by A. A. Dark
Chapter 14
Detective Casey
“So, that’s it? I confess the darkest secret I have, and you shut down and refuse to speak a word to me?”
Anna glanced over from the opposite end of the elevator, shifting the backpack on her shoulder. Something had happened after my admission of how turned on her killer made me. It was wrong, and I regretted the words the moment I said them. Maybe she knew that and pulled away. Regardless, I didn’t like it. I was a man torn between right and wrong. Between what called to me and the laws I was held to uphold.
“There’s nothing left to say, Braden. About any of it. We’re two adults. We were quite swept away, had sex, and opened up probably more than we should have. Nothing’s changed.”
I smirked, shaking my head. “I’d say a hell of a lot has changed.”
The ding sounded, and Anna didn’t wait to surge forward. I followed, walking down to the end of the hall. Boston was already standing at the entrance to his room.
“I woke up and you were gone. I texted, but you never wrote me back. I was worried.”
“You texted?” Anna reached into her purse, walking in as Boston held open the door for us. She put her backpack on the bed, and then grabbed out her cell. “Oh, I’m sorry. I had it on vibrate. I didn’t hear it.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay. I saw the map.” A smile came to his face as he and Anna headed over to the desk against the far wall. On top, a large paper was taped down over the surface, aligned with roads and locations. Some were highlighted. Others where circled. “It’s amazing. You have no idea how much this helps.” Boston seemed to catch himself, glancing back toward me. “Detective…have you learned anything? Has there been any news?”
“I’m a bit surprised you didn’t ask me that first.” Both he and Anna turned completely toward me as I continued. “Actually, something has happened that you need to know.”
“Lucy?”
“No.”
I gestured to the chair, and Anna nodded as his wide eyes shot to her.
“I don’t want to sit. Fuck no. Tell me.”
“Wait.” Anna’s hand settled on Boston’s arm. “Sit. Please. What he has to tell you isn’t going to be easy, but it changes nothing. We’re still going to work hard, and we’re going to find her.”
Boston hesitated before he obeyed. The shock and jealousy weighed down my core. He listened to her. And not just listened…it was almost robotic as he grabbed her hand and held on. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“What is it, Detective? What happened?”
“We were called to a homicide this morning. A girl. One of the ones missing. She was discovered in an alleyway near downtown. Her condition was not good. This wasn’t a simple killing.”
“She was…beaten…badly?”
“Tortured.”
“Tortured? What do you mean?”
Flashes of the body came, and I contemplated how in-depth to go.
“He has to know, Braden. We both do.”
“This is for us to handle. Not the two of you. I understand you’re going to be searching and,” my hand shot up, “putting up fliers and shit, but that’s it. Ask around, but be careful. This place is not safe. Asking the wrong people could make a bad situation worse.”
“Or it could help,” Anna broke in. “Braden, please. I’m begging you. Tell us what we’re dealing with. You know what you say will not leave this room. Will it, Boston?”
He gave his head a hard shake. His anger was growing. I could see it in his hazel eyes as his free hand white-knuckled the wooden arm of the chair.
“Anna. You know I can’t do that.”
“Tell us what you can. Trust us. Trust me.”
Placing my hand on my hip, I lifted the other to squeeze the bridge of my nose. Seconds passed. Then longer, before I felt my tense body loosen.
“She was beaten with something. There was extensive bruising and tears leading from the back of her neck down to her knees. From the looks, it happened over a period of time. The worst seemed to come right before she was discarded. Mostly likely…” my head shook, “she was sexually abused. Her eyes, they were missing. But that information is not going public.”
“Jesus…fuck!” Boston flew from the chair, pulling at his hair as he groaned and sucked in deep breaths. “Fuck. Fuck!”
“That’s what you wanted?” I asked lowly to Anna. “Do you really think he needed to hear that?”
