by Jane Plume
It was quite a hot day and we were having a brilliant time but, as we walked down to the track to see my nephews’ race, Shaun took his cap off to wipe the sweat from his forehead then looked down at his hand. It was covered in hair. He had been warned the chemotherapy would make his hair fall out so it had only been a matter of time but Gina and I just looked at each other, wondering what to say. It was a really awkward moment but Shaun took it all in his stride.
‘Oh well,’ he said with a smile on his face. ‘It will make it easier not to shave.’
Once again, I marvelled at his bravery. I know full well if it had been me I would have been in bits, but that was Shaun all over. He just got on with it.
Both Gina and Shaun decided that they wanted to try and make a positive out of the situation and that they would throw themselves into fundraising. Naturally, I wanted to help in any way I could and so did everyone who knew them. Our friends Emma and Sharon held a cake stall for the Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation. Shaun’s rugby team organised a car wash, T-shirts were made with the slogan ‘support your local hooker’ – the position that Shaun played – and we sold Livestrong wristbands. Shaun and his rugby friends even did a naked photo shoot for a team calendar – I still have one hanging proudly on my bedroom wall!
One of the biggest events was the coast-to-coast cycle ride that we organised in aid of the Roy Castle Foundation. And, boy, did it take some organising! We planned it for 27 July, Ashton’s fourth birthday, and the team would cycle from Whitehaven to Sunderland, 135 miles in total, in twenty-four hours. We had to arrange transport to get the bikes to the starting point and to carry spare wheels and other kit, sort out accommodation for the night before and somewhere for us to stop for lunch so the lads could have a breather. David and Sally, some mutual friends, had family that lived in Consett, which was approximately halfway and they organised a local pub to provide refreshments for us when we arrived. The charity provided T-shirts and the people taking part trained for weeks before the event.
At last the day arrived. The lads hoping to complete the bike ride were Shaun’s brothers, David and Andy, my nephew Stephen and Shaun’s rugby teammates. Shaun himself was planning to complete part of the ride. Then we had a support crew made up of Shaun’s dad, Mick, and Mel, the partner of one of the rugby lads, and me. John (or Oddjob, as he was more commonly known) would drive the van carrying spare wheels and other essentials, and we all had fluids, first aid kits and other gear in our cars.
We had an early start, up at 4.30 a.m. Gina would follow later with the kids once Ashton had opened his birthday presents, as would Lisa and Jenny, David and Andy’s wives.
We got to the official starting point and everyone stood in a line on the beach, with the back wheels of their bikes in the water’s edge. Then they were off! I cannot put into words the strength, pain and commitment of the riders on that day. Whenever people were struggling, they would offer words of encouragement to each other, shouting, ‘Come on, this is for Buster,’ which had been Shaun’s nickname for many years. The bike ride was less than a week away from Shaun’s last dose of chemotherapy and he had to be closely monitored due to the risk of infection, so I flagged him over every hour to take his temperature. Even so, he managed to complete around 85 miles of the ride himself, which showed an incredible amount of courage and determination.
At last we arrived at Consett for the much-needed pit stop. Gina had brought Ashton a cake and we all sang happy birthday as he blew out his candles. Then we were off again. All the riders were exhausted but no one was going to give up! When we got around ten miles from the end we agreed that the support team would go and wait for them at the finish line, where they would dip their front wheels into the water’s edge to signify that they really had ridden from coast to coast. As we stood patiently waiting we saw the riding helmets just coming into view, then they all stopped.
‘What on earth are they playing at?’ Gina and I said to each other, but moments later they were on the move again. They had stopped to allow Shaun to get to the front of the pack and to make sure no one was left behind. As they rode down the promenade they were all together, with Shaun proudly leading them. Gina and the kids were punching the air, cheering loudly and clapping their hands, as were the whole crowd of friends and family. We were all so proud to be sharing that moment. Gina ran the last few feet to meet Shaun, then threw her arms around his neck, smothering him in kisses. It’s fair to say that it was very emotional and I have never seen so many men shed tears. They had achieved what they had set out to do and had done it in a remarkable fifteeen hours!
