“You eat?” Trent asked against my hair.
I nodded.
“I was just on my way in.”
“Oh.” I pulled back. “I’m sorry. You should get something.”
“Where you headed?”
“I gotta go back to my dorm. I, uh, forgot something for my next class.”
“I’ll walk you,” he offered.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“Woman, I’m always hungry. But I’m never so hungry I would pass up a couple minutes with a beautiful blonde.” His eyes looked green today and they crinkled at the corners. His sandy hair flopped over his forehead.
I smiled. “Okay, then. Thanks.”
“I’ll take this,” he said, slipping a hand beneath the strap on my shoulder and relieving me of my bag. “Seems like it’s weighing you down.”
Actually, it was just life, but I didn’t bother to tell him that.
Once my backpack was on his back, Trent draped an arm across my shoulders and tugged me into his side. “Shall we?”
I felt sheltered in his hold. I liked that feeling. I’d felt so exposed these last few weeks, like a sapling in a field without protection from a storm.
Suddenly, I didn’t want to get out of my date with Trent.
Maybe he was exactly what I needed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Braeden
I couldn’t help but stare at the unfolding scene before me.
Ivy was so uptight at lunch I wondered if steam was going to come out of her ears. And there were dark circles beneath her eyes, like she hadn’t been sleeping.
I just wanted her to know I was here. I just wanted…
Hell, I don’t know what I wanted.
I didn’t like seeing her that way.
So I touched her the only way I knew how. I brushed my foot against hers. It was meant to comfort her, to tell her even though I didn’t look at her, the distance between us wasn’t as far as she thought.
It backfired.
She freaked out even more and fled from the table, right into Trent’s waiting arms.
I knew just by his body language he was flirting with her. The set of his shoulders, the way his eyes focused completely on her. She was tense at first.
Until he pulled her into his arms.
Right there.
Right fucking there in front of everyone.
In front of me.
He had no right to touch her.
I waited for her to pull away.
She didn’t.
If anything, she looked relieved, comforted even.
I wanted to be the one to comfort her.
I watched him lead her out of the food court, and the entire time I wondered where they were going. Was he going back to her room with her so they could be alone?
“B.” Romeo’s voice cut into my inner turmoil. There was something in his tone that made me look down. The plastic fork I’d been eating with snapped in half in my hand. The bottom part fell onto my plate while the rest was being held hostage by my fingers.
The prongs were digging into my skin, but I didn’t even feel it.
I dropped it and sat back.
“I have to swing by the library on my way to class,” Rimmel said and started picking up her stuff.
“I’m actually headed in that direction, too,” Missy remarked. “The auditorium.”
“We can walk together,” Rimmel said.
“Leave your stuff, baby. I’ll pick it up.” Romeo motioned at her tray. “Yours too, Missy.”
The girls got up quickly, like they knew Romeo wanted to be alone with me. But it didn’t stop Rim from fitting her small body between Rome and me to hug me. I wrapped an arm around her because brothers didn’t leave their sisters hanging.
“Will you stop by tonight?” she whispered in my ear. “I wanna talk.”
I groaned. Why the hell did women like to talk so much? Talking was overrated.
“Please, B?”
“Of course, tutor girl,” I replied in her ear.
She pecked a kiss on my cheek and pulled back. “Bye.”
“Give me some sugar, woman,” Romeo said.
She laughed and kissed him. He didn’t let her pull away too fast, though.
“I’ll pick you up after class and drive you home before I head out of town,” he told her.
After agreeing, she and Missy left.
Romeo cut right to the chase. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I gasped. “You kiss your momma with that mouth?”
His comeback was quick. “I kiss your momma with this mouth.”
I laughed. If anyone else said that shit about my mom, I’d deck ‘em. But Rome was different.
“Seriously.” He leaned on the table. “Is this about him? Has he called again?”
“No,” I growled. “And he better not.”
“Mom okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine,” I confirmed.
“Then it must be a woman,” he surmised.
“What makes you say that?”
“Maybe the broken fork on your plate? The frustrated way you move? The way your fists clench when anything at all gets under your skin?”
I shoved my hand through my hair and cussed.
“You need to get laid or something?”
I laughed. “If only it was that easy.”
Romeo laughed this time. “B, I know damn well you could have any woman in this place if you just crooked your finger. The fact that you haven’t… Well, that’s very telling.”
“Just say what you wanna say,” I spat. I didn’t have time for his analysis.
“Did you sleep with Ivy?”
“Is it that goddamned obvious?” I groaned.
Romeo slapped me on the back, then crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. “I don’t think so. But I know you very well.”
I grunted.
“When?” he asked.
“Spring break. Our last night.”
That surprised him. I saw it right there in his eyes. “You mean to tell me you ain’t had sex in over two weeks?”
Why was that so hard to believe? “Who said I haven’t?”
He glanced down at the fork on my plate.
“Fuck you.”
Romeo chuckled. “I always wondered when you two would combust.”
“What?” My voice was sharp.
