by K. A. Linde
“I…wait…what?” he asked glancing between Ramsey and Lexi.
“Regardless,” Ramsey said cutting him off, “what are you doing here?”
Jack glanced at Lexi nervously. And for a brief moment, before he returned his attention to Ramsey, Lexi noticed something else in his look. She could have picked it out anywhere. He had looked at her with hunger, with desire in his eyes. His pupils had dilated at the sight of her barely-there tank top and short khaki shorts. Some things never changed.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked Ramsey focusing his eyes anywhere but on Lexi.
Ramsey opened the trunk, pulled out Lexi’s luggage, and began hauling it up to the apartment. “Talk,” he grunted moving up the stairs. Jack clambered after him with Lexi following distantly behind. Ramsey fished out his keys and let them all into his apartment. Dropping Lexi’s suitcase to the floor, he set his eyes on Jack expectantly. “What is it, Howard?”
Jack’s eyes shifted anxiously between Ramsey and Lexi. “Could I speak to you alone, actually?”
Lexi reached for her luggage. “Oh, there’s something you can’t tell me. Shocker!” she said sarcastically.
“Hey,” Ramsey spoke sharply, reaching out, and gripping the luggage with his hand, “I’ve got this.” Lexi looked into his bright green eyes and released her hold. “Just give me a minute,” he told Jack before hauling her suitcase upstairs.
Lexi followed behind, angrier than she had originally thought. She knew that she had reason to continue to be angry with Jack. She still hadn’t told anyone exactly what had gone down that fateful night last August more out of shame than anything. Jack had hurt her, but just as bad, she had let him. After seeing everything crumble before her eyes, she had been forced to keep a wall up against those feelings at all times. Even a minor crack in that wall had made her snap at him.
Taking a right into the guest bedroom, Ramsey set her suitcase down next to the dresser before turning to face her. “What was that about?” he asked her keeping his voice level.
Lexi shook her head back and forth debating whether or not it was even worth it to bring up. “Nothing.”
“I know that you’re not happy about all this, and that there are a lot of issues. But you asked what I had to do as a groomsman. Well, this is one of the things that I have to do as a groomsman,” he said rolling his eyes. “It’s not like I want to talk to him about whatever he needs, but Bekah needs to me to do this. She’s my sister.”
“I know, Ramsey. All right?” she asked throwing her hands up in defeat.
“I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” he said reaching forward and pulling her into his arms. “I just have to deal with him. You snapping won’t help the situation. You’re still going to have to deal with him either way too.”
Lexi sighed knowing he was right, but hating admitting it. “You’re right.”
He planted a kiss on her forehead before releasing her. “Get comfortable. You know where everything is. Hopefully this won’t take long.”
As soon as Ramsey closed the door, Lexi kicked her luggage with such force she had to hop around on one foot due to the pain. She crumpled to the ground to examine the damage, which had only furthered her anger and frustration. Her toes were red, but she hadn’t broken the skin. They just felt cramped as she tried to wiggle them. After lying on the floor for another minute, she stood back up and began to pace the room.
How much longer could he really take? She desperately wanted to know what they were talking about and why it was taking so long. She assumed it had something to do with the preparations for this weekend, which made her skin crawl.
She was going to be at his damn wedding and suffer through the lies that they were going to tell each other. She was going to laugh during their vows and smile devilishly when he put a real ring next to the fake one Bekah was already wearing like a trophy. These were the things that she wanted to do, but not the thing that she wanted to do the most.
She wanted to ruin Bekah. She wanted to object in front of everyone that these two individuals were fit for marriage. When asked on what grounds, she couldn’t decide which answer to give—infidelity, lust, greed, manipulation, and lies. The list was endless. It would be a triumphant, beautiful moment for Lexi.
Chyna hadn’t thought so. She had completely disagreed with the idea. She might be destroying Bekah and Jack, but to what end? Did it make her any better than Bekah to destroy something like this? Lexi had tried to block out those questions. She had never stooped to Bekah’s level once. Not once.
There had been plenty of opportunities for sabotage. She could have ruined everything long ago, and yet she had refrained. If she hadn’t been capable of doing it then, what made Lexi think she could do it at the wedding? But it was her last chance. After they married, she would no longer have a chance.
Still, she kept asking herself what she was going to have a chance for. She wasn’t going to magically win Jack back after all of this. There was no potential left with Jack. Just a long lost love of someone who could never fully reciprocate those affections. It pained her through and through to know that Jack would never again be hers. He had been such a large part of her past that her future felt incomplete without him around. There were always those times when something happened, and her heart would ache for him. A hole was left in his absence and gradually it shrank, but it never completely disappeared.
A beep from her phone pulled her out of her sinking mood. She fished the phone out of her purse and clicked the button to pull up the text message. “Hey, I tried calling earlier. Can you talk?”
Lexi glanced up at the door, tentative about someone coming into the room. If Ramsey showed up, she knew this would be the last thing she wanted to deal with. “I want to, but I’m kind of busy.”
“Later?”
“I’ll try and find some time.”
“I wish you weren’t so far away. I’ve been thinking about you all morning.”
