“You guys seem super close. Like…romantically close,” Sam remarked, her eyes sparkling with mirth. “Are you together?”
“No,” I responded, perhaps a little too quickly. I looked out the screen door, catching him throw back his head in laughter at something Gordon had said. “It’s not like that.”
“What’s it like then? Clearly he’s into you. I don’t think he’s stopped watching you once today,” Sam commented. “Are you not into him?” she added, as if the idea was so farfetched she couldn’t comprehend it.
“We’re into each other, I guess,” I responded, surprising myself by answering her rather intrusive question. For whatever reason, I felt relaxed around Sam. I knew she wasn’t asking maliciously, she was just curious. “But there are a lot of things at play…he’s, well. A celebrity. I’m a private person, and a single mom. I don’t know…it’s complicated.”
“Minor details,” Sam said dismissively, waving her hand. “All couples have their issues, things that make it hard for them to just be together. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t. Look at Jack and Rose from the Titanic, I mean, she was a wealthy engaged woman and he was a penniless artist.”
“Didn’t he die at the end?”
“We all die at the end,” Sam responded, shrugging. She gave me another one of her half smiles. “That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t live in the meantime.”
Travis
Becky leaned against her car, waiting for Aiden to finish changing from his damp clothes. She still kept to herself at social functions, like she’d done in high school. She preferred to think of herself as the wallflower, someone that faded easily into the background.
She didn’t know that she was the focal piece.
With Becky, what you got was what you saw…and I loved what I saw. She didn’t need to wear makeup, her dark lashes framed azure eyes that made me think of summer skies. Her body had me going for days—slender hips, and supple breasts that spilled over my palms when I’d held them.
She wore form fitting clothes, but didn’t skank it up. She wore things that were comfortable and functional. She was a breath of fresh air.
Becky had changed into a pair of denim jeans that clung to her in all the right places. She held a sweater in her arms, anticipating the temperature drop. Catching movement in my peripheral, I watched as Aiden raced down to his mom.
She opened the rear passenger door for him, and he hopped in without complaint.
“Let’s try and take as few vehicles as we can since parking will be ridiculous as always,” Tessa suggested. Sensing an opportunity, I took it.
I strolled over to Becky’s car, opened the passenger door and leaned in. “Mind if I bum a ride off you?” I asked, grinning. “I don’t want to unhook the trailer.”
“I guess so…” Becky frowned, looking over her shoulder at Aiden, who was pulling the seatbelt strap over his chest and buckling it in.
“I’ll be on my best behaviour, Scouts honour,” I assured her, sliding in.
“You were never a Scout,” she pointed out, her lips twitching with amusement. “Do you even know the oath?”
“Sure I do!” I laughed. I had no fucking clue what the oath was.
Still laughing, my eyes locked on Becky’s. The smile on her face made my heart jump.
She turned on the stereo and Autumn Fields pumped through the speakers. I arched a brow, a little surprised. “I didn’t know you liked Autumn Fields.”
“Yeah,” she flushed, changing it to a country station on the radio. “I like a lot of different genres.”
I turned it back to the Autumn Fields CD, flashing a playful grin at her. “You don’t have to listen to country just because I’m in the car. I like Autumn Fields too. They are a talented group of people.”
She smiled, still a little uncomfortable. My fingers tapped along to the beat, and when I started singing—she laughed and relaxed some more.
When we pulled into the parking lot twenty minutes later, Becky’s easy smile faded as she searched for a spot amid all the cars and trucks. She finally found one at the edge of the fairgrounds.
We barely made it onto the midway when a group of women in their early twenties swarmed us, asking me to sign tits and other various body parts that shouldn’t be on display with a seven-year-old present.
I used to love every aspect of being a celebrity. I loved that people recognized me, I loved that they loved my songs. I loved that they were interested in the things I had to say.
Hell, I loved signing tits.