I was and still am so proud to have been just a small part of that day.
• • •
A few days after the coast-to-coast cycle ride I was at Gina and Shaun’s when Gina ushered me into the kitchen.
‘I want us to renew our wedding vows’ she whispered.
‘Brilliant!’ I said. ‘What does Shaun think?’
‘Well, I’ve briefly mentioned it in passing but I’m not sure whether he took me seriously. I thought you could ask him for me,’ she giggled. ‘I’m going shopping so do it now, while I’m out.’
As she spoke, she was gently pushing me into the lounge where Shaun sat and then I heard the front door shut. She really had gone to the shops and left me to it! I couldn’t be annoyed because I knew how much this meant to Gina. In her eyes, their vows had been broken when they had separated for a short while, and now with Shaun being so ill and his life being limited renewing their vows meant everything to her.
At first, I sat down and had a bit of a chat with Shaun about nothing in particular. ‘How the hell am I supposed to approach this one?’ I thought to myself. Then I took a deep breath and said, ‘You know Gina wants to renew her wedding vows?’
Shaun peered over his mug of tea at me.
‘She has mentioned it,’ he said calmly.
‘Well, what do you think?’ I asked, with my fingers crossed in my lap.
‘Is it really that important to her?’ he replied.
I nodded and smiled saying, ‘You know it is.’
‘Fine,’ he said, happily. ‘If that’s what she wants, let’s do it. But you two can sort it out. Just tell me where to be and what time.’
I was thrilled. And just a short time later, I heard Gina come back. She tentatively put her head around the lounge door, out of sight of Shaun. I put my two thumbs up and she shrieked, then she went over to Shaun and gave him the biggest hug. ‘Thank you, babe, it means so much to me.’
He hugged her back and repeated, mischievously, ‘Just sort it out and tell me where I have to be and when.’
Not a problem for Gina – she couldn’t wait to get started on the arrangements.
From then on it was all go. She chose the date of 30 August 2009, just a few weeks away. Gina and Shaun agreed that, as well as a celebration of their love, it also would be a fundraising event so it was decided that rather than the traditional reception they would have a fun day. There was so much to do and to arrange but the excitement of it all just carried us along.
Gina had never really had a proper hen night when she and Shaun had originally got married, so Emma and I decided to make up for it this time round – and then some! We told Gina we were just arranging a quiet meal in a local restaurant and asked who she would want to be there, then we started planning, all without Gina having a clue. To this day, I have no idea how we managed it because she was so nosey.
The night arrived, we had decorated the restaurant and the table, and my niece had made fortune cookies with a pretty little tag saying ‘Gina’s night’ attached to them. We brought an array of the usual hen night stuff – pink fluffy L-plates, shot glasses on a necklace, that sort of thing. We had dreamed up a forfeit for every guest, which they could present to Gina throughout the night. When Gina arrived she burst into tears. She really had no idea, but at least this time they were tears of happiness.
We had a great time in the restaurant but soon it was time
to leave for the other pubs in town. Gina got presented with one of her forfeits, which was to ‘travel in style’. No, we hadn’t booked a limo, it was a spacehopper – the big orange ball with a face on it, which you sat on to bounce along. Tonight that was Gina’s mode of transport. She took it all in her stride and bounced all the way through Loughborough town centre to the shouts of onlookers and car horns being beeped at her, but she really didn’t care! There were lots of other forfeits including wearing a pair of ‘granny’ shoes that Emma had found in a charity shop – Gina loved that one because her feet were hurting in her high heels – plus she had to wear the biggest pair of pants we could find on the market, a pair of beige Y-fronts. Gina duly pulled them on over her posh outfit and took many more forfeits with a giggle. That was Gina all over. She was out to enjoy life and never gave a hoot what anyone thought of her.
