“We don’t know that,” she insisted. “Vlad Dracul was supposed to be really powerful, and really old when he died. We have no idea how much power he had.”
I sat up and fixed her with a dull glare.
“You’re actually buying into this bollocks?”
“Oh, what’s bollocks, Jack?” she said. “You’re sitting in the Vatican discussing the resurrection of Dracula with your vampire friend and your werewolf lover.”
I rolled my eyes and stood up.
“I’m sick of hearing that as an excuse,” I said, pacing around the room. “Vampires exist so who knows what else, right?”
“You can’t discount the possibility, Jack.”
“Anna, listen,” I said. “No matter how weird you may be personally,” I paused and gave her a wink, “vampires are natural creatures. There’s no magic here. If Vlad Dracul had cut his heart out he would have died. And even if he hadn’t, when that priest bashed his brains out and burned his body, Dracula died for good. Permanent. Finito. Done, dusted, over, done with, full stop. Case closed.”
“So, what?” said John. “We’re not going?”
“Well of course we’re bloody going, that’s what we’re here for. I just want it understood that this is a wild goose chase, that’s all.”
Anna suddenly laughed, shaking her head.
“Boss, you’re like a big kid sometimes. Why are we even arguing about it if your mind’s made up?”
“I dunno, I just want to be clear. We’re going because that’s what we’re here to do, not because there’s even the remotest possibility that a long dead vampire is gonna come back and start rampaging around.”
“Who is being loud at this ungodly hour?”
We all turned around and stopped. There was dead silence for a few heartbeats.
“Hey, Cam,” I said, finally. “If you were thinking of going outside at all today, might I suggest … clothes?”
The big werewolf scoffed and tossed his head.
“What do I need clothes for?” he growled. “I’m wearing a fur coat.”
“Yes, yes you are,” I conceded. “And yet you are still spectacularly naked.”
Cam shook his head and turned to go back into his room.
“Get dressed,” I yelled after him.
“You’re just jealous,” he said over his shoulder.
“Dude,” I said to the closed door. “Horses would be jealous.”
I turned back to the others, seeing their amused looks.
“What?” I said. “He’s a big old boy, our Cam. Somebody wanna wake Bolt up?”
“I’m awake!” said Bolt, coming out of his room, fully dressed. “What’s happening?”
“Cam just came out here with his family jewels on display,” said John. “Jack got jealous.”
“Of Cam?” said Bolt, fixing me with a sarcastic smile. “I didn’t think that the boss had any worries in that department.”
“Okay, let’s not start that again,” I said.
“It's time for an answer, boss,” said Bolt, taking a seat. “Why do you care what people think of you? In that way, I mean?”
I smiled and shrugged.
“Read your badge, Bolt.”
He frowned and pulled out his leather case, opening it.
“I never could figure out what that meant,” he said.
“They didn’t tell you in basic training?”
He looked at me, thinking for a second.
“Boss, I spent four years in the Afghan army. I slept through most of the basic training here.”
“Maybe you should have checked in once in a while,” I said. “The motto is Greek for ‘Know Thyself’, which is the hunter’s motto.”
“I always wondered about that,” said John.
“Vampires prey on our insecurities and our illusions,” I said. “The strongest, safest defense against vampire mind powers is to be utterly sure of who and what you are. Know Thyself.”
“But what difference does it make?” asked Bolt. “You’re immune to them anyway.”
“Well, I just like to practice what I preach, I guess.”
Bolt thought about that for a second or two and then shrugged.
“They’ll be up in a few minutes,” said Marie, coming back from the phone.
“Then I’d better finish getting dressed,” I said with a yawn.
“Yes,” she replied, eyeing my naked chest. “You’d better. We wouldn’t want anyone getting any ideas.”
“Oh, you told her?” said Anna.
“Of course I told her,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Did I ever apologize for that?” she asked.
I waved a hand dismissively.
“You don’t have to apologize. You meant well, I knew that.”
Marie was giving the two of us a suspicious look.
“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t tell Marie that part. Anna was the one who set us up.”
“Not my finest moment,” she said ruefully. “Matchmaking a militant atheist and a devout Catholic.”
Marie’s eyes narrowed.
“We can talk about it while I dress, if you like, love,” I suggested.
“Yes, I think we will.”
CHAPTER
15
We went back into the bedroom and Marie closed the door behind us.
“Well it’s no wonder you resisted Anna’s attempts to get us together,” she declared, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Anna’s not very good at the matchmaking thing. I think she decided early on that I was too dangerous to be left alone for long and she pretty much set me up with every female that wandered into view.”
Marie smiled and shook her head.
“Bad?”
“Bad. Remember Hydra?”
“Yeah. What about her?”
“Anna even tried to get me a date with her.”
“Isn’t she married?”
“Yep. And her wife is the nicest woman you could ever hope to meet.”
“Anna tried to set you up with a woman who is married … to another woman?” said Marie, her eyes widening. “And that’s why you told me I didn’t have to worry about her, right?”
“Yep,” I said, tugging a t-shirt on. “That little conversation went well. I knew, but Anna didn’t. It was all I could do not to laugh in her face.”
