Walking in silence, they reached the interview room and Heath paused for a second, his hand ready to knock. He cleared his throat then dragged in a deep breath before turning to face her, the animosity gone from his eyes now, just two colleagues needing a bit of moral support from each other.
‘I hate this part.’
Bella gave a grim nod. ‘I know.’
And she did.
Knew how he felt as he sat down and introduced himself but, worse, far worse, she knew exactly how the family felt, their eyes raking the medical staff, desperate to glean some information before the verdict came.
‘Andrew was brought into the department nearly an hour ago,’ Heath started gently, ‘suffering multiple injuries. He was deeply unconscious on arrival and his heart stopped beating effectively soon afterwards.’
‘He’s dead, isn’t he?’ Kathryn Stevens’s voice was hollow.
‘Kathryn.’ Heath was careful not to shake his head, careful not to offer false hope. ‘For over forty minutes now we’ve been trying to resuscitate Andrew, to get his heart started, but unfortunately we’ve had no response. None at all,’ he added, very gently but very firmly. ‘It is my opinion that if we were to get Andrew’s heart beating, and at this stage I doubt very much we will, but if we were to, it would only be a matter of time before it stopped again.’ He paused for a moment, letting the horrible news sink in as Andrew’s parents clung to each other, the wife Kathryn so alone on a chair.
‘If it didn’t?’ she whispered. ‘I mean, if he survived?’
Heath nodded as she voiced her question. ‘If Andrew were to survive this event and I have to say again that I don’t think it’s at all likely, then I believe he’d be severely brain damaged. He has massive head injuries, he was deprived of oxygen at the scene of the accident and there has been no response whatsoever to our vigorous resuscitation.’
‘So what now?’ She stared almost defiantly at him. ‘What am I supposed to do now?’
‘Would you like to see him?’ Bella said gently, and Heath gave a small nod to show he thought it was a good idea.
‘Please,’ Kathryn agreed, but Andrew’s parents shook their heads, sobbing helplessly as Bella stood up.
‘I’ll let the staff know that you’re coming and I’ll be back for you.’
There wasn’t much that could be done in the short space of time to make Andrew look better, a blanket placed over his body to cover some of the injuries and mess, but it wasn’t about making the moment more palatable, it was about giving Kathryn the opportunity to somehow process how seriously injured her husband was, to show that despite the fiercest of efforts there really had been no response.
‘He’s gone, isn’t he?’ Bella held on to the shaking woman as she stroked her husband’s head, most of the staff standing respectfully back, except for the anaesthetist who ventilated him and Jayne who was still giving the massage, tears in her eyes, because even if emergency hardened you, even if you saw it nearly every working day, no one could fail to be moved at the tragic end to a life. ‘He’s got an organ donation card.’ Kathryn looked up urgently at Heath. ‘He was really adamant about it, said that if he were ever in an accident he wanted to donate his heart.’
‘If we stop the massage,’ Heath explained gently, ‘then Andrew’s heart will stop.’
He didn’t go into details too complicated right now for Kathryn to comprehend, just gently let her know that Andrew wasn’t going to make it upstairs to the intensive care unit.
‘But he really wanted…’ Kathryn started, and Bella felt her crumple beneath her hands, saw Heath’s expression as Jayne stopped the massage under his command and the line on the monitor went flat.
‘Kathryn,’ Bella said firmly, holding the woman’s shoulders, ‘if that’s what Andrew wanted, then there are still ways to respect his wishes. Some organs can be retrieved after death…’ If her words sounded brutal they were needed, painful honesty no worse than the truth now. ‘But we can talk about that later. Right now I think you need to be with Andrew, you need to say goodbye.’
CHAPTER SIX
‘SORRY.’
Heath caught up with her as Bella came out of the staff changing room, pale, slightly red-eyed and emotionally exhausted.
‘I’m so wrapped up in the place, I sometimes forget people actually have a life outside. When you said you were off at four, I thought—’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ Bella shrugged, anxious to get away, to step out into the evening air and drag in a couple of deep cleansing breaths, to get into her car and put as much space as possible between herself and the hospital.
