by Amy Brent
“You didn’t tell them it was me?” I asked. I wanted to make sure I heard her right. I wasn’t sure how to feel or what to think. I thought she might have told them. I thought we could have been past this point. I knew it was going to be hard for me to be around Alan.
“They don’t know who it is. I only said it was someone at work and that I didn’t want to talk about it. I don’t want them to know.” She was looking down at her hands, avoiding eye contact with me.
“But I think we should tell them. The baby will be here soon enough, and I’d rather get this whole thing with them figured out before the baby arrives.”
She put her hands on mine and stared me in the eyes. Her big round eyes looked absolutely gorgeous.
“Please. I’m not ready to do that just yet. I promise we’ll talk to them. We’ll tell them and get it all figured out before the baby gets here. But not tonight. Please.” She was pleading with me, and it tore at my heart strings. I couldn’t make her do something that she didn’t want to do.
“We won’t tell them,” I said. And then I pulled her into me more. We rode like that, not talking, but it was comfortable until we got to her parents’ place.
I was nervous, even though I knew they had no idea we were together and that I was the father of her baby. I wasn’t really sure why they had wanted us to both come for dinner. I thought for sure that they might have known about me. But that didn’t seem to be the case anymore since Violet made it clear she didn’t want them to know. This was going to make this dinner so much harder.
When we walked up to the door and she knocked, the door opened to reveal her mother and father. Both already had drinks in their hands. I hoped that was a good sign as to how the evening was going to go. From the looks of it, her mom had a martini and her dad had a brandy because we were having dinner together. He always had a brandy when there were guests over for dinner. It occurred to me that I knew a lot about her father. Maybe even more than she knew. And I started to feel a little guilty that he had no idea what was going on between us.
They invited us in, and I shook Alan’s hand. “Hey, Alan. How have you been? Thank you for having me over for dinner.”
He shook it and looked me right in the eye. My heart rate picked up, and I felt like he was searching my eyes for something. Some sort of answer to an unasked question, perhaps? I wasn’t really sure and just went with the moment, not letting him see that I was sweating, or that I was freaking out on the inside. Maybe he knew because he knew me too well.
“Thank you so much,” he said when he finally spoke. “Thank you so much for getting our baby girl this internship and writing the amazing report on her. It really means a lot to us that you did that for her.”
I felt a weight get lifted off my shoulders. That was all this was about. I started to feel a little better, even though I had to push away the thought of confessing to him what was going on.
“You’re welcome,” I said. “Your daughter is a very hard worker. I wish there were more people with her work ethic around there.” I smiled at Violet. She smiled back and so did her mom. “Besides we go back far enough.” I winked at him, and he laughed.
“Dinner is in a few minutes,” Gloria said. “Let’s go sit down.” The four of us walked into the dining room and sat down around the giant table.
There were far too many seats at the table for such a small party, but we all sat closely together. I tried to calm my nerves down. But I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me to be around Alan with his pregnant daughter, the one I got pregnant, in the same room as us.
“It really is lovely what you’ve done for our Violet,” her mother said, just as the housekeeper came around with water glasses for the four of us.
“Thank you,” I said. “But seriously, it’s not a big deal. I’ve known you guys so long. And she really is a hard worker, just like her dad.”
The housekeeper handed me a glass of ice water. I was hoping for something stronger because there was no way I could get through this dinner without a little encouragement. I took a sip of my water and then continued talking. “Like I said, she’s got an amazing work ethic that’s really hard to find in workers. I have had far too many people with half-ass attitudes. More than people who actually care about their job. So really, it’s my pleasure to have her there.” I was rambling now, and I hoped more than anything that I wasn’t giving myself away. Calm down, I told myself.
The chef came out with a couple other people. They were all carrying silver trays with covers. They set them down on the table in front of us and lifted the lids.
There were lamb and veal, along with a selection of different sides. It all smelled amazing.
“I’m just so sorry she had to go and get herself knocked up,” her dad said as we were beginning to eat.
I grabbed my water and took a few gulps. I didn’t know how to respond or what to say. I was at a loss for words. I promised Violet I wouldn’t say anything, but it was hard not to.
“It’s someone at work,” her dad continued. “There’s some asshole at your company that likes to go around knocking women up. I know I’m semi-retired, but maybe I need to come back full time, so I can make sure things like this don’t happen anymore.”
I almost choked on the bite of lamb chop I was currently chewing. It was getting harder and harder for me to keep up this ruse. To keep this piece of information hidden away from her family. They didn’t deserve to be in the dark. Especially, Alan, my long-time friend.
