Lily nodded. “That’s fine. But are you sure you want to do this on your day off?”
He smiled at her. “If I don’t help with your roof, Dad’ll try to convince me to join a poker game with his friends. They scalped me last week.”
For a moment, Brianne was surprised at the easy camaraderie Jed seemed to have with Lily. Maybe the two of them should be dating. After all, Lily was in her thirties.
But then Jed’s gaze caught Brianne’s again and tingles rippled up her spine. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable with her, maybe she was trying to deny what she felt around him, because there was an attraction between them.
Every once in a while on Thursday morning Brianne quietly exited the back door of the Victorian to sneak a peek at Jed up on the porch roof. The bright winter sun beat down on him. Although the temperature was below freezing, he was hatless and his thick black hair gleamed. He was wearing a heavy, quilted plaid shirt and an insulated green vest, probably so he could move around easily. His long, jean-clad legs took him back and forth across the roof. He seemed surefooted, but she was afraid he’d fall.
Jed waved to Brianne. She thought she’d been unobtrusive in her comings and goings, but apparently he’d noticed.
“Tell Lily I’m almost finished,” he called. “With the rotten wood replaced and the new shingles covering it, that should take care of the seepage from ice and snow melting. Before I come down, I want to make sure the siding up here doesn’t have any gaps.”
Brianne nodded and returned to the warmth of the kitchen.
At the sink, Lily was arranging cheese on a plate. “I asked him to stay for lunch. It was the least I could do.”
“He said to tell you he’s almost finished.”
Brianne suddenly felt uncomfortable around Lily, as she had when they’d first met. Their friendship had developed slowly. Lily’s invitation to move in with her had seemed like a practical solution for them both. Brianne’s rent money would help Lily with the bills, and Lily and Megan would fill a void in Brianne’s life with her parents gone. Still, she’d been cautious with Lily at first, but now considered her a real friend. Brianne didn’t want to do anything to ruin that friendship. She wasn’t quite sure how to go about posing the questions she wanted to ask.
At her silence, Lily cast her a curious glance. “Is something wrong? Are you uneasy having Jed here for lunch?”
“It’s not that. I…Did you only ask him to thank him for fixing the roof?”
“Why else would I ask him?” Lily looked thoroughly puzzled.
“I thought maybe…you were interested in him.”
Lily stopped arranging cheese slices on the plate. “I’m dating Doug.”
“I know. But that started before Jed arrived, and once he came and after what your mom said yesterday, I thought you might be interested.”
Lily laughed. “You know Mom, Brianne. In her mind I won’t be happy until I have a husband again. She doesn’t understand Doug’s interest in computers, so I think she saw Jed as a better candidate. But that doesn’t mean I do. In fact, Jed Sawyer’s just not my type. Too much like my ex-husband. Part of him is shut tight with a lock and key. Behind that locked door there’s a lot of intensity that I can’t handle—don’t want to handle. Doug is easygoing, doesn’t have a thought he wouldn’t share. Much more beta than alpha, and I like that.”
Brianne already knew how intense Jed could be. Along with that intensity went a deep passion that almost scared her…maybe because she’d never experienced real passion. She’d never experienced being in love with a man, a man who could turn her to mush with a look. But she knew love always seemed to cause pain and if she could prevent herself from falling, she certainly would.
Carefully studying her now, Lily leaned against the counter and eyed her with concern. “Are you interested in Jed?”
She and Lily had had some frank discussions, but this one… “No. I mean…” Brianne sighed. “I don’t want to be. But I feel so alive whenever he’s around. I look at him and my heart races. That never happened with Bobby.” Soon after she’d moved in, she’d told Lily all about Bobby.
“You and Bobby knew each other since you were kids. You were best friends. That’s much different than just letting pheromones take over.”
Brianne found herself smiling. “Is that what’s happening? This is the result of pheromones?”
“I don’t know, but I think you should be careful since Jed’s been married and divorced. Do you know why he and his wife divorced?”
