Haley reached up and kissed him. “You’re an amazing man. It doesn’t matter where you came from, but the fact that you already know all those things you want to be for her is just amazing. Rosie is lucky to have you.”
He shrugged. “I owe her, too. Look at her mother. I won’t ever be able to forgive myself for that. One day she’s going to ask questions, she’s going to want to know where her real mother is. When I have to answer the whys. I don’t even have answers. Why was I sleeping with a woman that was capable of that? Why would her mother leave her out in the cold? So many times I’ve thought what if I hadn’t been home that night? If she had been left out there for a few hours…” He made a fist and clenched his teeth. “She’d be gone, Haley, and I would have been partly to blame.”
“But she’s not. You were home. You stepped up and took her in and are already doing better than most for her. She’s such a happy little thing and you’ve already bonded with her.”
“Because of you. If you hadn’t helped us out, I don’t know what the hell I would have done.”
“You would have found a way, because you want the best for her. At the end of the day, that’s all you can do.”
“You jumped into this situation to help me and Rosie out, and you’re running everything. A house, a kid, cooking. Rosie and you have made me want things I never thought about. The family, the kids.” He stopped speaking when her eyes filled with tears.
She was blinking rapidly. “It’s fine. I…I wanted to help Rosie. She’s just the sweetest little baby ever, and I’m grateful she’s in my life. I think I need to go check on something. I hear my phone ringing.”
She bolted off the couch, and all his sensors were on high alert—especially when he spotted her phone on the kitchen counter, not ringing or making any sounds. She looked as though she’d wanted to burst into tears. He should either go after her or let her have her space. He didn’t like the idea of her crying.
…
She needed to get away from this, from Connor, from all the babies. Everyone was having babies, and he wanted more babies. And then she’d have to tell him the truth. No one knew the truth. They’d pity her. Connor would pity her, but he’d be too nice to say anything and would have to settle for no more children, for no children with her.
“Hey,” he said quietly. He was standing in the doorway, his arms braced against each side. “What’s going on?”
She shrugged, trying not to sound irrational. “I think we’re moving too fast. All of this.”
Surprise flickered across his handsome face. “Okay. Well, tell me what you want. We can slow things down if that’s easier for you.”
Ugh. He was so good to her. “I…I think we should end what we have between us.”
“Where is this coming from?”
It hurt to look at him. She saw the vulnerability and anger in his eyes and turned away from him. “I want to spare us both the pain of the inevitable. The longer we stay together the more it will hurt later when it doesn’t work.”
“Why won’t it work?”
She shrugged. “I know things, Connor.”
“Bull.”
“I can’t do marriage again. I can’t trust again. I can’t have my heart broken again.”
“Where is this crap coming from? How are we not going to work out? I’d die before I hurt you, Haley. I’m never going to walk out on you.”
“What if I leave?”
His face closed up. “Why would you leave?”
“What if you change?”
He had gone eerily still now. “How?”
She shrugged, aware that she was entering dangerous, insulting territory. She hated that this entire discussion was showing her how she wasn’t healed at all. She had issues. Mommy issues. Men issues. She was still a mess. She should go back to therapy. She had no right entering a lifelong committed relationship if this was where she was at still. “I mean, people change. Like, when bad things happen, how are you going to act?”
He blinked. “Uh, I don’t know. How do you act when something makes you angry?”
“I don’t know. I cry.”
He ran a hand over his jaw. “Okay, well, maybe I won’t do that, but if you’re getting at what I think you’re getting at, I’m going to make things really clear, and I’m also going to try my hardest at not being insulted by what you’re insinuating. I know enough about myself to know that I don’t take out my anger on other people. I will never put you down to build myself up. I will never yell at you to make myself feel better. I will never belittle you to make myself greater. And I will never threaten or demean you. Haley, I will never raise my hand to you or even make you think that’s a possibility. I want you as my partner, my wife, someone I respect as my equal…almost, because there is the matter of the IQ results.”
She almost laughed, but she was also crying because everything he was saying was so sincere, and exactly what she wanted to hear, more than she ever expected to hear. But he didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know that she wouldn’t be able to give him the happy future he wanted. And then what? Would he be with her out of duty? Out of obligation? Would she spend the rest of her life with him feeling like the inferior one?
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bear seeing the disappointment in his eyes. She didn’t want him to think less of her. “I realize that all of this was a mistake.”
He took a step closer to her and she didn’t move. “What was a mistake?”
“Getting involved. I’m not ready. I don’t want another relationship,” she said, the words causing her pain just to say.
“I think you’re tired and you’re scared. I think you have unresolved issues—understandably so. I would do anything for you. Anything. You told me you were seeing a therapist when you first came to Shadow Creek—I can go with you if you want.”
She put her head in her hands. Oh God, he was good to her. But she was better off throwing it all away now, before they went too far.
“Haley, why don’t you go to bed? We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“I know how to make up my mind. I know what I think. Been there, done that. I’ve had a man who told me what to think, I don’t need another one,” she said, faking that she was insulted. It was the only way.
