I went hard thinking about it. About her wearing it only for me. I swallowed hard. “I will leave you to that.”
She nodded, and I asked for nothing else. I walked back out through the double doors to give her privacy and to give myself a few moments to figure out my plan.
I waited as long as I could, until I couldn’t stay away any longer. I walked back through the doorway.
And then I saw the most beautiful sight in the world. She was standing there in the black silk, with her hair free and hanging down her back. She ran her teeth over her bottom lip in a way I knew was nerves rather than a flirtatious move. She had one hand wrapped over her body, but every other part of her was on display—including her long legs and cleavage that made me ache to see more.
I said nothing for a moment, unable to speak as I took her in.
Then I noticed the shivering.
“You’re cold?” I was hot. So hot I could barely stand it.
“No.” She shook her head.
“Then why are you shivering?”
“There are other reasons to shiver.” She blinked a few times as if trying to fight off tears.
Other reasons meant me. She was afraid of me.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” I tried to reassure her, to get rid of the worry in her stunning blue eyes.
“I don’t understand any of this. You might find that to be a good thing, but I don’t. I’m not so proud I won’t admit I’m afraid.”
“There’s no reason to be afraid. You’re safe with me.”
“Safety is in the eye of the beholder.” She tightened her arms around herself.
“Do you expect me to force myself on you?”
By the look in her eyes, she absolutely did.
“Didn’t you listen to what I told you? Nothing is forced here. We’re not the Reine.”
She shivered, and I hated it. I hated that she felt threatened by anything. “By not forced you mean you aren’t violent about it, but it’s still forced. What would happen if a girl refused to do what she’s here for? If she refused a man of the Circle, for example?”
“That hasn’t been an issue.”
“It hasn’t been an issue because the girls are all too afraid to make it an issue. They’re afraid of what would happen to them.” She bit down on her lip.
“And you’re afraid of that?” I stepped toward her.
“Of course. But I’m more afraid you won’t help me save my sister.”
“I promised you I would give you help. I am a man of my word.”
“Then let’s get this over with.” She watched me. “Do I take this off or do you?” She started to slip down a strap of the black satin.
“Neither of us will be doing that tonight.” I managed all of my resolve. “I already told you nothing is forced here.”
“This isn’t forced.” She met my eyes. “This is part of the deal.”
“Doing something out of desperation is tantamount to being forced.”
“That means all the girls are forced. Don’t treat me differently.” Her hands twisted into fists at her side. “I need help saving my sister.”
“When you are ready to willingly give yourself to me, we can talk about the details.”
“I am willing.” She slipped off the fabric, revealing her completely naked body to me.
I hardened, and my eyes took in the absolute beauty in front of me.
“I am upholding my side of the bargain. You uphold yours.” Tears streamed down her face.
“I am not going to have you when you’re crying.” I picked up her discarded nightie, and slipped it back onto her.
“I’ll stop crying.”
“It will not happen tonight.” I pointed to the bed. “Get in bed. I will join you when I’m ready.”
“You just told me nothing will happen tonight.”
“You will sleep in my bed. Beside me.” I cupped her chin and made her look at me. “You will let all in the club believe you are no-longer untouched. Is that understood?”
“Then why not just do it? Get it over with?”
“Do you understand the significance of my having Corded you?” I held onto her chin.
“Yes.” At least I thought I did.
“Good, then you should know the first time I have you will not be with you crying as if you are being raped. It will be because you want me to have you.”
“I’m never going to want that.” She gritted her teeth. “I am only doing this for my sister.”
“You are doing as was expected, so I will uphold my part of the bargain. But not tonight. We can discuss your sister in the morning. Get in bed. I will join you in a few minutes.” I turned my back and hurried into the bathroom to shower before I could change my mind.
There was something about Kayla that was so innocent, so precious. I wouldn’t steal from her. I wouldn’t take until she was ready to give.
Fourteen
Kayla
The bed next to me was empty when I awoke. I sat up, pulling the sheet around me, not wanting to notice just how soft it was. There were luxuries here I never could have dreamed of, but they didn’t matter. Nothing mattered other than getting to Quinn and Bailey.
Just because Mason wasn’t in bed didn’t mean I was alone. The sound of running water proved me right. I glanced around the floor for my clothes from the night before but didn’t see them. How was I going to leave without clothes? I couldn’t walk around in a tiny piece of silk.
I was confused. I still didn’t understand what had transpired the night before. Maybe Mona was right, and I needed to know more about being with a man. I’d thought it was simple. I offered myself, and he took. Yet he’d taken nothing. No liberties beyond looping his arm around me sometime during the night.
I waited in the bed, wondering how I could broach the subject of Quinn again. He’d refused to discuss it the night before, but it was morning now. I couldn’t wait any longer.
The water turned off, and moments later he walked into the room wearing a towel around his waist.
“Good morning.” He spoke formally and looked through me as though I wasn’t even there.
“Good morning.”