But then, the rose coloured glasses came off and I realized how intrusive it is, having paparazzi snap pictures of you and people swarm you when you’re doing regular things like grocery shopping or going to a county fair, and the appeal of signing boobs wore off pretty quick too.
“Whoa!” Aiden exclaimed, his eyes widening at the attention I was receiving.
“Come on Aiden,” Becky said, grabbing his hand and tugging him away from the small crowd.
“I’ll just be a minute,” I called out, feeling helpless. I shouldn’t have told Rob to take the night off.
“Take your time,” she frowned, making her way over to our group.
I pasted a smile on for the photos, all the while thinking about the situation with Becky. Her words and mine rang around in my head like a bell in a cathedral all afternoon long.
“Thanks so much, Travis!”
“Here’s my number, call me if you wanna hook up,” one of the girls said, handing me a slip of paper with a sultry flourish.
“Thanks,” I said, breaking free finally and heading toward my friends. I threw the piece of paper into a nearby garbage can.
My friends had set up and spread out on blankets, sitting in clusters. Brock, Tessa, Braden and Elle sat on one blanket, while Tommy, Gordon, and their dates sat on another. Braden’s friends, Ezra and Peter, sat with Krista, Grady and Paige.
I dropped down beside Aiden and Becky. I felt her eyes on me, could practically hear the wheels turning in her head. There was plenty of space for me to insert myself wherever, and I knew she was worrying about what her brothers would think, but I didn’t see an issue.
Nobody seemed to be paying us any mind, coupled off as they were. Elle and Braden were busy with their own tug-of-war. If anyone asked, I’d tell them the truth; I was hanging out with a friend and her son.
While I desperately wanted to finish the conversation we’d started earlier, I knew it wasn’t a good time. Instead, I focused my attention on Aiden.
He was a pretty fantastic kid—quick wit, great sense of humour, smarter than me for sure. I’d had a lot of fun hanging out with him and getting to know him. It was really the first time I’d had the opportunity to do so. He loved soccer and Pokemon, two things I’d been nuts about as a kid.
“You have over a thousand cards?” Aiden repeated, his eyes wide with wonder. “I only have two hundred!”
“Yeah man, I collected them for years,” I answered.
“We should have a battle some time, I’m really good at it. Undefeated, right Mom?” he boasted, looking toward his mom for reassurance.
She smiled lightly at him. “Number one,” she said.
Aiden fell silent when the fireworks started. He watched the colours exploding in the sky, completely enchanted, and I was struck with possibility.
For the last four years we’d been sneaking around, fulfilling our arrangement, Becky had never allowed me to hang around her son like this.
This felt real, being here with the two of them. Now that I knew she wanted me, I just had to find out exactly what was holding her back and help her through it.
No big deal, I was up for the challenge.
Aiden fell asleep with his head resting in Becky’s lap and his legs curled beside mine twenty-minutes before the grand finale of the firework show. Her expression was full of unmeasurable love as she gazed down at her son, gently brushing the dark hair from his eyes.
“He’s a great kid, Becs,” I told her, my v
oice thick. “And you’re a great mom.”
“Thanks,” she said, her cheeks flushing slightly. “I should probably get him home.”
“Let him sleep, I’ll carry him for you,” I offered, standing up. I squatted, picking up the sleeping boy like he weighed less than a sack of potatoes. His head lulled against my chest, but he didn’t wake up.
“Are you sure?” she asked, hesitating. I knew she was thinking about how I’d gotten swarmed earlier.
“It’ll be alright. I usually don’t get bugged like that when I’m home. I think they were out-of-towners. Besides, I doubt people would ask me for an autograph if I’m holding a kid,” I replied, winking.
Becky nodded reluctantly and stood up, grabbing the blanket we’d been sitting on and folding it. She carried it under her arm as we weaved our way through the crowds.
Thankfully, people saw the sleeping child in my arms and kept the squealing to a minimal, although I could hear tongues wagging already.
