Then Finn’s arms wrapped around my back, pulling me closer as he deepened the kiss. My hands drifted up and around his shoulders–careful to avoid nudging his bad arm in the process–and I ran my fingers through his long, silky hair that fell nearly to his shoulders since he’d cut it. He tilted his head to kiss me better, and a quiet moan escaped his lips.
Ezra cleared his throat, and Finn and I broke away instantly. He scooted as far away from me as he could, probably trying to give me room to breathe while I looked at Ezra. His face was nearly as red as his hair, and he looked apologetic about interrupting us.
“Sorry, but we’re back.”
He must have been speeding like crazy to get back so soon. How didn’t I notice?
Finn’s chest was heaving with each harsh breath he took, and his cheeks held a bit of a red tinge to them. When he noticed me watching him, he looked away, and refused to meet my eyes. I tried not to let that bother me too much as I climbed out of the car. We’d not only just been in a life and death situation–in which he’d been injured–but I’d also just thrown myself at him in the backseat of a car after refusing his advances for what seemed like so long.
“Guys, I think the Council is going to wanna see us,” Ezra said, looking from me to Finn. “Do you wanna get cleaned up first?”
“No,” Finn said tightly. “Let the three of them see what happened because they forced us to go.”
Chapter Eleven
The Council eyed the three of us for a full minute before speaking, and I knew they were taking in every bruise, bloody cut, and torn piece of clothing. They were trying to piece together the story before we gave it to them, as if getting it right would keep them from having to take any of the blame.
“Let me guess,” Kevin said with a snide smile. “Things went badly?”
Finn shuddered with barely repressed rage, and I put my hand in his to keep him from attacking Kevin and getting himself in trouble. Glaring at Kevin, I frowned. “Don’t you have anything better to do than bait him into attacking you? Clearly things went badly since one of us is covered in blood and the other two are bruised and breathless. You’d know just how badly things went if you were able to get off your ass and do more than just tell others what to do and judge them when they screw up.”
Kevin’s face screwed up into something out of a nightmare, and for the first time since meeting him, he looked like a killer vampire. His eyes blazed red and he bared his fangs in a loud snarl that was meant to strike fear into the heart of anyone that heard him. But for some reason, there was very little fear. I knew that Kevin could probably kill me before I could brace myself, but I also knew that he would most likely never try.
As a necromancer, I had the power over the dead, and the undead. Vampires had to submit to my will if I ordered it, and he was no different. If I ordered him to stake himself, he would have to do it, unless someone could stop me before he went through with the order. So he was trying to intimidate me to keep me thinking that he was the one to be feared, when it was really the other way around.
“Calm yourself!” Marcel snapped at Kevin in an irritated manner. Not for the first time I realized that Marcel did not like his co-councilman and I wondered how often they fought over important matters. “I need to know what happened at the mayor’s office. Veronica, tell us everything, even if you think it has no importance.”
I took a deep breath. “From the moment we set foot in the mayor’s office, he was trying to do the same thing Kevin is,” I said, looking at the vampire that was just now getting control over himself. “He was trying to bait Finn into doing something stupid. Ezra, too. When he saw that it wasn’t going to work, he finally started asking me about everything that’s been going on.”
“What kind of questions did he ask?”
Kevin snorted. “I think the better question would be what did you tell him?”
I narrowed my eyes at Kevin, wishing that he was a bug I could squish under the heel of my shoes. We had enough problems on our plate right now without a rogue councilman that hated everyone else in this compound. “I didn’t tell him anything that he and his sorcerer bodyguard didn’t already know, aside from Tabitha’s name. When he asked about my relationship to Tabitha, I tried to stall and not give out anymore information than I already had. His sorcerer knew that I was lying, and the mayor ordered an attack on us.
“During that attack, I got shot at, and I probably would have died had it not been for Finn and Ezra. After taking care of the sorcerer, Finn shielded me from harm’s way while Ezra dealt with the remaining bodyguards and their guns. If he hadn’t been able to stop the bullets with his powers, we’d probably all be dead right now. Was it worth it?” I asked, looking each Council member in the eye. “Was almost losing three of your subjects worth playing the mayor’s little game?”
“Veronica–”
“You could have just refused to meet with him. If you had, I would never have been interrogated in a back alley. The three of us would never have been shot at, and Finn wouldn’t have gotten hurt. This is the second time he’s been shot trying to protect me, and he’s gotten no thanks from anyone in this compound but me!” I shouted, startling everyone in the room. “Do you care at all for the people you’re supposed to govern, or did you only take this job so you could be in a position of power over everyone else?”
Kevin looked enraged and ready to throw himself over the table so he could rip out my throat. Lisa looked bewildered at my outburst, and just a little sad. But it was Marcel that confused me the most. He calmly met my eyes, and when I looked into them, I was sure I could see understanding and even a bit of pity.
“Veronica, you have only been a part of this world for a few months. I don’t expect you to understand how everything works. Someday perhaps I can sit down with you and give you an explanation, but that will have to wait. Regardless of whether you think so or not, this Council is trying to do what is best for everyone in our world. We have to make the tough calls that nobody else can, and you have to know that. We are not trying to purposely put you and your friends in harms way, but some of these things need to be done.”
