by K. A. Linde
Wasn’t it?
“That offer still stands,” John said right before they broke apart.
John moved to stand next to Adam. Holding her flowers up to her chest, Lexi turned at the same time and took her place next to where Chyna would be standing. John caught her gaze, and he smirked as if he knew that she was considering the offer.
How could she ever consider an offer like that? What was wrong with her? What would make her do that? She felt so out of it all of a sudden. The conversation with Chyna a few weeks ago had only put further doubts in her mind. As if she wasn’t already freaked-out enough, she was now constantly thinking about what she wanted. Was this what she wanted?
It felt like it—most of the time.
But was that good enough?
Lexi averted her gaze from John. She didn’t want to hear his words echoing in her mind. You’re regretting not taking that out. She couldn’t regret it. She had always promised herself she wouldn’t regret. And anyway…her life was everything it should be.
Then, why was she such a ball of stress?
Ramsey met her eyes and lifted his eyebrows as if to ask, Are you okay?
She nodded slightly. She hoped he took that to mean that she was okay rather than she just didn’t want to talk about it. There was a time and a place for that conversation. The more she obsessed, the more she realized that it was pretty inevitable. They needed to get back on track, and they couldn’t do that with her acting like such a hot mess. He would calm her down once they were back in Atlanta. Things would be all right.
Right now, she needed to worry about Chyna’s wedding…and nothing else.
And as she had that thought, a traditional Canon in D filled the speakers, and everyone rose to their feet. After a second, Chyna materialized in the doorway. Everyone caught their breaths at the sheer awe-inspiring beauty before them. Surely, everyone looked good on their wedding days, but not everyone was a supermodel. So, Chyna took the cake.
Her dress was the best of both worlds with a mix of vintage and modern designs. It was a full lace gown with cap sleeves that dangled elegantly all the way down to a V-cut in the back. The bodice had a wave cut that ended in a small V to reveal just a hint of cleavage but nothing over the top. Intricate design work was beaded under the chest until the waist where the lace swept down elegantly into a train behind her. The backside of the gown had a small bow at the base of the V-cut, and then two-dozen little buttons held the dress together.
Chyna smiled her supermodel smile, and then she proceeded down the aisle in a smooth light gait, not rushed but not slow.
The best part of it all was that Chyna needed no one to walk her down the aisle. In most circumstances, this would be a moment of embarrassment, of hushed whispers among the guests. But Chyna had refused to invite her parents, and there was no one else that she wanted to give her away. Lexi had suggested Frederick, and Chyna had just laughed at the very idea of it. Frederick was seated on the bride’s side, but he couldn’t be the one to do it. She had reasoned that she was completely independent now, and thus, she should be free to give herself away.
Lexi thought it was perfect.
Chyna’s eyes found Adam on the platform, and they didn’t leave his the entire way. There could be no one else in the room, and Chyna would have been happy. This was the man she had always wanted, and he was right in front of her. She was finally going to have the happiness she deserved.
Chyna stopped at the platform, handed off her bouquet of flowers to Lexi, and then moved into place in front of her husband-to-be.
The officiant smiled down upon them before speaking. “On behalf of the bride and groom, I would like to welcome you all to the union of Chyna Van der Wal and Adam Ward. Please be seated.”
He waited for the crowd to readjust to their seats before continuing. “I am pleased to be here today to join together a pair so well suited for each other. I have heard nothing but praise and blessings showered down on them since meeting them and speaking with their friends and family. And it is with great pleasure that I conduct this ceremony. If you’ll join hands, we’ll begin.”
Chyna and Adam clasped hands together and stared up into each other’s eyes. Lexi had been surprised that Chyna, who was one of the least traditional people that she knew, had wanted a very traditional wedding. She hadn’t wanted anything in a church, but the ceremony itself seemed very important to her, and it had translated into what the wedding planner had put together for them.
He turned to Adam first. “Adam, do you intend to take this woman whose hand you hold to be your lawful wedded wife? Do you pledge before your friends and family to love, honor, and protect her through sunshine and shadow alike, keeping yourself for her alone, until death separate you? If so, answer I do.”
Adam turned and looked directly at Chyna. Lexi could see him from her vantage point, and it sent a shiver up her spine. He loved Chyna so much that it was almost unbelievable. There was no way that anyone could miss it. It made her heart pound, just seeing the devotion on his face.
He answered, “I do.”
The officiant repeated the statement of intent to Chyna, and she also answered in the affirmative. Lexi’s heart fluttered.
“Now, Adam, if you’ll repeat after me,” the officiant said, preparing them for the vows, “I, Adam, take you, Chyna, to be my wife…”
Lexi watched them exchange vows through the tears welling in her eyes.
“To have and to hold from this day forward…”
She had never been so sure of a marriage before. Chyna and Adam just worked together.
“For better or for worse…”
They were polar opposites coming together, balancing each other out, and creating a harmony in each other’s lives.
“For richer or for poorer…”
That was what Chyna needed more than anything, and Adam was the only one who was capable of providing that.
