by Ryanne Corey
Anna’s hands explored him, wanting to learn. She knew she could only learn to love by loving. All through her adult life she had thought that when she was ready for love, love would find her. And she had been right.
Zack went down to her in a hot, fluid movement, holding her face fiercely for an endless kiss. His body molded itself to hers, breast to breast, thigh to thigh. When he pulled back briefly, it was to stare at the beautiful creation of his desire. Her lovely, amazing eyes were dark blue with passion. Her mouth was parted and open, her hands holding tightly to his shoulders. Zack had no idea what he had ever done to merit her commitment to the moment. The intensity in her expression humbled him beyond words.
He stilled, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he lowered his head ever so slowly, kissing her forehead as one would kiss a child. The touch of his lips lingered on hers after the kiss was broken, brushing back and forth across her satin mouth. He learned the curves, the fullness, the shape and texture. His tongue lightly traced those sweet, perfect curves with tantalizing lightness. He was memorizing them, though he knew they would stay with him always, lingering in his memory like a brand on his soul. Their breath mingled into one body, one heart.
“Now?” Anna asked softly, the little word taking his world by storm.
Zack finally understood what it was to love with love. The completeness a certain woman, the right woman, brought to a man was almost more than he could grasp. Love and sex had always been two different things for him, one seemingly forever out of reach and the other so easy to attain he had doubted its value.
Oh, but loving with his heart as well as his body was a revelation. It was a tender warmth that curled in his loins and stretched into his mind and soul with pervasive gentleness. Zack realized with a strange shock that tonight was his first time, as well.
Anna loved the intensity in his eyes. It was amazing to her, the things he seemed to see in her. She had wondered what it would be like to love him almost from the first moment they met, but the reality was something else altogether. Her eyes drifted half-closed when his hands spanned her waist, her chin raising and pressing her head back in the pillow. She knew all she needed to know now, knew that this was as important to her as it was to him. This was the final wall that had stood between them, her fear of allowing a man to become necessary to her. Somehow, without Zack saying a word, she knew that she was safe with him.
Nature had ways of bringing a man and a woman together, and Anna instinctively knew her part. Her hips made a cradle for his, her shoulders straining up and off the mattress. Her nails were pressing into the skin of his back like tiny kitten claws. There was pain and there was pleasure, and there were needy hollows aching to be filled to overflowing. She was racked with hard shivers, cool goose bumps spreading over her warm flesh. For Anna, the only sounds in the room were Zack’s hard breathing and her own heart thundering in her ears.
She lifted her hips in mute invitation, at the same time twisting languorously against the tumbled sheets. He nudged her legs farther apart, kissing her almost roughly. What little control he had before was now gone completely. A long strand of soft, tawny hair got tangled up between their lips and he flicked it aside impatiently. She gave back his kisses with equal urgency. But kisses would no longer suffice, and they both knew it.
Gasping, Zack held back the hair at the sides of her face with white-knuckled hands. His gaze locked hard with hers. Her legs widened, parting for him. When he hesitated, she lifted herself toward him, so hungry she felt she was going quietly out of her mind. There had to be something, a cure for her need. His head dropped back, lolling on his neck while he forcibly restrained himself. He released control in cautious measure, initiating her gradually until she was hot and fluid and lissome with readiness. He shook, and his breathing grew loud and ragged. There was no more control to be found.
His possession was slow and sacred, an endearment in itself. Her hands were tight around him, absorbing the barely leashed power in his straining muscles while she drew him in deeper. Zack passed on wonderful knowledge with the sinuous motions of his hips, muscles bunching in his arms on either side of her writhing body. And still, there were no words: they communicated through gasps and murmurs and heavy-eyed looks of need. Anna learned how much patience Zack was capable of, and Zack discovered that a woman’s innocence was a fierce and overwhelming aphrodisiac.
There came a moment when their bodies strained and paused in the silent euphoria, both wanting to prolong the anticipation of release as long as humanly possible. Still, nothing could last forever, no matter how hard they wanted to hold on to it. Zack groaned and began moving again, matching her instinctive movements thrust for thrust, sword to sheath. They climbed higher, which neither of them had thought possible. Anna was fascinated, then quickly frantic. She felt the cool tracks of tears on her cheeks while her body wept with another sort of release. It was a union of bodies and minds, a beautiful poem and an endless mystery. And with all her imagining, she had never imagined anything as hallowed and renewing as this.
Moved deeply, Anna discovered that once was not enough for a twenty-six-year-old woman who had waited a lifetime for love. Finally she was where she belonged. And in turn, she showed Zack that twice was easily possible for a man, as well…given a bit of incentive from a novice with tremendous aptitude.
Then came another revelation. Afterward, the sweet, seeping pleasure gathered and pooled in the heavy shadows of the bedroom. Spent, exhausted and floating, they lay weakly in each other’s arms while the world waited for them to return. Anna thought the moment was a miracle in itself, a little stretch of time while their bodies tangled together and rested. Her eyes were enormous, staring up at the ceiling in mute wonderment.
So this was heaven, the place beyond the little death of making love.
Afterward, she was hungry.
