by K. A. Linde
“What kind of point were you making?” Bekah asked getting riled up.
Lexi pushed her hair behind her ears before continuing. “I wasn’t making a point about your relationship. You wanted to know about the type of relationship I had with Jack. So, I was telling you. It was one full of lies.”
“Lies?” Bekah’s blue eyes were glimmering with wonder. Lexi was pretty certain that her interviews with Danielle and Kate had been exceedingly dull compared to the dirt Lexi was sending her way. Then again, Danielle and Kate had had perfectly normal...ish...relationships with Jack. They had flirted, dated, and broken up like normal couples. They had had normal emotional responses to situations, and had gone through relatively normal cycles of development. Nothing about Jack and Lexi had ever been normal.
“He lied to me about Danielle. Then, swore he would never lie to me again. And to this day, I don’t think he has,” Lexi said wistfully.
“But I thought you said your relationship was full of lies.”
This time Lexi did look Bekah directly into her naively, innocent eyes to answer her, “It was. We just lied to everyone else.”
Lexi was pretty sure that after that last statement, she would never meet the personable Bekah again. The two stared stonily at each other for a few moments before breaking eye contact and uneasily sipping on their beverages.
Finally, Bekah broke the silence. “So, what happened next?”
“Uh…when?” Lexi asked surprised that the girl was even still talking to her. She certainly wouldn’t be happy with someone if she had just heard that.
“After he lied to you about Danielle.”
“I refused to talk to him again for awhile…almost a year. But after he broke up with Danielle, he came looking for me, hoping that I would forgive him. And I didn’t at first.”
Bekah nodded. “He’d lied to you. That must have been hard. He’s never done that to me.”
Lexi blushed not really wanting to correct her. She had been in town less than a day and already Jack had lied to Bekah because of her. Wow, things weren’t that different. “It’s just this time around I had a boyfriend. When I told Jack about him, he didn’t care. He pretty much persuaded me to come to his house and seduced me.” Lexi heard the faint gasp that escaped Bekah’s mouth, but she continued on. “I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after that. Mostly out of guilt.”
“But you said you and Jack weren’t together?” Bekah asked her stony gaze still not wavering. Lexi could tell she was getting more and more reserved and withdrawn. She wasn’t sure how much she should actually reveal, and Bekah looked to be having the same idea.
“No. We weren’t. I just couldn’t talk to him after that. I had really strong feelings for Jack, and they scared me. Made me do things that I normally wouldn’t. Made me act in ways that I…I couldn’t control.” Lexi glanced up at Bekah to see her nodding along.
“I know what you mean,” Bekah whispered.
Lexi hardly believed her. Bekah was another Danielle…another Kate. Everything they had was normal and expected. There was no way that she could have even a semblance of understanding as to what she had gone through. “The lying really got to me. I was terrible at it. Jack wasn’t.” Lexi knew she was reminding her about the lying just to be cruel. She wanted Bekah to ask Jack questions about it. She wanted to make her uncomfortable. She just couldn’t stand the idea of sharing a feeling with this girl. It felt wrong. “He didn’t understand why I wasn’t okay with lying to my boyfriend, when he thought we were so perfect for each other. When he thought that there would never be another girl as amazing as me,” Lexi added spitefully.
Bekah’s blue eyes met Lexi’s, and the understanding that had been there only seconds before was replaced by the deep loathing Lexi had seen the last time lying had been brought up.
“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite girls,” Jack said coming up to them seemingly out of nowhere. It was obvious in his absence that things hadn’t gone well. The tension in the atmosphere could be cut with a dull butter knife. Bekah looked pissed and Lexi would rather be anywhere else right then. She always had a strange effect on people, but Jack hadn’t considered what kind of toll that would take on Bekah.
Bekah glared up at him as the last words left his tongue. Lexi just smiled weakly, not entirely sure how to take that statement.
