by Jan Guillou
Outside in the world of men, things were no longer as simple as before; it took more than chopping off a king’s head to become king oneself. Her betrothed Knut Eriksson would manage it in time, and with the help of God and his dead father, Erik the Holy. But it would not be accomplished in the blink of an eye.
So immediately after the betrothal ale, Knut had seen to it that his betrothed Cecilia Blanca was sent to the convent, where she could find sanctuary while the men fought it out. Even in an enemy cloister her life and limb would not be endangered, although it would not be an enjoyable time. One stumbling block was that the few convents in the country were all associated with the Sverker clan; that was something that would have to be changed in the future. But that was how things now stood, with great uncertainty about what was to come. It would be bleak indeed for them both if the Sverkers were victorious; maybe they would never get out, never have children and servants to manage, never be able to stride freely across their own fields, ride horses, or sing worldly songs.
Yet the joy would be all the greater if their side won, if her beloved Knut were proclaimed king and then peace descended upon the realm. Then all the dark times would be transformed to blinding white. Then Cecilia Blanca would become the true consort of her beloved Knut and become queen. This was the threat that Mother Rikissa, the sisters, and the stupid geese among the novices, worst of all that Helena Sverkersdotter, tried to ignore.
Cecilia Blanca thought that the two of them, friends only to each other, had to pray for this every day: pray that the Folkungs and the Eriks would prevail. Their lives and their happiness depended more on this victory than on anything else.
Although they could never be sure. When peace was made, many peculiar things could happen, and the men often found that it was easier to keep peace through marriage than to win it by the sword. So if the Sverkers won, they might very well arrange a suitable bridal ale with any one of the enemy’s women. If that were to happen, the two Cecilias might be collected one miserable day and married off to some old men in Linköping—an unkind fate, but still not as unpleasant as doing the cleaning and suffering under Mother Rikissa’s scourge.
Cecilia Rosa, who was some years younger than her new and only friend, sometimes had a hard time following Blanca’s stern train of thought. She protested more than once that for her part, she hoped for nothing more than that her beloved would come back just as he had sworn to do. Blanca, on the other hand, had no time for such sentimental talk. Love might be pleasant to dream about, but they couldn’t dream themselves out of their imprisonment at Gudhem. They might be taken from there to a bridal ale, and then they would see if their husband was to be a drooling old codger from Linköping or a handsome young man. But nothing in this earthly life could be worse than being forced to show obedience each day to Mother Rikissa.
Cecilia Rosa said that nothing could be worse than betraying her vows of love, but Cecilia Blanca had no idea what she meant.
The two young women were altogether different. Cecilia, the red-haired Rosa, was quiet in both speech and thought, as if she dreamed a good deal. Cecilia, the blonde Blanca, was choleric in her speech and had many hard thoughts of revenge for the day when she would become King Knut’s queen. She often repeated what she had sworn, to make the stupid goose Helena regret the lashes she had delivered more than anything else in her life. Perhaps the two Cecilias would not have grown so close to each other if they had met out in the free world, say if they had been the mistresses of neighboring farms. But since life had now brought them to Gudhem among all these malicious, cowardly, and hostile women, their bond of friendship had been forged as if in a glowing furnace, linking them forever.
They both wanted to rebel, but neither of them wanted to go to the carcer, the cold hole in the ground with the rats. They wanted to break as many rules as they could, but it was vexing to be discovered and punished, since what stung most about the punishment was the malicious pleasure of the other young women.
With more than a little cunning they found more ways to cause trouble as time passed. Cecilia Rosa sang perfectly on-key and more beautifully than anyone else at Gudhem, and she demonstrated her ability as often as she could. Cecilia Blanca was no slouch of a singer either, but she tried to spoil the song as often as she could, especially during the sleepy lauds and prime services, by singing loudly and a bit off-key, singing too fast or too slow. It was hard to sing falsely in that manner, but Cecilia Blanca became increasingly skilled at doing so, and it was something for which she could never be punished. In this way they took turns; Cecilia Rosa sometimes sang so that the others stopped their own singing, put to shame by the beauty of her voice. At other times, when Cecilia Rosa felt out of form or too tired, Cecilia Blanca would sing and ruin everything. She would be chided and then promise with her head bowed that she would improve and learn to sing as well as all the rest.