It was a swift drop back to earth from heaven, but one had to fortify one’s strength. And so, at five in the morning, they ate cereal and toast and chocolate malts.
“Ice cream,” Zack commented. “Why am I not surprised?”
“You did a fair bit of surprising me a couple of hours ago,” Anna said, forking egg off her plate. “I thought I’d taxed you to the limit, but you’re a very…quick healer.”
“Healer?” He smiled, his pillow-mussed hair tangled above his heavy-lidded eyes like a young boy’s. He was wearing only his jeans; she, only his wrinkled denim shirt. “No one has ever called me a quick healer before.” As soon as he’d said the words, he could have slapped himself. Why on earth had he referred to other sexual experiences? “Anna, I didn’t mean—”
“Relax, Mr. Romantic Policeman,” Anna said softly, amusement lighting her eyes. “I know what you meant. Whoever and whatever made you the man you are right now, I’m grateful to. And I know you would never be crass or thoughtless…particularly after the last few hours.”
Zack cleared his throat, embarrassed. “Please. My sensibilities.”
She left her chair and went to him, cradling him in her arms and rubbing her smile at the base of his throat. She had been away from him for far too long. Her lips trailed along the smooth skin of his shoulder, scattering kisses. His spoon clattered to the floor.
“Shhh,” Anna cautioned, still smiling against his skin. “You’ll wake Carrie.”
“Oh, now you worry about waking Carrie,” Zack muttered, feeling his heartbeat kick into second gear. “If you will remember, just a little while ago I had to put my hand over your mouth because—”
Anna put an end to the lecture by attacking him. There was no other word for it; it was a frontal attack with all the ammunition she had. She couldn’t help herself. Life was far more wonderful than she could have ever dreamed; making love was wonderful; Zack was wonderful. And at that moment it seemed like nothing could ever go wrong, not when it came to Zack and Anna and the magic they made together.
Their ice cream melted into syrup. But it was sacrificed for a good cause.
Ei
ght
When Zack opened his eyes much later that morning, Anna was gone. There was, however, a note left in red lipstick on her mirror.
“Good morning. Come and find me.”
It wasn’t going to be difficult to find her, since Zack could hear pots and pans clanging downstairs in the kitchen. He looked past the lipstick note at his own reflection and winced. He was not very pretty this morning, and to top things off, he had a hickey on his neck. Oh, if the boys at the precinct could see him now.
And speaking of his buddies in Los Angeles, Zack realized he hadn’t called in once since he had left California. Captain Todd was going to keep him filled in on Pappy’s progress, not to mention keeping him up-to-date on the progress tracking down the shooter. Feeling a little guilty about forgetting his life in L.A., Zack used the phone on the nightstand and called the captain’s extension at the precinct. When Todd answered, he sounded every bit as irritable as the last time Zack had talked to him. Some things never changed.
“What?” Todd barked. Whether he was talking to the governor or to one of the baby-faced police cadets, his tone was always the same. Cranky.
Zack grinned, feeling much more patient with the old guy now that Anna was in his life. “Captain, you sound bright and cheerful as always. You are the sunshine in my life. What’s up?”
“Daniels? Daniels, is that you? I told you to call in every day. Where the hell did you disappear to?”
“Hey, you told me to disappear. Uh…sir.” Then, a horrible thought occurred. “Why? Have you been trying to find me? Is Pappy all right? He was doing okay when I left—”
“Pappy’s on the mend. He even came into work for a couple of hours this morning, against doctor’s orders, I might add. He’s a stickler for duty. It’s scary how much alike you two are. So where are you?”
Zack decided to evade the question. “I’m lost, far, far away from Los Angeles. And what’s more, I like being lost.”
“Well, don’t get too attached to your freedom,” Todd told him brusquely. “We caught the punk who shot Pappy yesterday. Now I don’t need to worry about you playing the Lone Ranger and getting yourself in hot water. So say goodbye to your vacation, pack your bags and get back here.”
For an instant Zack couldn’t move. Get back here. He hadn’t expected to hear that. Not this soon. His heart stopped.
“Did you hear me?” Todd shouted.
Zack winced, holding the phone away from his ear. “You don’t need to yell. I can hear you.”
“What’s with you? I just gave you a reprieve from your exile. You can come home, Daniels. I’ll put you back to work the minute you get here. That should make you happy.”
Zack didn’t feel happy. He felt sick.
“I can’t leave,” he said haltingly. “Not yet. Not…this soon.”
There was a stunned silence on the other end of the line. “Is this Zack Daniels?” the captain boomed incredulously. “My very own pain in the—”
“Yes,” Zack snapped, raking his hand impatiently through his hair. “This is Zack Daniels, and I haven’t had a vacation for four years, captain. Don’t you think it’s about time you gave me a break?”
“Are you on some kind of medication? Do you have a fever?”
“I’m fine! I’m just not ready to strap on my gun again. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal,” Todd said, in the tone of one speaking to the mentally impaired, “is that you are a cop and you need to come home and do cop things. It’s what the good people of California pay you for.”