“Nothing needs to be done,” I muttered stubbornly, even though I knew otherwise.
Marcel smiled sadly. “Yes, it does. I would like the mayor to be on our side, but he’s on nobody’s side but his own. We have to deal as cautiously with him as possible, and if that means sending you as our ambassador, then so be it. You have to realize that in our world, you can’t just look out for yourself. All of us must think of others, and do what is best for us all. Someday you’ll see the need for these things.”
I sighed, knowing deep down that he was right. This was the real world we lived in, not some made-up fairytale, and despite what many authors would have us think, love wasn’t the most important thing in the world. True love didn’t conquer all, and neither did the good guys. We had to do everything in our power to make sure that we saved as many people as possible, and if the Council had to sacrifice me or Finn for the good of the supernatural world, they would consider it an acceptable loss…and so would any of us.
My life was not worth more than somebody else’s. The Council was trying to save as many people as possible, and I was okay with that. I’d never seen myself as the heroic type before, but I knew that if it was a choice between my life and the lives of everyone else, I would always choose everyone else. That’s the way supernaturals were raised, and even though I wasn’t raised knowing my heritage, I had come to respect it, and the sense of unity that came with it.
As much as I hated to admit it, even to myself, the love I had for Finn was not worth letting the rest of the world be destroyed, and it never could be. Our little community had to always come first, or we wouldn’t last in the long run. The Council knew that, Finn knew that, and I knew that. It was sad but true. That fact didn’t make my feelings for Finn any less real or powerful–there were just more important things in the real world.
“I understand more than
you think I do,” I said, meeting Marcel’s eyes once more. “I just don’t like it.”
“Very few do,” he said gently.
My entire body had begun to ache, and I knew that I needed to crash. So much had happened today, I needed some alone time to just rest and think. Rubbing my eyes, I said, “Will you check out the mayor’s involvement with his sorcerer bodyguard? I want to know why a sorcerer is taking orders from a human. The mayor is dirty, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we found out he had something to do with Tabitha after all.”
Marcel nodded. “We’ll dig as far back into his past as we can. Don’t worry, Veronica. If we find anything on the mayor, I will personally let you know.” He held my gaze for a moment longer, before nodding his head. “Now, how about the three of you go get yourselves cleaned up. Have something to eat. Relax for a bit. We’ll let you know if we need anything else.”
We were being dismissed, which was just as well, seeing as the three of us were exhausted and in good need of a shower and some food. I followed Ezra out the double doors, checking to make sure Finn was right behind me. I didn’t want to risk leaving him behind in the Council room in case he tried to do something stupid to Kevin. We had enough on our plates at the moment without having to worry about being punished by the Council.
“Well, I’m gonna go find Tanya and assure her that I’m alright and still in one piece,” Ezra said, looking at the two of us. His cheeks slowly turned red at the thought of his secret girlfriend, and his eyes flicked back and forth between me and Finn. “Plus, I’m sure you guys could use some time to talk about…things.”
I winced, and hoped that Finn didn’t notice, even though very few things escaped his knowing gaze. When Ezra left the two of us alone in the middle of an empty hallway, I fought the sudden urge to run away and never look back. Thoughts of the desperate, needy kiss I’d forced on Finn in the backseat of the car swirled around my mind. I tried to keep my face from turning red as the feelings of passion came rushing back to me.
“We do need to talk,” Finn said firmly. He gently gripped my wrist in his large hand to keep me from fleeing and never looking back. “Ronnie, I know there are a lot of other important things going on, but this is important, too. Please,” he added quietly when I didn’t say anything.
Sighing, I forced myself to meet Finn’s eyes. “I know we need to talk, but that doesn’t make it any easier to do. Finn, I know–”
“I think I love you,” he said so quietly I would have missed it if I hadn’t been standing so close to him that our bodies were nearly touching. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’ve never really felt this way about a girl before. I’ve pretended to, but this is so different. These feelings are real, Ronnie, and I don’t think they’ll go away.”
“Could you give up other women for me?” The words left my mouth without thinking, and I wished I could take them back. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear Finn’s answer, because I had no idea if his feelings for me were stronger than his natural urges.
The silence stretched out uncomfortably between us, and I felt my lower lip begin to quiver. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “Sometimes I feel so sure that I could. That I could just stop fooling around and be the man you want, but other times just thinking those things scares me, and I find myself looking for someone to take my mind off of you and these…feelings…that I don’t understand.”
He’d finally come out and said it. He admitted that he wasn’t sure if he could give up other women. I kind of figured that would be his answer, and I’d already begun to prepare myself for it. Finn was a player at heart, and no matter how he felt about me, that was never going to pass. He would stay the same, I would stay the same, and neither of us would change any time soon.
