by H D Forth
I guess I should expect guests today, then. I walked home. Once I’d tuned the AI back on again and ordered a new phone, my old one had been in need of replacement anyway.
Then I went into the bathroom. Taking off my shirt. I might not be sweating or shedding skin in any significant amount, there are still large amounts of dirt that can accumulate on your person, when at work and walking to and from said office.
I wasn't waterproof. That meant I couldn't take a shower. I had to wash with a cloth from the sink, otherwise it was liable to kill me.
I turned to stare at my shower, it was a simple thing, small and compact. There was only a little more space than necessary to turn around in, but it had done its job for seven years running.
Maybe it could do so again…
Someone rang the doorbell.
I pulled my shirt back, pausing to notice a mark just above my right shoulder. I paused briefly to examine it. It was a torn and uneven line that ran in jagged points around my shoulder.
An image of Leric tearing his arm off filled his mind as he saw the scar that was slowly and surely growing on his arm.
I pulled the shirt on, and stepped out of the bathroom. I ran my senses outward, out of the door. It was Emmet on the other side, as expected. I waved idly at the AI, ordering it to let him in with my powers. I walked a quick perimeter of the apartment, patrolling for anything that needed cleaning. There was nothing, everything was as pristine as he had left it.
“Van?” Emmet called. He sounded worried. I stepped out of my bedroom, closing the door behind me. For a moment, I thought Leric had entered my apartment, but no. Emmet was too small, while he did workout, he looked nothing like Leric’s massive frame.
He looked over at me, eyes widening at he caught sight of the room behind me, before I closed the door. “Did you clean?” He asked.
“Not much else to do.” I replied.
Emmet turned to stare at me as I sat down on the couch, reclining myself until I was comfortably supported. I could tell he was expecting something from me, but I continued to sit there.
He frowned. His eyes flickered the TV remote, sitting just within reach. Ahh, he’d expected me to start watching television. It was once one my preferred ways of wasting time, but I couldn't afford to waste time anymore, there was so much to do. So man-
I swallowed and mechanically reached for the remote.
“Can we talk?” I listened to Emmet’s words considering them for a moment.
“It’s why you’re here is it not? You think I’m in trouble and you want to, you need to help me .”
“Its not like that.” Emmet began. I knew however, that it was exactly like that. “Erik called me. He told me that was worried about you, you didn't seem okay. He had been trying to talk to you all day, but you hadn't been responding, not even when it had been lunch time.
I got up from the couch, it suddenly felt uncomfortable to sit in the couch, while Emmet was looming about around me.
Emmet was taller, younger and more successful than I am. On this continent, his darker skin held just enough exotic value to make him alluring to the women, and now he was looming over me. But we were much closer in height now, than we’d ever been as kids.
I could see Emmet frown at me. He swallowed looking slightly nervous, I could already tell what was coming. When he grabbed for em I slapped his hand out of the air.
“Do not try touch em Emmet. You wont like how it feels.” I told him coldy.
Emmet paled visibly. “What happened to you?” He asked. He sounded worried, his voice filled with pity.
My hands all without my permission balled into fists. “Bad things happen.” I told him.
“Is this about your girlfriend?” He asked.
Val? No, but maybe he’s talking about… But he couldn't know about her. I tried to bring up my Foundation, but there was nothing there anymore, it had completely withered away at some point.
“Its not about her.” I replied, my voice a dead monotone.
“What happened, why isn't she here? You obviously need someone to talk to.” Emmet said, instead.
“Its not about her.” I spoke through gritted teeth, anger bubbling up in me, and started pacing the room.
“What happened? Did she leave you?”
I lashed. I didn't even realize that I’d done it, until after I’d finished moving. I had been pacing back and forth between the door to Emmet’s old room and mine, when he spoke.
I was so angry, I had to lash out, I had to hit thing. I clipped the door frame splintering the wood, causing the top of the frame to fall off and land next to me.
“W- w- what happened?” Emmet asked. I could hear the fear in his voice, but also the empathy.
“She’s just like all of them. They look, they search, and they leave. I’d done well for myself, I’d gotten into a nice school, I had the grades. I did everything!” I screamed at him and punched the wall. I felt a dull pain in my hand as the drywall cracked and broke around the hole I’d made.
I was heaving for breath, my eyes fuzzing as my connection with the Nerve Module flickered as power dropped. In two punches I had drained the Power Core down to 80% power. The drain was so enormous that it had to reroute power from other functions, such as the Nerve Module and cameras.
Emmet looked pale and afraid as he stared at the hole I’d left behind.
“She’s just like them. They look, and they search, then they judge, and they leave me.” My voice cracked as I spoke. “They always leave.”