Brianne shook her head. “Do you?”
“No, but I think it’s important for you to know before you decide to get involved. Whatever his marriage was or wasn’t, it helped make him what he is now.”
Brianne knew Lily’s husband had cared more about work than his family, more about success than nurturing intimacy. He’d had affairs, and when Lily had found out, she’d known her marriage was over. Soon after the divorce, her husband had moved to Minneapolis, and now didn’t even contact Megan. It was as if he’d wiped them out of his life.
All of this had made Lily strong. But her marriage had also made her wary of men who didn’t talk easily, or who were too involved with their careers. The failure of her marriage had affected her deeply, and Brianne could see why she thought knowing about Jed’s first marriage—if it was his first marriage—would be important.
Their conversation was interrupted when Megan ran into the kitchen, pulling her pink knit cap onto her head. “I dressed myself.”
Megan had indeed dressed herself. Brianne could tell! Her snow pants were on backward. Her jacket was unzipped, her mittens hanging from the cuffs. Her boots were on the wrong feet.
Brianne could tell Lily was trying not to laugh as she commented, “I told her she could play outside in the snow for a little while before lunch. I guess she got tired of waiting for me to dress her. Come here, honey. You did a great job of dressing yourself, but we just have to make a couple of adjustments. Then you can go out.”
Megan looked up at her mom. “Come out and play with me?”
“Oh, I can’t right now. I’m getting lunch ready. Maybe Brianne will help you roll a snowman or a snow-woman.”
“Sure I will. Let me get my coat and you can show me exactly where you want to put her.”
Fifteen minutes later, Megan giggled as Brianne stuck tree branches in their snow-woman for arms. Megan had set her doll on the Adirondack chair on the back porch so Penelope could watch them play. Now the sound of the little girl’s laughter was infectious, and Brianne felt almost as carefree as a kid again.
Movement by the porch caught her eye and she raised her head. She saw Jed watching Megan, a terrifically sad expression on his face.
Brianne had caught a glimpse of that sadness before. Sometimes when he was treating children, she caught a flash of pain in his eyes. She knew he wouldn’t talk about it. She knew he didn’t want to discuss his past.
When she didn’t look away fast enough, his gaze caught hers. She thought he’d turn away and disappear into the house, but instead he came toward them.
“Want to help?” Megan asked.
His eyes were so gentle as he gazed down on the little girl. “It looks as if it’s almost finished.”
Megan stared at the three balls of snow with the tree branches for arms. “She doesn’t look real.”
Jed laughed. “What do you think we can do about that?”
Megan’s nose crinkled as she thought about it. “She needs a mouth and eyes and a nose.”
“Why don’t you go in and ask your mommy for a carrot and we’ll use that for the nose,” Brianne suggested. “Maybe Jed and I can find some stones for the eyes and mouth.”
“And a scarf,” Megan decided. “She needs clothes.”
Jed murmured, “Can’t have a naked snow-woman.”
Brianne laughed as Megan ran to the porch, plucked Penelope from the chair and vanished inside.
She felt uncomfortable until Jed asked, “Does she take that do
ll everywhere?”
“Anywhere she can,” Brianne answered with a smile.
“Is something about it special?”
He seemed to realize children latched on to specific toys for a reason. “I gave it to her. When I moved here, I had a few unpacked boxes I was going to store. As I was sorting through them, Megan saw Penelope and asked to hold her. It seemed a waste to keep the doll on a shelf or in a box when Megan was so taken with her.”
“Was the doll a favorite keepsake?”
Remembering, Brianne smiled. “I took Penelope everywhere, too. My mom gave her to me when I was four. She’d gone out of town on business, and I missed her terribly. My dad must have told her. When she gave me the doll, she assured me whenever she was away, Penelope would watch over me.”
After a few moments of silence, she changed the subject. “Lily told me you’re staying for lunch.”