Lexi smiled at the words pushing the dose of guilt away. “I’ve been thinking about you too.”
“I really wanted to hear your voice.”
“I wish I had more time to talk.”
“Me too, babe.”
Her heart fluttered. She could almost hear the way he said that last line and it made her tingle to her toes. “Stupid wedding.”
“Skip the wedding and come back to me.”
She shook her head with a big goofy grin on her face. “You make it sound so tempting.”
“I can think of even more tempting things.”
“I’m sure you can, but it’s an old friend’s wedding. I have to be here. It’s complicated.”
“Don’t let it be.”
The door jiggled as if someone was about to walk into the room so she quickly shot back a response. “Sorry, I have to go. Talk to you later.”
She threw her phone into her purse just as Ramsey walked through the door. She tried to act nonchalant as if she hadn’t really been doing anything while he had been downstairs. Her heart was racing though. Ramsey didn’t know that anything had happened when they had been apart, and she wasn’t planning on telling him.
She wasn’t sure how Ramsey would react to news like that, but she didn’t want to find out. If the time ever came up in which she would need to tell him what had happened while they had been a part, then she would think about it. Until then, her lips were sealed, and she had always been good at keeping secrets.
Ramsey saw straight through her when he entered the room. “What’s going on?” she finally asked her voice staying level. His eyes darted from her face to her purse and back. She watched them flicker to her hands lightly clenching onto her khaki shorts to keep from moving. When they returned to her face, she could see that they were set and suspicious, but he wasn’t going to ask.
“Nothing,” he said a bit too quickly.
Lexi arched an eyebrow. She had been too focused on trying to keep from giving away what she had been doing to even really notice Ramsey. His shou
lders were tensed and his face looked weary. His own hands were clenched more forcefully at his side. She had no idea what this was about. “What? What happened?”
“Nothing, Lexi,” he repeated.
“Don’t lie to me. Look at yourself; you’re tensed for battle. What was he doing here?” she asked exasperated.
“Lexi, please don’t make me say anything. He asked me not to.” She could see that he was visibly fighting with himself about what to do. “I wanted to let you know that he was gone so maybe we could get some lunch,” he suggested, nodding his head toward the stairs. She followed him out of the room, but was unable to get the thoughts of Jack out of her mind.
“Can I have a hint?” she asked as she trudged down the stairs after him.
“No.”
“Ramsey, come on. He came here for some reason, right?”
“Yes, Lexi, but he wanted to speak to me alone for that same reason,” he said, never turning around to directly address her.
“It can’t be that important. He only has a week to the wedding, what could be so secretive?”
“Lexi, I’m begging you to drop this. Just let it go. I don’t even want to talk about it,” he said shaking his head again.
She followed him to the kitchen and watched as he prepared lunch for them. It was nothing too fancy, but she had never liked him for his extravagance. Her mind was elsewhere anyways. All she wanted to know was what had happened between him and Jack. She could see the weight of Jack’s words weighing down on Ramsey. Whatever the conversation had been about had been important. It hadn’t been some random discussion about what tie to wear or some last minute demand made from the groom. This was something serious.
And however she tried, she couldn’t just drop the subject. It was there in the back of her mind throughout lunch. He talked pleasantries about the weather and insignificant things that had occurred over the past month. It might as well have been falling on deaf ears as much as she paid attention. She did her fair share of participating, but her mind was elsewhere and he knew it.
“I think that’s the third time you’ve agreed with me on something that you hate,” he said sitting back in his chair and taking a swig of his beer.
Lexi blushed slightly at the statement. “Sorry, I’m just out of it.”
“Psh,” he muttered eyeing her cautiously. “You’ve been like this since Jack left. Can’t you just forget about it?”
A smile touched the edges of her mouth, as she shook her head no. She really couldn’t forget about it now, especially after he had made such a big deal about it.
“You’re incorrigible. You know that, right?” he asked taking a deep breath.
“Absolutely. So, what was he here for?” she asked leaning her elbows against the kitchen table and resting her chin in her hands.
“I really shouldn’t tell you.”
“Probably not,” she agreed cordially a teasing smile touching her features.
“Then, why am I?”
“Because you know I’ll never let it go.”
He rolled his eyes at her persistence. “Damn you, woman,” he said standing abruptly. “I gave him my word. If I tell you, what will it be worth?”
“Jack’s is worth nothing so I’ve no idea why you feel the need to protect him,” she shot back standing to face him.
“I’m not protecting him,” he said carefully, “just the fact that I told him I wouldn’t say anything should be enough. You’re likely the last person I would want to tell anyway.”
Lexi’s eyebrows shot up at the last statement. She could tell that he wanted to take it back, but it was too late. Something had happened with Jack and not only did Jack not want anyone to know, but Ramsey had some strong inclination not to let Lexi know in particular. This completely changed things. She had been persistent before, but this was a different story. This was somehow personal.
“And why exactly would you not want me to know?” she asked eyeing him reproachfully.
Ramsey scratched the back of his head thoughtfully as stared forward at Lexi. “You have a long…history with Jack.”
“As if that changes anything.”