‘But it does,’ Heath persisted. ‘It’s past six. I should have realized that once you went in the interview room, you wouldn’t just be able to walk away, that you’d have to see it through.’
He was trying to say the right thing and only making it worse.
She’d never been a clock-watcher. The fact it had been near the end of her shift had been nothing more than a hastily thought-up excuse so she wouldn’t have to go and face Andrew’s relatives. But more worrying to Bella was the fact she actually wanted to tell Heath how she was feeling. For the first time in years she actually wanted to tell someone just how bad she was really feeling, to open up a touch and let them take the weight for a moment, for someone to understand…
But she couldn’t.
‘Heath.’ She forced a smile, made herself look him in the eye. ‘It’s no big deal.’
‘You didn’t have somewhere you needed to be?’
Bella gave a wry smile. She could hardly tell him she’d had to make a hasty phone call in the changing rooms to tell Detective Miller to send the back-up in the waiting room home and that she’d give him a report tomorrow. When he’d asked if she had any ideas, was any closer to working out who it might be, Bella had deliberately been vague, not quite ready to reveal what she couldn’t quite articulate even to herself.
That she’d already made up her mind.
Already knew who was taking the drugs.
‘Thanks for staying.’ His hand brushed her elbow, a tiny squeeze that was probably just to show he meant it, but Bella felt as if she’d been branded with a hot iron, could feel the heat radiating through her jacket, almost claustrophobic as he stared down at her.
‘Tony.’ As the domestic walked past, glad of the diversion, Bella called out to him. ‘Could you, please, make sure the interview room’s sorted out properly? I’ve had relatives in there this evening, and the bin still hadn’t been emptied or the tissues replaced.’
‘I’m off now.’ Tony gave a nonchalant shrug.
‘Well, can you pass it on to the evening staff, then?’ She sucked in her breath in irritation when he didn’t answer, just ambled away. ‘Tony!’ she called out, but Heath put his hand back on her arm, pulling her back before she went too far.
‘Leave it, Bella. Deal with it tomorrow.’
‘Oh, I’m sure I’ll have to,’ Bella snapped. ‘The place is a dump. I’ve never had to speak to an ancillary staff member like that. Normally they’re falling over themselves to be helpful, especially down in Emergency.’
‘He’s just a kid, twenty at most.’
‘I was two years into my nursing degree at twenty,’ Bella retorted sharply, then bit her tongue, the whole wretched day catching up with her now. ‘Look, I’m just tired, it’s been a long day. You’re right. Now’s not the time to be getting cross over a box of tissues.’
‘You’re OK?’ Heath checked.
‘I’m fine,’ Bella said, hitching her bag a touch higher, trying to wrap up the conversation, to move away, but her legs wouldn’t obey her. In fact, her mouth was working overtime, prolonging a conversation when she should really just get the hell out of there. ‘I’m actually glad in a strange way that I stayed. I know it was the right thing to do.’
‘You were really good with her, I mean really good with her. You seemed to know exactly what to say or, more to the point, what not to say.’
&nb
sp; And if Bella was having her own internal conflict, suddenly Heath was, too.
Staring down at her, her newly brushed blond hair falling in a fluffy cloud around her shoulders, a pale linen jacket over her uniform, massive green eyes on the verge of tears, he wanted to scoop her into his arms. Was hit for the first time in ages with a need that had become unfamiliar.
Not the lust that had forced his attention every now and then since his wife had left, a hunger that was easily satisfied but always left him with a bad taste, but a need to delve deeper, to take this suddenly fragile woman and get to know her, to delve a bit deeper.
‘Bella, are you OK?’
She shook her head, put her hand up between them as he reached out to comfort her, stood there proud and lonely for a painful second before finally she looked at him.
‘Sorry. It’s just…’
‘Just what?’ Heath pushed, but again she shook her head, clearly not ready to reveal whatever it was that was on her mind. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Yes,’ Bella admitted, ‘but I can’t.’
She was making to go, clearly embarrassed at having revealed so little of so much and all he knew was that he didn’t want her to leave, all he knew was that he had to lighten the moment, had to put a trace of a smile on that taut mouth.
