“What’s wrong?”
Rhea blew out an exasperated breath. “I don’t know what to get. I can’t believe how expensive everything is and I’m not sure I remember how to cook. I mean, I can make a sandwich and open a can of beans, but beyond that I’m a little lost.”
Morgan laughed. In that moment she forgot all about Rhea’s past and her own doubts and fears. In that moment she wasn’t looking at a convicted felon or a murderer. Rhea was just a woman. She was lost and needed help and despite the frown furrowing her brow and the glint of fear and frustration marring her face, she was incredibly beautiful. Morgan’s heart skipped, a sensation she tried to ignore.
Rhea laughed uncomfortably and the soft reverberation made Morgan’s heart skip again, and this time the sensation was enough to take her breath. “Well, I don’t think it’s necessary to buy the whole store at once, but I think you’ll need a little more than ice cream for dinner.”
Rhea’s shoulders eased, and she smiled up at Morgan.
“Want some help?” Morgan asked.
“Please.”
Morgan had an overwhelming sense of relief, as if she’d been offered a lifesaving gift. Despite her rough start and no resources, Rhea had never once asked for help. Having her ask now was like turning a light on in the dark.
“What do you like?”
Rhea looked lost. “I don’t know anymore.”
Morgan’s chest tightened. What kind of life could leave someone not even knowing what they liked to eat? “Okay. Let’s start with something easy. How about spaghetti?”
Rhea’s eyes brightened, and Morgan’s heart broke at the innocence that was suddenly so apparent in Rhea’s eyes. How had she not seen this before? Rhea had the body and mind of a woman who had seen the cruelty of the world, but she still had the heart of a child. What had it cost Rhea to hide the purest part of herself?
“What else do you miss?”
Rhea looked stunned. She licked her lips as if tasting something that lingered at the edge of her tongue.
“French fries. And maybe some chili with cheese melted on top.”
Morgan smiled. It was worse than she thought. Rhea must have been a fast-food junkie as a teenager. “I think I have an idea to get you started, and we can build you up to some real food.”
Fifteen minutes later, Rhea’s cart showed improvement, and Morgan was at least satisfied she wouldn’t starve to death in the next week or two.
Morgan pushed her cart to the checkout counter, and Rhea took her place in line behind her.
“Hello, Reverend Scott, it’s so nice to see you,” the woman behind the register exclaimed as Morgan began to unload her items onto the conveyor belt.
“Hello, Mrs. Picket. It’s good to see you too, but you know I’m not a reverend anymore.”
“Oh, codswallop. I don’t care what those stuffies in the church said, you’re still the reverend to me. We don’t see you around nearly enough. I’ve missed you. Things just aren’t the same since you left.”
Morgan’s face slowly moved from a rosy shade of pink to a faint purple, and Rhea wondered if she was about to have a stroke. What was this woman talking about? She had definitely called Morgan reverend and Rhea’s curiosity was piqued. Was Morgan some kind of priest? She thought back on how she had handled Jeff earlier. Was that priest-like? Rhea was confused about what little she knew about Morgan. Well it certainly explained her rose-colored view of the world. Rhea listened with intense interest as Morgan tried to skirt the woman’s inquiries and more than colorful opinions of the church.
Outside Rhea helped Morgan load their groceries into a bin she kept in the back of the truck.
“Why did that woman call you reverend? Are you some kind of priest?”
Morgan didn’t look at her, but Rhea saw her stiffen. What didn’t Morgan want her to know?
“I used to be.”
“How does that happen? How do you stop being a priest? Did you lose your faith or something?”
“No,” Morgan snapped. She wiped her face with her hands and drew in a deep breath. “I was stripped of my duties with the church. That doesn’t mean I lost my faith in God.”
Morgan’s sharp tone stung, and Rhea was surprised to find that, for whatever reason, she cared about what Morgan felt. She was well aware of the cruelty people could inflict on each other when they used God as a weapon. Her parents had been very good at it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just trying to understand. I don’t believe in God, so I guess I wasn’t thinking about how that would sound to you.”
Morgan was silent for a long time, and Rhea was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to speak to her again. “Why’d they do it? Why’d they say you couldn’t be a priest anymore?”
Morgan sighed. “I was involved with another woman, and I had performed several same-sex unions without the permission of the church.”
Rhea caught her breath. “Wasn’t that part of your job?”
“Usually, yes, but the church was opposed to same-sex marriage.”
Rhea had an unsettling feeling of disappointment. “Where’s your girlfriend then?”
A muscle jumped in Morgan’s jaw. Rhea could tell Morgan was upset and considered letting the issue go. Whatever the story, this wound still hurt.
“I don’t have one.”
“But—”
“It’s getting late, and I’d like to get back to get the feeding done before it gets much later. Is there anything else you need while we’re out?”