“C’mon, B. You can’t say you never saw it. You two have been at each other’s throats from almost day one. It’s like you live to insult each other. Makes me sorry I was the one that grabbed her that night all those months ago at the bonfire.”
Rage and jealousy hit me so hard and fast there was no controlling it. I leapt out of my seat, sending it clattering to the floor. I grabbed up Romeo by the shirt and pulled him toward me.
He was still in his chair. He didn’t go on the defensive to my threatening moves, but his eyes narrowed.
Whispers rippled through the room, and I was aware of people staring. I didn’t care.
“You sleep with her?” I growled low enough only he could hear.
“You know I didn’t,” he growled back.
“You fucking touched her.”
“Get your hands off me,” Romeo warned, and beneath my hands, his body stiffened.
That alone would have sent most guys pissing in their drawers. But I wasn’t most guys. I knew how tough Romeo was, but I also knew I could take him. I was so pissed off right then I knew I could.
“You wanna do this?” Romeo intoned. “Let’s do it.”
I shoved him away from me and backed up a step. My chest heaved.
Romeo stood. He snagged some kid, a freshman by the looks of him, by his sleeve. “You,” he said gruffly, “clean this up.”
The kid looked at the trays on the table and then back at Romeo.
He nodded. Romeo dug some cash out of his pocket and tossed it on the table. “There’s your tip.”
He dismissed the kid and grabbed up my bag and his. “Outsi
de.”
I went, not because he ordered, but because I needed some air. I was out of control. Fuck, I’d almost just attacked my best friend.
Outside, the sun was shining and the temperature was in the seventies. It was a pretty nice day, but I barely noticed. We walked to a grassy strip alongside the food court, and Romeo tossed our shit down on the ground.
“You wanna hit me, go ahead.” He shoved me.
My teeth clenched.
“C’mon, man. If that’ll make you feel better, do it.”
I thought about it. I felt like punching something. But not him. Not my best friend. You know you had a true friend for life when they were willing to let you use their face as a punching bag.
“Rimmel would kick my ass,” I said, relenting.
“She’s scary,” Romeo agreed.
It was a good joke, but I still wasn’t relaxed enough to laugh.
“I’m sorry,” I spat, pissed at myself. “I shouldn’t have lost it like that in there. On you.”
He shrugged. “I get it. The thought of anyone else touching your girl, especially your best friend, can make a guy crazy.”
“She’s not my girl,” I insisted.
“Could have fooled me.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Missy?” he guessed.
“Are you fucking psychic?”
He laughed. “I was thinking about opening up a hotline. 1-800-I-know-your-business.”
“Maybe you’re the BuzzBoss,” I guessed.
Rome gave me a look.
It wasn’t a confirmation or a denial.
A group of girls walked by and checked out Romeo, and then their eyes slid to me. I ignored them.
“Official or not, she’s your girl,” Romeo said. “You didn’t even give those girls the time of day. That’s the first time I’ve seen that.”
“They weren’t hot,” I muttered.
He laughed. We both knew they were totally hot.
“So what’s up with the tension I felt between you and Missy at the table?”
“I never should have slept with her.” I groaned.
“So she’s still interested.”
“It’s like the chick can’t get the message. I don’t want her,” I replied.
“And that’s why she didn’t hook up with Trent at the beach.”
I made a rude sound. “So now he’s hot for Ivy.”
“I noticed. He asked her out.”
I gave him a level glare. “You sound like a chick passing gossip.”
He shrugged. “Gotta have this conversation sometime. I’m leaving in a couple hours. I can’t leave you here all riled up and no one to bring you down.”
That made me feel like shit. Because it was true. For years, he’s been the one to anchor me. To give me an outlet for all the rage.
“Rim asked me to stop by later,” I told him.
“Rim ain’t your punching bag.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I’d never touch her.”
Romeo sighed. “Look, I know. Sorry.”
I shrugged. “You’re entitled. I did worse a few minutes ago.”
“I didn’t sleep with her. I swear to God.”
“I believe you.”
“We just made out.”
I slashed my hand through the air. “I don’t want to hear it,” I growled. “It’s bad enough Trent’s all over her.”
Romeo’s brows shot up. “He sleeping with her?”
“I’ll fucking kill him.”
“Calm down,” Romeo said. “Chill.”
I paced in the grass, trying to get the image of Trent and Ivy together out of my head.
“I’m having a hard time believing Ivy’s entertaining Trent when you two—”
“We aren’t anything,” I said, cutting him off. “It was just that one time. She insists there’s nothing between us. She doesn’t want to hurt Missy.”
“It’s a tough spot,” Romeo said. “She probably feels guilty as hell.”
I didn’t say anything. I just paced some more.
“And that’s why she’s trying to start something with Trent. To make room for Missy.”
“I tried with Missy,” I confessed. “Last weekend. Hell, it would be so much easier with her.”
“I take it things didn’t go well?”
“Basically, I revved her up, then shut her down. She was pissed, with good reason. And then I ended up outside Ivy’s door.”