Becky frowned, catching her name among the whispers. She tugged the sweater she was wearing closer to her body and moved quicker. Unlocking the rear passenger door, she held it open. I set Aiden down, looking to Becky for help. I had no younger siblings, no cousins, no nieces or nephews to speak of.
My experience with kids was limited to being one, and that was a long time ago.
I watched while she pulled the seat belt across Aiden’s lap, holding his head in place. “Once he’s out, he would sleep through the apocalypse,” Becky commented, laughing lightly as she gently pressed the door closed.
“That’s a bonus,” I joked, waggling my eyebrows.
She smiled faintly, looking around. People were climbing into their cars, getting ready to leave the fairgrounds. She had parked far enough away from any lamp posts, and the dark provided a shelter from prying eyes.
I took a step closer, leaving less than three inches between the two of us. I brought my hand up to tuck a strand of her thick hair behind her ear. I traced the shell of her ear, and she drew in a shuddering breath. “Let me take you out some time.”
“Travis…” she started.
“I don’t want our arrangement to end, Becs,” I told her. I had so much more to say, but I feared that unloading all of my feelings on to her in that particular moment would just scare her. I worried that she wasn’t ready for those confessions, that she wasn’t ready to hear that I wanted her in every, real sense of the word.
“What’s the point, Travis?” Becky demanded, biting down on her lip and stepping away from my hand. “The bachelorette party is next weekend, and I work every day this week. Between Aiden’s soccer practices and work, there’s no way I’d even be able to get away any time soon.”
“Let’s just do what we’ve always done, make time for each other when we can. If we’re too busy before the wedding, then we’re too busy and we’ll hook up after. Directly after,” I answered, my lips curving up in an enticing smile. I knew when she was close to bending, and Becky was definitely close to bending.
“Okay,” she inhaled. She walked around the length of her car, pausing after opening the door. She hesitated before climbing in, her eyes darting over to me once more before she climbed in her car and drove away.
Becky
Six days after the community bonfire, I was dropping Aiden off at my brother’s so I could go to Toronto for Tessa’s bachelorette party.
“Please call if you need me. I’ll come straight home.”
“We’ve got it handled,” Brock assured me, practically shoving me out of his cabin. I waved at Aiden through the screen door, my heart tightening painfully in my chest with anxiety’s grip.
“Come on, Becs, you’ve already subjected the poor kid to enough of your goodbye kisses,” Braden pointed out from the other side of the screen door with a smirk. “We’ll be fine!”
“I know,” I sighed, shooting him a dirty look. I didn’t expect either of them to understand. Sure, I’d had nights out since having Aiden, but I’d never gone far, and Toronto was far. Or at least…farther than I was used to going.
“It will be fine,” Brock said again, nodding to my car where Katie was patiently waiting for me.
“I’m so ready for this weekend,” Katie sighed when I opened the door and climbed behind the wheel a moment later. “I haven’t had a weekend with the girls since…well, before Alyssa was born,” she laughed, brushing back a strand of dark cooper coloured hair from her face.
“Yeah,” I said absently, pulling away from the cabin. My eyes watched it in the rearview mirror, and I drew in a stabilizing breath.
“Everything okay?” she asked softly, drawing my attention away from the rearview mirror.
A soft sigh escaped my lips, and I turned my head to give my friend a small smile. “I guess I still get a little nervous about leaving Aiden.”
Katie sent me a sympathetic look that told me she understood, and I knew she did. “Tell me about it. I’ve left Alyssa at my parents’ and with my sisters’ a few times for a day or so, and that wasn’t easy. But it’s definitely not easy staying at home every day, either!”
“I would have loved staying home with Aiden,” I commented wistfully. I took a year and a half off of work after he was born, just to recover and settle in, but I studied the whole time. I took some online courses to improve my grades in biology and chemistry so that I could apply to college for the nursing program.
My family helped me get back on my feet, but I had to miss a lot of Aiden’s firsts due to school or work. My top priority was ensuring that I could provide for my son, that he had a roof over his head, food in his belly, and clothes on his back.