“Absolutely. He would have discovered it anyway, and it was best coming from you.” She took a few steps, reaching out to pull Boston into her arms, and he went, jerking her up off the ground to let her feet dangle while he buried his face in her neck. The sob that tore from him hit so close to home, it had my breaths becoming almost labored. “Shhh. It’s okay. We’ll find her. I promise. We won’t stop until we do.”
“I can’t lose her, Anna. I won’t. I’ll…God, if they hurt her. If—” Another heartbreaking sound left him. Boston collapsed on the edge of the bed, bringing Anna to sit with him as he continued to hold on and break even more. Watching him, seeing what I went through as I looked at him, I almost had to walk away. Jealousy wasn’t there in the moment. I couldn’t see anything but myself.
Boston Marks grieved a woman destined for death. She may have been alive now, but if we didn’t find her soon, she wouldn’t be for much longer. His pain. His dilemma. I knew exactly what he was feeling. I’d lived it. There were no words for the despair that crept deep into one’s soul, shredding through it like tissue paper when a piece of you was taken away. But that was life—love. Time always found ways to rip jagged, gaping holes in us all. Especially me.
“I know you’re terrified and you hurt right now, but look at me.” Anna leaned her upper body back, using her cupped hand on Boston’s jaw to make his gaze rise. “Use what you know. What you feel. Bottle it and put all your focus into our search. Lucy needs you. She needs you more than she ever has or ever will again. Right now is not the time to let yourself shut down over the details. Take the knowledge of this killer and pick him apart like I’m doing. Do you understand me? Your attention needs to be on him. Not her. Not yet.”
“You’re right.” Boston took a shuddering breath, not even glancing up as he headed for the map. Anna stood, walking over to me, and gestured for me to follow. We made our way to the door, stepping out, while she held it cracked with her foot.
“Thank you. I know you didn’t want to do that. It helps me more than you know.”
“Does it? How?”
She brushed back her blonde hair and paused while she tried searching for what to say. “I knew it was something about the eyes. It was the only thing besides age that linked the girls. Knowing he removes them tells me whatever it is about the color, it goes back quite a ways. His first victim—or a woman maybe he wished was his. It wouldn’t be his mother if he’s taking the girls so young. And he’s raping and beating them to extreme measures. He’s beyond angry; he’s pissed, and that means to him, it’s personal. We don’t have very long.”
“I agree, but, Anna, we need to talk. What you’re doing with Boston, I’m not okay with. You’re putting yourself in the way of another killer. What if he hears or sees what the two of you are doing? What if he comes after you next?”
“He won’t get me.”
Her anger and confidence had my voice deepening. “You don’t know that. Anything is possible. I can’t…I won’t go through that again.”
“You won’t have to.”
“Damn right I won’t.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying—” I cut myself off, searching her stare for an alternative—for anything to make me not push her farther away. But it was useless. The truth was, I’d go as far as it took to keep Anna safe. She meant everything to me. “I’m saying if you cross any lines or break any laws, you’ll find yourself behind bars faster than you can blink. Don’t push me. Stay safe and stay out of our way. Let us do our job, or I’ll let the news station
know you’re hindering an investigation and you may find yourself without one.”
Betrayal. Pain. I knew every expression she made, and both were heavily etched into her features as she looked at me in disbelief.
“You go too far.”
“Not far enough, or else you wouldn’t even be here with Boston right now. What’s happening is for the authorities to investigate. You are not a cop. You are not a detective. You are not FBI. You are not trained to deal with these types of people.”
“I’m going to have to disagree. I think out of everyone you mentioned, I am the most qualified. He and I think alike. I’ve been on both sides, victim and killer. Tell me out of all the schooling authorities take, who can match me? No one, because this isn’t something you learn in a classroom. My hands are dirty, and my mind is marred. And I’m smarter for it. I’ll find this killer, Braden. Ten-to-one, I’ll find him long before you.”
