lips, and I felt nauseous. I almost threw up right there, in the back of James’s hired Mercedes.
“Please stop,” I said.
“Oh honey—I’m just getting started.”
I looked up at her, sick with dread. “You can’t do this to me.” I felt as if I were under water, my words coming out muffled and strange. The world was crashing around me like tumultuous waves, the undercurrent fierce and scary. My mother was dragging me down again.
“All I’m gonna do is ask him for a little more money,” she said.
“He already gave you money. To be kind, Ma. Do you even understand what that means?”
“He’s got more to give. He didn’t even blink.” She paused for a second, her beady eyes studying me. “I bet he’d give you a lot more than that.”
“He’s already paying me. Through the service.”
“He’d give you more. I know he would.”
“I don’t want more. I don’t deserve more—and I don’t make it a habit of trying to suck the people around me dry.”
She smiled again, triumphant and absolutely petrifying in her dull cunning. “But you’ve been sucking him dry. That’s what you do. I bet those fancy people back there don’t know he’s paying you to do it, either.” She took in my lavender dress, my flawless makeup, and the designer bag Elena had lent me. “I bet they don’t know you’re a hooker. I bet he doesn’t want them to know.”
“I fucking hate you.” I stared at her brazenly. I’d thought it a thousand times, but I’d never said it out loud before.
She didn’t even wince. “You owe me. I brought you and Tommy into this world. Your father left me because of you kids. And now I have nothing.”
“You disgust me,” I said, my chest heaving in anger. If I hadn't had to go pretend to be a real person at a very fancy rehearsal dinner in approximately two minutes, I would have thrown myself at her and scratched her face. I was beside myself with fury.
Underneath that, her threat was like an undertow, threatening to drag me out to sea. I couldn’t let her do this to James.
I no longer cared what she did to me.
I had to protect him.
“Ma.” I made myself calm down. “I can give you more money. A lot more.” She watched me, saying nothing. “I just can’t do it now. After next week,” I said, nodding. I would give half to Tommy and half to my mom. I didn’t even care anymore. I would do anything to get her to leave us alone.
“What if I don’t want to wait? What if I think my daughter’s tricking me? And no way you’ll be able to give me as much as Mr. Fancy Pants will.” She jutted her chin out at me. “He’s filthy rich. Him and his family. I can just imagine how much they’d give me to keep quiet. To not tell the papers that you’re a hooker.”
I swallowed hard. “How did you find us tonight, anyway?”
“It was in the gossip column at The Tribune.” She shrugged.
“Just fancy rich people, flauntin’ their money, is all. While the rest of us starve.”
I looked at her barrel chest, thinking of all the cartons of cigarettes she’d inhaled into it over her lifetime at fifty dollars a pop. “You’re hardly starving. And the last time I checked, no one owed you anything.”
She jutted her chin out at me. “I don’t like your holier-than-thou attitude, girl. Never have.”
“Just put it on the long list of things you don’t like about me,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “But I’ll give you all the money you want. I mean it. It’s a lot.”
Kai pulled back up in front of the restaurant. I could see James waiting for me on the sidewalk, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “Kai, please take my mother home.” I turned to her. “If you leave us alone, I’ll give you almost all of it,” I said in a small voice. “Some of it has to go to Tommy, though.”
She nodded. She’d already stolen close to six thousand dollars from New Horizons this morning, so maybe that curbed her attitude. A little. “I’ll think about it.”
“You do that.” I looked at her, and suddenly I didn’t want to get out of the car. I wanted to go back to East Boston with her. Back to her desolate apartment where I’d been raised. That was where I belonged. When I was younger I couldn’t wait to leave that place, to be on my own. To try to do better. But I didn’t belong to better. The filth kept coming back up to claim me. I should just give in to it, let it drag me back down, where the people I cared for couldn’t be tainted by me.
“Your boyfriend’s waiting for you,” my mother said, motioning toward the car door. James was right outside, looking antsy.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I whispered, still sick.
“You might want to tell him that. You better go.”
James
“What did she say?” We were standing on the sidewalk near the restaurant, looking out at the view of the harbor. Audrey was tense beside me, her face pale and resigned. I rubbed her back, trying to make her feel better.
“She just wanted to… check in.”
“Is everything okay?”
“No. Nothing’s ever okay when it comes to my mother. But it will be fine.”
I pulled her against me. “She wants more money.” Audrey nodded stiffly. “How did she know we were here?”
“The Tribune.”
“How much does she want?”
Audrey shook her head again. “She wants whatever she can get her hands on. Don’t worry about it—I took care of it.”
“I was pretty generous with her yesterday,” I said, watching the boats go by. “That was probably a mistake. I didn’t take into consideration… how far she might go.” I laced my fingers through Audrey’s, feeling sad and angry on her behalf. Even though I should know better from personal experience, I was still surprised that a mother could be so indifferent to her child.
Or maybe it was just because it was Audrey, and I couldn't understand how anyone would want to treat her that way.
“You mean you didn’t take into consideration that she would throw me under a bus? That she would jeopardize my job? Then you underestimated her. Or maybe you overestimated her,” she said. “She doesn’t care about me. Look what she did to Tommy this morning. She doesn’t care about anybody but herself.”
I pulled her to me. “Your mother is almost making my mother look half-decent.”
We both laughed. “They’re quite a pair,” Audrey said. She sighed and looked up at me. “James… my mother might try to pull something. She threatened to.”
“What?” I asked, but I already knew.
“Tell your family about me. Expose us. Blackmail anybody and everybody she can.”