Morgan’s clipped tone and abrupt dismissal effectively stopped Rhea’s questions. There was definitely a story there, and part of her wanted to push. After all, Morgan had asked about her past, and now that the tables were turned she didn’t like it. But despite her curiosity, regret stirred in Rhea’s belly. This was the first time she’d seen Morgan unsettled, hurt even, and she didn’t like it. Maybe Morgan understood more about betrayal than she thought. The idea churned in Rhea’s stomach, and she decided to go easy. She considered what she’d learned about Morgan since they’d met, and realized Morgan didn’t leave the farm much except for business. She spent all her time working in her studio or on the farm. Maybe she wasn’t the only one trying to lose herself in the safety and comfort of solitude.
Chapter Five
The next day Morgan followed the trail from the back of her house through the woods to the spring-fed stream that provided water to her farm. It was where she went when the world got too close. It was the place where she allowed nature to ground her and remind her that there was still some good left in the world. Her heart was heavy after running into Mrs. Picket at the store. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t wanted to explain things to Rhea. It wasn’t like it was a secret, but she hadn’t wanted to explain what had happened to Ashley. That was a wound she was afraid would never heal.
She climbed up onto a large granite rock that overlooked the crest of a waterfall. The stone was cold despite the warm sunshine, and the cold bite grounded her to the moment. Morgan took a deep breath and lifted her face to the sun. She closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of warm sun on her skin, the soft breeze that rustled the loose strands of her hair, and the sound of the water churning through the granite and earth like a herd of blundering boar. Morgan smiled at the thought and realized for the first time how appropriate it was to describe a stream as a babbling brook. Who knew water had so much to say?
When the tension began to ease in her shoulders, she let out a long breath and began to pray. She believed that her conversation with God never ended, but it was in this place, when she put aside all the chores, all the worry, and the demands of life, that she felt the most comforted.
A branch snapped close by and Morgan opened her eyes, her halted words left lingering on the air. She looked around, expecting to find a curious squirrel or a mink.
“Sorry,” Rhea called from an adjoining trail. “I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Morgan w
as surprised to see Rhea. She still wasn’t used to having someone around all the time. But despite her earlier trepidation and irritation, she warmed at the sight of Rhea. “It’s okay. There’s room for both of us.”
Rhea joined Morgan on the rock. “I heard your voice. Were you praying?”
Morgan nodded.
“Why?”
Morgan was confused by the question. “What do you mean?”
“Well, people usually pray when they want something or want to change something bad that’s happening to them. I was curious which it was with you,” Rhea said.
“It isn’t like that at all. Of course I pray about things that are happening in my life, but I mostly pray for guidance, understanding, or forgiveness. For me, prayer is like having a conversation with an old friend.”
Rhea fidgeted with a stick she found on the ground. “Does it ever do any good?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I used to pray when I was a kid. As far as I can tell, no one was listening.”
“Hmm.” Morgan thought about what Rhea said. “I think sometimes we expect things to happen the way we want them to, and when that doesn’t happen, disappointment gets in the way of our seeing the answer when it comes.”
Rhea frowned. “Next you’ll try to tell me that everything happens for a reason. I don’t buy that. I can’t see how there could be any benefit in children starving, earthquakes that swallow cities, families, homes. What is the purpose behind war and cancer?”
Morgan turned to Rhea. “These are terrible things that exist in our world. Many of them we have the power to change, some we don’t. I don’t think there is some divine purpose behind suffering. I think that God suffers when we suffer. I think God is there as a comfort. It comforts me to know that no matter how hard things get, I am never alone.”
“Like a friend?”
“See, you get it.”
“So why do you think God let you get kicked out of the church?”
Morgan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I wasn’t kicked out of church. I’m just not a priest anymore. People have free will and the ability to make their minds up for themselves. We are a bit like children having to learn things the hard way. Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we learn from them, and sometimes those mistakes hurt other people.”
Rhea tossed the stick aside. “So you’re saying we just blame God for the bad things that happen.”
“Sometimes, yeah, we do.”
Rhea thought about that for a while. “I’m sorry I upset you earlier. I can tell this is something that bothers you.”
Morgan slid her arm through Rhea’s and squeezed. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I guess I’m still learning to deal with my own mistakes.”
Rhea was surprised by Morgan’s touch. She wasn’t used to anyone showing any kind of affection toward her. Her skin warmed, and she was pleased that Morgan was comfortable enough with her to be close. She wanted to make things right with Morgan. “I have a way of pushing people’s buttons sometimes. I’m sorry. And thank you for helping me with my groceries.” Rhea sighed. “There’s so much I have to learn. I never imagined things would be this hard.”
Morgan leaned her head against Rhea’s. “We never do.” She pulled Rhea closer against her and watched the ever-changing water. “I’d like to help you. At the very least I’m a good listener. Everyone needs someone.”
“You don’t.”
Morgan laughed. “Of course I do, even if I’m too stubborn most of the time to admit it. Look how much I need you.”
Rhea jerked and looked at her with surprise. “You need me?”
Morgan smiled. “Since you’ve been here, I’ve seen just how much help I did need. I was too afraid to let anyone close to admit that I was overwhelmed with all the work to do here.”
Rhea frowned. “Oh.”
“Having you around has made me realize how lost I’d become. Losing the church was only part of it. But since you’ve been here, I’ve had to look at a lot of things differently. It’s very brave of you to start over here the way you have. In some ways you’re showing me how to start over too.”
