by Rye Hart
“Language,” Mom said automatically, a warning in her voice.
“Sorry.” I sighed and continued. “One second, things are great. We’re totally connected, and everything feels like it used to. Then, she pulls away and won’t tell me why. I’ve asked her what’s going on, but she says it’s stress. I tried to believe her, but it’s bullshit. I know there’s more.”
“Do you think it’s Darren?” Mom asked. “I know he’s talked to her about you.”
“Darren says a lot of shit,” I said. “I ignore it, but I’m not sure it’s that easy for Tara. He is her father, and she cares what he thinks.”
“And you don’t?”
“No,” I said with a shrug. “Why should I? The man sent me to military school just to keep me away from Tara.”
“That wasn’t just Darren’s decision,” Mom reminded me. “You weren’t exactly headed down a great path back then, Caleb. We had to do something.”
“And if I hadn’t been seeing Tara?” I asked. “Would you still have chosen military school?”
Mom hesitated. Her eyes slid down to the table and then slowly moved back up to meet my gaze. I knew the answer before she gave it.
“No,” she said. “Honestly, no. I wouldn’t have.”
“Exactly.”
“That was ten years ago,” Mom said quickly. “Darren and I were scared for you and for Tara. We wanted to do what was best for everyone. Was it a mistake? Maybe. But it helped you straighten out. I mean, look at you now! You’re an entirely different person than you were back then.”
She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, military school worked. I straightened up. I fixed my life. Despite all that, the memory still stung.
“I think Tara’s afraid Darren will try something just as drastic this time,” I said. “She mentioned him before. She said she wasn’t sure she could be with me because of him.”
Mom sighed. “I’ve tried to make him see sense.”
“And?” I asked.
“Darren’s very set in his ways,” she said. “There’s not much I can say to change his mind.”
“What about you?” I asked. “What do you think about Tara and me?”
Mom’s eyes locked on mine. I could see the wheels turning in her head. She wasn’t the type to hold back her opinions, so I knew she would tell me the truth.
“My feelings are complicated,” she said. “I want you to be happy, Caleb. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I also want Tara to be happy. I know the two of you aren’t brother and sister. God knows I would never ask you to think of her that way. But I feel like she’s still my daughter. I didn’t give birth to her. I didn’t even meet her until she was sixteen, but I love her like my own.”
“So?” I asked, leaning forward. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” she said, sighing deeply, “if you both want to be together, then who am I to stand in the way? I love you, and I love Tara. If being together makes you happy, then I say go for it.”
I smiled and took a big bite of my donut. It was nice to finally hear my mother take my side over Darren’s. I could tell it was hard for her, but she did it. She truly didn’t care if Tara and I were together, so long as we both found happiness.
“I still don’t know what to do,” I said, shaking my head. “Tara has been so hot and cold lately. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth it.”
“Do you love her?” Mom asked.
I jerked my head around at her question. It was a simple question, but my answer was anything but. I did love Tara. That much I knew. But my feelings were complicated. I didn’t know if the love I felt for her was current or a shadow of our past together; a memory that was better left alone.
“Yes,” I finally said. “I do love her, but what if that isn’t enough? What if we’re trying to hold on to something we felt ten years ago?”
“Is that what you think?” Mom asked.
“No,” I said honestly. “I think we could be amazing together. But she needs to think so too. If she doesn’t want this, I can’t force it on her.”
“You’re right,” Mom said. “You can’t force her to be with you, but you can fight for her.”
“How?” I asked.
“Make her tell you what’s wrong,” Mom said. “Push until she has no choice. Don’t let her hide away until it’s too late to make things work between you.”
“What if that just pushes her away even more?” I asked.
“It might,” Mom said, shrugging. “But you won’t know until you try.”
I nodded and fell silent. She was right. I couldn’t let Tara push me away without a fight. I had to at least try to make our relationship work.
There were times, when Tara and I were together, that I knew she loved me. I could feel it in the way she touched me. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. It was written in our kisses. She loved me, and I loved her. I wasn’t sure if that would be enough, but I knew she was worth finding out.
Whether Tara was hiding because of Darren or something else, I had to find out. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t.
“Listen,” Mom said softly. She leaned forward to take my hand. “I’ve seen you and Tara together. I was there when you met her, and I watched you fall in love with her. It was dramatic and intense back then. But you’re an adult now. The two of you can make your own decisions. And honey, I can see how much you love her. It’s written all over your face.”
I smiled, and she squeezed my hand gently.
“Love like that,” she said. “It doesn’t just disappear. But it can fade if you stop fighting for it. If you let her shy away from things, or if you let her run, you’ll never know what could have been. You’ll spend your entire life regretting the fact that you didn’t try. I know you, Caleb. You would never forgive yourself if you let Tara slip through your fingers.”
“I’ll talk to her,” I said firmly. “We’ll figure this out.”
“Good.” Mom smiled. “Don’t tell Darren this, but I’ve always secretly rooted for you two. Tara makes you different. She changes you for the better, and I’ve seen you bring her out of her shell. She was such a shy girl when we first met her, but you changed that. You’re good for each other.”
