"No, it’s Mac’s. The Miata is…needs a tune-up." She walked around to the passenger side and unlocked the door for him, after which he grabbed the keys from her hand and proceeded to get behind the wheel, much to her obvious chagrin.
"Not good enough to drive your boyfriend’s car?" He laughed, starting the engine.
Jessica reluctantly got in and crossed her arms. Two minutes and he already had the upper hand.
He stared at her so much as they drove, that Jessica was afraid he’d plow into a parked car.
"You’re different. You’ve…filled out nicely since Amande."
Jessica colored at his bold appraisal of her bosom.
"It’s a compliment, Jessie. You’re more beautiful than ever."
They dined at an out of the way diner in Hollywood, in a small, private alcove Dane had reserved. Next door, a popular dance bar was getting ready to open; it was still early.
He offered her wine, but to his disappointment she requested sparkling water.
She was nervous, but she knew she had to get the ball rolling, tell him what she had to say, and get home. It was 7 p.m., and she had no idea how long this would take.
Jessica took a moment to appreciate him before diving into her difficult speech. He seemed himself, confident, handsome, charming…but somewhat troubled underneath. She wondered if her instincts were wrong, if he really did have something to discuss about his future, or if this really was just another ruse to get her alone with him. She gazed at his tempting features, remembering the night so long ago, in another restaurant, when she’d obsessed over his beautiful eyes. A nostalgic hand tugged at her heart.
"Dane, I need to explain why I gave you a hard time today on the phone." She took a breath. "Since the night of the party, since Mac and I are engaged, things have changed. It is…difficult…for me to see you socially, Dane. You need to understand that my relationship with Mac has changed; the last thing I want to do is create a problem. Don’t you see?"
"I see real clearly, thank you. Shit, I’m surprised he hasn’t locked you in a bell tower somewhere and thrown away the key, especially with a dangerous character like me on the loose."
"You’re missing the point. It’s me that feels the change. He doesn’t restrict what I do. He knows that you and I are friends, and he’s actually been awfully tolerant. But you and I, Dane, things could never be just casual again. Too much has passed between us…too much intensity."
He grabbed her roughly by the wrist and leaned closer to her face. "It’s still there, isn’t it, Jessica? You do still feel it." His grip softened a little, but his eyes were piercing and demanding. "Jess, what I said at the party, it was all bullshit. I lied. I want you to marry him about as much as I want to marry Rita again."
Tears welled in her shocked eyes. She couldn’t believe her ears. "Don’t say this, Dane, please. I love him more than anyone or anything in the world, more than anything I’ve ever loved in my life. And as much as I hate to admit it, you still have the power to hurt me. Please don’t do it."
"So you still care about me."
"Of course, I always will. A lot. There’s no end to the effect you’ve had on me, on my life. I’m forever grateful for having been close to you."
"I don’t want your gratitude. I want your love."
She was silent, staring at him with a mixture of hurt and anger, and a painful kind of love that lived in one corner of her full heart.
She took his hand and uncurled his fingers, sliding her palm across his, feeling the surface with her fingertips. She knew his hands well; they were strong, broad, and always soft, yet tonight she discovered a new row of firm, pink calluses derived from a horse’s reins. Her heart ached. She lifted her eyes back to his.
"You have my love, what there is to give. I don’t mean to hurt you, my darling, but there was a time, not so long ago, when I would have traded my very soul to hear the words you are saying tonight. Nothing meant more to me than you, Dane; and it seems to me we’ve discussed this before. You wanted my body and my soul, but not my heart. But it’s a packaged deal, and you’ve been outbid."
"How, Jess? He’s not like you. He lacks passion! He’s passive, predictable. There’s no challenge to him, is there? No mystery."
"If you mean he doesn’t ravage my soul by dragging it on the end of a chain, you’re right." Her tone was bitter now, anger at Dane welling up inside her; she would not tolerate his criticism of Mac, nor the memories of the heartless way he’d treated her before.