I heard Emmet’s feet slowly approach. Before he could get too close, I made a decision. Not anymore. They would not control me. I could choose my own path. Make it my own.
I got to my feet, I hadn't even noticed when I dropped to my knees. “Not anymore Emmet.” I told him quietly. “I wont let them control me anymore.”
Anger, rage and fury boiled in me. Together they burned away all uncertainty, all fear, all joy and happiness. No one would control me anymore. Especially not pathetic weaklings like her…
Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Three
Val sat down in the chair next to Kani, in her workshop. She looked to be on the edge of tears. “It’s… I don’t know… Val, I like him. I really do, but sometimes…” She started to say. Val reached over and grabbed her hand.
“You don’t have to explain to me,” She started to say, before Kani interrupted her.
“You’re right, I need to tell him.”
"No!" Val said, interrupting the piteous stream of nonsense that was leaving the young girls mouth. "Listen Kani and listen well. What's going to happen if you tell him all this and he starts feeling better. Are you going to be able to go through with it once you alone?" Val already knew the answer. It was visible in the slight shudder and the quivering in Kani's lower lip.
“But, I hurt him…” She said quietly.
"Be that as it may," Val said. She reached out and lifted Kani's face to look at her. "But Kani, that's okay. If I want you to do something, be it have sex with me, helping people or going to see a movie, and you don't want to… Then it's okay to tell me that. In fact, you should tell me if I'm doing something that bothers you, okay? And if I get angry, or mad or any of a hundred other possible reactions."
“You won’t,” She interjected quietly.
"That doesn't matter, but you've given your answer. It does not fall on you to please me, it is not your responsibility. I am not your child nor your pet. If you want to please me, then that's fine. But, if you don't want to, then my reaction is not your responsibility."
Kani sniffed, tears in her eyes, but she nodded. Once, Val let go of her face, she looked down at her feet again.
"It's just." She said. Val knew what she was going to say, or could guess the contents of her next words to a degree, but the girl needed to say them. "Most of the time it's so nice, and whenever you're there, everything feels so right. It's just sometimes when we're alone…" She shuddered another sob-racking through her, "He's so intense. He look
s even more intense than when he was fighting those guys."
So that was what this was really about, Val thought. She’d had her suspicions, but it was good to have them confirmed.
"You're not responsible for his happiness," Val said, making eye contact with Kani. "If he was unable to handle you saying that you'd like some space, then it is not your job to fix it. I know it. I'm pretty sure he knows it. I think maybe, you're the only one that doesn't know it yet."
Val reached out, stroking Kani’s cheek swiping a tear off her face. “It’s going to be okay Kani. Nothing here is so broken that it cannot be repaired.”
Val was angry with Vanys' reaction to the whole situation, but she wasn't mad at him. Val knew what she had been getting into when she teamed up with them, she hadn't known what the issues would be, just that they would be there.
“The only thing that you should do,” Val said, thinking carefully over her words before speaking. “Is sit down and think over your own behavior. Was it something you’re happy with? Was there something that you wanted to change?
"If so, then that is what you should work on. You cannot force Vanys to become a better person, only he can do that. We can help each other, but ultimately it is not your choice how he will act."
Kani was quiet, only letting out the occasional choked sob as she thought over her words. “You’re right.” Kani finally said. “Of course you’re right.”
She reached over to Val, reaching for her shoulders. Val of course accepting the hug, that in the end turned more into a full body embrace as Kani crawled entirely onto her lap. Her face burying itself in the nape of her neck.
She murmured quiet thanks into Val's neck as she hugged her closer. Val simply hugged her back, placing feather-light kisses on her hair as she whispered assurances.
"Though if you feel you really have to do something," Val said. "Then you could get him a gift, for when he has returned and apologized. But it cannot be given until he has apologized."
"Yes," Kani replied into her shoulder. Perhaps she was afraid that Val would make her let go because she seemed to hug her even tighter.
“You’re a wonderful girl,” Val said. “If he cannot figure out how to treat you right, then he doesn't deserve you.”
You have to get through this Vanys, She thought. Failing is not an option, you have to make it through.
Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Four
Val sat down in the chair next to Kani, in her workshop. She looked to be on the edge of tears. “It’s… I don’t know… Val, I like him. I really do, but sometimes…” She started to say. Val reached over and grabbed her hand.
“You don’t have to explain to me,” She started to say, before Kani interrupted her.
“You’re right, I need to tell him.”
“No!” Val said, interrupting piteous stream of nonsense that was leaving the young girls mouth. “Listen Kani and listen well. What’s going to happen if you tell him all this and he starts feeling better. Are you going to be able to go through with it once your alone?” Val already knew the answer. It was visible in the slight shudder and the quivering in Kani’s lower lip.
