Identify

by Lesley Choyce

  Just then I heard the upstairs door open. “Ethan,” my mom yelled down, “tell your friend we want her to stay for dinner.”

  Gabe shook her head no, but I shouted back, “Sure, Mom. What are we having?”

  “Lasagna. It has meat in it. I hope she’s not a vegetarian.”

  I looked at Gabe again, and she was still shaking her head no.

  “No, she’s not a vegetarian. Ow!” Gabe had punched me in the arm.

  “Good,” my mom said, and I heard her close the door.

  “I meant no,” Gabe told me with a stern look. “As in, no, I don’t want to stay for dinner.”

  “But you’re not a vegetarian, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Then no excuses.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was expecting the dinner to be uncomfortable, and it was.

  My mom tried to ask Gabe questions about herself and her family and only got one- or two-word answers. My dad kept giving her weird looks. I knew he was trying to figure her out.

  “I’m sorry the lasagna is a little overdone,” my mom said. She wasn’t a very good cook.

  “It’s perfect,” my dad countered. “Ethan’s mother is a fabulous cook.” I guessed my dad was trying to be on his best behavior.

  “Anything interesting happen today for you two?” my mom asked.

  Without looking up, I gave my usual answer to this traditional question. “Not really.”

  “That’s funny,” my dad said. “Because we had a phone call from a police officer a few minutes ago. He wanted to talk to you, Ethan.”

  Oh shit, I thought. This is not good.

  My dad saw the look on my face. “Don’t worry. I asked if you were in some kind of trouble, and he said no. It just seemed a little funny. Do you know what it could be about, Ethan?”

  I looked at Gabe. I really didn’t want to get into it.

  Gabe stopped eating and took a deep breath. Then, to my great surprise, she started telling them about the death threat at school and the box with the doll. She finished by saying, “But Ethan has been there for me every step of the way. He was the one who insisted I go to the police.”

  My father looked stunned. “That’s terrible,” he said. “Why would anyone do that stuff to you?” I could tell he was deeply disturbed.

  Gabe shrugged. “I guess it’s because I’m, well, different. The way I look, the way I act.”

  Gabe had my father’s full attention now. I could see that it was ever so slowly starting to sink in. I expected him to say something really stupid. Instead, he said, “They can’t do that to you. It’s not right.”

  “Maybe I’ll just have to get used to it,” Gabe said. “Maybe I already have.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have to put up with that. No one should. I had an uncle. Stuff like that was happening to him because he was different. I guess today you’d say he was gay.”

  “What did he do about it?”

  I’d heard the stories about Uncle Trevor before. My father always got really angry and upset when he talked about what had happened to Trevor. He had been hounded and taunted his entire school life and had eventually committed suicide. My dad had never gotten over it.

  He looked at me, and for a second I thought he could read my mind. He put his fork down and said, “You’re welcome to stay for a bit after dinner, Gabe. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll give you a ride home.”

  Gabe just nodded, but I could tell from her face that she and my dad had connected for a moment. It was a side of my father I hadn’t seen in a long time.

  Gabe did stay for an hour or so, and we played some more pool. “I like your parents,” Gabe told me at one point. “They’re really cool.”

  “I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me in my entire life.”

  “Well, someone just did.”

  When we went back upstairs, my mom said she’d take Gabe home. My dad was standing there with a sheepish look on his face. He didn’t have to say anything, but he did anyway. “I forgot I lost my license,” he told Gabe. “I was bad.” He looked and sounded like a guilty little kid.

  And then Gabe did the most unexpected thing. She walked over to my dad and gave him a hug.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next day was Saturday. I called Officer Newton on his cell phone to see if anything new had come up. “No,” he said, “nothing new, and I’m sorry about calling your house and speaking to your dad. I hope it didn’t cause you any grief with your parents.”

  I told him about the dinner conversation, even the part about Uncle Trevor.

  “It’s a familiar story,” he said. “Sad but true. How well do you know Gabe?”

  “I think I know her pretty well. She’s strong.”

  Office Newton paused for a moment and then said, “Sometimes people act strong. But then sometimes, when the harassment continues, it becomes too much for them.”

  “What should I do then?”

  “Be there for her. And see if you can figure out who’s giving her a hard time. Call me if you need me.”

  I promised I would, but as I hung up I felt a new kind of panic building inside me. I felt the weight of the responsibility that had been placed on me, that I’d placed on myself. And I wasn’t sure if I could handle it. I couldn’t reach Gabe all day. I dropped by her house twice and again on Sunday, but no one was home. When Monday morning rolled around, I was afraid something bad had happened.

  On my way to school I swallowed one of the pills. I needed some help to get through the day. By the time I got there, I was feeling a little more relaxed, with a mild fog rolling through my brain.

  I waited by room 303, Gabe’s first class of the day. When the bell rang she still hadn’t shown up. Damn.

  I thought about calling Officer Newton again. I sat down on the floor of the hallway and just stared at my phone, trying to decide what to do.

  I tried calling Gabe again. This time she answered.

  “Gabe! Are you okay?”