"There’s no need to cut me down." He shook his head softly, a small smile on his lips. And, like his hands, Jessica knew those lips so well, she knew every smile in his repertoire; this one was generated by pain. It was his defense against tears.
He gently pulled her hand to his lips, and kissed it slowly and with great tenderness.
"I guess you’ve told me, huh?" he surrendered against her fingers. The warmth of his breath on her hand touched her, and she turned it to caress his face. He closed his eyes.
"I’m sorry, Dane. Mac and I, we’re forever. Accept it, okay? For me? For yourself, too."
"If you’ll promise to come looking for me when you finally get bored with him."
"Don’t hold your breath."
He sighed and visually tried to put his feelings away, straightening up and clearing his throat. It was several moments before he spoke again. "I don’t suppose you would be interested in reading a script for me? I have a role you’d love."
"Against your lead?"
"No. It’ll be hard enough to juggle the film and my…parenting duties. I’ll only be directing this one. But it’s a great project. You should still read it. I…wouldn’t want what I said tonight to affect your interest or your decision." He paused. "I won’t bother you about this again, Jessica. I had to try, and I needed to know."
"I won’t be doing another film this year, Dane." She spoke quietly, looking at the table.
"Going to play the little housewife? Not your style, sweetie."
"No, you’re right about that. But I’m going to be…busy, nonetheless. Talk to me next spring."
~ * ~
They walked to the car in silence. Jessica checked her watch: 8:55. Dane eyed the Lotus with disdain. "Too slick for me."
"You said the Porsche was back in the shop. Where’s your Mercedes?"
"Toting my spoiled daughters to school and back."
"Oh…" So he had traded the Benz for Alexander. Maybe there was hope for him after all.
"Did you want to drive back?" she asked, unenthused at the prospect.
He fished her keys from his pocket and handed them to her. "Go ahead. I’m not going back."
"What do you mean? How will you get home?"
"Don’t worry your pretty head about me. I’m sure I can find a ride." He grinned at her, and then regarded her thoughtfully. He shoved his hands into his pockets and took a tentative step backward, looking her up and down as she stood next to the car.
"What’s different about you?" he asked suddenly.
"Nothing, of course. Why do you ask?"
"You look…radiant. Of course, my friend Mac would say you always do. But there’s something new…and I don’t buy into this ‘true love’ bullshit either. Could it be the sparkling water?" he teased, referring to her earlier refusal of the wine. Suddenly his expression changed. He stared at her for several moments, until she became uncomfortable and turned to unlock the car.
"I need to get home. I think I drank too much of that water you’re talking about," she explained, absently touching her abdomen as she’d become fond of doing since she’d found out about the baby. She slid behind the wheel and closed the door.
A look of puzzle, then enlightenment, crossed his face.
"Yeah," he replied softly, his face momentarily reflecting the rapid thoughts passing through his mind.
"Look, Jess…" He approached the car and knelt on the ground next to her door. She had never seen him on his knees, and there was a certain satisfaction in
seeing him thus. "If nothing meant anything to you tonight, nothing I said or tried to say in my own asinine way, please remember one thing for me. I know you doubt my sincerity, and with reason. I’ve been…uncool about being honest. But believe this, darling, I am here if you need me, anytime, anywhere. Always. Okay?"
She nodded, again feeling that small tug at her heart.
"Be happy, sweetie." And in his eyes, she wondered if she saw something new, some resolution not there before.
Grimacing at the sight of Mac’s Ford in the garage, Jessica parked the Lotus at 9:15. She started to walk to the house, but heard activity in the pool and cut through the breezeway to the backyard.
Mac was swimming laps, his smooth stroke almost silent as his arms sliced the water. The June night was warm and still, and the garden lights cast a dreamlike glow on the pool deck; crickets chirped in the surrounding darkness.
She walked to the deck and dropped her purse and keys on the glass table. The sound made him turn and he swam to the pool edge near where she stood, again kicking off her shoes.
"Hi," she said softly.
"Hi." He folded his arms on the deck, staring up at her, his face unreadable and dripping.
