Vicious Circles

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Vicious Circles Page 13

by JL Paul


  There was no getting around the headache so I decided to just get up and deal with it. Hopefully it would fade to a subtle throb if I got up and moved around a bit. I tossed the blankets back and stumbled to the bathroom.

  I balked at my reflection and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why Collin had chosen to not stay in bed with me. My hair was wild and tangled and just a mess. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy and my face splotchy. I didn’t even want to think about my breath – I could taste it and that was nasty enough.

  I turned on the taps, washed my face, and then dug a comb out of one of the vanity drawers. I had no clue where my clothes were – they were no longer on the bathroom floor. With a shrug, I exited the bathroom through the door that led to the spare bedroom and tiptoed through the living room. I stopped cold when I heard Collin’s voice.

  “..quit making excuses, Tori,” he said, frustrated.

  “I’m not,” Tori whined. “Not at all. It’s just that…well, geez Collin. I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “Well I do,” he said firmly. “I want to know what the deal is.”

  I plastered my back against the wall, hating that I was eavesdropping but unable to stop. It was morbid curiosity – kind of like a car wreck; you didn’t want to look but you couldn’t help yourself.

  “Why is Bailey here, huh?” she demanded. “What’s going on there?”

  “I told you,” he groaned. “She needed me last night and I brought her back here to take care of her.”

  “And yet you claim there’s nothing going on there. That’s the pot calling the kettle black.”

  “When you’re done with the cliché sayings, can we get back to our discussion?” he asked.

  I didn’t want to hear anymore – I’d heard enough. I crept back to the bathroom and paced the small floor. What the hell was Tori doing there and what had I almost interrupted? And did I honestly want to know? It was obvious that he didn’t think there was anything going on between us or else he was too ashamed to admit to Tori about our … whatever kind of thing we had. Or didn’t have.

  I heard a door shut so I hurriedly turned the taps back on – just in time, too.

  “Hey, Bailey,” Collin called from the other side of the door. “You all right in there?”

  “Peachy,” I called over my shoulder, wincing as pain flashed through the front of my brain. “Be out in a second.”

  “Okay. I’ll have the three T’s ready for you,” he said as his footsteps faded away from the door.

  I had no clue what the three T’s were but he had certainly aroused my curiosity. I dried my hands on a towel and made my way to the kitchen. I sank to a chair and Collin grinned as he slid a cup of tea in front of me.

  “Okay, I’ll bite. What are the three T’s?” I asked as I blew the steam off the tea.

  “Tea, toast, and Tylenol,” he shrugged as he buttered the toast that had just popped in the toaster. He set it on a plate and dropped it in front of me. He pointed at a couple of tablets. “Eat your toast then swallow those. Afterwards, if you feel like you can handle it, I’ll make you some eggs or something.”

  “This is fine,” I said. “Thanks. Don’t you have to work?”

  “I took a vacation day.” He held up a hand before I could protest. “I have accumulated a ton of vacation time – I need to burn some of it up.”

  He sat across from me, his eyes searching my face. His scrutiny made me fidget in my chair. I hated that he could see the blotches and the puffy eyes because I hated to cry. And the fact that I’d cried in front of him made me want to hide under my bed like a frightened child.

  “So,” he asked as he twirled a coffee mug on the table between his hands. “Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?”

  I froze, toast halfway to my mouth. “Um, what?”

  “I know about the arguments you had with Morgan and Irelyn,” he admitted. “Lucas told me. But neither one of us knows what these arguments were about.” He smiled sweetly and it swept my heart up in a flittering bundle. “I do have an idea, though.”

  “Do you now,” I said, unable to resist a smile of my own. “Tell me then.”

  “Well,” he drawled as he sipped his coffee. “I think Morgan, being as moral as she is, wasn’t happy with the fake boyfriend bit and went off on you. You, not wanting to argue with her, left and went to see Irelyn. Irelyn was probably pretty much on the same page as Morgan and was upset with you, also, because they both think that Spencer was upset by our little act.” He pushed his mug out of the way and leaned over the table as his smile widened. “How did I do?”