“In sickness and in health…”
It was what Lexi wanted, what she had been searching for all along…
“To love and to cherish, excluding all others…”
Someone who didn’t need to take care of her. Someone who didn’t need her to take care of them. But a balance…
“As long as we both shall live.”
Someone who didn’t need anything but her.
The officiant spoke briefly about the significance of the wedding rings—how the ring formed a perfect circle as a symbol of eternity and showed the duration of the commitment they were making to each other. Chyna and Adam looked ecstatic at the prospect, and Lexi just felt like a weight was crushing her shoulders.
“Repeat after me, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow…”
Commitment—there was that word again. It all came down to that, to knowing that she was going to spend the rest of her life with this one person.
“And with all that I am…”
And not because she had to but because she wanted to. She couldn’t imagine a minute of your future without that person. She couldn’t imagine there ever being another person waiting at the altar for her.
“And with all that I have…”
But Lexi…could.
“I will honor you.”
It made Lexi’s head spin at the very notion. She tried to remain in the present, but it was hard not to visualize herself standing in Chyna’s shoes and wondering if she would be as excited as her friend. Judging by how sick she was feeling standing next to Chyna…Lexi kind of doubted it. How was she supposed to stand there in just over six months without trembling and wondering if she was making the right choice?
“And now, by the authority vested in me and in accordance with the laws of the great State of New York, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Adam smiled brightly. “With pleasure,” he whispered just faintly enough for Lexi to hear before pulling his wife into his arms and crushing their lips together.
The crowd clapped and cheered at their union. Lexi ev
en heard a few whistles and catcalls as they stood together in an intimate lip-lock before all their friends and family in attendance. When they pulled apart, Chyna was giggling, and tears were welling in her eyes. Lexi had never in her life seen Chyna look so happy.
They turned to face the crowd as the officiant ended the ceremony.
“It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Adam and Chyna Ward.”
Everyone rose to his or her feet, and the applause continued. Lexi handed Chyna back her intricate bouquet of flowers. Adam and Chyna lifted their clasped hands high, and everyone cheered louder.
Lexi glanced across the altar at John. In that moment, it was the least guarded she had ever seen him, and he looked genuinely happy for his brother. After what had happened with him and Chyna, it had taken a long time for them to be able to let it go. She didn’t even see a trace of it on his face.
He caught her eye and smirked as if to say, Are you this happy?
She bit her lip but didn’t pull her eyes away. The answer was no, and he could read it clear all over her face.
Adam hoisted Chyna up into his arms, and her head dropped back as she laughed at the pure joy and ridiculousness of the man she loved. Instead of letting her walk down the aisle, Adam carried her to a deafening round of applause just as the sun eased to the bottom of the horizon, and the sky changed to a gorgeous pink, orange, and yellow hue across the skyline.
John and Lexi came together in the center, linked arms again, and followed the couple off of the rooftop. Lexi didn’t glance over at Ramsey once. She couldn’t meet his eye. She couldn’t let him see the thoughts swirling through her mind right now.
They made it through the double doors, and when she finally removed her hand from the sleeve of John’s suit, she took a few steps away from him. Chyna and Adam had disappeared, and Lexi could only guess what they were up to.
“We’ll take pictures in about ten minutes,” the wedding planner said, addressing them.
“Thank you,” she got out weakly.
“Are you okay, dear?”
“She’s just a little light-headed,” John interjected quickly. “I’ll make sure that she’s taken care of.”
The wedding planner smiled, relieved. “Thank you. Remember, ten minutes.”
John waited until the wedding planner left before doing anything. The reception would be starting shortly after this in the ballroom downstairs. An open bar was keeping people entertained while they waited for all the pictures to be completed. But there was only one way on and off the roof, and John was hauling her into a private room, away from the entrance to avoid the partygoers who would soon follow.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” John asked once they were inside the room.
Lexi shrugged. “No.”
“At least you didn’t say that nothing was wrong.”
“Just…leave me alone.”
“What? So, you can mope in here during your best friend’s wedding? No can do,” John said. “So, just spit out what’s wrong, and we can go take some pictures.”
Lexi just glared at him.
“Better yet. Let me just guess. You’re realizing how heavy that ring is on your finger.”
“I am not,” she snapped.
“Let me see it,” he said, snatching her left hand in his. “Pear-shaped.” He tsked her, shaking his head. “I would have pegged you for a princess cut, but what do I know? I’m not marrying you.”
“You’re such an ass,” Lexi said, snatching her hand back. “I thought you were going to try to make me feel better, not harass me about my engagement.”
“Fine. Do you want me to lock the door? I bet we can make this quick,” he said, walking toward the door.
“No! Are you out of your mind?” Lexi asked, jumping up to stop him.
“Are you sure? You look like you need a good fuck to get your head on straight.”
“The only person fucking me is my boyfriend!”
“Fiancé,” John corrected with a smirk.
“Oh, whatever.”
“That’s right. It’s just, whatever. It doesn’t really matter,” he said, whirling her around and pushing her back against the wall, right by the door.