“You will spend the day in here. I’ll have clothes sent over for tonight.”
“All day? You can’t mean that.”
“Of course I do. Based on the response last night, I need to make sure the men understand just how off limits you are.” His eyes finally found mine.
“What about my sister? When can we discuss that?”
“Not yet.”
“But when?” I fisted the sheet in my hand. “You said we could discuss it today.”
He closed the distance between us, stopping right next to the bed. “I said not yet.”
“But—”
“Say ‘but’ one more time and you’ll regret it. You’re going to do as I say.” He grabbed my arm, shoving the evidence of the Cording in my face. “You belong to me now.”
I tried to reconcile this behavior with what he’d done the night before. He hadn’t touched me. He’d refused to even consider it.
“I will be back later.” He stormed through the double doors, slamming them behind him.
Wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to help anything. I needed to get out of bed and move on with the day, whether I was stuck in Mason’s room or not.
I stepped into a steaming hot shower. The water soothed my aches and pains and gave me time to think. I was growing more and more used to the hot water and amenities found here. That wasn’t a good thing. I wasn’t going to be enjoying them for long. After toweling off I walked into Mason’s closet to search for something to wear.
Settling on one of his dress shirts, I eagerly buttoned it up, glad to have some coverage. Satisfied with the temporary clothing, I looked for something to do.
I made the bed. At the time it seemed completely logical. I’d always made my bed as soon as I woke up. I meticulously double checked the hospital corners and smoothed down the blanket.
I went back into the bathroom and searched through the drawers, for something, anything. What I did find was a hamper containing a pile of dirty clothes, including my dress. I considered changing into it but changed my mind. The shirt provided much more coverage than that little bit of green fabric.
A knock on the door had me scurrying out of the bathroom. Was Mason back already? When he said to be ready, what had he meant?
“Kayla?” A soft voice called.
I pulled open the door. “Addison.”
She hugged me. She pulled me into her arms and hugged me in exactly the way I needed her too.
We clumsily moved back into the bedroom, still embracing.
“Are you okay?” She looked right into my eyes.
“Yes.” I knew better than to tell her what had happened. Whatever reason Mason had for not touching me, it wasn’t one he wanted shared.
“I brought you some clothes, your toothbrush, and some pills.”
“Pills?”
“For pain. I wasn’t sure—” She looked down.
I felt a jab of guilt. She brought pills worried I’d been hurt by Mason. Instead he hadn’t touched me. “Oh. Thanks.” I accepted the pile of clothes. “But you better leave before Mason gets back.”
“He told me to come. I wanted to, but I never would have come without permission. It could have made things worse.”
“For both of us.” But I was more worried for her. Worrying about others came much more easily to me than worrying about myself.
She nodded. “Exactly.”
“Is everything calm?” I wanted to leave his room. I would go crazy staring at the walls all the day. Ethan was right, this had all been a huge mistake. I would have been better off trying to save Quinn and Bailey myself.
“I think so. I’m sure some of the Circle are upset, but it was Mason’s right.”
“Are the girls okay with it?” It didn’t matter. I knew it didn’t, yet I found I cared.
“What choice do they have?”
I shrugged. “So some are mad?”
“It’s a mixed bag. On the one hand you won’t be another girl to help with the Circle, but you will take Mason off our hands.”
“You don’t think he’ll also take other girls?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It’s not like I wanted to spend every night with him, but somehow knowing he’d be comparing me to others made it worse.
“He won’t.” She fidgeted. “A personal Cording means he’s taking a girl for himself. That means he doesn’t need the rest of us. He’s already promised the rest of the Circle that. I think that appeased them enough.”
And then I remembered his words. He could only have one personal Cording. His decision was even more significant than I thought if he was limiting himself to only me.
“When do you think I’ll be able to go back to my room?” I wasn’t sure if Addison knew, but she had a lot more information than I had.
A funny expression crossed her face. “Mason didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” I wasn’t sure I was ready for any more surprises.
“You’re staying here. He’s having a whole bunch of clothes and stuff delivered for you later.”
“He mentioned sending over something, which you brought…” But I hadn’t thought that meant I was staying with him indefinitely. “I figured he’d just meet up with me at the lounge…”
“No. A personal Cording is different. You’re his. He gets to have you in his room always.”
“Perfect,” I mumbled.
The door burst open, and Mason stepped in.
Addison glanced at me. “I was just leaving.”
“Thank you for bringing Kayla some of her things,” Mason didn’t look at Addison. His eyes were fixed on me.
“You’re welcome.” She skirted out of the room, closing the door behind her.
“Nice wardrobe choice.” He stepped toward me, and instinctively I stepped back.
“That shirt looks much better on you.” He stepped toward me again, and I forced myself to stay in place. His eyes were heated, and without him saying anything I knew he was picturing what I looked like underneath.
I sent up a silent prayer that he didn’t want to find out yet. Maybe his mysterious reason for waiting would continue—that is as long as he’d help me still. He’d alluded to a willingness to do that the night before.