‘You owe me a coffee, remember?’ He delivered his line with an easy smile, almost resigned to the fact that she’d toss it straight back, that this chameleon-like, complicated woman would wave his offer away, but he felt his breath catch in his throat when slowly she turned, that deliciously full mouth breaking into the beginning of a smile, couldn’t quite believe it when she teasingly shook her head.
‘I’d say it’s you who owes me, Heath. And a bit more than a coffee. I hear your “internet” lecture went down very well!’
What on earth was she doing?
Watching as Heath ordered drinks at the bar, Bella was tempted to grab her bag and run. How, she tried to fathom, as he made his way over, had that happened? One minute she’d been on the verge of tears, desperate to get in her car and escape, and the next she’d been flirting, flirting with Dr drop-dead, newly divorced, gorgeous Jameson. And not just flirting, but cocking her head in a poor impersonation of Princess Di and demanding not just a coffee but a real drink at a real bar.
A real date, even?
‘Cheers!’ Holding his beer Heath chinked her glass of wine and Bella took a grateful sip, consoling herself that they were in the hospital social club, that surely this was merely overtime, almost convincing herself even that she’d instigated the whole thing solely to investigate things further.
Please!
As his eyes met hers, as a tentative smile escaped from behind her glass, Bella knew the only person she was kidding was herself.
‘I’m a bit rusty.’ Heath put down his glass and gave an apologetic grin. ‘I haven’t done this in a while.’
He must have registered Bella’s slightly raised eyebrow as she put down her own glass.
‘I actually haven’t, contrary to the hospital grapevine, spent the last year working my way through the nursing roster.’
‘The last year?’ Bella checked as if she didn’t already know, trying to blot out what she knew from Detective Miller, trying to block out the whispers she’d heard in the three days she’d been at Melbourne City and judge for herself the man sitting in front of her. ‘So what happened last year?’
‘You don’t miss a trick, do you?’ He gave her a slightly quizzical look, but it was tempered with a smile. ‘Sometimes I feel as if you’ve got a little note-pad in your pocket, it’s like I’m being interviewed or something.’
Bella did her best attempt at a dismissive laugh, cheeks flaming at her near miss. ‘You’re not the only rusty one,’ she shot back, desperate to douse any suspicions he might have. ‘I’m sorry if my bar-side chatter isn’t particularly flowing.’
‘I was joking,’ Heath responded. ‘Although getting to know someone these days does seem rather more complicated.’ He registered her tiny frown. ‘Do you know why most teenagers and twenty-somethings are so good at idle chatter?’
‘No.’
‘Because they haven’t got a load of baggage to get through first. It’s a lot easier to make small talk when there aren’t any skeletons rattling in your closet. By the time you hit my age—thirty-four,’ he added as Bella opened her mouth and snapped it closed again, determined not to render this a full on investigation, ‘there’s generally a few rattling around in there. Bad relationships, messy divorces…’
‘Gay,’ Bella sighed, as Heath laughed. ‘The fish in the sea don’t seem quite so plentiful once you hit thirty.’
‘Well, I’m not gay, that’s one skeleton not rattling in my closet, waiting to get out. I’m actually divorced.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Bella responded, because something in his voice told her it had really hurt.
‘So am I.’ Long fingers were running around the rim of his glass. ‘And before you ask, no, there was no one else involved.’
‘So what happened?’ She gave a tiny wince, aware that she was asking too many questions. ‘I’m just interested.’
She was, and it had nothing to do with a drug investigation!
Heath gave a small shrug, but it wasn’t dismissive. ‘We both wanted the same thing, both adored our children, both liked the nice things in life, and given I was the one working I was the one who had to put in the hours.’
‘Too many?’ Bella suggested gently.
‘Way too many,’ Heath admitted. ‘I had it in my head that once I reached consultant, once I’d finally made it, I’d pick up the ball and run with it, catch up on all that I’d missed out on, but—and this is with two years of hindsight—I realize now I forgot to ask Jackie if she was OK with that. Sav, he was a registrar like me, put in both our applications when a consultant position came up, but instead of going home to celebrate I found out that Jackie was leaving, and not only that—she was taking the kids as well. I fell apart, and Sav got the job.’
