by K. I. Lynn
Lila broke, shattering in my arms. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she yelled, begged, pleaded with me to not leave her as her fists beat on my chest.
Not leave her?
She leaned into me, her body somehow revolting. I wrapped my arms tighter around her, but she pulled back, her hands smacking my chest.
“No!” she screamed as she attempted to push me away.
“Lila,” I said her name in an attempt to get her attention. She was borderline hysterical, and I was afraid she was going to start hyperventilating. I grabbed her arms and tried to get her to see me, hear me, anything. “Baby, stop!”
“No!”
With every smack, I tried to restrain her arms, but she managed to pull away. It was pissing me off. The moment I had a hold of her, I walked her back into the wall and pinned her there.
“Calm down,” I growled.
“Say it!” she cried out.
I closed my eyes and let out a shuddered breath as I fisted her hair.
“I want you,” I said before crashing my lips to hers.
I told her. Not everything, but more than she could even fathom. What I used to do, what followed me, and the empty life I led.
Anger fueled revelations, spewing emotion based words at each other. Snippets of her damaged past, of those who harmed her, but it was only the surface. The scars they laid were so much deeper than she let on.
I knew, because we were a matched set of empty landscape. Neither living nor dead.
The darkness grew, overpowering, taking us both over as our pasts exploded out in a cathartic release.
What followed was an emotional power play with our bodies, and for the first time, Lila took control.
She forced me to feel, to confront and accept, to understand that even if I only mattered to one person, my life had meaning.
In return, I made her feel how good my cock could feel in her ass.
CHAPTER 19
When Lila slept with me, she was out. A complete and deep sleep that lasted through the night. After our confessions and admissions, things changed.
Her sleep wasn’t as smooth. I would wake to her normally still body jerking. Deep dreams that led to restless nights. She never woke, but as I stared down at her, there was no way I could let her continue to sleep.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, her arms covering her face against an invisible attacker.
“Lila,” I whispered as I shook her. No response. I tried again, the volume of my voice increasing with each attempt.
Worry overtook me, my shaking increasing.
She shot up, gasping, her eyes unfocused.
I’d never seen her like that. The sheer terror, being held captive in a dream I couldn’t wake her from.
She ran, stumbling her way to the bathroom, the sound of her heaving echoing around the tile walls.
I knew my own reaction to night terrors, and I watched from the doorway. Her small frame shook, trembling so hard it was visible from the hairs on her head down to her toes.
I was very familiar with the bodily effects of nightmares, at least the panicked throwing up. The other side was the mentality she was left with once her heart stopped trying to beat out of her chest.
It took a few minutes for her to calm down enough to stand, and it was hard to keep myself from rushing forward to help her. She wobbled over to the sink and began brushing her teeth. I followed slowly, making sure there were no sudden movements.
She hadn’t looked at me yet. The closer I got, the tighter her muscles became. I watched her closely as her breath sped up, her movements faster as the shaking increased.
“Lila?”
There was no response, no inkling of recognition that she heard me.
“Lila.”
With her head still down she turned and tried to maneuver around me. I threw my arm out in front of her. I had to pull her out.
“Lila!” I yelled out.
She flinched, her eyes glued to the ground, refusing to look at me as she stepped back. Small steps until her back hit the wall.
It was the conditioning her family put her through. She was trapped in memories, locked in a state of fear.
“Lila?” I lowered my voice, aiming for as gentle and soothing as I could. There was a pause, then I took a step toward her.
Her harsh breaths stopped, her body frozen on the spot.
What the fuck did they do to her?
If she was that afraid, her childhood was much worse than she’d ever let on. I wondered if she even had the ability to talk about it. Her body may not have been riddled with scars like mine, but it was obvious to me she suffered much physical abuse over a long period of time.
“Lila?” I coaxed again.
I reached out, and the anger of what they’d done to her spiked as she tensed. She was bracing for the pain. I hooked my fingers under her chin to raise it so I could look at her, but she pushed back, refusing.
A growl left my chest, anger filling me. If I ever met who hurt her, there would be hell to pay. I trailed my hand down her jaw and around to the base of her neck before fisting her hair and tugging.
Finally, our eyes met, and an ache seeped into my chest. The absolute fear that looked back at me was devastating. I waited for her to see me, waited for her eyes to clear, for any flicker of recognition. To bring her back to the present and pull her from the ghosts that clawed at her.
Long, hard beats of my heart I used to count, waiting as the number increased, and still she was gone. It was more than two minutes before the fog began to lift. Her body was the first to remember as her chest rose, bowing into me.
It was my cue, and I pulled her to me, her whole body relaxing into mine.
My touch brought her back. My body against hers.
The beast purred.
I pressed my lips to her, my tongue prying her mouth open. When the last resistance left her, so did my own. I pushed her against the wall, my hands gripped her body, my fingers dug in as I claimed her mouth.
When I pulled back for breath, our eyes locked. I released her hair and brushed the loose strands from her face.
“Tell me.”
