by K. I. Lynn
Sobs shook her, and I continued on. My hips moved on their own, my brain no longer registering anything, but the fierce pleasure and energy that was boiling inside me until it exploded. I buried my cock all the way in, jerking with each stream.
With the last drop emptied inside her, I fell down onto her back. Our breaths were in time, hard and labored as we came down.
“You should stay away from me, Lila. I’m no good for you,” I said. My breath was harsh against her back. I needed her to understand. There was no safety with me. “Run while you can. Run away from me, and don’t look back. I’m not worth your life.”
When I regained some semblance of strength a few minutes later, I stood up. Lila didn’t move, her eyes closed. A panic began to wash over me, but then I watched as her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.
Passed out.
Another boost to the ego I didn’t need—fuck a woman until she passes out from pleasure.
Pulling out of her was almost torture, and there was come everywhere. Days worth saved up and emptied into her.
Look at that. Our come, sliding out of her freshly fucked pussy.
This is your fault.
You wanted it. Don’t lie.
I can’t want it. This can’t happen again.
Two tastes. There’s no stopping. We’ve never felt this intensity. Ever.
I hated that he was right. The sad fact was that he spoke the truth. I was the one who tried to deny, who forced a separation.
There was no way I was going to leave her like that, so after stuffing my cock back in my pants, I found a washcloth and wet it with warm water before cleaning her up. She was completely out, almost like she hadn’t slept in days. Dead weight in my arms as I picked her up. One arm crossed her waist while the other hung down, her head rolling back and forth on my shoulder as I carried her toward the bedrooms, searching for the master.
Bruises had already begun to form on her pale skin, pink dots from my grip. I gently set her on the bed and pulled the covers out from under her, then draped them across her body.
I couldn’t help but stare at her face. So innocent looking, so vulnerable. Reaching out, I brushed a few strands of hair aside. There was no makeup on her skin, and none was needed. Her hair was a natural blonde, not dyed. She was a natural beauty.
A sigh left me, and I sat on the edge of the bed, head held in my hands.
What am I going to do?
You know what.
I can’t keep doing this.
Yes, we can.
It’s not right. It’s not good for her. I’m not good for her.
But we want to be.
What I want is irrelevant.
No one else would be hurt because of me. I meant those words. I refused to have more pain upon me. I couldn’t handle the weight. Bad enough I was already a crumbled mess that was barely held together.
Standing, I headed back toward her kitchen. She was going to need some water when she woke and, based on the bruises, probably some Aspirin as well.
As I walked through, I noticed how neat her condo was, sterile almost, but it held an unexpected warmth. Much like the feeling I got when my wife and I toured some model homes. There weren’t a lot of knickknacks, but it was lightly decorated.
I poured a glass of water and walked back to her bedroom where I took a look around and found much of the same. There was no medicine in the kitchen, so I walked into her master bathroom. Going through drawers, there was some makeup and various toiletries, all in their place. Finally, I found a drawer with a basket full of bottles.
Prescription bottles outweighed the over-the-counter medications. My expression dropped as I read some of the labels. It wasn’t just the fact she had some of the same medications I was very familiar with, but also the name that appeared on them—Dr. Darren Morgenson.
“Shit.”
How the fuck did I get in such a mess with one of Darren’s patients?
I glanced through the open door, my eyes locked on her sleeping form. Every suspicion I’d had about her and a horrible past was confirmed with a single name. Darren’s practice was specified. He worked with trauma patients and their families.
Placing the bottles back, I opened the Aspirin and shook out two pills, then put it back with the rest before closing the drawer. I set the tablets next to the water. She was still asleep, peaceful even.
“What happened to you?” I asked in a whisper, the backs of my fingers trailing across her cheek.
CHAPTER 11
My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. They couldn’t.
Twice. I’d fucked her twice.
It’d been four years since I touched a woman more than one time, and my wife was the only one for a decade. That was how much Lila had unhinged me.
I never slept with a woman more than once. There was no way I was going to let anyone in, and more than once would imply there was something more. Yet, I’d been inside Lila twice and my dick was hard, dying to be inside her again.
My skin crawled, vibrated with the desire to taste her. To sink my teeth into her skin as my hips flexed my cock deep inside her.
And it fucking pissed me off.
I had to stay away. Never again.
Things I said to her in the chaos, words that would have earned a slap, she reveled in. They weren’t definitions I associated with her, but I wanted her to be a whore for my cock. A slut willing to do anything to have me inside her. Me and nobody else.
Mine.
Every cell in me vibrated, more life coursing through me than there had been in years.
Almost three days down without incident. It was like one of those fucking signs, but instead of three days since the last accident, it was three days since the last fucking.
It hadn’t been without great effort, and I found myself staring at her a lot, trying to figure out just what it was about her that turned me on so much.
Lila was dedicated to her work. She rarely got frustrated, with the exception of visitors. The interruption messed with her flow, along with the inane chatter of the true sluts annoyingly trying to get into my pants every day.