Chapter 15
Anna
I wanted him to see, to know, the Anna who stood before him. For as long as I could remember, I had hidden who I was. From the public. From him. From myself. Although I would never be completely open with Braden, the part of me that loved him wanted something. Maybe a speck of acceptance. Maybe his love, despite the monster I still was. Maybe even…no—not respect. No matter what Braden confessed to me, he and I weren’t the same. He didn’t crave the violence or the blood like I did. But we did share at least the smallest thing in common—cold revenge. Not the kind that consisted of the courts, but one laced with satisfying justice. The kind that warmed your stomach and sped up your pulse. The righteousness of retribution. Vengeance. Even if he wouldn’t give himself over to it completely, he’d committed murder once, and that was something I could use to my advantage.
“You have such confidence in yourself, Anna. If you ask me, too much. You forget I’ve been on both sides as well. Not to the same extent, but that doesn’t make me less capable.”
I pushed the door open even more and inched deeper into Boston’s hotel room. “Perhaps not. But everything you knew didn’t help you find me, now did it?”
Pain drained the color from Braden’s face, only turning it cold as his eyes narrowed into a glare. Regret engulfed me, but I managed to keep my features lax.
“Wow…you’re so quick to allow fear to overpower your love for me. We were getting closer to working this out, and up go your walls. How much are you hurting right now? I bet pushing me away is killing you, isn’t it?” He leaned forward as tears began to burn my eyes. “Answer me. Is holding a grudge easier than forgiving me for something I had no control over? Is this rage worth more than what we once shared? I did everything I could to try to find you. I wanted to marry you. I planned to—”
“You should go.”
“When I finish.” The clipped words were growled through clenched teeth. “You may not want to hear what I have to say, but I’m going to damn well get this off my chest once and for all. Before you were taken, I bought a ring. I was going to propose. I spent days—hell, weeks—trying to plan the perfect way to ask you to marry me. Looking back, I was terrified. Not at spending the rest of my life with you, but at your possible rejection. What if you said no? What if you said yes? What if I couldn’t make you as happy as you deserved?” His head cocked to the side. “I see how absurd those questions are now. Nothing compared to the hell I had to live without you in my life. God, I would trade anything in the world to be back in those moments of petty uncertainty. To know you were mine was all that mattered. To wake up with you in my arms and know I had your love. Your trust.” A deep breath left him. “Right now, your ring is sitting on top of the dresser inside my apartment, where it has been since you kicked me out of our home. Ours, Anna. We had a life together. A beautiful, wonderful life. Can you honestly tell me you don’t love me enough to forgive something that wasn’t my fault? That you don’t want what we once had?”
Thudding shook my entire body as invisible pressure had me glancing over my shoulder into the hotel room. Boston was standing over the map, but he was watching me. Hearing us.
My fingers tightened on the door knob, and I swallowed through the tightness of my throat.
“Your dream was with the old me. She wasn’t real, Braden. Or, if she was, she died back in that home where she had been kept. I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
I stepped back, forcing myself to memorize the heartbreak I was causing him as I shut the barrier between us. Braden didn’t deserve this. He wasn’t safe. This new me—the Anna who had been awakened—wasn’t a good person. To continue this closeness with Braden was only going to get one of us in trouble.
The wooden surface was cool as I rested my forehead on the door. Darkness had never been so inviting as exhaustion left me off balance.
“He loves you.”
Boston’s voice had me opening my eyes and turning to face him. I didn’t reply as I headed toward the map he was resting his fingers on. As I approached, he straightened.
“Anna—”
“Detective Casey and I are not relevant to finding Lucy. Let’s go over this map. We’ll start here,” I said, pointing to the top and gesturing to the surroundings in a circular motion. “The outskirts of the city are promising. Then again, he’ll think we’d suspect that. No One kept me in town,” I said quieter. “Quite close to the police station. But this person…” I blinked hard, trying to get the words I’d written to focus. “This person,” my finger moved inward, closer to the city, staying more toward the outskirts, “he won’t be in town. He won’t be on the outskirts either.”