I hoped she was right. We finished our breakfast and Mom said goodbye. She had patients waiting for her at the hospital, and I had a busy day of doing nothing. I still couldn’t drive or walk very far without my crutches. The only thing I could do was think.
I thought about Tara endlessly, replaying my mother’s words in my head. After all these years, she had finally told me the truth. Despite how much Darren hated it, my mom always wanted Tara and me to be together. That, more than anything, drove me forward. It fueled my determination to make things work.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - TARA
“Hey you,” Caleb said. He grinned as I walked inside.
“Ready for PT?” I asked.
“I thought maybe we could just do it here,” Caleb said, that grin still in place. “If you’re up for it.”
“I don’t have anything with me,” I said slowly. “We don’t have the bars or weights or anything.”
“It’s just one session,” Caleb said quickly. “What could it hurt?”
“A lot,” I said firmly. “Even missing one session could set you back in your recovery. I know how eager you are to get back to work.”
“All right, all right,” Caleb said. He sighed and raised his hands in defeat. “I’ll get my shoes.”
He walked slowly into his bedroom, using the wall for support. His crutches were leaning against the front door. I rolled my eyes when I saw them. He wasn’t supposed to walk without them, not even a few steps. At PT, it was different. I was there to make sure nothing went wrong but here? At his apartment? It was a huge risk.
“You need to use those,” I said when he returned, pointing toward the door. “Your crutches.”
“I’m doing fucking amazing without them,” Caleb said. He laughed lightly. “Wa
tch this.”
He let go of the wall and slowly made his way toward me. It was only about three normal steps, but for him, it took about ten.
“It’s your funeral,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Always the pessimist.” He grabbed his crutches and shoved them under his arms. “Can’t you just be positive? Just one time?”
“I’m positive during every single PT session,” I argued.
“Oh yeah,” Caleb said. “You’re a freaking ray of sunshine.”
“Whatever.”
He grinned as we slipped through the front door and headed to my car. Caleb had called me the night before to ask for a ride to PT. I was happy to do it, but I was always nervous. Things between us had been so strained lately. I didn’t know how awkward the car ride would be.
After his playful banter at the apartment, though, everything felt normal. We laughed and talked the entire way to the hospital. He teased me, and I poked fun at him. We flirted, and he even pulled me in for a kiss at every red light. By the time we pulled up to the PT building, my mood had drastically improved.
“Let’s get you started on some weights today,” I said. “You think you’re strong enough to walk around without crutches? Prove it.”
“Bring it on, baby.” Caleb grinned and followed me toward the weight bench.
I loaded it up with two-and-a-half-pound weights while he positioned himself. When he saw the size of the weights, he snorted and rolled his eyes. I just shrugged and motioned for him to try. He tucked his foot beneath the foam cushion and slowly began to lift. His face immediately contorted as pain shot through his leg. The bar barely lifted before he dropped his foot, breathing heavy.
“What the fuck?” he growled and his face flushed with rage.
“Hey,” I said softly. “Relax. This isn’t supposed to be easy.”
“I feel so damn weak,” he said.
“You’re not.”
“It’s two pounds!” he yelled.
“And next week, it’ll be five,” I said. “Then, ten. Then, fifty. You’ll get back to your old self again, okay? It just takes time.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Okay.” He said it, but I wasn’t sure that he believed it.
“And you said I was never positive.” I snorted.
He smiled weakly and let out a half-laugh. It was progress.
I tried to keep his mood light as he tried the weights a few more times. After that, we did a couple laps on the bars and then, he was done.
Our PT sessions had become harder each week. I knew Caleb was really starting to feel the resistance. He was almost finished, which was when most patients wanted to give up. I knew Caleb too well to think he’d ever go down that path. He’d rip himself apart before he would walk away from a challenge.
As I watched him towel off his face, I couldn’t help but feel a burning desire in the pit of my stomach. My legs felt weak as he leaned back in the chair, his eyes closed and his face flush from the workout. I trailed my eyes down his chest to his legs. The scar on his injured leg was still visible, and I longed to run my finger over it.
My heart was racing, and I felt sweaty by the time he opened his eyes. We looked at each other, and I knew he was reading my mind. His eyes trailed down to my breasts and stayed there for a second. When he looked back at my face, I was hotter than ever.
“Maybe we should get out of here,” I said softly.
“My place?” he asked, already getting to his feet.
I nodded and led the way outside.
***
Caleb kept his hand on my thigh the entire drive back to his place. I was trembling with desire. He trailed his fingers up my leg to my hip. I was wearing jeans so I could barely feel his touch but it was enough. My body was alive with energy. I wanted him more than I ever had.
When we got back to his place, we didn’t waste any time talking. We flew through the front door and moved straight to his bedroom. Our minds were focused on one thing and one thing only.
“Come here,” Caleb said, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me against him.
His lips were hard against mine. They moved with an urgency that sent a pool of desire flooding into my panties. I moaned against his mouth, opening my own to take in this tongue.