They truly were the definition of sluts in my opinion. In the moment, my dirty mouth would call Lila that, but I wanted her to be only for me. There had never been a time that word even remotely entered my mind when thinking about her outside of those times.
Probably because I saw her beauty, her frailty. I saw what she kept from everyone. The darkness that was intoxicating. So much that I wanted to drown in it and her.
In no way was that a good idea, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her or trying to figure her out.
I looked over and she was frozen, staring down at the contract in front of her, but not moving or blinking.
“Delilah?” I asked, a bit concerned. She’d never done that before.
Her eyes focused again, and she swallowed hard. “Yes?”
“Are you okay? You’ve been staring at the same contract for the last fifteen minutes, your hands hovering over the keys.” I couldn’t stop from smiling at her. It amused me, and I wondered if her mind was just as filled with me as mine was of her.
“I just need more coffee.”
“Your mind seemed preoccupied, not tired.” I pressed her, pushed her, wanting a reaction, to see what she tried so hard to hide.
“Don’t worry, Thorne, you weren’t starring in my preoccupation.”
The way her cheeks turned pink proved me right. She was lying. Whether embarrassment or arousal, I wasn’t sure. What I did know was I wasn’t the only one struggling, caught in this cage of an office.
A giggle floated in through the door and in walked a set of breasts, followed by Jennifer.
“Nathan, I was hoping you could help me.”
Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard, but I plastered a smile on my face anyway.
“I’m going to lunch,” Lila said as she stood.
Fuck!
My eyes were wide as I watched her grab her coat and practi
cally run from the room.
Fuck, fuck!
“What can I help you with?” I asked, turning my attention back to Jennifer.
“Good, she’s gone,” Jennifer said as she blew out a breath.
“What?” I asked, a bit taken back.
“Well, she’d probably be a bitch and snitch on us.”
I furrowed my brow. “Excuse me?”
She reached out and ran her hand down my chest. “I was wondering if you’d like to come to dinner at my place tonight.”
Oh, that was what she meant.
Kick her out.
Go back to sleep.
They’re cock sleeves, nothing more.
I gave her as charismatic of a smile as I could muster. “I’m sorry, I can’t do dinner, but I can help you with your problem.”
Her smile faltered, but she nodded and showed me the paper in her hand. It was simple, just a misspelling that autocorrect probably switched.
“Maybe we could do dinner some other time?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I can’t risk losing this job.”
She nodded. “Thanks for your help.”
As soon as she was out the door, I reached up and ran my hands over my face. I didn’t want her. I didn’t want them. Not a single fucking one.
Liar.
I wasn’t counting Lila.
It felt like I had barely moved when there was a soft knock on the door. I looked up to find a stock of brunette hair attached to the youngest of my admirers—Kelly.
Jesus-fucking-Christ! Why were they always coming in, nonstop? Did they draw straws to see whose turn it was to try and seduce me, hoping one would succeed? Kelly was nearly half my age and didn’t know anything about the law. She was an office clerk, helping out with the little shit nobody had time for. There was no reason for her to come to us, or more specifically, me.
It was an even simpler matter than Jennifer arrived with.
“Oh, my God, you’re so right,” she said in fake surprise.
“Usually am.” I smiled at her.
“I was wondering, I mean, if you’re free, I’m having a party at my house this weekend. Consider this your invite.”
A party at a nineteen-year-old’s house? Yeah, right. I wasn’t going near that. I’d likely be arrested for aiding in the consumption of alcohol by underage teenagers.
“I’ll have to take a raincheck,” I said.
Seconds later, Lila returned. Immediately she glanced toward Kelly and then glared at me, obviously irritated by Kelly’s presence. She wasn’t the only one.
“Next time?”
“Maybe,” I said with a chuckle. It was never going to happen.
“Kelly, have you set up my appointment with the Sanders yet?” Lila asked, her tone clipped.
“Nope,” Kelly replied, completely oblivious to the authority of one of her superiors.
I watched Lila for her response, which was one of the coldest glares I’d ever seen.
“I asked you to set that up three hours ago.”
Kelly still hadn’t looked at her. “I’ll get to it,” Kelly said, much like an obstinate teenager she was.
“Well, I’d say if you have time to sit in here and talk, you have time to make the call you should have made three hours ago.”
Lila’s voice rose, trying to assert herself, but Kelly was exceptionally dense. That or so completely full of herself she thought that the earth revolved around her. As if she deserved my attention and could ignore Lila’s request simply because she breathed, because she was alive.
“Fine, I’ll go do it now.” Kelly finally relented. “I’ll be back.” She winked at me, and I rolled my eyes the second she was out the door.
“Better not be,” Lila said under her breath. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. “What? It’s your damn fault they’re in here all of the time. You could at least discourage their advances.”
“How is it my fault?” I asked. I knew the answer, but I liked watching her get flustered, liked watching her lose control.
