“You must sit down.” Vladimir gave him a gentle push toward the bed.
Nicholai spun out from under Vlad’s large hand and marched to the door of the bedroom. He flung it wide. It creaked on its hinges from the force as his strides took him down the hall toward the guestroom his mate used.
He pushed the door open and his brows furrowed. The room remained perfect, pristine white, everything in its place. Only one thing missing…Juliette. His gaze fell to the table by the bed. There sat the heart-shaped pendant draped around the matryoshka he’d given her.
His heart seemed to sink to his toes when he lifted the Russian dolls from the table.
His senses flowed throughout the home, in search of his mate. Down the stairs, into every room. Finding no sign of her, he pushed farther still, out onto the grounds, past the stables, into the woods. He pushed until he swayed from exhaustion.
“You need to sit down,” Vlad repeated.
Nicholai rounded on him, fists clenched. “Where is she?”
“I have no idea, my friend.”
Nicholai traversed the room in three angry strides. His face heated with ire. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“When I awoke, she was gone.”
Nicholai paced the snowy carpet. “Did someone grab her? She’s been under attack.”
Vlad shook his head. “That is unlikely. Her clothes and belongings are missing.”
Nicholai crossed to the closet and ripped the door from its hinges in his haste. Sure enough her clothing was gone along with her suitcase. He crashed into the bathroom. Her personal items were absent as well.
Vladimir’s gaze followed him when Nicholai emerged from the bath and sat on the bed in utter defeat.
“Why? Why did she leave me?” Nicholai lay on the bed, burying his face in the pillows that held the scent of his heartmate. He breathed deeply, took in the delicate lilac scent.
Had he not provided for her? Had he not proven his love to her? He’d fought for her, saved her not once but twice. How could she leave him, knowing he’d been injured? He refused to believe she would be so cold. To leave without saying goodbye, to leave without knowing if he would live or die. Those were not the actions of a heartmate.
A heartmate should remain by his side forever loving and caring for him. He was supposed to be the most important thing in his heartmate’s life. A heartmate put their other half above all else. Yet his mate had done exactly the opposite. Run from him when he had needed her most.
Vladimir sat beside him on the bed and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Do not despair, friend. She will return to you. She must, for she is your mate.”
Nicholai glanced up. Agony tore at his heart. “Do you know why she left?”
“We should go to the kitchen to talk. This will be a long story, and you need to feed.”
Reluctantly, Nicholai nodded his agreement as hunger pangs burned his stomach.
When the two males settled themselves in the kitchen, Nicholai forced down three bags of blood while Vlad shared the events of the past days. Nicholai learned Julie had called for help and stayed over him, protecting him as he lay dying in her arms.
Those were the actions of a heartmate. “So why did she leave?” Nicholai inquired around the top of a bag.
“You needed blood. After I told her what we are, she panicked. She was reluctant to feed you. I had no choice but to force her compliance, or you would have died.”
Rage boiled within his veins. Knowing Vladimir, he’d manhandled Julie and scared the shit out of her. He pushed the emotion down, realizing getting mad would not make anything better.
Needing some fresh air, Nicholai pushed through the back door. He stared blankly over the white landscape. His home felt empty. Never had he been so alone. His heart was broken, ripped from his chest. It remained with the woman he loved, wherever that was.
“Do you have any idea where she went?” he asked Vlad when the Alpha joined him outside.
“I’m not sure. As I said, when I awoke, she’d left.”
“Perhaps she went back to England.”
“That would be a logical assumption.”
“I should go to her. See if I can persuade her to return.”
“I would give her a little while. Nothing makes a female crave her mate like being separated from him.”
“But she needs my protection.”
“Did you not kill the thing that came after her?”
Nicholai contemplated the question. He had fought the wolf that turned into a woman and killed it. What had that thing been?
He had lived many centuries and seen much in his long life, but he had never run into a shape-shifter before. He thought werewolves were things of folklore. Perhaps they were real.
Nicholai’s shoulders stiffened when he noticed a shadow slinking across the property along the tree line. The animal’s black pelt glistened with flakes of snow. A dusting of the stuff coated its muzzle.
“It’s another shifter,” he whispered. His muscles tensed to pounce.
Vlad’s hand rested heavily on his shoulder. “No, you are wrong. It is only a wolf. Do not hurt it.”
“How do you know it is not a shifter?”
“I can tell,” he replied cryptically. Noting Nicholai’s doubtful look, he continued, “I touched its mind. It is a wolf.”
Nicholai sent his senses out for anything unusual. He found nothing, no blank spots. No Juliette. Her absence left him bereft.
“I cannot believe she is gone. Why were you so highhanded with my mate?” Nicholai demanded, turning on Vladimir.
“I simply told her the truth. I did not know you had not yet told her about our kind.”
Nicholai paced to work off some of his pent-up rage. “I was waiting until she had admitted she loved me. I wanted to hear her say the words, admit to herself as much as to me she cared. Then I would have sat her down and explained everything. It would have been perfect. I would have been gentle, careful not to frighten her.” Anger heated his ears, and he pinned Vlad with an intense stare. “But instead, you had to ruin everything. What am I going to do?”