Her dad finished the glass of whatever he was drinking, and then he looked at me, hard. “What kind of people do you hire there?” he asked.
The weight of the lie was starting to wear me down. It was taking over my every thought. It was becoming too much. I knew I should keep my promise to Violet, but the secret was beginning to crush me. It was pressing down on me, making it difficult to breathe. They needed to know the truth. They deserved to know the truth.
I cleared my throat and placed my hand on Violet’s. I watched her dad’s eyes narrow at it. And then I think realization dawned on him before I even said a word.
“We have something to tell you,” I started.
Both of her parents froze, looking at me like I had three heads. It was hard to do this, but I needed to. I knew I was going to be hurting Violet by telling them, but she’d see how they needed to know the truth. Things would get better from here, and we could move on with the pregnancy and with our relationship, without the lingering fear of her parents finding out. This was going to be best for everyone.
“Don’t,” Violet whispered.
“It’s time,” I said.
She shook her head, but the looks from her parents told me that I really needed to say something.
“Your daughter and I are in love. I am the father of her child.”
Her dad spit his food out of his mouth and swallowed the rest of his drink. He slammed the empty glass down on the table. He seemed to be thinking for a moment. Her mom didn’t move. She was staring at me. Not talking, not doing anything other than staring at me. Or rather, she was staring through me.
Alan stood up and swung at me from across the table. I leaned back, pushing my chair back with my legs as I did so. He went to swing at me one more time, and I evaded it once again. Only this time, I fell over my chair just as he fell onto the table, causing everything to fall all over the floor. Violet came running to me while her mom went running to her dad. They were both checking on us to make sure we were okay. I got up from the floor and went over to help her dad.
Alan was livid with me, and rightfully so. I knew this was going to happen, but I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders in a way. The secret was out, and now we could properly move forward with our lives and with planning for the baby’s arrival.
“You need to leave,” her mom said to me while holding her hand up, stopping me from coming any closer.
I nodded my head. “Thank you for dinner. I’m sorry it got ruined, and I hope you guys will come
around, at least for your grandchild’s sake.”
Chapter 26
Violet
I couldn’t believe he just told them. Did he not care about my feelings? Did he not care that maybe I had a plan on how I wanted to bring it up to my parents? When I realized he was okay after falling backward, I could feel my blood begin to boil.
My fists were clenched, and I felt angry. I wanted to tell them in a different way, and even though he promised he wouldn’t say anything, Cole told them regardless. He told my parents that we’re in love and he’s the father. I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t supposed to say anything at all. I didn’t want him to, and this was the reason why. My parents overreacted to everything that wasn’t in their little life plan for me. I hated it.
And now I was upset with Cole, too. Call it hormones or whatever, but I knew it was because he betrayed me. I had wanted to have a private talk with my dad. I didn’t want him to find out this way. I wanted to ease him into the idea of Cole being the dad and us being together and in love. Now that shot was ruined, and he hated Cole. I was growing more and more agitated.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” my dad yelled at Cole.
I didn’t want him to leave, but at the same time, I did feel upset that he had done this. He dropped this bomb on them like this. I wanted him to leave so that maybe I could get everything under control. Maybe I could get my parents to calm down and think about things rationally. I could explain what happened, and we could work through this.
We had to work through this. I wasn’t a little girl, but a part of me hoped my parents would support my pregnancy. What child doesn’t want their parents’ support when they are about to have a child of their own?
My mom went completely pale. I didn’t know if I’d ever seen her that way before, but I felt like this was the look she had on her face when she was on the phone with me last weekend. It was probably also the look when she first found out for herself.
“Get out of my house!” my dad yelled again.
I cringed at how loud he was. The noise level would have been so much worse in my studio than it was here. But then again, the closest neighbors were at least an eighth of a mile away.
“Okay,” Cole said. “I’ll go, but I’m still going to be there for Violet and for my child. I will do right by them. You have my word.”
He kissed my cheek and then showed himself out. Part of me wanted to grab onto him and make him stay because maybe I did need a little moral support here, but I knew my parents would never listen to me if he was still standing there. If he still stood in their home.
I knew then that was the end of their friendship. It broke my heart because they had been friends for so long, and now, here I was, ruining their friendship by getting knocked up. But I loved him. I loved him so much, and I couldn’t help it.
“How the hell could you?” my mother started to say.
I looked at her. “What Mom? What did I do now?” I was tired of the way she made me feel.
“You slept with a man that’s old enough to be your father, not to mention a serial womanizer. Or the fact that he’s your dad’s friend. I know his reputation, and I don’t even know how you could want to be with someone like that, let alone be reckless and get yourself knocked up by him!” My mom was starting to yell, and I cringed. I felt like a child, not like an adult, and I hated it.