Over time the two friends grew quite skilled at their art of creating annoyance during the seven or eight song sessions each day.
Cecilia Rosa played the part of the weak and submissive one, and always replied in a low voice with her head bowed when spoken to by Mother Rikissa or the prioress. Cecilia Blanca did the opposite, answering in a loud voice with head held high, even though her speech was such that the words themselves were unimpeachable.
Each day, prandium was eaten at exactly twelve minutes past four in the afternoon, a repast of bread and soup. They all had to eat in silence, while the lector read texts aloud that were considered especially appropriate for young women. Cecilia Blanca would often make a point of loudly slurping up a piece of bread dipped in the soup just as the reading reached a crucial point. This would cause some of the Sverker maidens to giggle aloud, sometimes to draw Mother Rikissa’s attention to the naughtiness of Cecilia Blanca’s behavior. But Mother Rikissa would be more strict in her reproaches to those who giggled than to the one who slurped.
After prandium all the women had to walk in a procession from the refectorium to the church for prayers of thanksgiving, singing along the way. The intent was that they were to walk with great dignity. But Cecilia Blanca often had occasion to clear her throat loudly, to clump along and act like a lout, or pretend to stumble and disturb the order of the procession. Next to her walked Cecilia Rosa, because the two of them always had to bring up the rear. She was singing with her gaze fixed on the distance and a dreamy expression that seemed almost heavenly.
It was like a game the two played, constantly talking about their little tricks and trying to think up new ones. But since they talked to each other even when it was forbidden, Mother Rikissa would often punish them, but not as hard as one might expect. And she no longer allowed any of the worldly maidens to wield the scourge. She did the whipping herself, first Cecilia Blanca, then Cecilia Rosa. The strange thing was that the longer their rebellion went on, the less Mother Rikissa countered it with sternness, which at first they couldn’t understand.
To both of them Mother Rikissa was an evil person who had no belief in the fear of God which she was always trying to drum into others. She was as ugly as a witch, with big protruding teeth and rough hands, and they were sure she would have had to hold a very powerful position in the Sverker clan to be married off with those looks. She could hardly have gained power through the marriage bed; it was much easier to do so by becoming an abbess.
And since both Cecilias were women at their loveliest age, with slender waists and eyes full of life, they believed that this was precisely what irked Mother Rikissa most.
When the summer came and the masses of Ascension Day were past, Mother Rikissa changed again. Now she found constant reason to punish the two hated Cecilias. Since bread and water didn’t seem to have much effect on what she called their roguishness, she employed the scourge almost daily. And now she forced the Sverker maidens, but never again Helena Sverkersdotter, to carry out the whipping. Of course none of the girls struck as hard as Helena had done when Cecilia Blanca issued her curse, but the repeated punishmen
t still resulted in more pain in their backs.
It was Cecilia Blanca who at last figured out how they could escape this misery. She figured that Mother Rikissa would not be honest enough to follow the rule of inviolable secrecy in the confessional, and that she would worm information out of any father confessor who came to Gudhem.
The confessor who came most often was a young vicarius from the cathedral in Skara. Even the worldly maidens had to make confession to him. But they were never allowed to see him, because he sat inside the church, and the one who was confessing sat out in the arcade next to a window with a wooden grating and a cloth between them.
One mild morning in early summer Cecilia Blanca found herself at confession, overcome by a feeling of nervousness, for she knew quite well that what she intended to do was a serious sin; it was a mockery of the holy sacrament of confession. On the other hand, she consoled herself, if this stratagem succeeded then it would show that it was actually Mother Rikissa and the vicarius who were mocking the confessional.
“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned,” she whispered so rapidly that the words stumbled over each other. Then she drew a deep breath in anticipation of what she had to do.