His jaw clenched. “Don’t twist this around, Haley. You know I’d never do that. I’m leaving Monday anyway, so you’ll get your space. Just don’t ever compare me to that asswipe you were with,” he said. “We could have everything. A family. A life together. You could teach in Shadow Creek.”
“We both know I accepted a job for September.”
“What if you took the part-time position at the Shadow Creek school?”
“I can’t support myself on part-time teacher pay.”
He was looking at her like she wasn’t getting it. “You don’t have to. You could work there and be home with Rosie the other days. You don’t have to worry about supporting yourself.”
It was a hot mess, because all she heard was David’s voice, telling her she didn’t need to work. Connor wasn’t David…and yet here they were. “David never respected my love for my career. In the beginning, he pretended to. Then he had a car service take me to work and pick me up. He justified it by saying he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t stressed driving in the city and that I was safe. But I figured it out—it was a way for him to make sure he knew where I was at all times.”
“I’m trying really hard not to lose my patience because I think you’re going to use it against me if I do, but that’s pretty damn insulting. I value everything you do around here. If you were my wife and Rosie was your daughter, I wouldn’t treat you like less of a person because you’re not on a salary. I wouldn’t lord it over you. It’s a partnership. Someone earns the cash to live, the other one makes sure everyone is alive. Easy. Simple. Don’t complicate things.”
“It’s not that simple. It’s…it’s not what I want. I don’t want part-time. I don’t want Shadow Creek.”
“You don�
��t want me and Rosie.”
He didn’t wait for her reply, he just turned and walked out of the room. She braced herself, waiting for the slam of a door, but it never happened.
Haley had never heard such high winds before. It made that last storm seem like nothing. The sound of ice hitting the windows and roof was jarring, a constant reminder of the storm outside. She and Rosie were completely alone. Connor had left this morning for work and wouldn’t be back for two days.
She hated what she’d said to Connor. She had insulted him so badly, she’d hurt him. The next morning he’d looked at her, and she saw the hope in his eyes. He’d been hoping she was just tired. They had barely spoken, and it had almost killed her. But she was a wimp. Deep down, she was a wimp, because she was willing to lose him, to let him go, rather than have him turn her away when he found out she couldn’t have kids. But it was going to hurt because she had no options. She would never love anyone else. She would never want anyone else. And it would kill her if he fell in love with someone else.
She hated that she sent him away. She hated that she hurt him. The moment she finally admitted what she hadn’t even admitted to herself, that she was afraid of him, of men, of relationships altogether was heartbreaking. Maybe she’d broken his heart. His eyes had looked shattered. She was taking out all her issues on him. She knew he was nothing like David. She knew on a rational level, but there was so much irrational in her still. She had been so hurt, so blindsided. She had become a different person, and after she left David she’d promised herself she wouldn’t get involved with anyone else for years. She’d needed time to heal, but then along came Connor and everything she’d promised to herself meant nothing. What was wrong with her? That stupid time she’d asked him to dance at the wedding? Why had she let herself be so vulnerable with him—that dance had started everything. They had known what they’d suspected the first time they saw each other—that their chemistry was off the charts.
And then spending the night with him, again, what had she been thinking? A total sucker for punishment because it was all she could think about. It had never been like that with David. She had never felt that connection with anyone except Connor. He’d treated her like she was special. He’d acted as though he’d never desired anyone as much as her. He had turned her whole world around.
She’d slowly fallen in love with him without knowing it. She had fallen in love with him as she’d watched him find his way as a father. He’d been so endearing. He held his daughter like she was the most precious thing in the world. He was so careful around her, making sure he was doing things right. He was an amazing mix of strength and vulnerability. It hurt to look at him and Rosie together. She ached to be a part of what they had. In her wildest dreams, she’d be with them, be a part of the family they were becoming.
But what if it all fell apart? She had never loved David like this. Maybe she had never loved David at all. If Connor ever hurt her, she’d never recover. If he decided he wanted more kids and left her for another woman, she’d be destroyed.
She finished brewing her coffee and decided to check in on Rosie, who didn’t seem to be bothered by the storm at all, and slowly shut the bedroom door, making sure the monitor was on. She lit some candles and made her way to the kitchen and decided she should get a head start on making bottles for nighttime feeding.
She wondered what Connor was thinking of her now. He must hate her. Her phone vibrated, turning on the countertop. She hoped it was him. Her heart sank as David’s number showed on the display. What did he want?
“What?” she answered, putting him on speaker.
“It’s time we spoke for real. Don’t hang up on me. I want you back. I want the life we had.”
She couldn’t deal with this now. She didn’t want to. She wanted her past to be in the past, but no matter what she did, it’s like she kept getting pulled back there. He’d ruined her life for years and now he was still trying. Tomorrow she was getting a new number. “That was a fake life, David. You told me what to do and I, stupidly, did it. You’re not calling me anymore. I told you we are done.” She glanced at the battery indicator on her phone and frowned. He was literally draining her in all ways.