“I really shouldn’t say this because she’s my friend, I love her, and I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt her,” said Marie, “but it’s actually nice to know she’s not good at everything.”
“I don’t know about that. She did match us up, right?”
“I’d decided on you before Anna stepped in,” she said with a mysterious smile. “Does that bother you?”
“Does what bother me?” I asked.
I was hunting for my body armor. It was here somewhere.
“That I came after you? That I decided we were going to be together and hunted you like a good meal?”
“Is that a werewolf saying?” I asked.
Ah, my body armor had been kicked under the bed. I pulled it out and slipped it over my head.
“Answer the question, Jack,” she said. “Does it bother you? Do you feel like I was too aggressive?”
“Not in the slightest,” I said, tightening my armor with the Velcro straps.
“Sure?”
I stopped and met her eyes. She looked small and vulnerable. There was even a touch of fear in her eyes. I placed my hands on her shoulders and smiled.
“No regrets, Marie.”
“None?”
I laughed and shoved her backwards and straddled her hips, my hands on either side of her shoulders.
“None whatsoever. I’ve never been happier. And if it seemed like I wasn’t taking the question seriously, it’s just because I’m so sure of you—of us—that the question doesn’t even make sense for me.”
Her smile was radiant and the kiss she planted on my lips made me regret being dressed.
“You know, you really ha
ve no reason to be jealous of Cam,” she said eventually.
“Oh, please love. I know that. The guy’s nearly two feet taller than me and built like a Challenger tank. I’d be worried if he wasn’t bigger than me.”
“So you’re okay?”
I sat up and placed my hands on her stomach, lightly drumming my fingers.
“Marie, most guys aren’t as obsessed with dick size as women think they are. Guys compete over everything, but that’s just alpha male chest thumping.”
I trailed my fingers over her stomach.
“Now you need to finish getting dressed, too.”
I climbed off of her and picked up my gunbelt.
Still laying on the bed she unbuttoned her shirt—my shirt—and let it fall open.
“Sure you wouldn’t prefer less clothes rather than more?”
She sat up and let the shirt fall from her shoulders.
“Marie, you are insatiable. You’re going to wear me out, you know.”
“It’s going to get worse,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I thought you knew.”
I shook my head.
“Knew what?”
“Jack, we’re into spring, and that means I’m coming into heat. If you think I want it all the time right now, wait a month or two.”
I was stunned. I had never heard of this.
“I’m gonna be more or less permanently turned on, and I’m going to want to jump you pretty much all the time.”
Speechless, I could only look at her and gape.
“You’re going to need to get plenty of sleep, love. I’ll need sex three or four times a day.”
“Are you serious?” I said, finally finding my voice.
She covered he mouth with her hand and giggled.
“Oh, funny. Very, very funny.”
“Jack,” she said, laughing. “You should have seen your face. You looked like you’d just fallen into a vat of beer and you didn’t know whether to swim for it or die trying to drink your way out.”
“You are an evil, devil woman,” I said.
“So you keep saying,” she said.
“In my defense, you are standing there pretty much naked and that always makes it a little difficult for me to think straight.”
She put her hands on her hips and pushed her shoulders back, aggressively thrusting her breasts at me.
“So you can still be distracted by a pair of breasts,” she said.
“Only yours, love.”
“Liar,” she said softly.
“Yeah, maybe, but yours are the only ones I want to touch.”
“I’m getting dressed before you dig yourself in any deeper. We have time for a shower?”
“We can grab one later,” I said. “I doubt we’re going to be rushing off anywhere just yet.”
“You really don’t believe there’s anything to this prophecy?” she asked as she finished dressing.
“Nope,” I said. “But it doesn’t matter. If the Prince of Darkness does appear in a cloud of smoke I’ll be there to kill him just like any other leech. The first thing the king bloodsucker will see after six hundred years laying dead will be the wrong end of a seven six-two round determined to give him permanent sinus trouble.”
“Glad you’re so blasé about it.”
“I’m the Pagan,” I said loftily. “Don’t you read the books? I always win and I always get the girl.”
“Yes you do,” she replied.
“Just don’t expect me to go sharing you with another guy.”
“Actually I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“You are?”
“Yeah, sharing me with another guy, allowing another guy to dominate me, that would be insulting. It would mean you have absolutely no respect for me and that would be bad for us.”
She was looking at me with a defiant look in her eyes. I slipped my arms around her waist and held her tight.
“Then it’s a good job I’m so possessive,” I said. “You’re mine. Nobody else gets to touch you.”
“What about the other way? You, me and another woman?”
“Nope. Quite apart from the fact that you’re almost too much for me to handle all by yourself, I don’t want another woman touching me.”
“Good. I’m glad we think so alike. I keep telling you: we were meant for each other.”
“Yes, so you keep saying,” I said with a smile. “Come on, let’s go see if our guests have arrived.”