“Your damn pheromones are drawing in the bees, and they’re pissing me off. You’re the best looking man in this office, and they all want you.”
Pheromones? Best looking?
She wants more. So do we.
I’ve abstained for three days, and I will continue.
Let go, and maybe you’ll understand.
“And you don’t?” I asked.
I got the response I was looking for. She blinked at me, stunned I’d even eluded to what happened. I watched as her face turned red.
I told you. She wants us.
You think I don’t know that? It doesn’t matter. I can’t.
She fidgeted and, without warning, picked her stapler up and threw it at me. It missed my head, but collided with the wall and burst into half a dozen pieces as well as leaving a dent in the wall.
What the actual fuck?
“Back to work,” she mumbled.
Did she really just throw a stapler at me and then blow me off?
My jaw ticked, and I turned to glare at her. “Yes, throw shit, Palmer, that’s mature.”
I clenched my fist, wishing the office was empty so I could bend her over her desk and spank her, then fuck her.
She let out a hard sigh and turned to glare at me. “Do you really want me to go there, Thorne? Answer me this—do you plan to screw one of them?”
Her question hinted at jealousy.
“No.”
“Then why do you flirt with them?” she asked, her jaw jutting forward.
An easy answer. It was the reason I always got what I wanted before.
“Because I’ve found that being friendly makes people more apt to do what you ask without delay or complaint. You catch more bees with honey, Palmer.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot you’re the friendliest person in the world. Oh, wait, no…” she leaned forward and whispered, “You’re damaged and hiding behind a fucking mask.”
The last words were almost hissed, anger pouring out of her. She was pissed, and the beast liked it. More black to revel in.
I met her rage with my own anger, lip curled back. “You have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”
I sat back and returned my attention to the screen. She didn’t know anything, and if I had any say, she never would.
I refused to get close to her.
CHAPTER 12
Lila finished just before six, and instead of starting something new, opted for what was an early night compared to the rest. She didn’t say a word, still mulling in her anger from earlier, and just grabbed her coat and jacket and headed to the door. The moment she was out of sight, I saved my work, putting slips of paper with notes for where to pick up in the morning, and followed.
I stalked her ass home, speeding in order to decrease the time it took for me to catch up to her. Seconds after getting out of her car, I pulled into the parking spot next to her.
We had shit to talk about, namely what the fuck got into her at the office. She avoided my stare, tried to act like I wasn’t there, and that annoyed the fuck out of me.
Once I was within ten feet of her, something in the air changed. We weren’t in the office, bound by rules and watchful eyes.
We entered the elevator and pushed the buttons for our floors. She still refused to acknowledge me, even in the mirrored reflection of the doors.
Confined space with only her was a dangerous pairing. Part of me wanted to hurt her, make her acknowledge her want, be cruel to get it.
“Were you jealous?” I asked, my mouth ghosting her ear.
She drew in a stunted, jagged breath, but it wasn’t enough to hide the effect.
“No.”
Liar.
Yes, the beast was right.
“You shouldn’t be. I don’t want them, and I don’t want you either.” She flinched at what I said, making my chest clench. I couldn’t do it, especially knowing she was just as broken as I was. “No.” I reached up and moved a lock of he
r hair, leaning into her, unable to hold back. “That’s not true, is it?” My voice broke, unable to lie about that one thing. I did want her. “I don’t want to want you, but I do. I fucking crave you, but I can’t…I can’t give in.” There was no stopping me from getting closer, increasing the current that grew ever stronger with each passing second. “Please, Lila, push me away.” The plea was barely a broken whisper, my lips running up the column of her neck. “Don’t let me take you again.”
One more time and there’d be no stopping me, stopping whatever was happening between us. I refused to let it happen, but at the same time, I was so fucking weak for her. I needed her to shove me back, get me in line.
“I can’t stop you. I want you too much.” She turned, her hand right above my heart. “You’ve given me a taste, and now I want more. I need more.”
No! No, please! Don’t say that.
Yes! She’s ours. Ours!
I stared into her eyes, into the warmth, the affection, the need that was as much emotional as physical.
“Fuck.” I backed up, needing space. “No. Don’t say that.”
It was me begging, but for release from the hold she had on me.
She pulled at my tie, our lips so close I could feel her breath, then the faint teasing touch.
“You’re like a drug, and I’m going through withdrawal.” She licked at my lips, and my dick twitched. “I need your help.”
I struggled for breath, for control, a fight I was desperately losing with every inch her hand slid down my chest. Her hot hand over my cock, gripping it, rubbing it, was a fight I would never win.
Relent.
No.
Let me out!
My hips rocked into her hand, my mind overpowered with the lust that consumed me.
The ping of the elevator and the sliding of the door jolted me. She stepped away, and I stared at her, confused, my mind still clouded with desire. I needed to stay, to go to my own floor, my own condo, and forget her.
The doors began to slide closed, and I jumped through. She gave me a shy smile, then turned toward her door.