Her eyes slipped back into the fear-filled frenzy, looking anywhere but me, looking for a way out. I gripped her jaw and brought her attention back to me.
“It’s just you and me. Now, tell me.”
“A dream,” she whispered. “It was just a nightmare, that’s all.”
I let out a sigh, making the decision that going back to bed wasn’t going to work. She remained all over the place, and until I got her to fully let go, the night wasn’t going to get any better.
I stepped away and she gasped, her hands reaching for me.
It stabbed at me. I knew she was broken, but the depth was deeper than I imagined.
“Come on.”
She was wound so tightly, and I knew one way to relax her. I reached in to turn on the shower, my hand waving under it, waiting for the warmth to make its way through the pipes.
I jumped at her hands on my skin, on my scars. I couldn’t remember the last time someone touched them, and the caress of her fingers was feather light.
I let her continue, but it was difficult knowing her attention was solely focused on my battered skin. When the water turned warm, I grabbed her hand and moved her in front of me.
Tears slid down her cheeks. Tears for me.
I walked her back into the shower, watched her eyes widen when the water hit her cooled skin. We showered in silence, letting the water wash over us.
I flinched again at the touch of my scars, my chest clenching. Her fingers followed the line down my ribs. It wasn’t the first time, but the shock of being touched was still an adjustment.
When the water was warm enough, I pulled her in front of me. Tears slid down her cheeks, leaving me amazed how she could be upset over what happened to me after what just happened to her.
I walked her back, a gasp as the water hit her skin. She began to relax, but as she washed her body,
I noticed she was focused on me. After rinsing off, she reached out to my scar.
After what happened to her, she seemed transfixed on the skin, something she’d seen and touched many times before. She was soft and gentle and felt pain on my behalf without knowing what happened.
How the fuck could anyone hurt such an innocent soul?
The intimate touch as she moved around became more than I could handle. It was silent as we explored each other, my hand shaking as I caressed her still tense body. She was still stuck in her mind, so with each pass I reminded her where she was and who she was with.
There was nothing to fear with me. I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed each knuckle. The gesture was too much for her, a hiccup leaving her.
I more than anyone knew the power of ghosts. Memories so real that you lose a sense of reality and time.
There was no space between us. Skin on skin as I kissed every part of her I could reach. With each kiss, her body relaxed, and I morphed from reverent to possessive.
“Relax, baby,” I whispered as I turned her in my arms. “Do I have your attention now? I need you here with me.”
She nodded and let out a sigh, some of the tension leaving her. It wasn’t enough.
I ran my hand down her side, caressed over the curve of her hip before slipping between her legs. She was wet not only on the outside, but the inside as well. Slowly, I slid two fingers inside while my other hand teased her nipples.
“Come back to me, baby. Don’t let them take you from me.”
The more I worked her over, the more she shook. I ground the heel of my hand against her clit, eliciting a long, drawn-out moan as her hands reached back to fist my hair.
“You are my cock slut, my sex goddess, and my beautiful girl. That’s all you need to know.”
She rocked in my arms, her breaths coming out in pants. With every thrust of my fingers I pulled her back until she froze. I worked my fingers faster, my teeth on her shoulder, and she let go.
Every muscle tightened, then released, her pussy pulsing around my fingers as she lost all strength. Her whole body was limp against me.
I held her tight to me, placing light kisses on her shoulder as I ran soothing circles across her skin.
“Feel better?” I asked with a kiss to her temple. “Are you okay now?”
She managed to nod, and I continued holding her.
It was a frightening seeing it on the outside in comparison to my own experiences. One I didn’t wish on anyone.
CHAPTER 20
I hated Andrew.
The next morning he was outside our building, waiting for Lila to come down. I really couldn’t stand him or the way he drooled over what was mine. What was the worst was the fact that they were touching.
Andrew’s presence was grating. I couldn’t stand having him so close, trying to angle into what was mine. He drove my possessiveness to a new level, one I’d never experienced before.
An hour later, when we arrived at the office, I fucked her in the elevator for it, destroyed her panties, and took the scarf that hid my marks. All out of anger, out of spite. There was no way he wouldn’t see and understand, truly, that she wasn’t fucking available.
I had her fucking panties in my pocket if he wanted fucking proof of ownership.
Still, later that morning, he was fucking leaning against Lila’s desk, forcing me to listen to his inane chatter. The blood pumped violently through my veins as I imagined the brutality I would deliver to his boy-scout face.
“Lila, it looks like you’ve got some dirt on your neck,” Andrew said.
The words drew my attention, and I turned just in time to see him reach out and try to brush it away. Lila sat there, rigid, waiting for him to realize and probably wondering what to say in response.
Andrew bent down, his eyes narrowing before he stopped and pulled back. “Oh, I see,” he said.
Yeah, take that, fucker.
There was a definite awkward tension between them, and I wanted to laugh.
“So, I was thinking that little gyro place for lunch down the street. Sound good?” he asked her.