“But it does,” he said closing the distance between them. She took a step backward not wanting the force of his presence to sidetrack their conversation, but he followed her movements wrapping a tight arm around her waist, securing her in place.
“Personal space,” she muttered causing him to smile at their remembered meeting where he hadn’t been able to avoid standing so close to her.
“This is where I like to be,” he said leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead.
Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact, but immediately opened back up to stare into his sparkling green eyes. “So, are you going to tell me what he wanted?” she asked trying to stay on track.
Ramsey groaned tilting his head back to the ceiling. “He’s getting cold feet,” he said barely louder than a whisper.
Lexi’s body froze at his words. The words hit her like a splash of ice water. She could feel everything begin to move in slow motion. Her hands, which were gripping Ramsey’s sides, began to shake. She dropped them immediately and took a step away from him. She cleared her throat just so that she had something to do with her hands.
“See! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” he said instantly regretting his actions.
“No, no it’s fine,” she said color beginning to return to her cheeks.
Ramsey rolled his eyes. “If you say so.”
“Did you—did you talk him back into it?” she asked hesitantly not wanting to appear too eager on either side.
“I tried not to get involved, but he wouldn’t let me. I told him to weigh the options and make a decision from there. He nodded along as if he had done that already, but I don’t know what he’s going to do. I told him that it’s only a week before the wedding and that this is a normal feeling, but I’ve never been…uh,” he paused, “in this situation so I was just going off what people told me. I told him if he thought he had been able to go through with it up until this point, that he was probably just spooked.”
“Yeah,” she coughed to clear her throat again. “That’s good advice.”
“Please, don’t think too much into this,” he begged and pleaded with her, reaching out for her hand.
“Ramsey, I’m not thinking into it at all,” she told him giving him a smile that they both knew was fake.
DECEMBER—EIGHT MONTHS EARLIER
Lexi’s phone buzzed noisily as soon as she exited the airplane. She rifled around in her travel purse filled to the brim with items she couldn’t fit in her luggage. After locating it, she pressed the green button and said, “Chyna, perfect timing.”
“Perfect timing?” Chyna asked. “I’ve been calling you for an hour. Where the hell have you been?”
Lexi chuckled. Leave it to Chyna to forget that her best friend was leaving the state for over a week to spend Christmas with her family. “I’m in Atlanta. I just landed at the airport. Remember? We had this discussion.”
“No, we didn’t,” Chyna said cattily.
“Yes, we did. I told you I would be gone a week to visit my family and Ramsey,” she reminded her.
“We did not have this conversation. Where were we?” she demanded.
Lexi sighed as she moved through the crowd with her carry-on bag in tow. “We were getting manicures early in the week.”
“Wait, was that Wednesday?”
“Yes. See I knew you’d remember.”
“Oh no, I remember the manicure,” Chyna said flatly. “And I had a date that night.”
“You’ve been having a lot of those lately,” Lexi said chuckling to herself. Not that it was any different for Chyna to have a lot of dates, but normally she talked about them. She hadn’t said a peep about the guys she had been seeing lately. Lexi found it refreshing not to have to listen to her talk about how good they were in bed—or how terrible.
“Not anymore than usual,” she s
tated a bit more defensive than normal, but Lexi brushed it off assuming it was another one of Chyna’s dramatic moments.
“So, what can I do for you, chica?”
“I was going to have you come over to finalize the New Year’s plans, but obviously we can’t do that,” she said annoyed.
“Not my fault. I called to see if I needed to finalize anything, and you said I didn’t,” Lexi told her hopping on a train to take her from her terminal to the baggage claim.
“What? No you didn’t,” Chyna cried emphatically.
“What’s with you forgetting things lately?” Lexi asked.
“I’m not forgetting things,” she snapped. “We just…never had that conversation. Anyway, I suppose I’ll do it all myself.”
“Chyna, you can email me the plans, and I can look over them. I’m going to be at my parent’s house the majority of the time. It’s not as if it’s inconvenient,” Lexi told her rolling her eyes. Chyna had gotten it into her mind that she wanted to throw the most lavish New Year’s party ever. Lexi wasn’t sure why they couldn’t go to a party that was already being thrown, but Chyna had insisted. And when Chyna insisted, it was really better to just acquiesce than to argue.
“Oh, I guess that’ll work,” she agreed finally, as Lexi stepped off the train.
“Great.”
“So, what are you doing with Ramsey when you’re there? You haven’t been together in a couple weeks because of finals. Should be a,” Chyna coughed as if she couldn’t find the proper word, “relaxing week.”
Lexi laughed loving her best friend in that moment. “Yes, it should be relaxing. However, I have no idea what he has planned,” she admitted.
“Let me know as soon as you do. I want all the gushy details.”
“Of course,” Lexi said standing in front of the baggage claim.
“Oh, and I’m going to send you some stuff. If you could look at that and get back to me, that would be great,” Chyna said. “Gotta go. Love ya, chica”
The phone died in her hands. Lexi sighed and threw the phone back in her purse. Typical Chyna. She had been even more flighty than normal lately, and Lexi hadn’t been able to figure it out. She didn’t mind that her friend had been kind of MIA, but she was curious as to the cause.