CHAPTER
16
We went outside to find that Eva and Jeurgen had, indeed, turned up and, to my delight, they’d brought breakfast with them. Two trolleys stood by the dining room table, leaden down with various enticing items. Cam was leaning against the sofa, the plate in his hand piled high with food, his jaw working industriously. Cam eats more than any person I’ve ever met.
He gave me a nod and a wink as he shoveled another gigantic forkful of bacon into his mouth.
“You leave anything for us?” said Marie.
He shrugged and swallowed.
“You snooze, you lose,” he said.
Eva and Jeurgen were sitting on the couch, studying the text we’d been sent. They glanced up and greeted us briefly before turning back to the screen.
“Food?” I suggested to Marie.
“Certainly. I’m starving.”
We went over and took a look. There was a large dish of bacon—it looked like Cam had taken about half of it—eggs, fried bread, sausages, a big tureen of baked beans, fried tomatoes, mushrooms; basically everything one would need to construct a hearty and artery-clanging full English breakfast. The second trolley held more traditional Continental fare: lightly browned croissants, toast, crusty rolls, and fruit.
I looked from one trolley to the other, trying to decide between cholesterol and fiber. Finally I decided it was going to be a long day. Two minutes saw me with a plate almost as big as Cam’s, heavy with fried goodness, with a crusty roll bulging with bacon in a fair attempt at a big boy special.
I sat down and began to tuck in. Marie sat down next to me, her own heart attack on a plate in her hands. It was nice, I reflected, to be with a woman who didn’t have to worry about her diet. Her high metabolism would burn that lot off within a few hours. There was something off-putting about trying to tuck into a nice steak when your date’s picking at rabbit food.
John was on his cell phone, by the window that looked out over St. Peter’s square, and Anna was nowhere to be seen.
“What are these sausages made of?” said Bolt suspiciously.
“The ones on top are pork, I’m afraid, but if you lift the plate the ones underneath are beef,” said Eva. “Don’t worry, you’re not the first Muslim we’ve entertained, so our chef knows halal. There’s also some chicken in the covered dish and some turkey bacon somewhere.”
“Yeah, I got it thanks,” he said, and then hesitated again.
“It’s okay, the Holy Father gave specific instructions, and none of the food has been blessed in any way,” said Jeurgen. “We didn’t even say grace.”
Bolt smiled and began to help himself.
John finished his call and wandered back over.
“Okay, we’re booked on a flight to Charles de Gaulle Airport this evening and we’re booked into the poshest hotel I could find, under Jack’s rich bastard alias,” he said. “Congratulations Jack, you just became one of the richest vampire supporters in England. We’re booked in as ‘associated staff and assistants’.”
I laughed.
“Nice to be wealthy, I suppose,” I said.
“Yeah, but I don’t think our dear Minister’s gonna be too happy if you melt the credit card.”
“Dammit, I was just thinking how cool I’d look in a Ferrari.”
“Okay,” he said, eyes twinkling. “Roles. Jack is our boss and we all work for him. No change there I suppose. Bolt is in charge of overall security. I’m the driver, Anna’s your personal assistant, Cam is your bodyguard. Eva,
think you can handle legal advisor?”
She nodded.
“Jeurgen, I thought you could be Jack’s weapons specialist.”
“Why does he need a weapons specialist?” asked the young Guardsman.
“Sorry, should have mentioned that. Jack’s cover is a weapons dealer. Very successful, very wealthy, makes obscene amounts of money selling everything lethal to anyone buying. He’s also a vocal—and generous—supporter of the vampire’s cause in England.”
“Okay, I can be weapons specialist,” said Jeurgen.
“And what about me?” asked Marie.
“You are the hot piece of ass I keep around for when I get the urge to play,” I said. “Arm candy.”
Marie fixed me with a pointed look.
“And will I be expected to play that role to the letter?” she asked.
“Yes, absolutely. I expect nothing less than full artistic commitment.”
“Ah well, it’s a difficult role but I’ll do my best.”
“Actually,” said John, “it conceals a useful agenda. Everywhere Jack goes, no matter where, he’ll have Rolling Thunder the Werewolf Wrecking Ball with him, plus his innocent little fuck buddy, which means all three will be immune to the vamp’s mental abilities. A rather useful coincidence, n’est pas?”
“Fuck buddy?” said Marie.
“Sorry, would you prefer ‘piece of fluff’? ‘Bit of spare’? ‘Tottie’?”
“Wow, John,” said Anna, coming back into the room. “You really know how to woo a girl.”
“I’m a fuck buddy, Anna,” said Marie, giving John a dark look.
“Congratulations, dear,” said Anna. “The hours are easy and most of the work is on your back. Jack shouldn’t be too demanding in that area. Half an hour of faking orgasms and the rest of the day’s yours.”
“Great job, John,” I said. “You don’t get to talk anymore.”
There were several laughs from around the room. Marie leaned against my shoulder and shook her head.
“Fuck buddy,” she said in a disgusted tone.
Anna sat down and took a sip from a cup of tea.
“So,” I said. “We hop the flight to Gay Paris, go check out this club and find out what we can about the vamps, right?”
“Right,” said Anna.
Crusader (MPRD Book 2) Page 8