  I picked up the tablets, popped them in my mouth, and washed them down with my cool tea. “Not too bad. But you’re missing a few facts. Pertinent facts.”

  “Oh?” he asked, brow lifted. “Care to share?” He tipped his chair back, considering me as I summoned the nerve I’d need to get through the entire episode.

  “Morgan’s pissed at me because of the boyfriend act,” I started. “But that’s not all.” I pushed the half eaten toast away. “Can I have some coffee? Tea’s not really my thing.”

  “Sure,” Collin said, dropping his chair back to four legs. He got up to fetch a fresh mug from the cabinet and filled it for me. “Anything in it?”

  “No, thanks,” I said, smiling my thanks when he slid the cup to me. I wrapped my hands around it. “Morgan told me that Spencer called her the day after we split. She said Spencer more or less cried on her shoulder.”

  I ducked my head, sipping my coffee.

  “Seriously?” Collin asked in disbelief. “Because, no offense, he just didn’t seem that upset. Luke didn’t think he was, either.”

  “According to Morgan he was and he was just acting like he wasn’t for my benefit. I guess yours, too, if Morgan is right,” I said.

  “So, Morgan is mad at you because Spencer was hurt by your breakup?” Collin asked.

  “Yeah,” I said slowly. “But I think there’s a little more to it than that.”

  “Like what?”

  Loyalty urged me to keep my mouth shut and not betray Morgan. But, on the other hand, I didn’t think it would hurt. Hell, maybe it would help if he knew how Morgan felt. Well, it would help Morgan, possibly. Me, though, it would definitely put me in a bad light. Would Collin think worse of me for sleeping with him while my best friend was in love with him? It was bad enough I’d done it while his cousin was still harboring feelings for me.

  The only thing left to do was to put it all on the table – air the dirty laundry. I’d come clean – sort of. He really didn’t need to know what my feelings for him were. I could keep that little secret to myself for the time being.

  “Irelyn and I both think that Morgan…has…feelings…for you.”

  His jaw fell far enough that it nearly scraped the floor. His eyes bored into mine, incredulity blazing inside his pupils. “No. No way.”

  I lifted a shoulder and turned my head. “It sort of makes sense – if you think about it.”

  “Huh,” Collin said as he ran his hands through his hair. He glanced nervously at me. “I don’t, you know, like her like that. I mean, I think she’s sweet and a great person but I never thought of her that way.”

  Inside my body, my emotions were waging a war. One part of me was mourning for my friend’s lost love but the other part was celebrating. My stomach rolled and I nearly fled to the bathroom.

  “Do you know what I always thought?” Collin continued, still recovering from the bomb I'd dropped. “I always thought she had a thing for Spencer.”

  It was my jaw’s turn to fall. “What?”

  He nodded, a helpless smile flitting across his lips. “Yeah. I caught her staring at him a few times – especially when you and Spence were still together.”

  “Oh, shit,” I muttered. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe that’s why she’s so mad at me for hurting him.”

  “Makes sense,” he agreed. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “No clue
,” I shrugged. “Try to talk to her again.”

  He offered no additional solutions. He stood to refill his coffee cup and brought the pot over to top mine off. “What happened with Irelyn?”

  “That one was really ugly,” I said. “Not pretty at all.”

  “So fess up. Tell me what happened,” he said.

  “She got on me about the boyfriend thing, too,” I said. “A little harder than Morgan because she said not only had I hurt Spence but I'd hurt Morgan, too.”

  “Did you tell either of them that it was my idea?” he asked, a flicker of anger in his eyes. “And that I had a big part in this whole thing?”

  My heart flipped at his chivalry. “Well, I think they blame me most of all because I had the lowdown on people’s feelings and you didn’t. You didn’t know that Morgan had a thing for you.”

  “Still,” he sighed. “It’s not right for them to put this all on your shoulders. It’s as much my fault as yours.”

  “Sweet, Collin, really, but I can handle it. It will all work out somehow.”