Fucker didn’t know when to quit. Even if it was just as friends, even if he understood she wasn’t available, he was still trying to fucking get in.
“Yeah, um, they have really good chicken there,” Lila replied.
I stared at Andrew, the image of my fist hitting that pretty-boy face. He really needed to fucking leave.
Andrew’s eyes met mine, and he startled before glaring back. “What?”
I mashed my teeth together in an attempt to stay calm. “Nothing. Just trying to get some work done in here. Your persistent talking is distracting. Go bother someone else.”
The fucker actually tried to bait me, which only excited the beast. His posture told me he was ready, but just when I was about to stand and show him just what he was dealing with, Lila let out a loud sigh.
He looked down to her and relaxed a bit. “I’ll see you at lunch,” he said to Lila before finally getting the fuck out of our office. I suddenly had an inkling of understanding of Lila’s frustrations at Jennifer and the slut parade.
As soon as he was gone, Lila turned to me. I glared at her before mouthing, “Mine,” and returning back to my work.
She was having dinner with the fucker. For the first time in weeks, I was alone for dinner. I tried to work it off in the gym, running at near full speed until I couldn’t breathe.
Over the past few weeks, I’d lost some muscle mass, and it was noticeable. Not so much in the mirror as in my level of pain. Before returning to work, I ran almost every day and weight trained three to four days a week.
It paid off by reducing my pain and increasing my flexibility, but not enough that I could go without pain meds. Since I met Lila I let a lot of things slip, but mostly because my workout was in a very different form.
For almost two hours I pushed myself. Repetition after repetition of weights until failure. None of it helped the violent energy that surged through me.
By the time I was done in the gym, one of our building’s few amenities, it was seven. I stopped by the guard desk to say hello on my way to the elevators. It was really just an excuse to check the cameras to see if her parking spot was still empty instead of going out to the lot.
I went upstairs and took a shower. Busted a nut in there, and still, my veins thrummed.
She was with him, the man who wanted what was mine. Once she’d been his, but that obviously didn’t work out, so his forced injection into her life drove me insane. Even more so when Lila divulged she had barely spoken with him in the six months prior to him joining Holloway and Holloway.
Ever since that night at the club, he seemed to pop up everywhere.
There was no waiting for her at my place.
It was almost nine when I used my key to open her door and still, she wasn’t home. I mashed my teeth together, my fists clenching and unclenching.
Only minutes had passed when I heard movement on the other side of the door. I moved to stand in front of the door, not giving a fuck if Andrew was with her. If he was, fuck it. He was going to get quite the show of my cock in her cunt.
The door slowly opened, and Lila’s eyes widened at the sight of me. She was alone.
“Nathan! You scared me.”
No response, no words. The moment she was through the door, I shoved it shut and spun her around into the wall. I pressed against her, pushing her chest into the drywall.
“He’s getting on my last fucking nerve,” I spat in her ear as I tugged at her jeans while rocking into her ass, pushing them over her hips.
“It was just dinner,” she said, her hands splayed on the wall, purse still hanging from her arm.
“That’s not what he thinks. He’s trying to get back inside you, but that’s reserved for me alone.”
Mine! Fucking mine!
“Yes.”
With a hard tug, I got her panties down her hips enough to expose her. It was all I needed,
just enough room.
My dick pressed against her, lined up, and then I thrust forward, pushing as much in as I could. She was tight and hot, and it only took a few bruising slams of my hips to add wet.
With one arm I pushed her into the wall, and with the other, I pushed her hips down as I drilled into her. There was nothing but the pleasure of her warmth coaxing my come.
“You’re a fucking cock tease, Lila, but you’re my fucking cock slut.”
“Yes,” she whimpered.
My thrusts were hard, brutal almost. All of my anger and frustrations I funneled into Lila in the way I pinned her to the wall with my cock. It was her punishment, the pleasure all for me. She was wet, moaning, but it was my show, and I was so worked up.
“Take my fucking cock, whore. Fucking cream on it.”
My balls were tight, and there was no drawing it out any further. I didn’t want to.
My fingers dug into her hips as I shoved into her, my cock firing off in a powerful explosion. With each stream I expelled my irritation, all of the high-strung, powerful emotions dissipating.
As my muscles relaxed and I came down from my ultimate high, I felt my knees start to buckle. My legs gave out, a combination of my workout and the fuck I gave her, and I fell to the floor, landing on my back.
“Nate!” Lila cried out, rushing over to me. “Are you okay?”
My heart slammed in my chest, my lungs burning as I tried to get a full breath.
“Don’t ever fucking go to dinner with him alone again.”
She sat down next to me. “Is that an order?”
“No, it’s a request. I can’t fucking take it.”
Her lips formed a thin line. “That’s a big request. We were talking about seeing a movie this weekend.”
A growl rumbled through my chest as I glared at her.
She took her bottom lip between her teeth, but I saw a pull on one corner.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Miss Palmer, are you baiting me?”
She reached out and trailed a finger down my chest, the down the length of my spent cock.
“Maybe.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?”