“She won’t do that,” I said. “I won’t let her get that far.”
“You can’t give her any more money,” she said. “She won’t ever stop. I’ll pay her—I already promised I would—but she has to understand that you’re a one-and-done. Otherwise, she’ll keep coming back.” She looked at me, anxiety and stubbornness playing out on her face. “Promise me.”
“Not yet—I can help you. We’ll figure it out.” I looked back at the restaurant and sighed. “We have to go in there. Dinner’s going to start, and I don’t want to call attention to us.”
“Don’t you want me to just go?” she asked. “If I leave now, she won’t be able to do anything else. Cause any more trouble. I’m worried, James. She’ll stoop as low as she can. I don’t want your family finding out about me, and I don’t want her near any of you… because she could do anything, and it would be horrible.”
“Of course I don’t want you to go. Don’t be ridiculous.” I kissed her on the forehead, careful not to mess up her makeup. She looked beautiful. She’d dressed so carefully for the occasion. I’d watched her pick out her jewelry, selecting the perfect earrings, scowling at her reflection in the mirror until she felt confident with her choices. When we’d walked through those church doors together, and I turned to look at her, my heart had just about stopped.
“I have a bad feeling about this.” She exhaled shakily. “Can you imagine what your mother would say?”
“I don’t care.” I grabbed her hand, and we headed in to dinner. We’d been gone long enough. I didn’t want my mother getting fidgety, or worse, curious. I didn’t like the way she’d been talking to Audrey at the church—I shouldn’t have flaunted our togetherness last night at the Gardner like I had. I needed to protect Audrey from my mother, to shield her.
Both my mother and her mother needed to back off and leave her alone.
Leave us alone.
Audrey hung back, stopping before we went in. “I don’t want you to get hurt, James. I don’t want to drag you and your family down. I think I should just go.” She pulled away from me, like she was going to run.
“No. Stop,” I said, holding her firmly. Panic rose inside me. “I’m the one who hired you. You can’t drag me down—we’re in this together.” I pulled her to me. “We’re going to handle your mother, and then we’re going to handle mine. And once we stop panicking, we might even be able to enjoy it. I don’t want to do this without you. Please don’t go. Don’t even say it again.”
Her eyes searched my face. “Don’t you want me to, though? Think about it.” I could tell she meant it. She thought she would be sparing me.
“Are you hearing anything I’m saying?” I felt myself getting angry, and I struggled to control it. I didn’t want to hurt her any more right now. Her mother had been bad enough. I would have Kai just take her back to the apartment to free her from the rest of the evening, but I was worried she’d be gone by the time I got back.
“No, I don’t want you to go. I want you with me. And I want this to be the end of the discussion. Can you do that for me? Can you put on your game face?”
We just looked at each other for a beat.
“Of course,” she said finally, relenting. She fake-smiled at me.
“Fake-smile more. Put your back into it,” I ordered. Her smile widened, and the actress was back. “You’re good. You’re really, really good.”
She gave out one last shaky sigh. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she said, making herself grin at me.
* * *
For better or for worse, Cole and Jenny were at the rehearsal dinner.
“Dre!” Jenny whooped, coming up and giving Audrey a jiggly hug. “This place is frickin’ amazing!”
Audrey smiled at her, but the smile was laced with worry. “It’s gorgeous. Just like you—you’re looking really good, Jenny.”
Jenny tossed her curls and modeled her gold-lamé dress. “Coley bought it for me.”
“Coley?” I asked, raising my eyebrows at my friend. “For real?”
He slapped me on the shoulder hard. “For real, bro. So shut up.” He dragged me to the long table where my entire family was seated, along with Evie’s family, all sorts of cousins, and friends. My father sat at the head of the table, resplendent in a suit, my ice pick of a mother at his si
de. I deposited Audrey with Cole and Jenny at one end of the table and went up to where Todd and Evie sat looking happy and excited. I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, and I raised it.
“I’d like to make a toast,” I said. All eyes turned to me except for my mother, who was watching Audrey and Jenny with a thinly veiled look of distaste on her face. But Audrey was watching me, a smile on her face now that looked real. She nodded at me in encouragement.
For once, I wanted to do something nice. I was tired of all the ugly. There’d been too much underbelly today. I had to be positive… for once.
“My baby brother is all grown up,” I said and patted him on the shoulder. “And I’m happy to announce he’s marrying the woman that he loves. Evie, I know that you love my brother. I do. Seeing you two together for the past week has been inspiring. I expect good things for you in the future.” My mother had turned to me now, most likely surprised. She was probably waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“So I’d like to toast the happy couple. Cheers to your wedding tomorrow, and for a lifetime of happiness to follow.” Everyone cheered, and I leaned down to Todd. “I mean it,” I said and gripped his shoulder. “I’m happy for you.”
He gave me a surprised smile. “Stop,” he said sheepishly.
“Don’t make him cry,” Evie said teasingly. She beamed at Todd. “He’s so alpha tonight.” They started kissing, and I took that as my cue to leave quickly. I sat down next to Audrey and pulled her face into my hands. I gave her a long, lingering kiss, for the moment not caring about all the radar in the world.
Maybe my mother would see that I was happy for the first time. Maybe she would soften toward Audrey.
Maybe… but probably not.
Hope is a four-letter word, I thought, but I pulled Audrey close to me anyway.
* * *
Cole dragged me to the bar after dinner. The girls had gone to the ladies’ room. “Dude,” Cole said. He ordered two bourbons.