After a few drinks in the pub, we were going to go on to a club. Gina stood in the pub, chatting away with a drink in her hand and she was having a great evening. Last orders were called and then the bouncers moved in to say, ‘Drink up, ladies. Time to go.’ Suddenly, I saw Gina freeze and the glass just slipped out of her hand. I knew exactly what she was thinking. We had been in so many pubs where it would be Shaun on the door, saying, ‘Come on, you two. Drink up. It’s kicking out time.’ As the glass hit the floor, she just turned and ran, so I tapped Emma on the shoulder and we ran after her. I caught up with her outside and she was sobbing. I put my arms around her just as her legs went out from under her. Emma and I both held her. Her heart was breaking in front of me. It was devastating to see her like that.
• • •
Finding the perfect outfit for the day was never going to be easy as Gina’s self-critical streak always emerged when she was trying clothes on. Emma and I decided that when we took Gina shopping for her vows renewal dress we would make it a day to remember, and it definitely was. Gina wasn’t even sure what colour she wanted to wear, let alone what style, so we went in countless shops and she tried on numerous dresses, but she was never one hundred per cent happy with any of them. The assembly of the whole outfit was getting a bit back to front. She bought shoes, a necklace, even a dainty band for her hair. She also wanted some Bridget Jones style ‘hold-me-in pants’ so Emma and I found the most garish ones in the shop and then had to go into Gina’s changing room and try to pull them up for her, which none of us could do for laughing so much! At one point, Gina fell over onto her bum as she tried to get herself into them and she grabbed the changing room curtain as she went down, yanking it open for all to see. We laughed hysterically and I caught the whole thing on camera.
We had a ball of a day but as time was getting on Gina looked sad.
‘I’m never going to find anything to wear,’ she said wearily.
‘Yes, you will,’ Emma and I chorused.
‘We can go to Nottingham at the weekend if we have to, and we will find you the dream dress,’ I added.
As we were walking back to the car, I noticed a dress in the window of the Laura Ashley shop. We hadn’t been in there as it wasn’t a shop that any of us would normally enter, but the colour had caught my eye – such a deep, rich pink. It was made from a material that flowed so beautifully, it really did look like liquid. It was floor length, with a band around the middle, and above that it flowed up over the shoulders, giving the bodice a dramatic V neckline. I pointed out the dress to Gina and we marched straight in.
The sales assistant explained that it was the last dress and it was a size 10. Gina’s face crumpled; she was a size 12.
‘Try it on anyway,’ Emma and I coaxed. Gina reluctantly disappeared into the changing room and re-emerged from it a minute later looking absolutely beautiful. The dress fitted perfectly and the colour looked gorgeous on her. Emma and I both had tears running down our cheeks. There is only one word to describe how Gina looked: stunning.
‘Do you think Shaun will like it?’ she asked, suddenly unsure.
‘He’ll love it,’ I replied ‘But then again, Shaun would love you in a bin bag.’
It was the perfect end to a perfect day. My best friend was happy and that’s all I could ask for.
A few days later, over a cup of tea and a table full of plans for the big day, Gina said, ‘Remember you said you would do anything for us?’
‘Of course,’ I said, a little warily. What could she have in mind?
‘Well, there is one thing,’ she said, with a playful smile. When she told me her plan I laughed.
‘Of course. I would love to help!’
It was going to take some organising but if that was what my best friend wanted then that was what she was going to get!
• • •
At last the big day arrived. A friend had borrowed an old Jaguar car and I had had ribbons and bows made for it. Shaun knew about the car, but Gina didn’t have a clue and apparently her face was a picture when he turned up to collect her. My nephew Paul was a photographer and had agreed to take pictures for them. Lewis and Ashton looked the part in their black trousers and waistcoats, with silver ties that matched their dad’s. The guests filed in to the church and took their seats, with some standing because the church was full to bursting.