Under Vladimir’s watchful gaze, Nicholai blinked away unshed tears.
“She is afraid, Nicholai. Once she has time to think things through, she will return. I am sure of it.”
Nicholai’s gaze remained unfocused as he stared once more out into the distance. “I hope you are right, because without her, I don’t want to go on.”
Chapter 44
A scream tore from her throat, jarring Juliette awake. Without delay, Desmond Wright’s strong arms drew her to his side. Though the confinement initially sent a shiver of fear through her, she fought the feeling and wrapped an arm around his lean waist.
“It’s okay, Julie. You are safe with me.” The sound of Desmond’s voice sent a calming sensation through her mind.
He’d spent every evening with Julie since her return from Russia. Mostly they sat, as they did now, in the living room with a movie playing. It mattered not what they did; only that he was there.
“You haven’t been sleeping well. Those dark circles under your eyes, the way your face looks drawn, all say you need more sleep.” Desmond held her head to his shoulder.
“I wish I could. I’m due back at work tomorrow. Since I returned home, I haven’t slept more than two hours a night. Every time I fall asleep, I see—”
Dread fell over her as memories of Nicholai’s injured body, lying broken and bloody, filled her mind.
“I know, love.”
It had been almost a week since she had left Russia, but her experiences there remained. Her mind, fretting over the trauma she had been through, would not let her rest peacefully.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I could protect you better if you gave me more details. You’ve hardly shared much other than you were attacked multiple times in Russia. I don’t want to push you, but I’m afraid a vampire might be after you. That would explain the scent on your clothes
your first night home. It would also explain an incident that occurred while you were gone when I came to check on Connor and found him locked in the bathroom. Someone had obviously been in the house. Not to scare you, but as I entered your bedroom, I spied a black wisp of smoke wafting in the air.”
“The thing that attacked me is dead,” Julie offered.
“But there might be others working with him. I’d feel better with more information.”
“Desmond, I realize you are trying to help, but reliving it won’t help me. I’m trying to put this whole thing behind me and forget about it. I’m sure the thing is dead.”
“I consider you under my care and protection, and I take the responsibility quite seriously. I’ll not push you, but know this, I’ll be keeping watch, ready for an attack should one come. I’ll defend you with my last breath for I love you like a sister.”
He hugged her tight, and she cuddled against him, believing every word. He’d never let anything happen to her. It reassured Julie, even if she believed the danger had been managed.
Julie pushed her hair away from her face and took a deep breath. The luscious scent of roses filled her lungs, bringing with it thoughts of love lost.
Two dozen roses had arrived almost every day since she’d left Russia. She’d delivered most of the bouquets from Nicholai to the local hospital, but one she kept, unable to share it with anyone else. The bouquet contained a poem. The endearing words and striking alliterations had expressed the depth of Nicholai’s love for her in a way nothing else could.
Tears burned her eyes as the rosy perfume filled her nose. She believed his declaration of love, did not doubt the depth of his feelings for her, but the love for her husband, coupled with a fear of being thrown again into the icy depths of grief and despair by losing another man she loved, kept her from reaching out to him.
Julie looked up at Desmond. His face blurred with her tears when he spoke.
“I can sense your sorrow. It might help if you talk about it.”
“Not now,” she whispered.
Desmond nodded as if he had expected the answer, and Julie burrowed into his shoulder.
Connor leapt onto the flowery couch beside them. The large dog turned several circles before he settled and took up most of the couch as he laid his muzzle on his crossed paws. Julie absently stroked his fur, seeking the comfort that came from a canine friend who would love her no matter what.
Love. Unconditional love.
Nicholai had offered her that. He had been understanding, never pushed her. He’d allowed her time to accept her love for him. He had been gentle, always loving her with his words and actions, in addition to his body.
Tears fell from her eyes, wetting Desmond’s shirt, and she remembered Nicholai’s romantic words, heartfelt words she didn’t doubt he meant. He loved her with all his heart, and her consternation had thrown it all away.
Thanks to Desmond, she now understood like humans, some vampires were good and others evil. They were not soulless, undead monsters. Desmond convinced her not all of them needed to be feared. But could she love one?
Being with Nicholai felt like being home. With him all things seemed possible. He’d made her believe she was sexy, beautiful, like she was the only woman in the world. With him, she felt desirable and cherished.
And she had thrown it all away. She could never face him again. He deserved much better than she could ever give him. She was a broken soul, damaged goods, and he should have someone every bit as perfect as him. Surely he would eventually tire of her, move on, and find the perfect woman. She only needed the strength to hold out a little longer against the overwhelming urge to go to him.
Pulled from her contemplation, Julie jumped when the phone rang.
“Don’t answer that,” she commanded.
Desmond settled back against the couch. “Why not? It might be important.”
“I know who it is. I don’t want to talk.”
“No kidding. I could take a message.”
The ringing came to a halt. “See, Des. It stopped.”
She knew exactly who had been on the other end of the line. It was the person who had called most every day since she’d left.