Once again, she was backed against a wall by John when she had given no invitation.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Lexi, you can’t deny the physical attraction between us,” he said softly, running his hands down her cheek.
She tried to swat his hand away, but he grabbed her wrist. She started panicking. This was not good.
“Um…yes, I can!”
He leaned down toward her and smiled devilishly. “No, you can’t. You never could.”
The door swung open then with John hovering only inches above her lips, his hand gripping into her wrist, and the other, she hadn’t even noticed until then, was pressed into her waist.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Ramsey asked, glaring daggers at John.
John released her slowly but kept that insufferable smirk on his face. He was clearly in no hurry.
Lexi didn’t even know what to say. Ramsey looked livid. His eyes were on fire. His body was rigid, and his hands were balled into fists. She had only ever seen him this angry that night on New Year’s so long ago. It was a white-hot fury, uncontrollable and unstoppable.
“I’ve only ever set one rule,” Ramsey said, walking into the room with slow, measured steps. “I don’t care who she’s friends with. I don’t care who she hangs out with. I don’t even care if they want to fuck her or love her or marry her. You just can’t touch her.”
And then, Ramsey pulled back and rammed his fist into John’s jaw.
Lexi shrieked in shock. Where the fuck had that come from? Holy shit!
John took a staggered step back on impact, but Ramsey wasn’t letting up. He slammed his fist into the other side of John’s face, then into his gut, and then another into his ribs. It wasn’t until that last one that John truly grasped what was happening. He blocked Ramsey’s next hit and sent his fist into Ramsey’s kidney.
“Stop!” Lexi cried, tugging on Ramsey’s suit. “Stop! Stop!”
It was like they didn’t even hear her or feel her trying to get between them. They were set on each other, and she could already see blood running from John’s nose. Fuck!
“It’s Chyna’s wedding! We still have pictures! Are you guys fucking stupid? Cut it out!” Lexi yelled, placing herself in between them and pushing Ramsey back with both of her hands.
He didn’t budge at first, but then he seemed to let the anger slide off him, and he sagged backward a few steps.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” John said, holding his nose. “Do you see what you’re marrying, Lexi? Do you believe me now?”
“Just get out of here, John. Go have someone look at your nose,” she said, pointing her finger to the door. “Fuck.”
John stormed out of the room in a fury, and Lexi was sure she would never hear the end of this with Chyna. How the hell were they supposed to take pictures now when John had a busted nose? And it was all because John had cornered her when she had been freaking out, and Ramsey had jumped to conclusions. She had been trying to push John away, and she had wanted him to leave but not like that.
“What was that, Ramsey?” she asked, shaking her head and pacing back forth. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I know you said that you would kill anyone who touched me, but I didn’t think that was a literal statement! I thought that you would just scare the person to get him to leave me alone.”
“He’s scared now.”
“Oh, stop talking. Just stop talking!” Lexi breathed in and out sharply, trying to keep her calm but finding no serenity from which to draw from. “Boys and their stupid fighting! As if this solves anything! It only makes everything worse!”
“I was coming to find out what was wrong with you at the ceremony. Don’t think it slipped by me that something was going on with you. Then, I come back here and find y
ou like this? Is this what the problem is? Is it John?” Ramsey asked.
“No! It’s you!” she spat and then covered her mouth in horror.
JUNE—FOUR MONTHS EARLIER
Lexi jogged down the beach in nothing but a purple bikini top, short black hot pants, and running shoes. Her breathing was heavy, and her long brown hair was whipping around her face at her quick pace. This was her favorite place in the world—sand beneath her feet, expansive ocean as far as the eye could see, breathing in the salty sea air.
She was close to the beach house already, and her wanting to turn back around and run another couple miles had everything to do with the desire to soak up some more sun. It had nothing to do with the fact that the only reason she was at the beach at all was because she was on vacation with Ramsey’s family.
The one week she was allowed off during the year, and they’d had to use it to spend the time with his family who hated her. Okay, they didn’t all hate her, but it was never a pleasant experience. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she had to spend time with his parents, Bekah, Jack, and Parker had tagged along for the occasion. Parker was practically family with the Bridges since opening the medical wing with Ramsey…and maybe even before then. It didn’t make any of this any easier.
Lexi slowed to a jog and then a walk, letting her heart rate come down. Sweat glistened on her in the late afternoon heat. She wasn’t sure how long she had been gone, but by the direction of the sun, she would guess she had been running for at least an hour, if not longer. How far had she run? She would have to map it when she got back.
Her feet carried her away from the ocean and through the loose sand, back up to the massive beach house Ramsey’s family owned on the Florida coast. Ramsey had his own house, but they had decided to go to his parents’ place because it was a bit bigger. The only benefit was that their room was far enough away from everyone else that no one could hear them, and she couldn’t hear anyone else.
Jack was sitting on the deck with his feet propped up on the balcony, reading a beat-up paperback. He didn’t glance up until she was climbing the short flight of stairs. His eyes traveled her tiny form wearing practically nothing while she was coated in sweat and sand, and he smirked. She smiled shyly, reading his mind.