She was making Cole out to look like some sort of evil person. It wasn’t fair.
“He’s not a serial womanizer,” I said, sticking up for him. Even though I was still upset at what he had done, I felt I couldn’t just stand here and let my mom attack him this way. He deserved to have someone stick up for him.
My mom’s eyes filled with tears, and as she began to speak, I could hear her voice crack. I didn’t understand why she was being so dramatic. I guessed that was just her thing, though. She always freaked out. Even over the smallest of incidents, she would lose her shit.
I remembered a time when I was five years old. Our housekeeper, Marie, had given me a cup of grape juice. My mom specifically lectured me on how not to spill it on my white dress because then it would be ruined and would have to go in the trash. She went on and on about how she had special ordered it for me and that it would completely break her heart if I ruined it.
I promised her I wasn’t going to spill it, and then as I took a sip, a very small drop slid down my chin and landed right on the top of my dress. It was minuscule and more than likely; no one would even realize it was there. But my mother lost it. She took the cup from me and poured the rest down the sink. She told me I couldn’t have juice or nice dresses ever again because I wasn’t responsible.
“I had plans for you,” she said.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down and choose my next words carefully, but it was hard.
“You had plans for me?” I asked her. “What the fuck does that mean? What about what I wanted?”
She looked at me as if I was dumb and didn’t actually know what I was saying.
“What you wanted was not best for our family,” she said, her voice still raised more than it should be.
Her sentence knocked me off guard. I didn’t know how to respond to that without telling her to shut the fuck up. Because it was bullshit that she could even think she had the right to plan my life out for me. I wasn’t a child anymore, and I desperately wanted her to know that.
“Now who will want you? You’re the girl that the billionaire knocked up. Do you really think he will stay with you when that baby gets here? You think he wants to be tied down? You think he is going to stick around and play happy family with you? No, he isn’t. Wake the fuck up, Violet. And get your shit together.”
“We are in love! He will stand by me, Mother!” I yelled back at her. I was tired of being treated like a child. I wasn’t a child, and she was really making my blood boil. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to have to deal with any of this. I just wanted to go home and hide under a rock. I wanted to hide away from the world.
My mom laughed, and I clenched my fists. I was getting so angry. I knew it wasn’t good for my baby, but why would my mom care? It’s not like she would want to make sure my unborn child, her grandchild, was okay. She just wanted to belittle me. To make me feel like a child she could control again.
My dad was staring at me. I could feel it. I wouldn’t turn to look at him because even out of the corner of my eye, I could see how disappointed and sad his eyes were. Why would I want to look at him and remember him looking at me like that?
They were treating me as if I had just committed some sort of crime. Like I had just murdered someone and told them about it. I had never ever been in trouble with the law, and I had always been very obedient. I had always listened to both of them and followed their strict rules.
Cole had been gone for just fifteen minutes, but I wished he was still there. I couldn’t handle this, my parents and the way they were treating me. The housekeeper brought my dad another brandy. I didn’t think he needed another drink, and I was not sure I wanted to stick around to see how he was after that one.
“How could you do this to your father?” my mom asked. The question knocked me off guard. It made my blood boil. I did not even look at her. I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. I grabbed my purse from the coat rack and walked out of the front door without pausing or looking back. I didn’t need this. I didn’t need them. I kept thinking how I could do this with Cole. We could do this on our own, and we didn’t need their condescending voices breathing down our necks. We just needed each other. We needed to have faith in only each other.
It was dark, and I had no real way home, but I didn’t care. I needed to walk. I needed to clear my mind and try to get my feelings under control.
My whole life, people told me I should feel so lucky to have parents who cared about me, but if only they realized that my parents only ever truly cared about the image I set up for myself. Anything I did wrong was never discusse
d at home other than, “Do you understand the sort of reputation you are building for yourself? Do you understand what the tabloids are going to say?” It was endless lectures on how to do the right thing, or how I can make choices differently to be a good adult.
All I ever wanted was the type of parents I could talk to. I saw my friends in high school had that. They were close to their parents. Their parents were open books. I envied them. I had people tell me they wished they had my perfect life. But I wished I could have shown them what really went on behind closed doors.
I walked, and I walked until I couldn’t walk anymore. But by that point, I was standing outside of Cole’s house. I hadn’t realized I was headed this way until I was already at the front door. I wondered for a second if he was even here. Because there could have been a chance that he went back to New York. He could have gone back to his penthouse. But we were in the Hampton’s. So there had to have been a chance that he would still be there.