“I don’t accept that. I let you have your time away so you could come to your senses. You’ll never be able to have the life I gave you.”
“I have to go.” Her battery would die momentarily and that was perfect.
“Where did your boyfriend go? What an ass leaving you and a little baby alone in a storm.”
She inhaled sharply, her eyes darting to the front door, making sure it was locked. Omigod, where was he? He was outside? He was watching her? Was he parked on the side of the road? “What are you talking about, David?” she said, trying to act calm.
“I’m talking about the fact that you’re finally alone, and we can talk about reconciling.”
“I’m not alone.”
“Don’t lie, Haley. You know I hate it when you lie. I know you’re alone.”
She stood perfectly still as panic slithered through her body. She couldn’t show her fear in case he really was watching. How could he have found her?
“I’m not. He went around the corner to pick up baby food. He’ll be back in five minutes.”
“Haley, I saw him put overnight bags in his white-trash truck. I know he’s not coming back. There’s a massive storm outside, no one but me is coming in. We are long overdue for a conversation.”
“My friends are coming over.” She was babbling a little now, trying to still act calm. “I’m not sure you know them, but one of them is the county sheriff. I’m sure he’d love to meet you.”
“I’ll see you in a minute, don’t hang up.”
She didn’t have to hang up because her phone was dead. She needed her charger. The pounding at the door made her jump, tears running down her face. This was straight out of a movie.
Rosie. She had to protect Rosie. She couldn’t let him near her. The phone or Rosie.
“Open the damn door, Haley!” he yelled from the other side, his voice so loud, even against the ice and wind.
She ran across the house to the bedroom and frantically thought of where she could hide Rosie. Adrenaline was pumping through her, forcing her to be strong and not cave in to her fears. She would never give up, not with Rosie here. She’d die for that baby.
She glanced down at Rosie again, thankfully she was a sound sleeper and wasn’t due for another feeding. She eyed the large closet. That might work. She could push the bassinet in there, close the door, and then lock the bedroom door. She worked frantically and then once Rosie was secured in the closet, ran back into the main room, jumping as the door shook.
She needed a weapon. There was the butcher block of knives. But what did she know about using a knife? It was her only choice. She grabbed a knife and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans. The doorknob kept rattling and as much as she hated the idea of turning out the lights, she realized that might give her an advantage because she knew this place and he had no idea where she could be. She hated the idea of leaving Rosie alone, but she didn’t want to lead him to her, either. Maybe she could hide in the laundry room.
She jumped as the front door burst open and David stood there, looking meaner than he’d ever looked. She stood immobilized, each beat of her heart hurting, choking her until she had trouble breathing. This couldn’t be happening. This was stuff that happened on TV.
“Bad move not answering me, Haley. When I tell you to do something, you do it,” he said, walking toward her. He was taller than she remembered, scarier, uglier.
“You have no power over me anymore, David,” she said, lying, knowing he did have power over her or her voice wouldn’t be shaky, her body wouldn’t be trembling. But there was no way she was going to show him that. She could protect herself and she would die before she let anything happen to Rosie.
He gave her a smile so evil she felt bile rise in her throat. She wasn’t going to run. She would not back down. H
e stood in front of her, the wind and ice swirling around them as the door was left open. She had no plan, no way out, but she stood still, even when his hands came up to her face, sliding to the nape of her neck and then clenching tightly.
“You’re coming back with me. You’re my wife. You will continue being my wife. We took vows. You humiliated me in front of all our friends. I’ve had to lie and make excuses for you. No more. You’re done playing the whore for this white-trash guy you’re living with. I will make you regret leaving me for the rest of your life.” He leaned in close, and she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face as he attempted to kiss her.
She reached behind her back, her hand on the handle of the knife, but before she could pull it out, a guttural roar rang through the house and David was gone, halfway across the room with Connor on top of him.
“Haley, call Chase!” he yelled, sliding his phone across the floor.
She ran to the phone and fumbled with the numbers, trying to dial while watching Connor slam David’s face into the fireplace mantle. She turned from the rustling and grunting, knowing she couldn’t stand to watch. She knew David didn’t stand a chance; she doubted he’d ever had to defend himself. Chase answered, and Haley stammered out what happened and hung up the phone.
Connor had pinned David down at the neck and he turned to look at her. He was breathing heavily, his expression fierce, taut. She was still trembling, unable to walk forward. “Are you okay?” he asked in a voice filled with so much anger it shook.
She nodded, folding her arms around herself and turned her gaze to David who was looking at her, the hatred in his eyes making her nauseous. His face was filled with blood and he was writhing and yet he could still hate her. How she could have ever been stupid enough to stay with him for as long as she had was beyond her. The sound of a muffled cry over the wind made her ache.
“Where’s the baby?” Connor asked, his voice harsh, his hand not moving from David’s neck.
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