He needed help. He needed to find someone who could make sense out of the chaos his life had become. Mira was too vulnerable and precious for him to fuck over with his problems. As far as she stuck her neck out for him, one of these times she was going to lose her head.
Payton stood there silently, patiently. He didn’t move a muscle or blink a lash. There was no hint of reproach on his face, only the faintest lines of regret.
Clay swallowed, barely able to work up enough moisture to move his tongue. His choices were simple: continue on alone and wake up covered in blood again, or grab ahold of the lifeline Payton offered.
He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He knew he was completely capable of killing and not remembering it. The mission in Arizona a few months ago had taught him that.
What if he killed again? What if this time he hurt someone he cared about? What if he hurt Mira?
That couldn’t happen. He’d eat a bullet before he’d take that risk.
And yet he took that risk every day, never knowing when he’d lose another chunk of time and wake up bruised and broken, with no memory of what he’d done or where he’d been.
Today had to be his wakeup call. Mira was still alive and safe. That could all change so fast. She was like a sister to him—the only family he had—and he couldn’t gamble with her life.
Clay met Payton’s stare and told him the truth. “I don’t know.”
“How can you not know? Either you killed someone or you didn’t.”
“I don’t remember anything about last night. That’s how. I remember grabbing a burger at lunch yesterday. After that…nothing. Until this morning when I…” He couldn’t even say the words. If he did, they would make this whole bizarre nightmare real.
“What happened this morning?” asked Payton, his voice gentle but insistent.
Rather than reply, Clay fetched the trash bag and dumped it out on his kitchen floor. Bloody sheets and clothes tumbled out in a stiff clump. The meaty smell nearly gagged him.
“This happened,” said Clay.
A look of panic that mirrored Clay’s brushed over Payton’s aristocratic features. “Are you hurt?”
“Not enough to make this mess. It’s someone else’s blood.”
“Or something’s. It could be animal blood.”
Clay hadn’t even thought about that, and it brought him a sense of relief so heavy his knees buckled under the weight. He collapsed into a kitchen chair, dizzy and swaying. “You think?”
“It’s possible. I’ll have it tested.”
“I don’t want anyone else involved.”
“I understand. I’ll make sure the test is anonymous.”
Clay’s head was suddenly too heavy to hold up. He propped his elbows on the table and let it sag into his hands. “Things are all fucked up, Payton.”
“I know. I’ll help you sort it all out. But you’ve got to be completely honest with me. No more evasion. No more lies. Agreed?”
Clay hesitated. As much as he liked the man, he didn’t trust anyone as much as he’d need to if he was going to spill his guts about everything. Instead, he let out a nondescript grunt that could be taken as agreement.
“This has been happening for a while, hasn’t it?”
“The bloody clothes? Hell no. At least not like this.”
“No, I mean the lost time—the blackouts. This isn’t the first time you’ve lost your memory.”
Clay debated lying, but Payton didn’t seem too freaked out by the possibility, which gave him the boost to say what needed to be said. “It’s been going on for months now.”
“How often?”
“Not very, at first. These last few weeks…at least four times that I know of.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“There were a couple of times that I woke up and things weren’t where I thought I’d left them. Once I was wearing clothes, when I was sure I’d stripped down before going to bed.” He lifted his head and forced himself to confess. “I think I’m going insane.”
Payton’s mouth turned down and a haze of regret dulled his eyes. “You’re not. I won’t let that happen. I’m going to see you through this. If you do what I say, everything is going to be fine.”
“I don’t see how. Once Bella finds out, I’m going to lose my job.”
“Bella won’t find out. We’re going to fix this. I swear it.”
For a glittering, hopeful second, Clay believed him. He clutched on to that hope and held on tight. “How?”
“First, you need to give me your phone.”
“What?”
“Your cell phone. If I’m right, then it’s dangerous for you to carry one.”
Clay had no idea what to make of that, but he shoved his hand into his jeans and pulled out his phone. He set it on the table.
Payton stowed it in his pocket, his demeanor changing to one of all business. There was no more emotion showing through—just the get-it-done attitude that Clay had come to recognize. “I’m going to send you someplace safe. Isolated. I want you to take my car and go there right now.”
“Why?”
“I’ll explain everything once I’m sure, but for now, I need you to trust me.”
“Why send me away?”
Payton pulled a key from his ring and wrote an address on the back of his business card. “The farther you are away from here, the better. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Don’t speak to anyone along the way—not even a clerk at a gas station.”
“Payton, you’re freaking me out here. Why go to all the—”
“When you get there, unplug the phone. Don’t bring any electronics with you. No laptop, no games, no GPS. Nothing, understand?”
“No. I do not.”
He shoved the key and the card at Clay. “I need a couple of days to gather some information, but you shouldn’t be alone. I will send someone to stay with you.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“You do. If you don’t want to hurt someone else, you do. Trust me.”
“I don’t want anyone to know I’ve gone off the deep end. I have to work with these people.”
“It won’t be someone from the Edge. I’ll have your guardian show up at the back door at exactly six thirty-two. If anyone but me shows up at any other time…”
He trailed off as if debating his options, leaving Clay hanging.
“What? What crazy thing do you want me to do along with all this other cloak-and-dagger bullshit?”
“If anyone else shows up at any other time, kill them.”
Payton waited until Clay was behind the wheel and on his way before he left in the other man’s car.
First order of business: burn the evidence. He didn’t need to keep a sample to see if it was human blood or not. He knew it was. The things Clay would be used for had nothing to do with animal control.
The suggestion about it being animal blood had been a strategically timed diversion to keep Clay from breaking. The man was already on edge. There was no way to know how long he’d been suffering with his secrets. He’d said months, but chances were even Clay wouldn’t remember everything.
Payton was counting on it.
After a quick stop at one of the houses Payton kept set aside for extreme circumstances, the clothes and sheets were no more than a burning ball of ash. He watched the glowing embers while he made the call.
Dr. Leigh Vaughn answered on the sixth ring, leaving Payton biting his nails.
“This had better be good. I’m in the middle of something.”
“I’m sorry for the interruption, but it’s important.”
“It always is,” she said on a sigh. “What is it this time? Another secret gunshot wound I can’t report?”
“No. It’s a much bigger favor than that.”
“Spit it out. I don’t have all day. Patients are waiting.”
“Send them home.”
“What? No way. If your emergency is that serious, then take them to the hospital.”
> “If you do this, I’ll get you in to see Garrett.”
The line went silent for too long.
“Leigh? Are you there?”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I just…You’re not joking, are you? Because if you are, you should know that I’m really good with a scalpel, and you have to sleep sometime.”
“No jokes. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Okay,” she said. “Whatever you need. Name it.”
“Be sure. Because once I drag you into this mess, you’re in it for good. Understand?”
“I don’t care. If you can promise me a visit, then I don’t care.”
“Good.” Relief poured over Payton like cool rain. Until now he hadn’t been sure exactly how he was going to keep Clay safe while he took care of his mistakes.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Pack as fast as you can. Bring your medical supplies. And a gun. Make sure you pack a heavy sedative. Chances are you’re going to need it.”
Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars Page 36