“Uh…I brought your suitcase,” he told Lexi offhandedly, attempting to make conversation. “I thought we could just go to Bekah’s before the party tonight, and you could change there. Her place is right around the corner.”
Lexi arched one eyebrow in disbelief. He actually believed that she was going to go to this party? After the disastrous conversation with Bekah and the embarrassing confrontation with Ramsey, there was no way she ever wanted to hang out with these two again. “Oh, well I’m not going.”
Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Bekah got there first. “What do you mean you’re not going? You already said that you would go.”
“No, I never actually said that. Everything was just kind of decided for me,” she reminded them. The events of that afternoon had transpired so quickly that Lexi hadn’t even had time to decline the party invitation.
“But Ramsey assumes you’ll be there,” Bekah told her.
Lexi wasn’t sure why Bekah was trying to get her to go to this thing. She obviously didn’t like her, and that was just fine with Lexi. All Lexi really wanted right then was an extra-large New York-style pizza, sweatpants, and endless hours of super sappy chick flicks. “Well, he’ll just have to get over it. I can’t make it.”
“What do you have to do?” Jack asked.
“Family stuff.”
“Aren’t you spending the rest of the week with them?” he continued to probe her.
“Well…yeah.”
“Then you can come out for one night with us,” Bekah told her, standing and possessively entwining her fingers with Jack’s.
Lexi thought she might vomit at the sight. Her stomach was rolling and she didn’t like it. She just needed to get away. She needed to get away right now.
Something was up with Bekah, and Lexi knew it. This girl couldn’t be everything she acted like she was. Her emotions were all over the charts. She took every statement as if it were a personal blow against her. And Lexi was just trying to be honest! Well, so maybe she was telling the truth a little too blunt, because this girl got under her skin. But who cares?
As soon as she had met Bekah, Lexi knew that this couldn’t be the girl that Jack was going to marry. He could not be with her. The sweet and innocent act only went skin deep, and Jack could do better. He had dated her after all…well, kind of.
With all these thoughts rolling around in her head, Lexi knew that the best thing for her would be to get away as soon as possible. She didn’t want to do anything to sabotage their relationship if this was what he really wanted. If Jack had wanted Lexi, then he would have tried to make things work between them. But he hadn’t. And Lexi had to deal with that fact. She had to deal with knowing that he hadn’t chosen her. He didn’t want her.
It hurt. Damn, did it hurt! But she couldn’t do anything to change it.
But the other side—the less logical side—kept wondering why, if Jack did want Bekah, did he almost kiss Lexi last night? Why did he come home a day early from his trip to see her, and not tell Bekah about it?
That was the side that agreed to go to Ramsey’s party. The side that wanted to know if Jack still cared about her the way that she cared about him. If perhaps, Bekah was just the next best alternative.
MAY—THREE YEARS EARLIER
Lexi stared wistfully out the backseat window across the changing terrain. The rolling hills eased into a flat expanse anticipating the coming oceanfront. She could almost smell the distinct scent of salt mingled in the air. Decrepit signs, interspersed amongst the neon bulbs flashing from the street side, caught her eyes briefly before they locked onto the next tethered old business vying to compete with the beach community o
nly twenty minutes away. Palm trees had started springing up about forty-five minutes back, and Lexi’s desire to be beach-side, sprawled out with the sand between her toes, had grown exponentially since then.
“Babe, chill out. You’re doing that thing with your hair again,” Clark said snatching her hand from her face and clutching it in his.
Startled out of her daydreams, she glanced into Clark’s soothing green eyes. He had on a green intramural soccer shirt, which only intensified the gorgeous shade.
“Sorry,” Lexi said biting her bottom lip and suggestively raising her eyebrows at him, feeling the all too familiar desire to kiss him creep through her.
He traced the palm of her hand with his thumb and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “We’ll be there soon. I know you’re anxious.”
Lexi giggled looking at him coyly across her shoulder. “Oh yes, I’m very…anxious.”