That he didn’t have the same childhood I had growing up.
“Maybe you’ll get to stay home the next time around,” Katie said, giving me a hopeful smile.
“Ha,” I laughed dryly, looking at her over the top of my sunglasses.
“I’m serious,” she frowned, shifting so that she was looking directly at me. “I know things with FWB didn’t work out, but you should meet my cousin. I’m telling you I think you guys would hit it off.” As far as Katie knew, I hadn’t seen FWB since I’d called things off.
“No, thank you,” I responded, shaking my head animatedly. “I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but I have no interest in blind dates. Besides…I’m already thinking about dating someone.”
I hadn’t meant to say the last bit out loud, but the secret had been festering and bubbling. The last several times we’d talked, he’d said things and done things that confused my already conflicted heart.
Katie was one of my best friends, and I knew she wouldn’t betray my trust by telling anybody—lest of all my brothers. Now that Travis had animatedly expressed his interest in having more than just the arrangement with me, I needed her to be my sounding board.
For as long as I’d known him, Travis been commitment free. He loved having fun and coming and going as he pleased. I couldn’t help but worry that he would change his mind once he realized he didn’t enjoy being tied down with a girl and a kid who wasn’t even his.
I really wasn’t the kind of person who believed that love healed all. I wanted to be, but in my experience…love—especially romantic love—broke you more than it healed you.
At one point, I truly thought that my love for Richie would save him, that he’d stop doing drugs and get help. But it didn’t, and I almost lost Aiden because of my own inability to walk away.
And here I was, considering doing the same thing again, knowing the chance of it ending and destroying me were higher than the chance we could make it work. The thought was a sobering one that made my blood run cold in my veins.
“Who?” her eyebrows shot up as she appraised me deliberately. “Spill, Becky. We’ve got two and a half hours together in this car, you damn well better believe I will pester you nonstop the whole way if you don’t.”
Wrinkling my nose, I sighed. “Fine. It’s FWB. Are you happy? I caught the feels, but I don’t think I can be with h
im.”
“Why the hell not? Does he have a crooked dick?” Katie asked. I glanced over at her, my jaw slack.
“No, he does not have a crooked dick.” In fact, his dick was damn near perfect. It was thick and long, veins in all the right places, and he sure knew how to use it.
“Then what’s the problem?” she demanded, practically vibrating in her seat with excitement. She was so happy for me. For years, Katie had been trying to nudge me toward the dating scene.
“I have more issues than National Geographic and I know it.”
“So check that shit at the door,” Katie said, waving her hand dismissively.
“You know, it’s really not that easy,” I grumbled. If it were, I’d have already done it.
“Maybe not,” she amended, her smile reserved. “But so long as you’re upfront with those issues, it’ll be fine. Now tell me…who is FWB?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Katie scoffed at me. “I have some theories.” She sat back in her seat, tapping her finger against her chin. “Would you like to hear them?”
“No.”
“At first I thought it was someone you worked with…but that can’t be right. It’s definitely somebody I know,” she continued thoughtfully. “Steve?”
“Winters? No,” I almost laughed. Out of all my brother’s friends, Steve was the enigma. He was a bit of a hermit. I could see why Katie’s first guess was him—we were similar in that regard.
“Could it be…Travis?”
I said nothing, biting my lower lip and stealing a glance at my friend. I hated outright lying to people I cared about, but I didn’t want to confess it out loud either.
“It is Travis!” she exclaimed with excitement. “That explains the night at O’Riley’s. You took off right after he showed up.”
“Yeah, well,” I sighed, my breath escaping in a loud whoosh.
“Travis is FWB?” she repeated, still absorbing that information. “When did it actually start?”
I drew in a deep breath, lifting my right hand off the steering wheel to lift up my water bottle and chug back a sip. My throat felt impossibly dry. “The day after my mom’s funeral.”
Rebel Song: (Rebel Series Book 3) ((Rebel Series)) Page 12
