by L. D. Davis
I was really too tired to think about it. I was tired before we started but now I was almost completely drained.
I could feel my hair on my neck, knowing that most of it had fallen out of the french roll. I knew it was really a mess and I wondered what Jessyca would say about it now.
I didn't know if it was because I was overly tired or slightly off balanced, but imagining Jess's face if she saw my hair and me knowing how it got that way made me giggle. Once I started, I almost couldn't stop. Kyle looked at me as if I had completely come unhinged.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, bewildered.
"Nothing. I guess I'm just delirious because I'm so tired and worn out." I said after I managed to stop.
He raised his eyebrows, but he looked worn out, too. His eyes were red and sagging and he kept rubbing them.
"If you're too tired to go home, you can crash in Emmet's old room," I suggested. I still didn't know what else to say, how to address what just happened.
He looked at me blankly, as if he had not understood. Then he blinked hard and seemed to get it.
"Thanks. I appreciate that. I can't keep my eyes open much longer."
"I have to take my parents to the airport in a few hours, but you can sleep as long as you like."
Kyle followed me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I walked him to Emmet's room and turned on the light for him.
"Goodnight," I said, about to walk out the door, but he stopped me and kissed me.
"Goodnight." He said after releasing me.
I went to my bedroom with a crooked smile. I was feeling feverish and achy, probably from our sexcapades in the kitchen. I took a quick shower and then crawled into bed, really wanting to think about Kyle and imagine what will happen next, but a nagging guilt was building. Luke came to mind, and even though we never claimed to be that serious, it still felt like cheating. That was something else for me to ponder, but my brain was feeling rather murky. I had a long day and long night. A good night's sleep should help.
Chapter Thirteen
When I woke up in the morning, my head was no longer murky. I slept like the dead. I still felt like a cheater.
The first thing I did was go see if Kyle was still around. I stepped into the hallway and listened. I heard my mom moving around in the kitchen humming, and I heard the rustling of the newspaper from the formal living room from my dad. I tip toed to Emmet's door and carefully opened it. The bed was empty and made. There was no sign of Kyle, save for his wallet peeking out from under the bed.
Sonofabitch.
I grabbed the wallet and retreated back to my bedroom. I left it on my bed while I got ready to take a shower, but I kept looking at the wallet. I wondered what was inside of it. Condoms? Pictures of Jess? A lock of my hair?
"None of my business," I said out loud to the wallet. "Just because you were abandoned - again - doesn't mean that I can freely go through you. That would be wrong, you know?"
I took my shower, brushed my teeth and applied deodorant. When I stepped back into my room in a towel, the wallet was still there, enticing me. I turned my back on it, got dressed, and brushed my hair.
"Well, if you're just going to sit there and stare at me," I said before picking up the wallet.
I carefully opened it, expecting what, I didn't know. I found a few credit cards, business cards for restaurants, car dealers, a few work-related cards, and I even found one for an upscale strip club with the name Tandi printed on it.
Hmm.
I counted a hundred and thirty dollars in cash. I didn't find any pictures, or condoms, or any of my hair, but I did find a piece of folded paper that looked promising. I carefully unfolded the paper. Written in Kyle's handwriting was the address of the bar he found me at, my bar. I owned the bar. I bought it just after my 25th birthday. It wasn't common knowledge that the bar was mine. My family knew, my best friend Donya knew, and Lilly the bartender knew. The rest of my employees didn't even know the woman who occupies the same stool a couple of nights a week was their boss. So, why did Kyle have it written down and when did he write it down?
I didn't have time to think about it. I heard my mom coming up the stairs and it was almost time to leave. I slipped the wallet into my tote bag just as my mom barged into my room.
"I was wonderin' if you were awake or not. What time did that boss of yours leave? He's a good looking man. Too bad he's with that Venner woman." She had started making my bed.
"What? You don't like Luke?"
"I think he's great, but I like that Kyle, too."
"Kyle can be a dick," I said, edging toward the door.
"Well, honey, you're no angel."
"It doesn't matter. As you just pointed out, Kyle's with that Venner woman."
"Yes. Well." She stood upright, fluffed a pillow and put it back on the bed. "Since he is with that Venner woman and you are with Luke, he should probably be more careful how he looks at you when you're surrounded by two hundred and some other people."
"What are you talking about?"
"He couldn't keep his eyes off of you last night, and I saw his face when you didn't want to dance to that slow song. If I saw all of that, then who else did?"
"Maybe you're the only one who saw what you think you saw," I said, hoping to dissuade her. "I don't think it's as dramatic as you think it is."
"Yes. Well." She started opening the blinds. "Maybe if it weren't for the enormous hickey on your neck that wasn't there when I left you two alone last night, I would be inclined to believe that I'm imagining things."
I raced to the mirror to look at my neck.
"Shit!" I yelled. I didn't really look in the mirror when I was getting ready. I don't need a mirror to brush my teeth or my hair. "Fuck!"
"Don't let your daddy see that," Mom said before exiting my room.