‘Dr Ramirez?’ Bella checked.
‘I hated him for a while,’ Heath admitted. ‘Pure jealousy. There was Sav, three beautiful kids, a wife who adored him and the consultant’s position I’d dreamed of for years…’
‘It’s always hard,’ Bella said, ‘seeing people happy when your world is falling apart.’
‘Trouble is, it was Sav that fell apart.’ Picking up his drink, he took a long sip. ‘His youngest son died. The guy was like a zombie, and who can blame him? And what did I do? Instead of supporting him, I used every opportunity to undermine him, to show how wrong they had been not to have chosen me. Pathetic as it sounds, I was jealous that everyone felt sorry for him. The poor guy had lost his child—’
‘So had you.’ Bella broke in, ‘You’d lost your family, Heath, and maybe you deserved a bit of sympathy, too.’
He stared into his glass for the longest time, finally dragging his eyes up to meet hers. ‘I never thought of it like that.’
‘He’s in Spain now isn’t he? One of the girls told me,’ Bella added.
‘His wife had another baby, a little girl. We sorted out our differences. Sav’s a great guy and now I’m trying to get back on track. I went a bit off the rails for a while, too much partying. Figured if they didn’t think I was responsible enough to be a consultant then I’d damn well enjoy myself.’
‘And did you?’
‘Oh, there was the odd highlight.’ He gave a small smile but it failed to meet his eyes. ‘But, no, all in all, it’s been a pretty crappy time.’
‘And what form did this partying take?’ Bella asked, suddenly nervous. She could almost feel his honesty, was sure that what came next would be the truth, and she didn’t want her theory as to who was responsible for the drug thefts to be suddenly blown out of the water, but for more reasons than just her career.
She didn’t want it to be Heath.
‘The usual.’ Heath shrugged.
‘Dri
nking, women…’ she picked up her glass, tried to sound casual. ‘Drugs…’
‘Mum! I didn’t expect to see you tonight!’ Heath grinned, then relented slightly. ‘Yes to the first two, though, believe me, it wasn’t as excessive as you’re imagining, and a resounding no to the third. I’m not that down on myself. How about you?’
‘Ah, I haven’t hit the magical thirties yet.’ Bella smiled. ‘I’m still in the idle chit-chat stage.’
‘Could have fooled me,’ Heath said softly. ‘Something tells me there’s a lot going on there.’
‘Nothing,’ Bella answered brightly. ‘I’m a crushing bore, actually.’ Draining her glass, she went to pick up his, used to picking up her round with her fellow officers. ‘Do you want another one?’
‘Not here.’ Heath rolled his eyes in the general direction of the bar. ‘We’re already the live cabaret. This innocent drink will be all over the hospital by the morning.’
“‘Dr Jameson’s up to his old tricks again.”’
‘Do you want to go somewhere else?’ His voice was light, but Bella could felt the beat of hesitation. ‘We could have dinner, though you’d have to drive, I’m afraid. I haven’t got my car.’
‘You’ve lost your licence?’ Bella asked, shocked that she wasn’t already aware of that and disappointed all at once.
‘You’ve really got me pegged as a no-hoper, haven’t you?’ Heath groaned. ‘No, I actually got driven in at seven a.m. courtesy of flashing blue lights. There was a car crash this morning on the freeway. The hospital rang and the police came and got me.’
‘Oh!’
‘So how about dinner?’
Regretfully, Bella shook her head. ‘How about I give you a lift home?’
She could feel it—feel the tension crackling in the air around them as she drove her very old Fiat through the darkening streets. Everywhere coupledom beckoned, patrons spilling out of cafés onto the pavements, music pounding from bars as they stopped at every single red light, and it would have been the easiest thing in the world to flick on the indicator, to pull over and get out, to share a meal with a man who seemed to be growing more divine by the minute.
Undercover at City Hospital Page 6