Back and forth, my finger moved—in between the city and outskirts, to the south, where the gardens were.
I traced, going between three different main routes. It would be easier to continue south. It was a direct shot to get out of the city in record time. Less exposure. Less chance of getting caught. Of course, I could be completely wrong and he came from the east side, which wasn’t much different than the south. Once out of the city, it was mostly farmland.
“You’re leaning toward the south.” Boston pointed to the three main roads I had been studying.
“It’s easy access to the gardens and surrounding area where the other girls were taken. It’s the safest route for him to travel, and he would be covering his ass.”
“But he knew Lucy, or that I’d have her. That call wasn’t for nothing. It was a distraction. So where did he come from, and where did he go? South?”
“Or east,” I breathed out. “It’s the closest road he could have taken by the gardens. It leads to farmland, just like the south. All of this,” I said, waving my hand, “is nothingness. Acres upon acres of random farmhouses, barns. I should make a bigger map.”
“Fuck. I need coffee. Did you sleep at all?”
“No. Not yet. I think I’m good for another hour or two. I’ll expand—”
Boston paused, grabbing the coffee mug as his head shook. “You’re going to drop where you stand. You need to sleep. At least a few hours.” He laid the mug down, ignoring it as he led me to the bed. “Rest. I can draw the basics on the map. It’ll give me something to do until you wake. Do you need to change? Shower? You brought a backpack. You’re staying then, like I asked?”
“Yes. I showered at home, but I do need to change. I won’t sleep for long.” I walked around him, grabbing my backpack and going toward the bathroom. Boston didn’t move as I headed inside and shut the door. I should have felt uneasy or awkward as I put on my pajama pants with the matching tee, but I wasn’t. Lucy stole any defensive emotions I normally would have felt. I was a woman on a mission, and she was my only concern as I brushed my teeth and headed back into the room.
Even as I approached the bed, my eyes kept going to the map—back to Boston as he glanced up from the chair, watching me. The last thing I wanted was sleep, but I was already not functioning like Lucy needed me to.
The light clicked on at the desk, and I reached up, turning the one next to the bed off. Darkness greete
d me better than any lover had. It welcomed me back, and within the void of approaching unconsciousness, my mind raced. Thoughts twisted, and scenes flashed. Lucy’s pictures appeared, and I could see her in motion, coming to life before me.
Blonde hair swayed with her movements, and the gardens were suddenly in view. Flowers had blossomed. Hedges. People randomly walked around while others viewed the vibrant colors. It was so real, I could smell the sweetness. I could feel the sun on me, warming my skin.
I was suddenly walking. Stalking. I took in her face from different angles as I approached. Lowering my gaze, my focus went to the smooth, tanned skin of her neck before analyzing the perfection of her profile. I knew her, although I didn’t technically know her at all. Did her abductor?
Thoughts stretched through the multiple questions filtering through. Longer, I stared at her, circling around as she stared ahead. Stared at Boston. He had a call. A distraction. The killer was here. Or someone… They knew names. Locations. Times. They knew…
Thick shadows moved up from behind her as I stared into eyes. Green eyes. Wide, terrified eyes. Depths that held a future only I knew. Was she being tortured? Raped? Was it about that, or something more? Was she connected to this killer? Instinct told me, somehow, yes. But Lucy wasn’t from here. Not like the other girls. So how would this person have picked her that morning, on such short notice, and learned Boston’s name, and that they’d even be in Rockford? It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t impossible, but it wasn’t probable either.
Deeper, I pushed into the part of me I always tried to close off. Thoughts faded, stolen by the sleep that kept trying to come, but I managed to let my mind continue to run.
The dark mass was thickening behind her. White. A handkerchief. Motive. Planning. All for her. For a girl who wasn’t a native to the area. For one, she was from Massachusetts and Florida. They weren’t at the gardens long enough for someone to get names from anything other than conversation. A smart kidnapper? An acquaintance?