When our tongues met, I shook uncontrollably and pulled him closer. My hands were in his hair, on his back, sliding down to his ass. They were everywhere. I couldn’t get enough of his hard, muscular body.
When he pushed me backward on the bed, I bounced slightly, and he grinned at the sight. His eyes were dark with a desperate hunger. He moved forward like a predator stalking its prey and ripped my jeans from my body. He pulled my panties down and dove between my legs.
“Holy shit,” I moaned and gripped the bedsheets with both hands.
Caleb’s tongue was on my clit in an instant, moving so fast I barely knew what was happening. I felt waves of pleasure washing through me. My legs wrapped themselves around Caleb’s head as he moaned against my pussy. His tongue slid down, slipping inside my wet folds, then darting back up to my clit.
“Fuck,” I said breathlessly. “Caleb.”
His tongue moved faster, and soon, I was screaming out his name and writhing against the bed.
“Caleb! Oh fuck! Yes!”
My orgasm came fast and hard, rushing through me like an intoxicating shot of adrenaline.
He lifted his head up and grinned, already sliding up my body to reclaim my lips. This kiss was harder than the last. His tongue slid forcefully into my mouth, and I tasted my juices on his lips. I moaned and kissed him back, wrapping my legs around him.
He stood up to strip his clothes off. I watched him move, staring at his body with an animalistic interest. When his rock-hard cock sprung free from his boxers, I moaned and silently begged him to take me. My legs spread for him but he just shook his head and pulled me up.
He stood in front of me and lifted my shirt over my head. I took off my bra and looked at him expectantly. He leaned down to kiss me again. When he pulled away, his cock was right there, ready to take the place of his lips.
“Is this what you want?” I asked softly, flicking my tongue over his tip.
He growled and tangled his fingers in my hair while I took him all the way down my throat. He was huge but I didn’t mind. The taste of his precum was enough to drive me forward. I swirled my tongue around his cock while he pumped his hips against my face. I moaned and hummed, making him grunt and shake with pleasure.
“Fuck,” he said. “Fuck, I’m gonna come.”
He wrenched himself away from me, pushing me backward on the bed. He crawled on top of me and grabbed my legs, lifting them over his shoulders. While he held onto my legs, he thrust his hips forward and buried his cock deep inside me.
I was soaking wet and more than ready for him. I cried out with pleasure and reached above my head to grip the bedsheets again. He watched my body shake beneath him, his eyes wide and full of need.
When I screamed out his name, he moved even faster inside me. I lifted my hands up to run my fingernails down his chest. I left red marks where I touched him, and the sight excited me even more.
I lifted my ass to meet his thrusts, pushing him even deeper. He grunted and growled, his balls slapping against me while he took me with vigor. Before I could catch my breath, my second orgasm was building.
Caleb was relentless as he brought me closer to the edge. I came again, clawing at the bedsheets and screaming out his name.
“God damn, Tara,” he grunted. “You look fucking incredible.”
His eyes trailed over my writhing body while he exploded inside of me. He collapsed against me, our bodies fused together with sweat and lust.
It took a few minutes for us to pry ourselves apart. When we did, my temples began to throb. Just like that, reality set in. Caleb disappeared. My love and lust for him were swallowed by the pain. The only thing that existed was my headache and the true meaning behind it.
Caleb held me against
him chest and my headache worsened. I tried to convince myself to stay the night, but the pain was too much. I made up an excuse and left in a hurry, desperate to reach my own bed.
CHAPTER NINETEEN - CALEB
I was too exhausted to analyze Tara’s behavior. We had incredible sex. We were instantly connected to each other. Then, she left. She mumbled something about having to wake up early, but I could barely hear her. She threw on her clothes, kissed my lips, and then flew through the door without another word. I tried to get out of bed to follow her, but my leg wouldn’t let me move fast enough, and eventually, the exhaustion overwhelmed me.
After having sex, though, I knew my feelings for Tara were real. I’d been scared and questioning everything ever since I talked with my mother. I knew I wanted to make things work with Tara, but I wasn’t sure how to do that. When our bodies collided, I knew she was the only one for me. It wasn’t just about sex, it was about how much I needed her. No one had ever made me feel the way Tara did. She could overwhelm me, infuriate me, and comfort me all at the same time. Her mere presence was enough to make me feel at home.
I couldn’t let her go.
And yet, I did. I let her walk out the door without an explanation.
When I woke up the next morning, I hated myself for succumbing to sleep instead of calling her. I grabbed my phone off my nightstand and scrolled down to her contact.
I typed a quick text message. “Did you make it home okay?” I pressed send and stared at the screen until her response came through.
“Yeah. All good. Just woke up.”
I replied. “Me too. You wore me out.”
I stared at the screen, but nothing more came through. Frowning, I pushed myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. I showered and brushed my teeth, taking my time to ensure I would have a response from Tara when I was done.
Even after twenty minutes in the bathroom, the text message screen remained the same. Tara never answered. I was worried about her. She didn’t seem upset when she left last night. If anything, he just seemed sick. It was like she suddenly didn’t feel well and had to leave.
