by JL Paul
***
I had calmed down somewhat by the time I got home and managed a cheerful smile for Morgan when she greeted me.
“Where have you been?” she asked, worry on her face. “I called your cell and it went straight to voice mail.”
“It’s probably dead,” I mused as I fished my phone out of my purse. “I should probably charge it more often, huh?”
“Yes,” she said as she cocked her head. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Morg,” I said as I moved past her to get to the kitchen. I fetched a bottle of water out of the fridge. “I got a little drunk last night, crashed on Collin’s couch and then I had lunch at the diner.”
“Oh,” she said, relief in her voice. “You look upset.”
“Not in the least.”
I twisted the cap off the bottle, took a slug, and then replaced the cap. I walked back into the living room, glancing at the television. Morgan had some news program on and I strained to read the ticker on the bottom of the screen. When that no longer amused me, I turned toward the bedrooms, deciding a nap would probably be a good idea.
“You seem agitated, Bailey,” Morgan said as she lingered nervously behind me. “Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”
“Yep,” I said as I trotted down the hall to my room. “Just going to put my phone on the charger and take a little nap.”
“Okay,” she said. I glanced at her over my shoulder. Her sweet face was puckered in concern and it pissed me off. Why should she worry about me– the one who slept with the man she was crushing over – perhaps in love with? I felt like a total slut.
“I’m fine – just hung over and tired,” I said softly. “We’ll grab some movies and Chinese tonight, if you want. Okay?”
Her face brightened. “Sure.”
I entered my bedroom, shut the door, and plugged my phone into the charger. I collapsed to the bed, staring at the ceiling.
I couldn’t fathom Collin’s guilt. So, we had sex – who cared? No one had to know. It obviously hadn't meant much to him and I wouldn’t stalk him and demand that he love me just because we'd hopped in the sack. We both needed to move on and get over it. Maybe Tori would continue to deny him – if she was denying him – and he could hook up with Morgan. They’d be an excellent couple. They were both nice, quiet people. They both had good, decent hearts. Collin didn’t belong with somebody like me. If it were to ever happen, we’d be the couple people passed on the streets and whispered about, asking what’s he doing with her.
I closed my eyes wearily. Yeah, Morgan was more suited to him. And she’d look positively adorable on his arm. They’d make each other deliriously happy, get married, and fill a house full of kids.
Me – I wasn’t the type to marry. I’d just enjoy life and have fun – flit from man to man. No one wanted to settle down with me because no one saw me as that girl. Hell, even Spencer knew better. He wasn’t in the least bit upset that I’d ended it. He knew all along how things would work.
A tear escaped my closed eye and I wiped it away hurriedly – not wanting to take the chance of someone seeing it. It was time to end the self-pity party and take that nap. I was certain that I’d feel like myself when I woke and that was exactly what I wanted. I’d spend the evening with Morgan – possibly Irelyn, too – and forget all about men. Maybe I’d even boycott men for awhile. Nothing wrong with that.
Another idea hit me and I sat up to process it. Maybe I just needed to get away from this place. If I wasn’t around, maybe Collin could get over his guilt trip. Perhaps I’d spend a week at home with Daddy and Steffi instead of just a weekend. Nothing heals a broken heart like a good spoiling by a girl’s daddy.
My phone rang on the nightstand, still plugged into the charger. I groaned and flipped it open, ready to curse whoever insisted on interrupting my nap.
It was Collin.
With a heavy sigh, I answered. “Yes, Collin?”
“Bailey, don’t hang up, okay? Just listen to me,” he pleaded.
Rolling my eyes, I couldn't suppress a smile. “What?”
“I didn’t mean to sound the way I did earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said in a heartbreaking voice, his accent more pronounced. It made my heart ache. I hated feeling this way.
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” I said. “Thanks for calling, though. I’m going to go take a nap.”
“Bailey…”
“No, Collin, just stop. I don’t want to hear another word about it,” I demanded. “I’m thinking about going home for awhile- go see my father. I know you feel pretty shitty about what happened, even if it’s not your fault, and I think it might be better if I’m not hanging around so much.”
“You don’t need to do that,” he said, his voice a whisper. “Don’t avoid me because of what happened.”
“I’m not avoiding anything,” I protested. “I just really want to go home. It’s been awhile and I’d like to see my father.”
“Are you, um, still going to Chicago with us? Er, with Irelyn?”
I snorted. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe I’ll just hang out at my dad’s place and then shoot over there and meet her. My dad only lives an hour from Chicago.”
“That’s two weeks away,” he said. “You're going to stay with your dad for two weeks? What about Morgan and Irelyn?”
I laughed. “They're big girls – they can take care of themselves. Besides, I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I’m just making it up as I go along.”
“Well, um, okay,” he floundered. “I guess I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Sure.”
“I hope you go to Chicago, Bailey. You and Irelyn will have fun,” he said quietly. “Don’t not go because of me and what we did.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,” I said with a grimace. “I gotta go.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks,” I whispered and hung up. I set the phone on the nightstand and curled into a ball. Pushing everything out of my mind, I allowed my body to shut down until I finally dozed.