  His jaw tightened and his lips clamped together before he nodded. “What did Irelyn have to say?"

  “She just reamed me for the mark on your shoulder,” I said with a grin. “And she sort of figured out what happened between us.”

  He snorted a feeble laugh. “Lucas has been riding me – asking me what happened between the two of us. I didn’t tell him anything but I didn’t have to – he knew. I don’t think he’s said anything to anyone…”

  “He told his suspicions to Irelyn. She told me that.”

  His lips puckered in thought. “Figures he would. Sorry about that,” he said, his eyes grave.

  “Nah, don’t worry about it. When Irelyn asked me about it, it was hard to deny.” I took a long drink of my lukewarm coffee. “She was pissed, of course – especially when she figured out that we’d slept together the night before Steffi’s party.”

  “Who the hell is she to judge?” he asked, anger swiftly sweeping his face. “I mean, who judged her when she was screwing my brother and her boyfriend?”

  I held up a hand to stop his rant, touched that he’d defend me so. “Yeah, I brought that point up, too, and it didn’t go over well.”

  He shook his head in disgust. I didn’t want that, though. I didn’t want him angry at Irelyn for voicing her opinion. I knew Irelyn and I knew we’d talk once she cooled off. Besides, if Collin were to say anything to Irelyn it could possibly lead to an argument between the two brothers. It was horrible enough that there might be bad blood between Collin and his cousin if Spencer were to find out about all this.

  “Collin, don’t get all pissed at Irelyn, okay? She and I will straighten it all out. I said some things and she said some things – it wasn’t just her.”

  “All right,” he agreed reluctantly. “But I’m not liking this, Bailey. Not in the least. They’re supposed to be your friends. Hell, I remember you defending Irelyn when she was still with Dustin and seeing Lucas on the side. She could extend you the same courtesy.”

  “The situations are a little different but I do agree,” I said as I finished my coffee. “But I know Irelyn and I know that she won’t be able to stay mad for long. She’ll think about things and turn up and we’ll talk. It will all work out somehow.”

  “I hope so,” he said.

  “Collin, please, for me, don’t say anything to her or to Lucas. I don’t want you and your brother fighting. Okay?”

  He flashed a crooked smile. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

  I beamed. “What I want are my clothes so you can take me to get my car.”

  His smile morphed into an impish grin. “Maybe I hid them so you had to parade around my house in nothing but a t-shirt.”

  My heart ricocheted off all my other organs and my blood began to boil under my skin so badly I thought bubbles would form on my arms. I lowered my lids and plastered a seductive smile on my lips. “If I wasn’t feeling so horrible, I’d slam you on this table.”

  His grin widened. “Interesting.” Rising out of his chair, he walked around the table to plant a kiss on my forehead. “Your clothes are folded neatly in the bedroom. Go ahead and change and I’ll take you to get your car.”

  ***

  I hated to leave him – his teasing had turned the key and unlocked my desire – hangover or not. But I needed to get home so I could talk to Morgan. I really wanted to settle things with her and I was especially curious to see if she did have feelings for Spencer and not Collin like Irelyn thought.

  I unlocked the door and found her sitting primly on the sofa reading a paperback. She marked her page and set the book aside as I dropped my bag and sank to a chair.

  “Hey, Morg,” I said.

  “Bailey,” she said as if she were the reverend’s wife being forced to greet the town hussy. “Are you all right?”

  “Sure,” I said, waving away her concerns. “Fine. I just went out and got loaded – partied pretty hard. I couldn’t drive so I called Collin to come get me. I figured he was the only one not mad at me.” Her eyes dropped guiltily to the floor. “And he let me crash at his place. But don’t worry – I didn’t sleep with him this time.”

  “Don’t be so crude, Bailey,” she chastised.

  “Tell me, Morgan, exactly why you’re so mad at me,” I challenged. “Why do you care so much if I hurt Spencer?”

  “Because he’s a sweet person,” she said, her eyes avoiding my face. “You didn’t hear him on the phone.”