He smiled warmly back at her, but was interrupted from responding by Seth. “None of that lovey-dovey shit back there. We’re not even putting you two in the same room. The walls are too thin for all that,” Seth said laughing as both their faces turned to pouts.
“Whatever, Seth,” Lexi said leaning forward across the center of the seat. She ignored Luke seated in the passenger seat ogling the cleavage bulging out of her low-cut halter top, and ruffled Seth’s hair. “You can’t honestly expect us to stay off of each other.”
“I’m not expecting it. No. But you can do that shit during the day. There isn’t enough space at night for you two to be in the same room.” Lexi leaned forward farther giving Seth a decidedly better view of her rack. “And,” he responded taking in the full view of her, “if you think that,” he pointed at her breasts, “is going to change anything, you’re wrong.” Despite his comment, she could tell his breathing was getting shallow. Men!
Clark grabbed her waist in his hands and pulled her back toward him. He snaked an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into him, and kissed her passionately. “I think we’ll make up for it. Don’t you?” he asked nibbling on her bottom lip.
A small moan escaped her mouth, but she pulled back shortly afterwards. She didn’t mind being flirtatious around their friends; however, she had to draw the line somewhere. Clark rarely liked where the line was drawn when it came to PDA. She let her gaze shift back out the window as they reached Seth’s parents’ beach house.
Seth’s parents were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary by cruising for seven blissful days in the Mediterranean. He had taken the liberty of securing…uh stealing a key to their new house from his younger sister, and invited as many of his friends to join him for the conveniently planned week before graduation. Many had turned down the invitation since it did fall so close to graduation, but eight had eventually agreed and were now in two cars driving toward their vacation destination.
Lexi had initially been concerned about the arrangement. Several people in attendance had lived with Jack at one point in time, and all of the people going knew him. But when Clark had excitedly invited her for his pre-graduation vacation, she hadn’t been able to tell him why she felt unsure about going on a free week-long trip to the beach when her summer job hadn’t started yet.
Clark. She smiled just thinking about him. They had met through Jack originally back in her freshman year. He hadn’t known all the details of what had gone on between them at the time, but he had learned enough to put the pieces together. When Clark had stumbled across Lexi walking around the mall, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from asking her out even knowing something had gone on with her and Jack. He unintentionally confessed that he had always thought she was way too good for Jack, and not even close to Jack’s type. Lexi hadn’t been sure if she wanted to say yes to the offer. Clark was a friend of Jack’s. Awkward. And even worse, he knew at least some of what they had gone through. Even more awkward.
Clark hadn’t been offended by her lack of exuberance, but he had continued to pursue her promising her a casual evening out. Lexi had never thought about Clark in a romantic sense. She had always been clouded by her blind desire for Jack. Even as she accepted his invitation, she hadn’t realized quite how handsome he was.
Their first date was nothing out of the ordinary. He had taken her to a dinner, not too expensive, but still nice. Afterwards, he took her to a local ice cream shop for dessert. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had that much fun. Clark was easy going, yet attentive to her. He seemed to genuinely care what she was talking about, and what she was interested in. Something about him that night remained permanently etched into her memory. Clark just got her. They just clicked. It was strange, even then, for Lexi to feel like Clark understood something about her that, perhaps, even she didn’t.
But she couldn’t help seeing Jack in him that night. When she looked at Clark, she could remember another time when things had been this easy. Feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of being physical with Clark after having those improper thoughts, she left him with only a simple good night kiss. But after that night, Lexi couldn’t deny that there was something about Clark she liked.
He kept calling and eventually, without even realizing it, they were a couple.
A few rather uncomfortable situations had occurred, in which, she was forced into civil environments with Jack. She usually extracted herself as quickly as possible, making whatever excuse came to mind. Recently, it had happened less frequently, and it thankfully made things easier between her and Clark.
Lexi’s mind had returned to Jack when Clark had invited her on this trip. She hadn’t even meant to ask about him. But somehow it had slipped out, and she had asked Clark the one pressing question she needed to base her decision on: Is Jack going to be there? She could handle hanging out with a bunch of people who knew that her and Jack had had…something at one point in time. But actually having him at the beach house for a whole week looking damn sexy would just kill her. She couldn’t do it.