After putting on a jacket that better hid my neck, I got my parents' loaded into the car and deposited them at the airport. I went over the bridge and raced up 295 to Cherry Hill. I parked outside of Kyle's apartment building, next to his Lexus. I had to put an end to this. No more hickies, because his lips couldn't touch me again. The truth is, my relationship with Luke was getting heavy, and I really felt something for him. Maybe love?
After taking the elevator to Kyle's floor, I half hoped that he wasn't actually home, that Jess changed her mind about leaving and picked him up, or he was abducted by aliens. I punched the doorbell and he opened the door seconds later, wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. So much for aliens.
I held up his wallet.
"Again?" He asked, plucking it from my hand.
"I'm starting to believe you're doing it on purpose, like you're leaving your mark."
His eyebrows went up. "I don't need to leave a mark. I'm memorable."
"I beg to differ," I said and pulled my jacket back at the collar.
"I do good work," he said, touching the hickey.
"Yeah, whatever. Have a good day, boss." I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. He took my bag from me and put it on the floor by the door.
"Why don't you stay a little while?" He caressed my hand in a way that made me a little melty.
"I really shouldn't."
"Why not?"
"You know why."
"Because you can't resist me?"
"Funny." I started to pull away again, but he pulled me further inside and then closed the door.
"Why are you in such a hurry to leave?" He wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me closer.
"Because you have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend."
"Yeah...we should get rid of them."
"You don't mean that," I said, trying to break away.
"I'm not sure that I do," he whispered. "For reasons I don't want to get into. I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about us."
"Us?" I raised one eyebrow.
"I love you," he whispered, staring into my eyes.
So, it wasn't just in the heat of the moment. I star
ed at him, startled, unsure of what to say. I tried to pull away from him again, but he pulled me even closer and held me tightly.
"Do you love me?" He asked.
"I can't..." I couldn't remember what I couldn't do. He was staring at me so intensely, I lost my train of thought.
"You can't what? Love me? I think you already do."
I shook my head. No. No way. Hell naw.
He pressed me into a closet door.
"Don't lie to me. Don't ever lie to me." He kissed me so hard it hurt, but it hurt so damn good. "Tell me you love me," he whispered.
I shook my head. I couldn't breathe. My heart was in my throat and it was beating faster than I thought possible.
"Stop shaking your head. You love me, I know you do."
"I have to leave," I managed.
"No, you don't, but if you tell me you love me, I'll let you go."
"Sex does not equal love."
"I know that, but I loved you before I ever touched you."
I stared at him with my mouth open. It felt like déja vu. Luke and I were wrapped in a similar scene not very long ago. What was with men secretly carrying a flame for me?
I left my mouth open too long, because Kyle planted his mouth on mine. He kissed me for a long time, more tenderly this time. I kissed him back, like a reflex.
"I love you," he said again, his face buried in my hair, and then I felt his mouth on my neck, gently kissing where he had marked me.
I involuntarily moaned, but with all of the strength I had, I shoved him away from me. I felt tears burning in my eyes and did the best I could to blink them back.
I was sure I loved Luke. The problem was I was also sure I loved Kyle.
"I love Luke," I said weakly.
"Yeah. And I love Jessyca," he took a step closer. "But I can't help how I feel about you. I love you, Emmy. You love me, too or you wouldn't be crying."
"I'm not crying!" I wiped at my eyes.
"Just say it."
I hastily pushed past him to the front door.
"I have to go," I said and slammed the door behind me.
I marched down the hall and took the elevator all the way down and almost got to my car before I realized I didn't have my bag, therefore, I didn't have my keys or wallet.
"Fuck!" I stomped my foot and went back inside.
Kyle opened the door before I could knock or hit the bell. He had a stupid grin on his face as he held my pocketbook up in one hand.
"It's not funny," I said, snatching the bag from his hand.
"It would have really been a great exit if you didn't forget your purse," he said. "I tried to look through it, but you have way too much shit in there."
"I feel violated."
"Like you didn't look through my wallet."
"Why do you have the name and address of the bar in your wallet?" I blurted out.
"I told you, I loved you for a while."
"That's not an answer."
"Why don't you at least come inside?" He stepped aside so I could get in.
I looked at him with suspicion.
"Chicken."
"I am not chicken." I stormed inside.
"Want a drink?" He asked, walking past me towards the kitchen.
"No."
"How about a bottle of water?"
"Okay." I accepted the water while he cracked open a beer. "Now, answer my question."
"What did you want to know?"
"Why do you have that address?"
"Oh, the bar. So I could punch it into my GPS."
"Why?"
"So I could find it. I thought you were smart."
I smacked his elbow just as he was lifting the beer to his lips. Beer spilled down his bare chest. He looked down his chest and when he looked up again he was grinning.
"Two of your favorite things. Me and beer. Wanna lick it off?"
"Why did you want to find the bar?"
"Because I wanted to see it."
"Stop being elusive!" I smacked him again.
"Emmy, you were going to be working directly under me, handling my professional and personal business. You have access to everything I have access to. I needed to know who you really were."