“You got it bad, man.” Romeo seemed amused.
“This isn’t funny.”
He sighed. “Look. I’ve been where you are. Not in exactly the same place, but close enough. Rim and I seemed impossible in the beginning too. There was a lot between us, but we made it work.”
“I can’t.” And damned if that didn’t make something inside me hurt.
“Why not?”
I burst around and flung out my arm at the building. “Were you not just up there? I almost pounded my best friend. You know me, Rome. My temper. You know how hot I run. I can’t trust myself with her. What if I—”
Romeo cut me off by shoving me hard.
Then he shoved me again. I stumbled back. “What the—”
“Come on, then,” Romeo yelled. “Hit me!”
“You’re out of your damn mind,” I yelled.
He swung at me. The fucker actually tried to punch me. I ducked and doubled back around. My fists clenched at my sides.
“If you’re so uncontrollable, then go ahead!”
I pulled my arm back. Romeo readied his stance. Just before I delivered a blow, I slumped forward. “I’m not gonna hit you, man.”
Romeo relaxed and clapped me on the back. “I know.”
I gave him and incredulous look. “You know? I could’ve nailed you right in the face, dude.”
He grinned. “You could have. But you didn’t. You’re not as uncontrollable as you think, B. You’re not as dangerous.”
“It only takes one time,” I murmured. “One hit. One moment, and then everything would be gone.”
“So what’re you gonna do, then? Let her go? Sleep around forever? If you’re already hurting this much after two weeks, it’s gonna be worse later. If she’s the one you want, then you have to fight for it.”
“He called, Rome,” I said, my voice breaking a little. “He fucking brought it all back up.”
Romeo followed the change in topic with ease. He knew what was going on. Maybe better than I did.
He stepped close, his voice low. “He doesn’t own you. He never will. If shit’s turned up now, then take the opportunity to bury it. Bury it so deep it won’t matter anymore.”
I nodded.
Romeo caught me in a hug, right there in the open. Two dudes hugging in the grass.
It was like a romance movie no one ever wanted to see.
Someone catcalled at us, and I pulled back to shoot them the finger.
“They’re just jealous of what we have,” Romeo said with a big cheese-eating grin on his face.
“Dude, you are not right.”
“Think about what I said, huh?”
I nodded.
“And I know you got a lot going on.”
I held up my hand, already knowing what he was gonna say. “You know I’ll watch out for her, man.”
“Thanks.” Romeo’s voice was genuine. “If you need anything while I’m gone, call. I might play for the Knights now, but I’ll always be Team Braeden.”
I grabbed my package and gave it a little shake. Romeo looked at me funny. “I’m just checking to make sure I still had this. Making sure all your sappy talk didn’t shrivel it up.”
Romeo roared.
“Better check your shit. I’m not explaining to your girl why you can’t perform in the bedroom all the sudden.”
Romeo grabbed his junk and grunted. “Still fucking huge.”
“Shit, you know my dick is bigger than yours.”
“If that’s what you need to believe,” Romeo said and threw my bag at me. I cau
ght it with no problem.
“I don’t need to believe nothing. I know.”
We walked around the building and onto the sidewalk where people hurried to class.
“I’ll see you Saturday for the scrimmage.” He turned toward the parking lot.
“Don’t worry about Rim. I’ll make sure she’s okay.”
He nodded. “And you are, too. I can live with whatever you decide to do. Just make sure you can also.”
I nodded and he walked away.
I honestly always thought I had it figured out. I knew where my life was going and who I was.
But now I wasn’t so sure.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ivy
After my last class of the day, I went to the room and tucked Prada into an oversized bag. I walked a good ways away from the dorms, away from the main buildings, and into a large grassy area near the indoor football field.
Once we were there, I put Prada in the grass and let her play. I felt bad for keeping her in the room. I did take her out as much as I could, and Rimmel took her to the shelter when she was working.
Sometimes I worried she’d get adopted while she was there with Rim and she wouldn’t come back. I knew I shouldn’t, but I’d grown attached to the puppy. Not like it was hard to do. Seemed like it was easy to get attached to lots of things I shouldn’t these days.
I watched her hop in the grass and chase after a cricket she’d somehow found.
Today had been hard. I couldn’t really put my finger on why, other than the guilt I felt about what I did with Braeden and how Missy was going to feel when she found out.
I knew now that I probably should tell her. I didn’t want to, but that only served as another reason I should. Lies put distance between friends, and I didn’t want that. There was a big chance she’d hate me, and if she did, I was going to have to accept it, because the bottom line was I was the one who messed up.
I was tired of messing up.
I thought Zach had been my wakeup call. And then I slept with Braeden.
Funny how both haunted me but for very different reasons.
I still dreamed about Zach, and they came more frequently lately, which I think was guilt, too. I knew Rimmel said I shouldn’t blame myself for what happened, but part of me always would. Beyond that, I felt guilty on my own behalf. Guilty for what I did to myself when I let him touch me.
Sometimes I still can’t believe I did.
#Selfie Page 16