“Ronnie, we can still try–”
“No,” I said firmly. “I won’t live every single day wondering if it will be the one that you leave me. If you can’t commit to one woman and one woman only, then I can’t be with you, no matter how badly I want to.” My voice broke toward the end, and Finn reached out to comfort me. I flinched away from his touch, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Ronnie–”
“Finn, I can’t,” I said quietly, shaking my head. “I won’t!” I said more firmly. “I won’t be some girl that gets tossed aside because you’re not sure if you can make a commitment. Either figure out what you want, or don’t speak to me about this again until you do.”
With that, I turned and stormed away, trying to tell myself that I didn’t care if I was breaking his heart. He’s breaking yours as much as you’re breaking his. He obviously cares about you. Maybe you should give him a chance. Who knows, he might surprise you… I shook my head. Finn will never change. He can say he will, but he won’t. You know it, he knows it, and everyone else knows it.
Still, even as I walked away from him, I couldn’t help but feel like I was doing the wrong thing.
*****
“Sit down, Ronnie. We need to talk.”
Tanya was sitting on a small loveseat in one of the compound’s common rooms. She looked even brighter today than she normally did, as she was wearing a pair of bright pink skinny jeans and a rainbow-colored shirt that wouldn’t have worked on any other person. Her waist-length platinum blonde hair was curled today, and she twirled a curl loosely around her finger. She was careful not to crush her pale blue wings, which shimmered with a silvery light.
I sighed. “Can this wait? I’ve had a rough day.”
“When was the last time you didn’t have a rough day?” Holly asked, closing the door behind her. Just like every other time since meeting her, she’d managed to sneak up on me without being seen or heard, thanks to the fact that she was a vampire. “Tanya’s right. We need to have a little chat. So sit down.”
Seeing that I was outnumbered and outmatched, I sat down in a chair with a heavy sigh. “Make it fast. I have things I have to do.”
Tanya started. “We heard about your trip into town to visit the mayor. We heard about what happened while you were there. Why the hell didn’t you take us with you? He had one of his men painfully interrogate you the last time you went, Ronnie! Why did you only take Finn and Ezra with you?”
“If you stop asking me questions, I’ll answer,” I said calmly. I waited until Tanya took a deep breath, hoping it would calm her down and keep her from ranting. “Okay. I don’t know why I didn’t take the two of you with us. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Plus I thought Finn and Ezra both would be enough protection. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry, you guys. I won’t leave you out of the loop again.”
“You’d better not,” Holly said quietly. “We were really worried about you. Marcel told us that Finn had been shot, and the three of you barely got out of there in one piece.”
“We also may or may not have heard about a raw, passionate, deep kiss between you and Finn in the back of the car,” Tanya said, smiling. “So, spill. Tell us exactly what happened between you and Finn, and tell us where you’re taking things next.” I stared at Tanya for a minute, and she shifted nervously under my gaze. “Well, there was a kiss, right?”
“Yeah, there was a kiss. And there won’t ever be another,” I said.
“Why not?” Holly asked. “Finn’s a good looking guy. He obviously loves you, or he wouldn’t keep putting himself in harm’s way for you. Maybe if the two of you just sat down and talked things out–”
“That won’t help,” I interrupted. “Finn and I just talked about our feelings,” I said, sneering at the recent memory. “Finn told me that he thought he loved me, but he wasn’t sure if he could give up other women for me. I told him I didn’t think I could sit around every day wondering if it would be the day he decided to leave me for another woman. He said he thought we could still give it a try, but I refused. So, that’s it. We’re done.”
Tanya snorted. “Sure you are.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, hating the nonchalant attitude she had toward my feelings regard
ing Finn. It was almost like she believed that she knew my true feelings better than I did. “Tanya, I’m not okay with my first real love not being as serious about it as I am. I have a huge problem knowing that Finn is still sleeping with these other girls. In fact, knowing him, he’s probably out looking for Brittney right now.”
Tanya flinched. “Okay, that’s bad. But I think you’re underestimating how much Finn loves you. You’re his first love, too. Ronnie, he’s gotten shot twice to protect you. He fought another werewolf to the death on that rooftop. He broke into Andrew’s home to rescue you when the Council wouldn’t. He’s stood by your side throughout all of your family problems. Ronnie, I think it’s safe to assume that Finn loves you.”
“I know he does. I just don’t think he loves me enough to take a real chance on me.”
Holly and Tanya traded quick glances. “Well, if you really believe that, then there’s no changing your mind,” Holly said, managing to sound wise and bored at the same time. “We’ll just have to wait for you to realize how stupid you’re being right now.”
For some reason, what they were trying to tell me really pissed me off. “You know, I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but you need to stop. I have far more important things to think about right now besides my dwindling relationship with Finn. In case you haven’t heard, my mother visited me one last time, before fading away forever. My mother is gone. I lost her for the second time. Except this time there’s no chance of her ever coming back. And not only am I still dealing with the knowledge that I killed my own father, but I may have to kill my younger sister as well.”
Tanya frowned. “I’m sorry, Ronnie. I wasn’t even thinking about that. Honey, if you ever wanna talk about your mom, you can come find me. Finn isn’t the only one that will listen to you. Or if you wanna talk about Tabitha, I’d listen to that, too.” She looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to open up right here and now. And I was sorely tempted to take her up on her offer.
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