“Lily’s bound and determined to pay me back for the repairs. I told her I won’t accept a check, so it looks like lunch is it.”
Silence stretched between them again until Brianne finally broke it. “I’d better look for those stones for Megan. She’ll want to put a smile on this lady before lunch.” Taking off her insulated mittens, she stuffed them into her pocket. That’s when she noticed her bracelet was gone.
“Oh, no.” She fingered her wrist and immediately looked down at the snow-covered ground.
“What’s wrong?”
“I lost my bracelet. It kept catching on the mitten cuff. The clasp must have come open. I’ve been meaning to get a safety put on…”
They both knew looking in the snow for a gold bracelet could be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Still, Jed immediately offered. “I’ll help you look.”
They canvassed the ground around the snow-woman in ever-widening circles, but Brianne had the hopeless feeling that their search was a lost cause. She had to find that bracelet. It was so important to her. It was her last link to her parents.
She wasn’t even aware that tears were running down her cheeks until Jed caught her arm. “Brianne, it’ll be okay. It’s only a piece of jewelry.”
She shook her head vehemently. “You don’t understand. I have to find it. I just have to.”
“All right,” he said, looking puzzled but concerned. “You take the right side of the porch and I’ll take the left. We’ll go over every place you walked.”
She usually checked for the bracelet every once in a while just to make sure it was still there. But in Megan’s excitement over rolling the snow, Brianne had missed its disappearance.
After she’d scanned the ground inch by inch for a while, she caught sight of Jed standing by the porch, no longer looking on the ground.
He’s given up, she thought.
She knew Jed had no idea what that bracelet meant to her. But she’d stay here looking all day if she had to. Maybe if she could borrow a metal detector from someone…
Suddenly Jed crossed to the left corner of the porch steps and stooped by the railing. A moment later, the sun gleamed off something gold in his hand.
Rushing over to him, she took the bracelet in her fingers, and couldn’t help throwing her arms around Jed’s neck and giving him a great big hug. “Thank you so much.”
As he stood there holding her, her heart began racing. She wondered if his was, too, but then he pulled away and looked down at her. “You can thank the noon sun. I decided looking for the sparkle was easier than searching through the snow.”
There was heat in his gaze that could have melted all the snow around them, but then he banked it and pulled farther away.
She dropped her arms from around his neck. The bracelet was clasped tight in her fingers and she opened her hand, looking at it nestled in her palm.
“May I see it?” he asked, gently taking it from her.
She nodded.
He examined the catch on the pliant gold links and then spotted the inscription. Obviously feeling he was invading her privacy, he didn’t read it.
“Someone important gave this to you?”
“My parents. I found it when I was cleaning out Mom’s dresser drawer. It was wrapped and a birthday card was attached. Mom was never a last-minute shopper. She had it ready and waiting for my birthday the following month.”
Turning the bracelet on his hand, she could feel the calluses on his palm and wondered if they’d come from splitting firewood in Alaska, from building his own cabin or from whatever he did when he wasn’t doctoring.
She showed him the inscription. “It says ‘Always believe in tomorrow.’ Just as my dad had his pat phrases, so did my mom. After we saw Annie she told me Always Believe in Tomorrow was a motto to live by.”
All of a sudden Brianne did feel young and inexperienced and embarrassed by her deep feelings for her parents, for everything they had taught her, what all of it had meant to her.
Jed must have seen that. When she ducked her head, he put his thumb under her chin and lifted her face to his. “You had caring parents, Brianne. I understand that’s something you never want to forget. That bracelet is a connection to your childhood and everything good about it.”
Maybe he didn’t want to share his past, but for some unfathomable reason she wanted him to understand hers. “It’s not just that. When I was fourteen, I was doing a family tree project for school and I went through a box of papers in the attic. I discovered I was adopted. I found a P.I.’s report documenting who my mother was and how she died soon after she abandoned me. I confronted my parents with it and after that, I looked at them differently. I shouldn’t have, but I did. It took me awhile to get a grip on all of it. And my relationship with my parents was never exactly the same. We got closer when I postponed college…” She stopped, not wanting to go into that, too. “It took their death,” she continued, “going through all the pictures of our life together, finding this bracelet, for me to understand they were my real parents.”