She had been able to hear the disappointment in Clark’s voice over the phone. They had been dating for nearly nine months, and she still had to ask about Jack. Sighing uncomfortably, he had told her that he wasn’t positive, but last he had heard from Seth, Jack would be out of town for his cousin’s graduation ceremony in Savannah. That was all the confirmation she needed, and she had happily agreed to accompany them to the beach. Her tan was waning anyway.
Lexi popped open the door to the Lexus SUV as soon as Seth placed it in park and gingerly stretched out her aching muscles. She breathed in the cool beach air with a smile. Her head swiveled up to the massive beach house Seth’s parents called home. The entire place looked modern and chic from the outside. She couldn’t wait to see how the interior matched, but all she really cared about at that moment was the beach. She just wanted to sink her feet into the pure white sand and stare out across the Gulf of Mexico.
Clark came around from the other side of the car and kissed her cheek. Taking one last look at her, he said, “Go on.” He nudged her toward a pathway leading directly to the beach. “I’ll grab your bag.”
Without a backward glance, she rushed the gate blocking her way. Yanking it open, she dashed down the stone stairs, and around the corner. Her breath caught at the sight of the ocean looming ahead of her. Chucking her flip-flops to the side as she reached the threshold, she edged into the sand feeling the heated temperatures against her skin. Then she took off with a burst of energy, loving the overpowering feeling of release at the thought of being here, in this beautiful place, for an entire week.
Just before she reached the sand soaked through from the salty ocean water, she stopped dead in her tracks and stared dumbfounded in front of her. Maybe she was dreaming. Had she fallen asleep while she was in the car? Would she remember that she had been in the car if she was dreaming? Would he be here if she was dreaming? She didn’t really have to answer that question. He had always been in her dreams, but the real question was whether or not she was dreaming about him right now. Suddenly terrified, she
wondered if Clark would hear her say his name. Then realizing she couldn’t be dreaming or else she wouldn’t be thinking about this, she would be doing…other things. Her mouth opened as he turned toward her.
Had she said his name out loud? She didn’t remember.
“Lex?” he asked obviously just as startled as she was. “What…? How…? I…uh…”
“Are you real?” she blurted without thinking.
A characteristic smirk appeared on his face, and she knew. He was real. Even her dreams didn’t make him look this gorgeous. Every feature was vividly defined in the afternoon rays pouring over his body, and into his intensely blue orbs.
He took a step forward clearing the gap she had left between them. It had been a safe distance. Now, he was so close their bodies were nearly touching. Her breath caught as she raised her head to meet his intense stare. God, he looked amazing. Her foggy image of his perfect features faded so quickly when he was out of sight. Everything felt right as she stood in his presence, only inches separating them. He reached out placing one hand on her cheek, checking to see if she was, in fact, real. Lexi’s heart raced at the gentle touch, her mind returning to a brilliant clarity.
Jack was here.
They both seemed to be in a trance, as their looks never wavered. She felt his thumb stroke her cheek lovingly, but she couldn’t break away from him. She couldn’t remember the last time he had touched her…on purpose. Then, the image of her lying naked on his bed filled her mind, and she blushed deeply. He seemed amused by this and stepped closer to her. They both sank an inch or so into the sand as he shifted causing her to reach out and grab his chest to steady herself. His smirk returned when she didn’t pull her hand away from his incredible build.
This couldn’t be happening to her. There was no way that Jack would be here. Everyone had confirmed that he was supposed to be in Savannah…far, far away from the beach house. So she let her thoughts return to the possibility that she was dreaming. He was only a few inches from her succulent lips. It would be so easy to close the space. Though she had never envisioned being with Jack intimately on a beach before, she didn’t put it past her imagination. And her imagination could be very ingenious when it wanted to be.