Chapter 4
I waited a few days before I left for Dad’s. I avoided people as much as possible – and with quite a bit of stealth. I always had something to do so I had an excuse not to hang out and I always answered my phone, making sure to speak personally to people so it didn't seem like I was avoiding everyone.
Maybe I had a future as a spy.
I left Thursday while Morgan was at work, knowing that she intended to drive to her own folks’ place that night and return Friday in time to see the boys play. Her folks only lived about forty-five minutes away but I had a little over two hours to drive. I put the top down and relaxed as the wind whipped my hair and the sun beat down on my head. A burden lifted from my shoulders and for the first time since Friday night, I felt good.
My father lived in an exclusive beach community in a small Indiana town right on the shores of Lake Michigan. You had to have at least a six figure salary to afford a home in my neighborhood and better than that to live right on the beach. My daddy did quite well.
I parked in the drive and hopped out of the car without even opening the door. I knew Daddy was probably at work but I was certain Steffi was lurking about somewhere.
I greeted Tilda, Daddy’s loyal housekeeper, as I entered the house. I kissed her cheek as she squeezed me tightly, informing me that Steffi was on the beach. I thanked her before breezing through the house, kicking off my shoes when I reached the deck that overlooked the lake. I bounded down the steps and to the sand, wincing slightly at the how hot it was.
I spotted Steffi immediately in her modest navy blue bikini. She was sitting in a beach chair, sunglasses shielding her eyes, reading a book. That was the number one reason why I loved Steffi so much more than I could ever imagine loving Stepmother Number One – Steffi didn’t care what others thought of her and had no problem sitting on the beach reading a book. And not some new fad diet book or gossip stories – she read the classics. She loved Dickens and Auste
n and had an extensive library in which she often let me browse.
I plopped in the sand next to her, startling her from her page. “Bailey!” she gasped. “I thought you weren’t coming home until Saturday!”
I shrugged as a grin spread across my face. “I was bored.”
She draped an arm around my shoulder and hugged me. “Good. I’m bored, too. Want to do something?”
I laughed. That was reason number two why I loved her – she was fun and not in the ‘I’m much younger than your father so let’s you and I be best buddies’ way. She was fun because she was mature for her age but not so mature that she couldn’t cut loose once in awhile. She honestly loved my father – not just his money – and he was crazy about her. And we genuinely liked each other – not pretended for my father’s sake.
“Yeah, let’s hit the mall,” I said with a smile. “I need some new clothes or something.”
“Well, let’s go,” she said as she got up and wiped the sand from her legs. I helped her gather her things and carried them to the house. She rinsed off in the beach shower then dashed inside to change. I chatted with Tilda to get all the latest gossip while I waited.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Steffi announced fifteen minutes later. She was beautiful – long, blonde hair, slim figure, soft skin, and pretty eyes. She was taller than me by a few inches but never wore heels.
We took my car and hit our favorite stores immediately. She chattered on about what Daddy was doing and about a wedding they had to attend. She described all the stuffy people that would probably be there and chastised me gently for not going so she had someone to dance with. By the time we hit the shoe stores, she’d run out of gossip.
“Bailey, tell me what’s going on,” she said softly as she tried on a pair of sandals. “I know that’s why you’re here.”
“Nothing is wrong,” I insisted.
“Don’t lie,” she said. “I know better. Usually you’re chatting right along with me, telling me what Irelyn and Lucas are up to or telling me about Spencer. You’re far too quiet.”
Sighing, I dropped the shoes I had tried on back into the box. “I’m not seeing Spencer anymore,” I said. “I broke it off with him - for good this time. I just didn’t like him that way.”
“Well,” she said, looking at me fully with a slight frown. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve been upfront and honest with him the whole time. Is he upset?”
“No,” I said. “He doesn’t seem to be.”
“Does that bug you?” she asked.
“Hm,” I pondered. “Maybe it does. But that’s crazy – I don’t want Spencer to be hurt.”
“Of course you don’t,” she said as she draped an arm around my shoulders. “But us women, well, we like our egos stroked every once in awhile and a boy mourning over us is a huge boost.”
I nodded vaguely.
“It’s not Spencer that’s got you all upset,” she said as she leaned back to study me. “You’re in love, aren’t you?”
Snorting, I turned my head. She laughed and squeezed my shoulders.
“How can you tell?” I finally asked.
“Because you look miserable. Most of the people I know who fall in love for the first time look that way because they don’t know what to do next or they’re afraid their beloved doesn’t feel the same. Which one are you?”
“You are far too perceptive for your own good,” I muttered as I picked up the shoe box and placed it back on the shelf.
“And you’re far too evasive,” she countered. “Just tell me what happened, Bailey.”
Damn tears formed in my eyes. Damn tears that hadn’t really fallen since I was five and my mother died.
“Not here,” I said, shaking my head.
Taking me by my hand as if I was a child, she led me out of the store. We wound up at the food court where she parked me at a table and disappeared. I took that opportunity to compose myself and by the time she returned, I had myself under control.
She slipped me a soda and smiled softly. “Tell me.”