“That was a lot to handle as a kid. How did you get through it?”
Keeping the explanation simple, she admitted, “I had a good friend. And my parents kept reassuring me they loved me. But I never got the chance to tell them how grateful I was for everything they’d given me…everything they’d done for me.”
In the silence of the sunny afternoon, she could see Jed absorbing everything she’d said. She wasn’t exactly sure why it had seemed important to tell him. Maybe on some level she’d known he would understand.
Finally he confided, “During those long nights in Deep River, I had a lot of time to think. I left here chasing a life I thought I wanted. But I came back out of gratitude. My dad didn’t have it any easier than we did when we were growing up. I thought if I could help him in some way now…But he doesn’t seem to want my help—not financially, not physically, not any other way.”
“Maybe he wants you to be in Sawyer Springs simply because you want to be in Sawyer Springs.”
Jed shook his head. “All my life that was the opposite of what I wanted. I needed to escape from small-town living, small-town gossip, small-town expectations. Now I see life here in a different way. I still don’t know if I’ll stay. Especially if Dad keeps fighting me on everything I want to do for him. But I don’t think of Sawyer Springs in resentful terms as I once did.”
Thankful that Jed had just given her a puzzle piece of his life, too, Brianne was almost afraid to make a comment or ask a question. Before she could figure out what to say next, his face became guarded again and she knew he’d probably regret sharing his feelings with her.
Would she regret sharing hers with him? Sharing brought two people closer. How close did she want to get to her boss—to a man who made her heart leap at the sight of him? She kept reminding herself that loving someone always ended up hurting. Yet she’d seen how her parents had loved each other. She would never find that kind of commitment if she wasn’t open to it.
Fingering the catch of her bracelet, Jed noted, “You’d better not wear this again until you get a safet
y chain put on it and have the clasp tightened.”
They were back to being acquaintances again, and Brianne nodded, accepting Jed’s withdrawal, in turmoil about letting her heart lead her into dangerous waters. “I’d better go in and see what’s keeping Megan. She might be rooting in Lily’s closet for her favorite dress to put on this snowlady.”
“I’ll load those old shingles into the back of Dad’s truck. Tell Lily I’ll be in shortly.”
Then Jed was striding away from her as if they’d never had those moments of closeness.
Closing her fingers over the bracelet, Brianne mounted the steps and went inside.
The smell of the savory, rich soup cooking on the stove drew Jed’s attention as he came in the Victorian’s back door and shrugged off his vest. After he hung it around the back of a carved oak chair, he went to the stove to sniff appreciatively.
His stomach grumbled and he was glad to get his mind on another appetite other than the one Brianne always stirred up. When she’d hugged him, it had taken all his willpower not to pull her snug against him and kiss her even more deeply than he had before. But he wasn’t a teenager with raging hormones. He wasn’t even a young male who put getting physical needs met on a par with other life goals. He knew physical satisfaction carried a high price whether in a marriage or in an affair. After the first few heated encounters had drawn him into a relationship with Caroline and a quick marriage, he’d realized she’d pretended passion. Sex in their marriage had become a ritualistic duty for her, and he’d known it. He’d finally figured out she wanted to mold him into the man she’d wanted him to be, a carbon copy of her father—rich, successful, making friends with all the right people.
Hearing footsteps, he derailed his train of thought.
With a smile Lily swept into the kitchen and came over to the stove. “I think I should at least owe you another meal for your help.”
“Don’t start again, Lily. It felt good to be doing something with my hands.”
“You heal with your hands,” she reminded him.
“You know what I mean. The soup smells good.”
The Most Eligible Doctor Page 6