"You’re early," she said.
"You’re late." Despite the implied accusation, his voice was level and non-threatening.
She sat down at the edge of the pool, relieved to be home and away from the ordeal with Dane. She leaned forward slightly, hoping to gain a kiss from Mac.
Instead, Mac eyed her thoughtfully, conflict evidenced on his face. "So. How is the captivating Dane Pierce this evening?"
The bitterness in his voice made her start, her face suddenly flushing with heat. Thunderstruck, she didn’t respond; she knew from his expression that her silence confirmed his assumption.
Unconsciously, she drew in her bottom lip and bit it, her mind awash with confusion over his unmistakable hostility. She watched with trepidation as he hoisted himself out of the pool, showering water onto the deck and grabbing a towel from the nearby table.
Hastily she got to her feet, her entire demeanor now drastically altered by his disposition. He blotted his face dry then draped the towel around his neck, peering at her, searching her eyes for the answer to a question he hadn’t yet posed. Jessica returned his look with artificial confidence. She cleared her throat. "The premiere is set for December."
He ignored what he must have considered to be her insignificant comment. "How long before this is over, Jessica? When can I stop wondering?"
"I don’t know what you mean." She took a tiny step backward, distracted and unaware of her own movements.
"Of course you do. Let’s see, how did it go tonight? He doesn’t want you to marry me, right? We’re not right for each other…or maybe, the marriage doesn’t even matter. Maybe it would be more interesting for him to be ‘the other man’ this time."
"No! Stop!" She shook her head in amazement, then turned to the table and picked up her keys. Her encounter with Dane had already left her weakened and grieving; she couldn’t weather an argument with Mac. I’ve got to get out of here; I’ll talk to him when he’s calm.
She started to walk away, her head down, the keys biting into her soft palm as she gripped them in a painful retreat.
"Don’t wanna fight with me, Jess? Afraid I might cuff you one on the cheek? A little unpleasantness and you turn tail. Wesley’s gone, Jessica. It’s just you and me now."
His words stopped her cold, frozen throughout. She felt him grasp her arm and turn her briskly around to face him, felt him take the keys from her hand.
"You won’t be needing these," he said in a low, clear voice, tossing the keys into the pool before her astonished eyes. A new side of Mac. The man she would marry.
Mac walked a step or two away, then turned to face her again. She knew her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but she held her gaze on his, waiting for his next words.
He extended his hands toward her, beckoning mockingly with his fingers. "Fight with me, Jess, c’mon. I’m ready. I’m as mad as hell. Don’t walk away leaving me to believe you still want Pierce…"
"No!"
"He snaps his fingers and you jump in your car, no, into my God-damned car, and run off to be with him. He wants you now, doesn’t he? More than ever. You couldn’t see it, could you, his feeding you that crock of lies at the party."
"Why are you saying these things?" She finally found a voice, finally began to overcome the fear of defending herself. Mac was furious; but his hands were at his sides, not balled into fists. "It wasn’t so terrible, having dinner with Dane! I called you--"
"You called when you knew I’d be out. Do you trust me so little that you were afraid to tell me yourself? Even your message smacked of misguided deceit: having dinner with ‘a friend’. Now who the hell could your nameless ‘friend’ be? Give me a break."
The night seemed to grow warmer instead of cooling off. His eyes were dark with fury and his voice as cold and treacherous as black ice on a wintry road. Jessica struggled to put her thoughts in order, painfully piecing together what she needed to say to turn Mac around.
"Okay," she began, her voice small compared with his defiant one. "It’s true. Your presumptions are correct, to a point." Jessica looked away, toward the pool. "Mac, he’s a lonely person. He doesn’t know how to be alone."
"Forgive me if I fail to lend a sympathetic ear." The sarcasm in his words was like acid to her ears. "Jessica, tell me we have something real here; tell me you could be happy never seeing his face again. God! I want to drive over there right now and beat the hell out of him!"
Now she did see fists, tightened in rage, but with rage meant for Dane, not her. "I can’t believe you’re so jealous of him!"