As Gina arrived, sixteen of us stood up and walked to the back of the church. The gathered guests, including Shaun, turned round in confusion. Then the music started to play – The Whispers’ disco classic ‘It’s a Love Thing’ – and we all put huge sunglasses on our heads and started dancing down the aisle towards a bewildered Shaun. We had practised the dance time and time again, wanting to make sure it was right for their big day. We kept the moves simple and we all stayed perfectly in time with each other, including Gina. I don’t know how she managed it. I would have been too nervous to remember what I was supposed to be doing. After a few bars, even the vicar was bobbing along! The dance ended with Gina walking down the middle of us with a huge grin on her face. Everyone was laughing, singing and clapping along and I squeezed her hand as she got to Shaun, who was beaming with pride.
The ceremony went perfectly, although it was very emotional. Gina and Shaun didn’t take their eyes off each other throughout the service, nor did they let go of each other’s hands, their fingers entwined throughout. They obviously gave each other a huge amount of strength as not once did they falter or their voices crack. I, on the other hand, cried copious tears, and as I looked around at the other guests in that church, I knew that I was not the only one.
As the service neared its end, Gina had her own surprise in store for me. She turned and beckoned me with her finger.
‘Do you want Paul to take some more photographs?’ I asked. She shook her head and beckoned to me again. As I stood the vicar said that he now wished for Gina and Shaun’s witnesses to come forward. Now I knew what she wanted. She hadn’t mentioned it but Gina had chosen me to be one of the witnesses while Shaun had chosen his long-term friend, Rich. I was truly, truly honoured!
After the ceremony had finished and hundreds of photographs had been taken, we headed back to the local pub for the reception and fun day. A lot had been arranged, from tombola stalls to raffles, a bucking bronco and a huge auction for which we had managed to get, among numerous other items, signed memorabilia from the Leicester Tigers rugby club, signed photographs of Italian motorcycle champ Valentino Rossi, as well as a studio day, where someone could be a presenter at Oak FM, our local radio, with all the proceeds going to charity. We raised over £12,000 on the day.
Gina made a speech and thanked everyone for being there, not just for that day but supporting them both since the devastating news about Shaun’s illness. Gina had sent a text around to friends and family a few days beforehand asking people to sum up Shaun in one word and she read some of these out. The same words came up time and time again: inspirational, strong, brave, a legend. Gina was obviously very emotional and I was so proud as I stood and listened to her words.
Next Shaun spoke, again thanking everyone for their support, thanking Gin
a for being his rock, and then, having had rather a lot to drink, he led the rugby lads into a rousing chorus of ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’. That was too much for me and Emma and we burst into tears. Gina came to join us and we stood huddled together as the rugby lads got louder and louder then, suddenly, Shaun stripped down to his boxer shorts for his turn on the bucking bronco, saying that his trousers were too slippy. Gina couldn’t stop giggling at his comical attempts to keep his balance and cling on for dear life.
Despite what Gina and Shaun were going through they spent the whole day joking and laughing. I really was in awe of their courage. They spent most of the afternoon and evening together, but whenever they got separated as they were circulating, you could see them looking around for one another. Ashton and Lewis remained glued to their mum and dad throughout – in fact, the only time that Gina intentionally let go of Shaun’s hand was to hug her boys.
As I watched them together, united as an invincible duo, I reflected that they didn’t need to renew their vows to show how much love they had for each other. That was obvious for all to see.
CHAPTER 5
BROKEN HEARTS
After that special day, Shaun’s treatment continued. Gina would always attend hospital appointments with him, and would sit with him as the chemotherapy was given through a drip in his hand. She spent hours online researching anything that might make Shaun feel better and was constantly making disgusting smoothies with things like broccoli and beetroot that she had read would be good for him. The smell alone turned my stomach, so goodness knows how they made Shaun feel when he was already nauseous as a side effect of the chemotherapy! But he always laughed about it and tried them, to make Gina happy, then tipped them down the sink as soon as she wasn’t looking!