  “Yes. But Ethan, I think you need to keep your distance from me. I want you to leave me alone.”

  “What happened? Where are you?”

  “I’m sorry. I just want you to stop trying to help me. I’m dragging you into something that is my problem, not yours. And your helping…well, that just seems to complicate things.”

  I didn’t understand why she was suddenly pushing me away. “But I want to help you.”

  “Just back off,” Gabe said and then hung up.

  I tried calling back, but she didn’t answer. I reached in my pocket. I needed just one more pill if I was going to make it through today. The fog increased ever so slightly, but enough to drown out the confusion swirling around in my brain.

  I survived the day without losing it, but as the drug started to wear off, I decided I had to see Gabe. I walked to her house and saw a car in the driveway. Her mother answered the door. She’d only met me once before.

  “You’re Ethan, right?”

  “Yes. Can I see Gabe?”

  “Gabriella doesn’t want to see you. We’re keeping her home from school for a while. She told us what happened. And I know you’ve been trying to be helpful, but her father and I think you should stay out of it. We want to handle this our way.”

  I couldn’t figure out what had changed since Gabe came to my house for dinner. It didn’t make any sense.

  “Is she okay?” I asked.

  “She’s here, and she’s safe. That’s all that matters.”

  “Why can’t I see her?”

  “I’m sorry. Goodbye.” And she closed the door in my face.

  That night, sitting in my bedroom, I felt sadder and more alone than I’d ever felt in my life. I was sure I was losing Gabe, losing her one way or another. In the morning, when she didn’t show up at school again, I went looking for her. No one answered the door at her house. At first I thought she might be hiding in her room. I tried the door, but it was locked. I checked the back door and even the first-floor windows
, but they were all locked as well. I considered breaking in but immediately realized that was a stupid idea.

  I almost took one of the pills in my pocket to ease my nervousness. But I decided this day was going to be different. If I was going to figure out a way to help Gabe, I needed a clear head. To help me stay strong, I dropped the bag in the first garbage can I came across. Something felt very right about that.

  I headed for the only place I thought Gabe might be if she wasn’t hiding out in her room.

  I swung open the gate to the old cemetery and walked in. It was a cool morning, and there was dew on the green grass and on the gravestones.

  I spotted Gabe far in the back, sitting beneath a giant oak tree. She was wearing a backpack. She watched me walking toward her. She looked very, very sad.

  “Hey,” I said, sitting down on the ground beside her.

  “Hey. How’d you know I’d be here?” “I tried your house and no one was home.”

  “My parents think I’m in school. They dropped me off there, but I didn’t go in.”

  “I came by yesterday too. Did your mom tell you?”

  “No, she didn’t. But they’re both acting really weird now.”

  I wanted to know why Gabe had stopped talking to me. I wanted to know what had changed.

  “They say I shouldn’t trust anyone, Ethan. Even you. They took me to see that counselor again. I like talking to her, but my parents don’t think she’s helping me any. My mom’s suggesting I change schools. And maybe that we should move.”

  “That’s insane. You can’t just run away like that.”

  “Something else happened.”

  “Tell me.”

  Gabe took off her backpack and slowly opened it up. She took out something wrapped in a small towel. A dead pigeon. I didn’t understand.

  “This was in our mailbox. Someone killed it and put it there.”

  “I’m so sorry. Why would anyone do that?”

  “It’s another threat. But it means more. It also means someone has been watching me. Watching us.”

  I remembered the other day, when Gabe had brought me to the cemetery. How she’d shown me the pigeons flying overhead and then fed corn to them.

  Gabe looked down at the dead bird. “Sometimes I hate this town and the people in it,” she said. “And sometimes I hate my life.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I found some branches on the ground and we used them to dig a grave for the pigeon beneath the big trees at the back of the graveyard. Gabe let me hold her after that, but I still had the feeling I was losing her. I was sure something bad was going to happen. But I didn’t know what to do.

  That’s when I realized we were being watched. Gabe had her eyes closed, and she might have been crying, because I could feel her body shaking a little. As I held her, I looked up and saw the car. The same old blue Honda of the Barbie-doll incident. And near the car, just outside the fence, I saw a guy smoking a cigarette.

  Without saying anything to Gabe, I jumped up and ran across the cemetery toward the gate. The guy saw me and ran for his car. As he was climbing in, I got a pretty good look at him. He was older, but someone who went to my school. I didn’t know his name, but I was sure I’d seen him in the halls. So this was the creep harassing Gabe.

  I made it to the gate just as the car sped off. I caught the license plate this time, but I still ran like hell as the car sped away. The car turned at the corner, but I wasn’t about to give up. I ran across someone’s lawn and into their backyard and then through someone else’s front yard and out onto the next street. I could see the car at a red light half a block away.

  “Please, light. Stay red,” I said, still running.

  The light listened. It stayed red, and the guy in the Honda didn’t see me. I ran up from behind and yanked open the passenger door. I got in.

  I could barely breathe and didn’t really have a plan for what to do next. The guy was totally freaked out. “Get the hell out of my car!” he screamed. I knew any second he was going to punch me in the face. I wasn’t much of a fighter, and I was totally out of my element.

