by Zoë Lane
“Lacey…”
“It’s not fair that Landyn gets to have memories of her and I don’t. Doesn’t matter that he’d rather not have them. At least he remembers…”
Usually anything to do with Landyn wasn’t fair. Not sure he deserved three Heisman Trophies. Maybe one, tops. But three? I was lucky I’d gotten mine in my freshman year.
“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t really know my mother all that well either. She…she was locked up a lot for drugs. Don’t know my dad.”
“Who raised you?”
“Grandmother. Like a lot of us kids where I grew up. Can’t find parents anywhere. Makes me wonder, sometimes, why they have kids.”
Her arm went around my waist, and she leaned in closer. “I’m sorry, Sean. I don’t know which is worse. Not having a mother around, or growing up seeing yours behind bars. I can’t even imagine what my mother would be doing, but you could see yours.”
I nodded. “My grandmother took us to see her every month. So we wouldn’t forget her, and so we’d be scared to do anything wrong.” My eyes stung. I sniffed. “All she ever wanted was money. She’d get mad at us for giving her birthday or Christmas cards. It was always, ‘where’s my money’?”
“Did you ever give her any?”
“Yeah, once. My grandmother told us not to, but when I was in high school, I went to see her by myself and gave her some money. Told her I was going to college and I probably wouldn’t see her for a while.”
“What did she say?”
“Told me to bring her more next month.” I laughed ruefully. “I told her that was going to be my last visit before the semester started. Single-track mind. Never told me she loved me or nothing.”
Her second arm came around my front and she nuzzled her face into my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Sean.”
I hugged her back. “I’m sorry for you, too.”
“You said ‘us.’ You have siblings?”
“Yeah, a younger sister and brother.”
“Are they still living at home?”
“No, thank God. They’re at college. All three of us. Grandmother was so proud. Said her kids never went. Said she knew when we were born that we’d be different. Said we rarely fussed. ‘Content babies are smart babies. They always observing,’ she said.”
She leaned her head back. A smile lit her face. “Your grandmother sounds amazing.”
I nodded, losing myself in that smile. Her lips were small, but they were curvy, and I liked the way they looked. “She is. You should meet her.”
She sucked in her lips, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Maybe I will.”
I leaned in and caught her mouth with mine. She stiffened slightly, but she didn’t stop holding me. I moved my mouth over hers and parted it wide, filling her mouth with my tongue. She groaned and leaned into me.
I lifted her up and she straddled my lap. Her arms went around my neck while my hands firmly clutched her ass cheeks, pushing her into my groin. She moaned at the contact. Slowly, I kneaded her into me while we fought each other to control the kiss.
“I owe you a lap dance,” she said and then thrust her tongue back into my mouth.
“Nobody’s here,” I said with a growl. My hands came around her waist and traveled up her stomach in search of her breasts.
She grabbed them and leaned back, breaking off our kiss. “This place probably has cameras.” She looked around.
All I could focus on were her swollen lips and how hard my dick was. I was going to have this woman.
She slid off me, and I kept my hands on her waist to steady her. “I want to see you,” I said, standing up.
She grimaced. “Probably not going to be at Landyn’s place.”
She was right. There was no way he’d let me in, especially if it was to see Lacey.
“Then you can come to my place. Got a new one downtown.”
Her eyes lit up. “You do?”
I grinned. “Yup. Right in the same building you’re in.”
She bit her lip and came up a step. Her head came right below my chin. “Is that right?”
“Mm-hmm. Right across the hall from you.”
She rolled her eyes and I chuckled. “I swear I didn’t know ’till the other week. Been spending a lot of time at my grandmothers fixing stuff for her. Does Landyn watch you all the time?”
She shook her head. “Tries to, but when he comes home, he’s usually sitting in front of the TV, or he’s over at Rose’s.”
I rubbed my chin. “Can you encourage him to go over Rose’s more often?”
She frowned for a second and then smiled. “Sure.”
“What was that?”
“What?”
“You frowned. You don’t like Rose.”
“Eh…” She shrugged. “I don’t know if I can trust her either.”
“Why?”
“She’s a…what is she? A crisis manager. Her job is to lie and stuff. Right?”
“You think she’s lying about your mom, though?”
She looked down and sucked in her lips. “Probably not,” she said softly.
“Okay, well…” I rubbed her shoulders. “Do you want to see me?”
Her face came back up. “Yeah, I do.” Her hand trailed down my stomach, lingering at my waist. “I owe you.”
“Mm-hmm.” I nodded.
She skipped down a few steps. “Gotta get back to work or Desmond will report me to my probation officer,” she said dryly with a roll of her eyes.
“Who’s Desmond?” I asked a bit too fiercely.
Her eyes went wide and then she grinned seductively. “You don’t have to be jealous. Desmond is, like, fifty years old. He’s the head janitor or something. He reports to my probation officer, and he runs a tight ship. Tight. I’ve gotta go.”
She waved and practically ran down the stairs.
I adjusted myself, still feeling tight myself.
I walked down the steps at a more leisurely pace. Landyn would kill me if he knew what Lacey and I were going to do.
Well, he would try…
9
SEAN
“Okay, team. That’s how we’re going to defeat Miami,” Coach Hicks said.