  “Why didn’t he talk to me about it? Or Collin or Lucas? Why you?”

  “I don’t know,” she said, finally finding my eyes. “I think he’s too proud. He didn’t want the other boys to know how hurt he was.”

  “So, he could have talked to me,” I said. “I’m not a heartless bitch.”

  “He is so crazy about you,” she shouted. “And you threw him away - again. You always do that!”

  “How the hell do you know?” I asked. “Huh? Spencer is the only guy I’ve dated since you and I met! You don’t know how I’ve been in the past.”

  “I know enough,” she said.

  “Oh?” I said, raising a nonchalant brow. “Really? How?”

  “How?” she repeated. “Just listening to you talk. You’re the one who brags about men you’ve been with.”

  Maybe I had told them about a couple of the guys I’d dated in high school but I never thought that I’d bragged. I’d only wanted to impress them, though. They’d both laugh me out of the room if they knew the honest truth – just how many there’d actually been.

  “Are you in love with Collin?” I blurted.

  “Collin?” she asked, blinking rapidly. “No. What gave you that idea?”

  I laughed and drew a dark look from her. “Sorry but Irelyn was under the impression that you were in love with him.”

  “No. Not at all,” she admitted in a small voice.

  “So, it’s Spencer. He’s the one you’re in love with, right?” I asked.

  Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink – one that would make roses jealous. “Maybe.”

  “You’re mad at me because I hurt the man you love,” I concluded. “Makes sense but why the hell didn’t you talk to me about this?”

  “How could I? You were dating him!”

  “I mean afterwards,” I said. “We could have figured this out.”

  “No, we couldn’t. It doesn’t matter, anyway. He doesn’t want me – not after having you.”

  My heart sank to my shoes. How unfair. I'd hurt Spencer and in turn hurt my best friend. Life couldn’t really suck much more at the moment. “Morgan, I…”

  “Oh, save it,” she said. “There’s really not much you can say.”

  “And what was I supposed to do? Huh? If I would have stayed with him to spare his feelings then he wouldn’t have gone out with you, either – because we would have been together,” I tried to explain. “And holy shit, why is he so upset? We weren’t supposed to be serious.”

  “
Well he was,” she defended.

  “That’s not my fault,” I answered. “Not in the least. I can't help the way he feels for me anymore than I can't help that I don’t feel the same way.”

  “I know that,” she said.

  “Then why are we arguing?” I asked.

  She paused like she had to remember what the point of the whole argument was. Her chest heaved as angry breaths shuddered her insides. She swiped at her brow and closed her eyes. “The point is not how you feel about him or whether you should be with him. If you don’t have feelings for him then you did the right thing by breaking up with him.” She opened her eyes and met mine. “But this whole act with Collin upset him – I could tell. And then the hickey…”

  “Bite mark,” I corrected.

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Well, tell me the truth, Bailey – did you sleep with him?”

  I wouldn’t lie. I had to tell her the truth and get it out of the way. There was no way in hell we’d be able to fix our friendship if I lied to her. “Yes, I did.”

  She scowled and flopped back into the sofa. She pinched the bridge of her nose as if stopping it from bleeding. “Does Spencer know?”

  I snorted. “I’d think you’d know that before me.”

  She opened her eyes and glared. “That’s not funny.”

  “Didn’t mean it to be,” I said in a firm voice. “I don’t know if he knows. I just figured if he did, he would have told you. He’s obviously been confiding in you.”

  “He hasn’t mentioned it,” she said.

  “Both me and Collin agreed that he shouldn’t know right now,” I said.

  “I’m not telling him,” she snapped.

  I softened. “You really love him, don’t you?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said and ducked her head. “Not now.”

  I chuckled and gained a confused look from Morgan. “Irelyn thought you were in love with Collin. She even convinced me you were.”

  She straightened as her brows dipped over her eyes. “You thought I was in love with Collin?” I nodded. She scooted to the edge of the sofa as understanding then hurt flamed in her eyes. “And you still slept with him?”

 

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