“My child, my dear daughter,” replied the vicarius with a sigh on the other side of the grating, “Gudhem is not a place that induces one to grave sins, but let us hear your confession.”
“I’ve been thinking evil thoughts about my fellow sisters,” Cecilia Blanca continued with a will, now that she had taken the leap into sin. “I have vindictive thoughts and I can’t forgive them.”
“What and whom can’t you forgive?” the vicarius asked cautiously.
“The Sverker girls and their lot. They run around telling tales, and they wield the scourge when my friend and I are repeatedly punished because of their gossip. And forgive me, father, but I must speak the truth. I think that if I become queen, then I will never be able to forgive either them or Mother Rikissa. I think that I will have to take a lengthy and harsh revenge; I think that their kinsmen’s farms will burn and that Gudhem will be emptied of all folk, and not one stone will be left standing at this place.”
“Who is your friend?” asked the vicarius with a slight quaver in his voice.
“Cecilia Algotsdotter, father.”
“The one who was betrothed in the Folkung clan to a man named Arn Magnusson?”
“Yes, exactly, father, the one Birger Brosa holds so dear. She is my friend, and she is tormented by everyone here the same as I am, and this is why I’m filled with these unworthy and sinful thoughts of revenge.”
“As long as you are at Gudhem, my daughter, you must follow the holy rules that apply here,” replied the vicarius, trying to sound stern. But there was a clear note of uncertainty and fear in his voice that did not escape Cecilia Blanca’s attention.
“I know, father, I know that this is my sin, and I seek God’s forgiveness,” said Cecilia Blanca in a low, demure voice, but with a broad smile on her face; the vicarius could no more see her than she could see him.
It took a moment before the vicarius answered, and Cecilia Blanca considered it a good sign that her ploy was having an effect.
“You have to seek peace in your soul, my daughter,” he said at last in a strained voice. “You have to reconcile yourself with your lot in life, like all the rest here at Gudhem. I tell you now that you must meditate on your sinful thoughts, you must say twenty Pater Nosters and forty Ave Marias and you must refrain from speaking a word to anyone for twenty-four hours while you repent your sin. Do you understand?”
“Yes, father, I understand,” whispered Cecilia Blanca, biting her lip to keep from breaking into laughter.
“I forgive you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Virgin Mary,” whispered the vicarius, obviously shaken.
Cecilia Blanca hurried off along the arcade in jubilation, but with her head demurely bowed. At the other side of the cloister she found her friend Cecilia Rosa hiding by the fountain in the lavatorium. Cecilia Blanca was red in the face with excitement.
“That ploy did some good, by God I think it helped,” she whispered as she came in, looked around, and then embraced her friend as if they were free women in the other world, an embrace that would have cost them dearly if anyone had seen.
“How so, how can you know that?” asked Cecilia Rosa as she anxiously pushed her friend away and looked around.
“Twenty Our Fathers and forty Hail Marys for confessing such hatred—that’s nothing at all! And only one day of silence. Don’t you see? He was scared, and now he’ll run and spill it all to that witch Rikissa. Now you have to do the same thing!”
“I don’t know, I don’t know if I dare…” said Cecilia Rosa. “I have nothing to use as a threat. You can threaten them with the prospect of becoming a vengeful queen, but I…with my twenty-year sentence, what can I threaten them with?”
“With the Folkungs and with Birger Brosa!” whispered Cecilia Blanca excitedly. “I think something has happened outside or is about to happen. Threaten them with the Folkungs!”
Cecilia Rosa envied her friend’s courage. It was a bold venture they had undertaken, and Cecilia Rosa could never have done it by herself. But now the first move had been made. Cecilia Blanca had taken the risks for them both, and now Cecilia Rosa had to do the same.
“Trust me, I will do it too,” she whispered, crossing herself and pulling her hood over her head. She walked off rubbing her hands together as if she had just washed them in the fountain. She walked along the arcade to the confessional without hesitation, and she did as friendship now demanded she do; she overcame her fear of committing the unprecedented act of mocking the confessional.