“But, I hurt him…” She said quietly.
“Be that as it may,” Val said. She reached out and lifted Kani’s face to look at her. “But Kani, that’s okay. If I want you to do something, be it have sex with me, helping people or going to see a movie, and you don’t want to… Then it’s okay to tell me that. In fact you should tell me if I’m doing something that bothers you, okay? And if I get angry, or mad or any of a hundred other possible reactions.”
“You won’t,” She interjected quietly.
“That doesn’t matter, but you’ve given your answer. It does not fall on you to please me, it is not your responsibility. I am not your child, or your pet. If you want to please me, then that’s fine. But, if you don’t want to, then my reaction is not your responsibility.”
Kani sniffed, tears in her eyes, but she nodded. Once, Val let go of her face, she looked down at her feet again.
“It’s just.” She said. Val knew what she was going to say, or could guess the contents of her next words to a degree, but the girl needed to say them. “Most of the time its so nice, and whenever you’re there everything feel so right. It’s just sometimes, when we’re alone…” She shuddered another sob-racking through her, “He’s so intense. He looks even more intense than when he was fighting those guys.”
So that was what this was really about, Val thought. She’d had her suspicions, but it was good to have them confirmed.
“You’re not responsible for his happiness.” Val said, making eye contact with Kani. “If he was unable to handle you saying that you’d like some space, then it is not your job to fix it. I know it. I’m pretty sure he knows it. I think maybe, you’re the only one that doest know it yet.”
Val reached out, stroking Kani’s cheek swiping a tear off her face. “It’s going to be okay Kani. Nothing here is so broken that it cannot be repaired.”
Val was angry with Vanys’ reaction to the whole situation, but she wasn't angry with him. She knew what she had been getting into when she teamed up with them, she hadn’t known what the issues would be, just that they would be there.
“The only thing that you should do,” Val said, thinking carefully over her words before speaking. “Is sit down and think over your own behavior. Was it something you’re happy with? Was there something that you wanted to change?
“If so, then that is what you should work on. You cannot force him to become a better person, only he can do that. We can help each other, but ultimately it is not your choice how he will act.”
Kani was quiet, only letting out the occasional choked sob as she thought over her words. “You’re right.” Kani finally said. “Of course you’re right.”
She reached over to Val, reaching for her shoulders. Val of course accepting the hug, that in the end turned more into a full body embrace as Kani crawled entirely onto her lap. Her face burying itself in the nape of her neck.
She murmured quiet thanks into Val’s neck as she hugged her closer. Val simply hugged her back, placing feather light kisses on her hair as she murmured assurances.
“Though if you feel you really have to do something.” Val said. “Then you could get him a gift, for when he has returned and apologized. But it cannot be given until he has apologized.”
“Yes.” Kani replied into her her shoulder. Perhaps she was afraid that Val would make her let go, because she seemed to hug her even tighter.
“You’re a wonderful girl,” Val said. “If he cannot figure out how to treat you right, then he doesn't deserve you.”
You have to get through this Vanys, She thought. Failing is not an option, you have to make it through.
Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Five
I didn't go to work the next day, nor did I go on patrol. They didn't deserve my attention. My hand throbbed dully, but I would be damned before I turned to Kani for help ever again.
I had just returned from a walk, contemplating my future steps, how I would approach the future. Hero work was fake, there had been no retaliation. I wasn't even sure that the Hero Guild run even knew about him. Bah.
I flung the door open to his apartment, letting it slam into the wall as I stepped through. The force was strong enough to send the door back, closing it after me. If the landlord didn't like it, what could he do about it? I could hardly throw him out.
I chuckled at the idea.
The television was on. I hadn't been on when I left. I reached out with my power, intending to turn it off when I felt something else. It wasn't like anything I had ever sensed before. It was more complex and costly than any electronic before it, even AIs. And it was far, far more powerful.
I sprinted out the door, wanting to catch whatever it was. I stormed down the stairs following the faint traces I could pick out. They were losing me. I landed on the ground and burst into motion.
I rounded a corner and caught just a h
int of a dress and long gray hair. The sight froze me in my steps. It reminded me of Madam Mireaux.
I tried to follow the trail, but my hesitation had cost me, and she, if it really was her, had already left me behind.
Reluctantly, I returned to my quiet apartment, the sound of the television the only audible sound coming from it. I had long since resigned the house AI to irrelevance, I took care of most of the day to day, when I was sitting on the couch.
The TV was running a spot on an Incursion. Some Wild Beast that reminded me of a dog, but slightly different. They called it a wolf, though it was hardly similar to the wolves I could find pictures of on the Web, though most of them had been from before the Wild Surge, not enough horns.