If she could just stay away, life would go on without him. Eventually the roses would stop coming, her phone would no longer have messages from him.
Seeing him lying on the frozen ground, his paleness matching the snow around them, had been too much. Better to cut him out of her life now than to have him ripped violently from her after years of loving him.
And really, it was best for him too. The logic sounded feeble, even to her, but she’d go with it.
He would be better off without her. And she would do what was best for Nicholai. He had almost died because of her.
They were total opposites. He was wealthy, she was a teacher. He was strong, powerful, overwhelming, and she was…not. Even if they got past all that, how long could a relationship with him possibly last?
No. A future wasn’t possible, and if she held out a little longer, Nicholai would eventually realize that.
****
Nicholai slammed the phone down, then stalked across the room and stared out the window of his office. His gaze roamed over the grounds. The wind whipped through the bare trees, and their spindly branches sent shadows dancing over the snowy land.
It had been a series of torturous days since Juliette left his home. Days that left him empty and alone. He’d been seeking contact with her, touched her mind now and then to assure himself she lived. However, it was not enough. He needed to be with her, feel her there next to him.
His body needed her as much as his mind did. His heart, his very bones, ached from her loss. The other half of his soul was gone. It made him nearly mad with need for her.
Juliette. Her name sent a stab of pain into his gut.
Desperate to hear the soft sweet sound in his ears once more, he called her several times a day, hoping just once she might pick up the phone. He’d been tempted to communicate through their mindlink, but for now she obviously wanted no communication from him or she would have returned his calls. Therefore, he would stay a quiet shadow in her mind.
He let the windowsill take his weight as he rested both palms on the marble. He needed to find a way to win her back. Every day he sent her flowers, each time professing his love for her on a card. Nicholai did not want to push, but he was not sure how much longer he could stand not being near her.
Surely she felt the same way. How could she not when she was his mate? In the recesses of her mind, she admitted her love for him. He had seen her concern for his safety, her fear for him the night he had fought the shape-shifter for her. But he also saw her self-doubt, her fear of allowing herself to love yet another man who might be taken from her one day. Those fears had kept him at bay these past days.
He needed a new plan, a way to win her. His mind raced through the possibilities, discarding each idea as it came until finally he decided on an option. It might be risky, but then being with Juliette was worth any risk.
A smile spread across his face for the first time since he had awakened to find his heartmate gone. He knew exactly what to do.
Chapter 45
A knock at the door drew everyone’s attention. Connor bounded off the couch with a loud series of warning barks.
“Expecting someone?” Desmond rose to his feet.
Juliette stood and placed a hand on the vampire’s forearm. “It’s probably another flower delivery. I’ll get it.”
Julie went to the door. After threading one hand through Connor’s collar to restrain him, she reached for the knob.
As she opened it, Desmond yelled, “Get back, Julie! I recognized that scent. That is the vampire who attacked you.”
She had only a second to realize Nicholai stood in the doorway before Desmond’s powerful thighs brought him to the door in a single bound.
He grabbed Nicholai’s shirt with one hand, his other made a fist that landed squarely
on Nicholai’s jaw.
Nicholai’s head snapped back. Shock took his face. With a mighty push, Nicholai threw Desmond backward across the room into one of the flowery couches. It moved under his weight, crashed into the end table, and the Tiffany lamp tumbled to the floor.
Julie’s eyes went wide. The two men became a blur of motion, bodies flying apart, then back together. She had to concentrate to make out the shapes of hard forms in the powerful whirlwind.
Connor pulled, lunging at the whirling mass. His deep growls and barks added to the chaos as the two males swirled around the living room. They spun around the room like a tornado, moving so fast Juliette’s eyes did not register their kicks and punches. However, she heard bones crunch and the slap of skin while the two exchanged blows.
The furniture that exploded when the blurry mass neared evidenced the fierceness of their battle. Julie watched one piece of furniture after the next burst into pieces. First her delicate coffee table, next the end table where the Tiffany lamp had been, then the rocking chair. When the mass moved toward the antique credenza, Juliette screamed.
Her beautiful roses sprayed about the room. Red petals floated slowly to the floor in surreal contrast to the fast and furious movements of the fighters.
The activity drove Connor to a fevered pitch. She barely kept him out of harm’s way. Wanting to be a part of the action, the dog strained against the hold on his collar.
A body flew toward her, and she jumped sideways to avoid it. As she leapt, something caught her foot and knocked her off balance. She landed on one knee. Unfortunately, the rug provided little padding.
Before she registered who had flown toward her, the two men were a blur again. When Julie stood, she lost her grip on Connor’s collar. To her surprise, the dog did not move. A ridge rose along his back as if he sensed something, something that kept him away from the action.
Power built in the room. It prickled over her skin, making the hairs stand on end. Suddenly a powerful blast sent the two males flying in opposite directions. Desmond came to rest in a crumpled heap inside the fireplace. The bricks deteriorated over his slumped form while Nicholai slammed into the wall and the plaster cocooned around him.
Alpha Lover Page 29