Rhea didn’t think of herself as brave, but hearing Morgan describe her that way made her feel proud. She laced her fingers over Morgan’s hand wrapped around her arm. “Thank you for that.”
Neither of them spoke for a long time. Rhea sat still, noticing each point where her body made contact with Morgan’s. There was none of the usual fear and pain that plagued her when she was too close to someone. Morgan made her feel safe. Morgan’s hand was warm wrapped around her biceps, and Rhea could feel Morgan’s breast pressed against the back of her arm. Rhea’s stomach fluttered as if a rabble of butterflies were swarming in her belly. The sensation was exciting and she tightened her hand on Morgan’s wishing the feeling would never end.
Too soon, Morgan shifted and moved away. “I guess I better get back if I’m going to get any work done today.”
“Oh, okay.” Rhea was disappointed. She’d liked being here with Morgan and she wasn’t ready for reality to wipe it all away.
“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?” Morgan asked as she dusted herself off. “I can show you some simple things you can cook at home. Maybe you can try something new.”
Rhea was excited to get a chance to talk with Morgan more. “Sure. That sounds great.”
Morgan smiled. “Great.”
Rhea felt Morgan’s smile touch her somewhere deep inside. Her heart lightened and her own smile grew.
Morgan reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get going then, the chores are waiting.” Morgan slid her arm around Rhea’s shoulder. “Last one done does the dishes,” Morgan teased.
Rhea laughed. “Deal.”
*
Rhea stood on Morgan’s porch, staring at the door. It wasn’t like she hadn’t eaten with Morgan before, but tonight felt different. She had finished her work and chores and took the time to go back to the cabin and clean up and change her clothes. She had cleaned up her boots and put on her best old shirt. She bit her lip and knocked. A couple of minutes passed before Morgan opened the door. She smiled at Rhea.
“Hey, come on in. I was just getting started on dinner.”
Morgan wore a fresh pair of new blue jeans, a crisp white button-up shirt, and a pair of black boots. A thick black belt circled her waist, adorned with a dark metal buckle in the shape of a Celtic knot. Rhea felt the odd fluttering in her stomach when she looked at Morgan and her face grew hot. She was glad Morgan hadn’t seemed to notice her blush.
Morgan placed a bundle of spinach on the table, with a heap of mushrooms, peppers, and an onion. Next to that she had a large sirloin on a cutting board.
“You’re just in time. You can cut the onion.”
Rhea laughed. “What happened to letting me choose what chores I want to do?”
Morgan smiled. “Sorry, you’re out of luck this time. But to be fair, if you cut the onion, I’ll help with the dishes.”
Rhea grinned. “What makes you think I lost our bet? I finished my chores early.”
Morgan looked thoughtful for a moment. “That’s the thing about being your own boss. I left work early today.”
“That’s not fair.”
Morgan shrugged. “What can I say? I cheated.”
Rhea laughed. “I’m going to remember that.”
Morgan slid a cutting board over to Rhea and started slicing the meat.
“What are we cooking?”
Morgan smiled. “Fajitas.”
Rhea’s mouth watered. This was going to be a real treat.
Morgan placed a large pan on the stove. Moments later the room was filled with the smell of cooking meat and spices.
“Here, you finish this while I warm the tortillas.” Morgan placed tortillas on a flat pan and heated them on the stove.
Rhea was swept up in the cooking and was enjoying the time with Morgan. They worked seamlessly together as they move
d about the room. This was fun.
“This smells so good. I can hardly wait to taste it,” Rhea said as she filled a large bowl with the steak and vegetables.
Morgan smiled as she set the table. It was nice to have Rhea there. “I’m glad you’re here. I love to cook, but I hate to cook for myself. It seems like such a waste of time. When I do cook, I usually make enough to do for a couple of days so I don’t have to bother for a while.”
“Well, you can use me to get in your fix anytime you want.”
They sat down to dinner and Morgan was pleased by how easy it was to be with Rhea. It was the first time they had spent any amount of time together without some kind of issue creating tension between them. “You didn’t seem to know what foods you wanted to try, so I took a risk with the fajitas. I hope you like it.”
“Oh, I can already tell I’m going to love it. Prison food wasn’t something I enjoyed. Most things didn’t have much flavor at all. I can say that food has been one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being out.”
Morgan refused to flinch away from the topic of prison. She wanted to know more about Rhea. “What did you miss?”
Rhea watched Morgan fill a tortilla with meat and vegetables and dress it with sour cream and lettuce and cheese. She filled her own tortilla as she thought about her answer.
“I missed being outside. It was like never getting a full breath of air. But what I thought about most of the time was my little sister.”
“I didn’t know you had a sister.”
Rhea smiled. “Molly. She was eleven when everything happened. That was the last time I saw her.”
Morgan stopped chewing and starred at Rhea. “That’s rough. I can’t imagine not being able to see J.J.”
Rhea nodded. “You know, it’s kinda weird that your sister is my parole officer. She’s been really great with me. I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t arranged for me to be here.”
Love’s Redemption Page 6