I started out slowly, telling her my revelation by the pool but I was like a snowball rolling down a hill by the time I got to what happened Friday night and then Saturday in the men’s room.
She remained quiet and thoughtful until I finished. She handed me a tissue and I looked at it questionably until I touched my moist cheek.
“Damn. I’m turning into a crybag,” I muttered.
“No, you’re not,” Steffi said. She patted my hand. “You’re in a mess, I’ll agree. I don’t know what to tell you, for once.”
I barked out a laugh. Steffi always had an opinion. “Not much you can say. I just need to get over Collin and get on with my life.”
“I don’t know, Bailey,” she said. “He must like you somewhat if he was willing to sleep with you.” I flashed her a pointed look and she rolled her eyes. “I know some men will sleep with just about anyone but the way you’ve described these boys in the past – I just don’t think Collin would take you to bed like that since you dated his cousin and you are one of his friends.”
I shrugged. “Of course he would take me to bed,” I scoffed. “We were both liquored up and I was all over him.”
“And you love him,” she commiserated.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe I don’t. Maybe I just think I do.”
She shook her head sadly. “I don’t think so. But you are in a rotten place. Your best friend loves him and he’s your ex’s cousin. Yes, I know you and Spencer weren’t serious but still – it’s a tough situation. And then you say Collin likes some other girl?” She snickered then smiled apologetically. “Sorry, but this is worse than the trashy talk shows those snobby broads from your father’s country club watch.”
I snorted then laughed. She was right. I could see us all on a talk show stage, professing our love to each other and each one of us leaving in a crying fit. It was downright pathetic.
“Well, I don’t want to dwell on it. Let’s just hang out for a few days, huh?”
“Sure,” Steffi said. “How about if we hit the spa tomorrow? Massages, facials, manicures….sound good?”
“Excellent,” I smiled.
***
Daddy was over the moon to see me and showered me with affection. He ordered an elaborate spread from my favorite Italian restaurant and had it delivered. We sat around the table eating until we were stuffed.
The conversation was light and fun and for once, all the crap from Dalefield was gone. I was grateful I’d decided to come home for awhile – it was exactly what I'd needed.
“So, pumpkin,” Daddy said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “What are you doing this summer? Anything interesting?”
“No. Just hanging out with friends. But they all have jobs – even Morgan – and I get bored.”
“Maybe you should get a job,” Steffi suggested with a shrug. “Something part-time to give you something to do.”
“I’ve thought about it,” I admitted. “I’ve even considered coming back home for the summer.”
“Now why would you do that?” Daddy asked.
“You don’t want me home?” I demanded.
“Of course I do,” he said with a fond smile. “But I’m really proud that my girl is out on her own.”
“Not really,” I corrected. “You’re paying all my bills.”
“Yes, and I’ll continue to do so until you finish college. I don’t want you worrying about anything but school.”
I shot Steffi a quick look and she smiled.
“A part-time summer job wouldn’t hurt her, Grant,” Steffi said. “She could give it up when school started again. Let her get a taste of the working world.”
After studying me for several minutes, Daddy finally nodded. “Okay, pumpkin, if that’s what you want. But, if you’d rather come home, you have that option, too.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” I said. Home never sounded better.
***
I managed to forget all about
my friends and the mess I’d made as I gave in to massage therapists and facial experts and relaxed. It was wonderful to be pampered and when we left hours later, I was totally loose.
It wasn’t until my phone rang while I was out on the deck with Steffi, enjoying a bottle of wine while we waited for Daddy to get home, that I thought of everything again. I glanced at my ID and groaned.
“Hey, Irelyn,” I said. “What’s up?”
“Where are you?” she demanded. I could hear the din of a crowd in the background and glanced at my watch. She had to be at Rusty’s.
“I’m at my dad’s house,” I said. “Chilling out with the stepmom.”
Grinning, Steffi refilled my glass.
“You didn’t tell us you were leaving early,” Irelyn whined.
“Didn’t know I had to,” I said with a laugh. “Sorry – I guess I should have told someone, huh?”
“Yeah,” she said a little impatiently. “We were worried about you.”
“No need,” I said as I sipped my wine. “I’m just here recharging the batteries and reconnecting with the parental units.” Steffi chortled, hand pressed to her mouth. I winked. “Hey, why don’t you give me the name of the place where this shindig is going to be next Saturday? I’ll look up directions and shoot over there if I’m still hanging around here.”
“Okay,” Irelyn said and gave me the name. “You don’t think you’ll be back this week?”
I heard Lucas and Collin talking in the background and my heart nearly stopped. Morgan giggled at whatever they said and I wondered if Irelyn was speaking the truth – apparently the show went on without me.
“I’m not sure,” I said as I chased away my self-pitying thoughts. Did I really think they wouldn’t play this Friday because I ran off with my tail between my legs? Did I think they’d drop what they were doing and come get me? If I did, I was more pathetic than Dustin thinking he’d win Irelyn from Lucas. “Depends. I haven’t really spent a lot of time here since Christmas. I’ll let you know.”
“Okay,” Irelyn said. “Hey, Luke is getting ready to go on stage so I won’t be able to hear you but I want to tell you something.”