"Wait," I held up a hand. "You were 'interested' in me before I started working for you?"
"Professionally, yeah. Everything else soon followed."
"So, why did you suddenly appear at the bar that night if you had known about it for so long?"
"I was very mean to you that day, and I wanted to come apologize."
"You were very mean every day," I pointed out. "All of the time."
"Yeah, but I was meanest to you."
That was true. As mean as Kyle could be to his staff, I always took the brunt of it. Some days I felt like he was purposely trying my patience. Now I believe that was exactly what he was doing.
"Why?" I asked.
"Stupid guy thing," he said, shaking his head at himself. "I can't even explain it."
"Seems juvenile," I said. "Like the little boys who torture the girls they have a thing for."
"Yeah, I guess it's a lot like that. I'm sorry."
I didn't know what to say. I just stood there with my arms crossed, glaring at him. I thought boys grew out of that stuff by the ninth grade. Apparently not all do.
"I was going to order some lunch and watch some movies. Do you want to hang out?"
My eyebrows went up and he smiled.
"I promise I won't try to force you to say what I know you feel," he grinned. "And I promise I won't try to take you out of your clothes. We'll just chill and watch the movies and eat some food."
"What movies?" I asked suspiciously.
"Lord of the Rings. I've never seen them."
"Seriously, do you live under a rock?"
I followed him to the living room where he produced three different menus. Why I didn't just leave after I got my explanation, I don't know. I asked that question aloud while we sat on the couch debating what to order.
"Because you love me," Kyle said with a wink.
This time I didn't object or give him a reproachful look. Instead, I chose buffalo wings and onion rings off of a menu and made myself comfortable on the couch.
Three long ass movies, several buffalo wings and countless beers later, I was stretched out on Kyle's couch with my feet resting in his lap. The credits were rolling, but I wasn't moving. He was rubbing my feet and it was making me deliriously relaxed, and turning me on.
He held true to his word and didn't try to disrobe me all day, and didn't try to force his tongue down my throat. He kissed my cheek and the top of my head, rubbed my elbow when I hit it on the bathroom door and it was not funny. He cracked jokes about hobbits, made fun of my obsession of Orlando Bloom, and listened intently when I compared the books to the movies. Now he was rubbing my feet and I wanted him to rub me in a few other places.
I pulled my feet off of his lap and sat up.
"I love a good LOTR marathon," I yawned as I slipped on my shoes.
"You don't have to leave," Kyle said, looking as lustful as I felt.
"You know I do."
"I can take the couch, you can have my bed."
I stood up and stretched.
"We both know that won't work."
He followed me to the door.
"Why not?"
"You know why," I slipped into my jacket and opened the door.
"Tell me why," he said softly. He was grinning, so I knew that he knew why.
I bit my lip as I contemplated what I was about to do and say. I was going to say what he wanted to hear, but then I'd never get out of there. I wanted to kiss him, same end result.
I smiled and waved goodnight before walking away.
Good girl.
Chapter Fourteen
It was a busy work day the next day, leaving little time for casual conversation between me and Kyle. At least he wasn't being a dick. He was actually scaring the staff, smiling and being polite. They didn't know what to ma
ke of it.
Later in the day my phone rang and I answered it without looking to see who it was.
"Sterling Corp, this is Emmy."
"Hello, Emmy," Kyle said in a professional tone. "Mr. Kyle Sterling would like to know if you are available for dinner this evening."
"Dinner?"
"Yes, it's the meal after lunch but before dessert."
"Oh, that meal."
"Yes, that meal. Perhaps even a movie."
"Why? Is there another epic movie you have yet to see?"
"I was thinking we can see something you would be more interested in, like a chick flick. I can do a chic flick if necessary."
"Totally not necessary. I don't do chick flicks."
"Maybe I like chic flicks. Maybe I am in the mood for some Pretty Woman or Sense and Sensibility."
"So you like getting in touch with your feminine side?"
"Do you think I have a feminine side?" He asked in a tone that made me squirm in my seat.
"No," I said. "So what movie did you have in mind?"
"How about a classic? Like Weird Science."
"That hardly classifies as a classic. Why don't we decide later? I have Netflix, we can watch something off of there."
"And what about dinner?"
"What do you want to eat?"
"You."
I squirmed again.
"Behave or you'll be all alone tonight," I reprimanded.
"I'll bring something."
"Okay. Now hang up. I have a lot of work to do and I don't feel like hearing any shit from my boss."
"That guy's a douche."
"Douche excrement."
"Right. Later."
I hung up the phone and looked around to make sure no one had witnessed our conversation. Everyone seemed hard at work, but you never know...
Kyle walked out of his office a minute later. Our eyes locked and he found a smile reserved just for me that almost made me fall out of my chair.
We ended up watching a chick flick after Kyle found one hidden in my movie collection. Love Actually is one of those movies I can watch repeatedly and never grow tired of.
"I think you secretly love girly movies," I said to Kyle afterward.
We were sitting side by side and his arm was behind me across the back of the couch.