Silence. Zack wondered if the captain could hear him grinding his teeth. Finally he decided to end the conversation before Todd called those nice young men in the clean white coats to come and take him to a mental hospital. “Captain, just cut me a little slack here, okay? I don’t want to explain, and I don’t want to come home.”
“What? Ever?”
“Well, of course not ever. I’ll come home, just not until…” he paused, closing his eyes tiredly. What could he say? He’d be back when he damn well felt like it? “Look, is there something in particular you need me for? If not, if it’s business as usual down there, I’d appreciate some more time.”
“Good grief,” Todd said blankly. “I need to put out a missing person report. You can’t possibly be Zack Daniels.”
“Funny. I’ll be back soon. I know I have responsibilities and I’ll take care of them. I just need a few more days. Maybe another…another week or so.”
“Hang on one minute,” Todd said. “I have to look out the window and check if hell has frozen over.”
One of Zack’s strengths, or at least, something that had always been very convenient for him, was his ability to remain isolated. He could enjoy people, places and things, without actually letting them affect his emotions. This made not only his job easier but his personal life, as well. Be it an apartment, a relationship, whatever; he never had any trouble moving on to something new. As long as he had his job to provide his very own reason to live, he was content with his lot in life, whatever that lot might be. Rarely did his emotions give him cause for grief. Granted, had he lost Pappy, he would have hurt and hurt badly, but every cop knew the score when it came to the likelihood of living long enough to collect a full retirement. It was an iffy proposition. Besides, you certainly didn’t become a cop for the money or benefits. You became a cop because anything else would have left you aching for fulfillment.
But right now Zack didn’t want to be a cop. He wanted to be an architect, a stockbroker, contractor, something that would leave him sixteen hours out of every day to be with Anna in a seaside town called Grayland Beach. Unfortunately, he knew himself fairly well. He would miss the cop thing. He would miss the excitement. He would miss the feeling that he was truly making a difference in the world. It was something he was compelled to do, something that he knew he was good at. When it came to his job, he knew he was right where he was destined to be.
Long ago Zack had decided that there were many things in life worth dying for. Up until now, he had never given much thought to the things in life that were worth living for. Things had changed. Fate had taken a hand when he’d been locked in a basement with a tawny-haired, blue-eyed girl who was definitely worth living for. This called for him to develop a brand-new value system. Captain Todd, challenges, dancing on a tightrope between safety and danger…all those things had slipped way down on his priority scale. And though he would never admit it to anyone, Zack Daniels was scared. Having something to lose was a revelation. Having something to lose raised the stakes dramatically.
Being a cop was a great adventure, but not the ultimate adventure as he had always thought. Falling in love was. Discovering this bit of wisdom, however, didn’t bring him much clarity. He needed Anna, he needed his work and he needed oxygen. In that order.
Quite simply, he had never been so confused in his entire life.
Anna was cooking.
She looked very good when she was cooking, Zack thought. She wore a silky blue wraparound kimono the same vivid color as her eyes. Her feet were looking festive in a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers sporting pink pom-poms on the heels.
“Hey, you,” he called softly from the doorway.
She turned, her face breaking into a dazzling smile. Her long, long hair turned with her, swirling, sparkling, catching every beam of sunlight in the room. She was washed in light, he thought. So pretty. Her fresh, clean skin was luminous, shining from within. She wore not a speck of makeup and needed not a speck.
“Hey you, yourself,” she said. She was wearing an oven mitt on her right hand, and waved it happily at him. “Long time no see. Almost thirty whole minutes.”
Then Zack noticed something else that sparkled. Anna’s eyes were shimmering with a veil of tears, which killed the sweet romance of the entire picture. His heart leaped into his throat, his mind was a cacophony of alarm bells. He flew across the kitchen, seizing her shoulders in his hands. “Anna? You’re crying? You’re crying. What’s w
rong?”
“No, I’m fine,” she told him, earnest and touched by his intense reaction. “Zack, don’t look so panicked. There are other reasons to cry besides being sad.”
“Like what?” Zack asked, still off balance. “Pain? Pain! Are you in pain?”
“I’m…not…in…pain,” she told him, carefully enunciating every word. Then she smiled, her fingers doing an eensy-weensy finger crawl up the placket of his white chambray shirt. “Here’s something else you don’t know about me. I don’t cry much when I’m sad, but the tears come pretty freely when I’m happy. I know, I’m weird. Weird and happy.”
“Then…” Zack struggled to understand, taking her in his arms and hugging her fiercely. “I’m to blame? But it’s an okay thing, because they’re happy tears?”
“Entirely,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. “You’ve sent my endorphins on a wonderful ride, Mr. Romantic Policeman. I was making you my famous sour cream breakfast cake, and voilà! The tears just started to flow. Be grateful you didn’t come in here five minutes ago when I was giggling, too. You would have really thought I was nuts.”
“You are a little strange.” Zack sighed, patting her absently on the back. “But that’s okay. If you’re crying because you’re happy, I won’t have to kill anyone on your behalf.”
She pulled back, staring at him curiously. “Would you do that?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “If someone was a threat to you, yes.”
“Oh, my.” Anna looped her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his chin. “I’ll have to be careful with you, won’t I?”