She was not quite sure what part of their plan had actually worked, but the fact that it did work was certain.
Silence still surrounded the two Cecilias at Gudhem; no one spoke to them, but neither did anyone look at them with the same hatred as before. It was as though everyone’s eyes had become frightened and furtive. And none of the other maidens gossiped about them any longer or reported that they had spoken during the periods of enforced silence, which they now began to do quite openly. Without shame they could walk and converse like free people outside, although they were walking in the arcade inside Gudhem.
It was a brief period of unexpected happiness that also brought a tantalizing feeling of uncertainty. The others obviously knew so much more and did what they could to keep their two enemies in ignorance. But something big was happening outside the walls; otherwise the scourge would have been taken out long ago.
The two Cecilias now found greater joy in their shared tasks, for no one prevented them from working together at the looms, although it was now obvious that Cecilia Blanca was certainly no beginner who needed help. They had started working with linen thread now that winter was long past. They received help from Sister Leonore, who came from southern climes and was the one responsible for the convent’s vegetable garden outside the walls as well as for the garden inside the walls and all the rosebushes that grew along the arcade. Sister Leonore taught them how to mix various colors and dye the linen, and they began to experiment with different weaving patterns. What they made could not be used inside Gudhem, of course, but it could be sold on the outside.
They turned to Sister Leonore all the more, because she had no friends in the lands of the Goths and thus had nothing to do with the feuds that were going on outside the walls. From her they learned how to take care of a garden in the summertime, how each plant had to be nurtured like a child, and how too much water was sometimes just as harmful as too little.
Mother Rikissa left them alone with Sister Leonore, and in this way a sort of equilibrium was restored at Gudhem; the enemies had been separated although they all lived under the same roof, recited the same prayers, and sang the same hymns.
But the two Cecilias were not allowed to go outside except to the garden just beyond the south wall. Mother Rikissa was hard as stone on that point. And when
two sisters and all the novices were going to the midsummer market in Skara, Cecilia Rosa and Cecilia Blanca were forced to stay behind at Gudhem.
They clenched their teeth when told and once again felt a fierce hatred for Mother Rikissa. At the same time they knew that there was something going on that they didn’t understand, something the others seemed to know about but refused to discuss.
Later that summer something happened that was as frightening as it was surprising. Bishop Bengt in Skara had come rushing over to Gudhem and locked himself in with Mother Rikissa in the abbess’s own rooms. Whether it was merely a lucky coincidence or whether one thing had to do with the other, the Cecilias never found out.
But some hours after Bishop Bengt arrived at Gudhem, a group of armed riders approached. The alarm was sounded on the bell, and the gates were closed. Since the riders came from the east, the two Cecilias hurried up to the dormitorium to look out the windows up there. They were filled with hope, almost jubilant. But when they spied the colors of the riders’ mantles and shields, they felt as if death itself had seized hold of their hearts. Some of the riders were bloody, others gravely wounded and leaning forward over their saddles, and some were physically unhurt but with wildly staring eyes. All of them belonged to the enemy.
Up by the barred cloister gate the riders came to a halt, but their leader began to yell something about turning over the Folkung whores. Cecilia Rosa and Cecilia Blanca, who were now hanging halfway out the dormitorium windows so they could hear everything, didn’t know whether to start praying or stay there to hear more. Cecilia Rosa wanted to pray for her life. Cecilia Blanca absolutely wanted to hear everything that was said. She thought they had to learn why wounded enemies would attempt an act as serious as abducting women from a convent. So they both stayed in the window and pricked up their ears.
After a while Bishop Bengt came out and the gate was locked behind him. He spoke in a low voice and with dignity to the enemy riders. The two Cecilias in the window could hear very little of what was said, but the gist of the exchange was that it was an unforgivable sin to direct violence against the peace of the cloister. And that he, the bishop, would rather be struck down by the sword than allow any such thing. Then the men spoke so low that nothing could be heard from the window. It ended with the entire group slowly and reluctantly turning their horses and riding off to the south.