“I know Addison brought you some things. You’ll have any clothing you need by tonight. I’ll clear out plenty of space in the closet for you.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled even though I wasn’t feeling particularly grateful. I much preferred my room downstairs, or even better my room on the farm.
“I thought we’d stay in tonight.”
“Stay in?” I shivered. As much as I didn’t particularly want to go to the lounge or dinner, it was better than being alone in a room with him.
“Yes. I’ll have dinner brought in for us. We can also view a movie in my sitting room.”
“You have your own viewer?” He hadn’t mentioned that before.
“Yes. Do you enjoy movies?”
“I’ve never seen one. We didn’t have electricity at home.” I was talking too much. He didn’t want or need to know that.
“Really? What did you do for entertainment?”
“Entertainment? We didn’t have much time for that. We’d play cards sometimes, and I love reading.”
“Reading? What kind of books?” He sat down on the bed, gesturing for me to take a spot next to him. Why was he being so nice all of a sudden?
“All sorts.”
“No particular favorite?”
“Why do you care?” I just spit it out. I wasn’t one for games. I wanted his help, and that was it.
“Because I want to know about you.” His eyes settled on my face while he absently stroked my hand.
“Fairytales and other romantic stories with happy endings.”
“Really? I’d have thought you liked more action packed stories. You seem tough.”
I shrugged. “I liked the escape.”
“Liked?”
“I doubt I’ll ever get to my collection again.” There was nothing left for me there anyway.
“No, you probably won’t.” he looked away and dropped my hand. “I need to go out for awhile, but I’ll be back for dinner.”
“Have you thought about my sister? Are you ready to discuss that?” I pleaded with him.
“We will discuss it tonight.” He glanced back at me once before leaving again.
Fifteen
Mason
I paced the room.
I was unaccustomed to waiting. I’d run Sray for years, and since taking over waiting had become a thing of the past. Yet I was waiting, and I wasn’t happy about it.
“Sorry I’m late.” Ethan strolled into the room.
“Do you have a reason for the tardiness?” I studied his face. He was still bruised from my fist. I didn’t regret it. I couldn’t. It was my job to keep order at the club, and that meant keeping everyone in line. The second I faltered or showed weakness someone else would take over, and that wouldn’t be good for me or the club. Despite what some thought, I cared. I cared a hell of a lot more than most. I’d pulled us up from nothing and made us one of the most successful clubs in the city. I didn’t accomplish that by playing nice.
“Yes. I was finalizing a deal with the Layman Club.”
“Very well.” His excuse was valid. If we didn’t move whiskey, we didn’t get paid. Despite Ethan’s deficiencies, he was good at moving product. That didn’t mean I understood him. How any man could have walked away from Kayla confounded me.
“You wanted to see me?” Ethan hovered near the doorway. He stood tall, but his expression was wary.
“Yes.” I pointed to a chair by the wall. “Take a seat.”
Ethan nodded before sitting down. Evidently he was listening today.
I closed the door and waited a moment longer than necessary before jumping in with my questions. I
wanted him nervous so he’d answer my questions honestly. “I want to know everything about Kayla and her sister.”
“Everything?” Ethan raised an eyebrow.
“Everything. Leave no detail out.” I needed to understand her, and to do that I needed to know where she came from. What caused the fear behind her eyes? It wasn’t new. It wasn’t solely from me. And perhaps more importantly, what made her so desperate she’d shown up on my doorstep? Traveling from the Rurals was dangerous. Reckless. Was her devotion to her sister so strong she’d take the chance, or was there more going on than she was telling me? Something about the situation nagged at me. I didn’t understand it, and that made me nervous.
“I will tell you what I know, but I am sure you could get more if you asked her yourself.” Ethan’s shoulders slumped.
“I’m asking you to tell me.” I would ask her questions as well, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me everything. I needed to be prepared.
Ethan let out a slow deep breath. “I’ve known Kayla her whole life. Her sister too. We grew up on farms next door to each other.” Ethan appeared to be lost in memories. I couldn’t picture his childhood. It was so far removed from the one I knew. I knew nothing of neighbors—particularly not ones of the female variety. “Kayla had this spirit about her that was contagious. No matter how bad things got. No matter how little food we had, she was always smiling. She was convinced we could survive anything.”
I tried to reconcile the image of a smiling little girl with the Kayla I knew now. I wasn’t even sure she knew how to smile anymore. I wanted to see her smile. To see her eyes dance with pleasure instead of fear. “How did her father hide them? Two girls? That seems nearly impossible.” The Reine kept the traders busy searching everywhere for women. I found it hard to believe two girls had managed to stay under the radar that long, especially since they weren’t kept a complete secret.
“Their father was always very careful who was allowed to meet them. He kept them close to home.” Ethan seemed to consider his words. “And those of us who knew them, we felt protective. We’d have never told the traders because it would have meant two more girls taken away from us.”
Corded (The Corded Saga Book 1) Page 10