  “Yeah, I’ll get out,” I said, grabbing the keys from the ignition and jumping back onto the street. I heaved his keys as far as I could into some bushes. Then I tried to get control of my breathing. There just wasn’t enough air to fill my lungs.

  I stood there and watched in slow motion as the guy got out of his car, looking shocked and angry. He was clenching and unclenching his fists as he walked around the front of his car and toward me. The light had changed, and now other drivers were honking their horns. One car started to drive around the Honda and nearly smashed into an oncoming car. Both drivers pounded hard on their horns and shouted at us. But no one was getting out of their cars to get involved.

  This guy was one mean, ugly character. The look on his face scared the shit out of me, but I didn’t run. Some people across the street had stopped and were staring at us. Honda Guy noticed them watching. He gave me the finger and said, “This isn’t over, pissant.” And he went searching for his keys.

  That’s when I saw Gabe running up the street toward us. I didn’t want her anywhere near this creep, so I started running toward her.

  Halfway down the block I met up with her. Drivers were still blowing their horns at the Honda parked in the road.

  “You okay?” Gabe asked.

  “I’m perfect,” I said, trying to get my adrenaline in check. “Just trying to teach an asshole a lesson.” That line was so unlike anything I’d ever said before.

  Gabe looked at me and then over at the guy in the bushes. She had a funny look on her face.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I know who that is,” she said.

  “You know him?”

  “Not really. I guess I don’t know him at all. But I know who he is.”

  “I’ve seen him at school, but I don’t know his name.”

  “Tyler,” she said with contempt in her voice. “Tyler Macey. He’s a senior. A few years ago he came on to me. I was only thirteen at the time. I was flattered. He was older and he was a jock, and I was so young. But he quickly became pushy. Really pushy.”

  We both watched as Tyler found his keys and headed back to his car. Before he got in, he looked over at the two of us and shook his fist. “What a jerk,” I said.

  “It wasn’t long after he came on to me,” Gabe said, “that I decided to change my look. Maybe at first I thought it was to avoid attracting creepy guys like that. But then I decided I liked my new look. It just helped me feel more at home in my body. I know that sounds crazy, but it helped me feel more like who I really was. And as a bonus, guys like Tyler stopped hitting on me.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  I tried to convince Gabe we should go back to the police. At first she resisted, so we just walked around for a bit. Cooling down, I guess you’d say.

  Finally, after maybe twenty minutes, Gabe stopped walking and said, “Ethan, I appreciate that you’re trying to help me. I really do. I just have a feeling this sort of thing won’t go away. If it’s not Tyler, it will be someone else.”

  “If it is someone else, we’ll nail him too. Let’s talk to the police. The guy we spoke to before.”

  Something was different when we walked into the police station this time. Officer Newton was in his office. He was just getting off the phone, and he looked really rattled. But he waved us in.

  I explained about the dead pigeon and about Tyler watching us in the cemetery. Gabe told him about the incident a few years earlier and how she’d had to forcibly push Tyler away.

  Officer Newton looked really uncomfortable now, not at all like the jovial guy I had met the night my dad got arrested. “I appreciate hearing all of this,” he said. “However, I just got off the phone with another officer here, and we have a bit of a problem.” Gabe and I looked at each other. “This Tyler Macey you’re talking about came in here about half an hour ago to file a complaint.”

  “A complaint ab
out what?”

  Officer Newton nodded at me. “You, Ethan. He said you attacked him. That you jumped into his car and started beating on him and then threw his car keys away.”

  This caught both Gabe and me so off guard that neither of us could speak.

  “But I told you what really happened,” I offered in my defense. “And I never beat on him, although I sure would have loved to.”

  Officer Newton put his hands in the air and shook his head. “I’m sorry. He’s pressing charges. We have to look into this.”

  “You’re not going to arrest Ethan, are you?” Gabe asked.

  Officer Newton seemed really uncomfortable now. “Not exactly,” he said and then turned to me. “But we will have to take a statement from you and have your parents come pick you up.”

  “What about the note in my locker?” Gabe asked. “What about the doll and the dead pigeon? Why can’t you charge Tyler? Isn’t he the criminal here?”

  Newton pursed his lips and then took a deep breath. “I told my supervisor about the note and the doll, and he spoke with our prosecutor. They both said there is no real evidence it was Tyler. I feel bad, but there’s no way we can prove that he’s the one who did it.”

  “But we know it was him,” I said.

  “It’s your word against his,” Newton said. “Just like the car incident.”

  A female officer took a recorded statement from Gabe in a separate room while Officer Newton recorded my version of the day’s events in his office.

  When my mom and dad showed up together, my mom hugged me and asked if I was okay. My dad seemed more concerned about Gabe. “What about you?” he asked her. “Are you all right? You’re not hurt, are you?”

  “I’m fine,” she told him. “Please, just get us out of here.”

  In the car, I did all the talking, explaining what had happened. My mom just looked straight ahead at the road as she drove. My dad kept repeating, “It’s just not right.”