"I guess I forgot to put that on my resume. I have this thing about wanting to keep the woman I love to myself. Sorry."
"It’s not easy to completely turn off a friendship. A…relationship. But it’s over, Mac, you’ve got to believe it."
"Over? Again? I’m having trouble with that. No, I need to see him, I need to make him understand. I want him out of our lives."
"He considers you his friend. He saved your life, remember?"
Mac stopped and stared at her painfully. "And what good is that…without you?"
These last words, spoken softly and straight from his heart, sifted down on her like snowflakes. He lowered his eyes and turned to walk to one of two chaise lounges on the far side of the pool, where he lay down and stared up at the moonless sky, one arm across his forehead in despair.
Swallowing hard, drawing on courage born of her intense love for him, Jessica followed him and sat down on the adjacent lounge. Clasping her trembling hands in her lap, she gazed at him silently, her liquid eyes cherishing their view. She cleared her throat, preparing to say something she hadn’t quite formulated. He pulled his eyes away from the stars and looked at her, expectant, yet guarded with lingering skepticism. Jessica’s heart ached with his pain. She extended her hand to glide over his, resting on his chest, but he did not respond to her touch.
"I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. You are right, I was afraid to tell you I was going to see him. I knew you wouldn’t like it. I just wanted to tell him, once and for all, that there was no reason to pursue me any longer. I told him that you and I were forever, and that he was wasting his time if he thought anything different. It’s the truth, Cory; I only hope you can accept the truth from me now, that you can please trust me again; I’m trying to learn, really."
Her use of his given name always touched him somehow, and he slowly brought his other hand from over his head to rest on hers. Grateful, encouraged by his gesture, her heart lifted and she continued.
"I didn’t tell him about the baby. I knew he would misuse the information…and it really isn’t any of his business." She blinked away the beginnings of new tears. "I won’t be seeing him again." She stared at him solemnly.
Mac lifted his hand slowly to her face, sliding his fingers int
o the hair above her ear and around to cradle her head. Wordlessly, he pulled her toward him, maneuvering her body with his other hand to lie on top of him, his fingers slipping beneath her shirt and up her back. When her face was just before his, he spoke quietly and with conviction.
"I just love you too much, that’s all. Forgive me that, ma petite," he crooned, his warm breath scintillating to her cheek as he spoke. "I know," he continued, both of his hands now delving into the soft flesh between her shoulders, "that Dane Pierce will never totally disappear…and I didn’t really mean that I wanted to do him in." He paused, recalling thoughts Jessica could only guess about.
"All I really want is for us to trust each other, Jessie, that’s what my kind of love is all about. It really wouldn’t matter if Dane Pierce lived next door."
Jessica was overcome by his sincerity. She pressed her lips forcefully to his while grasping his head firmly between her hands. He returned her kiss with renewed fervor, punctuating his declarations physically, before whispering urgently into her ear.
"There isn’t anything in this world I wouldn’t do for you, Jessica. Everything I have is yours to share…but don’t ask me to share you, not with Dane or anyone else. It’s something I could never do."
Jessica had lifted the hurtful veil from his eyes, now filled with devotion and promise; he was asking for her pledge of a future built on trust and fidelity.
"I am entirely and completely yours, Cory, forever…and, you might keep in mind that I feel the same, about sharing you."
Her comment had a definite effect upon him.
"I want you," he said simply, his fingers nimbly working the hooks on her too-tight bra.
"What?" Jessica looked at him in surprise. "Here?"
"Why not?" Deftly sliding her off of him, he quickly dragged the two thick chaise cushions onto the plush grass alongside the pool deck, then pulled her by the wrist to stand before him while he hurriedly unbuttoned her shirt and jeans. Now unzipping her pants, he slid his fingers into them and she stiffened with anticipation as he treated himself to the feel of her smooth flesh. Soon she was aching for him, and she insisted he lie down with her on the cushions. They tossed aside the rest of their clothing and embraced each other fervently.
Starcrossed Hearts Page 25