He paused a video of edited clips of Miami’s offense and defense. We’d spent the better part of the afternoon reviewing plays and watching tape. It felt a little old-school, but Coach Hicks kind of struck me as the type.
Well, at least an old soul.
Guy was really young for a head coach. Just a few years older than some veterans on our team.
Didn’t mean he wasn’t capable.
And he had earned our respect. Didn’t cave under pressure and never screamed his head off like he was hysterical.
Calm, cool, and collected. Very deliberate—intentional.
He was the type of guy you’d want as a coach, and the more he talked, the deeper my trust in him ran.
“It’ll probably be an easier game than the one we had against the Patriots, but don’t let that leave this room.”
We laughed.
“And I don’t want you thinking that because they’re not number one, we can slack off in any way. History can produce a mountain of evidence—in every sport—of what looked like the match or game was over and then the losing side came back and won it. These games can really go either way—I believe that. We’ve got to fight for every point. No fear.”
Nods and quick comments of affirmation came from my teammates.
“Okay, that’s all guys. Rest up for tomorrow.”
“You wanna get a pizza?” Casper asked Landyn. “Siobhan’s working late tonight.”
“I’ve got therapy right now, so I can’t.”
“I forgot. Good luck with that.” Casper slapped Landyn on the shoulder.
Before Landyn could pass me, I stepped in front of him. His eyes flashed annoyance. “Hey.”
“What?”
“About Lacey. Just want to make sure you respect her.”
“Excuse me?” he
said a bit louder. “Who the hell are you to—”
“All I know is that she’s trying. I see her around here working hard, doing her job. She’s not weak. She’s strong. She’s going to do well.”
Landyn shoved me back. “Get the fuck out of my face.”
I lunged and pushed back. “Put your hands on me again and I’ll break them!”
The room filled with shouts and people from all around us pushed in. Hands tugged at my shoulders, arms pulled me back, people restrained Landyn.
“What the hell are you two doing?” Coach Hicks roared.
The room fell silent.
Never. Never had I heard that sound come from Coach Hicks’s mouth. He was red as a clown’s balloon, and he looked like he could kill both of us, too.
“We’ve got a game tomorrow and the two of you are fighting. Again?”
“He got in my face!” Landyn whined, pointing a finger at me.
I grinned at him.
“Landyn, I don’t care what he did. You pushed him. You started a fight with your own teammate.”
“He picked it,” Landyn gritted. “Talking about my sister.”
“I just said she’s working hard,” I argued. “He should respect that.”
“You don’t get to tell me how or what I should think about my sister!”
“Stop it!” Coach Hicks yelled. He came and stood between the two of us. “We don’t need this before a game.”
“Tell him not to put his fucking hands on me!” I shouted.
“Tell him not to get in my fucking face!” Landyn roared back.
Coach Hicks waited until the room had quieted again before speaking in the softest of tones. “I know you two were rivals in college, but this is the NFL. We’re not frat boys, we are professionally paid employees of an organization. This is a job, and there are rules.”
His gaze bounced between the two of us. “I want to see you individually in my office tomorrow morning. We’re going to hash this out so we can be a unit on the field. Understood?”
Landyn and I mumbled our agreement.
I shook off the people leashing me and marched out of the room. I didn’t grin until I was safely in the elevator heading down to the first floor. I even chuckled. I had known what I did would set Landyn off. I don’t know why, but I got such a rise out of pissing him off. Guess ’cause he walked around like he owned the place, being the number one draft pick.
Or maybe because of what his sister and I wanted to do in the stairwell, and how he didn’t know.
I smothered my laugh and walked out of the elevator, whistling.
Didn’t matter either way. Landyn would eventually know the truth: Lacey was a grown woman who deserved so much good in her life.
And I was going to help her get it.
10
LACEY
“You’ve been acting pissy all evening. What’s the matter?” I asked sharply when I entered the den. Landyn had beaten me home, driving like a maniac, and he was already wolfing down pizza.
He tossed his half-eaten slice onto a paper plate and wiped his hands on a napkin. I casually picked up a slice and took a large bite, chewing it while watching him.
“Have you been talking to Sean?” he asked point-blank.
A sharp jolt of desire hit deep in my lower belly. We did more than just talk.
And I was going to do more with him later. Just had to figure out when that would be.
“Why?” I asked around my food and took another bite.
“’Cause he told me to treat you with respect.”
I snorted and then hacked. Pizza was now in my nose. “So?” I asked after clearing my throat for the tenth time. “I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is, little sister, Sean’s not family. He shouldn’t know our business. You’re at HQ to work. How do you have time to be filling Sean in on our lives?”
I tore another piece of pizza from my slice and mangled it. “Have you forgotten,” I said with a full mouth, “that it was Sean who called you that night I was in the club?”
“Yeah, I haven’t forgotten that it was Sean whose lap you were in.”
I closed my mouth to keep from snickering. Not just that night. “So, you should be grateful. He just asked how I was doing.”
“So, how about you keep your mouth shut?” he ordered harshly. “He doesn’t need to know what’s going on and then announce it to the entire team.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dramatic. I doubt he announced it. Sounds like he was just reminding you not to treat me like I’m fragile.”
“You are!” he roared and stood with both arms spread wide.
I stopped chewing.
“Look at you, Lace! You’re doing community service, you’re in therapy, you nearly lost your pancreas. What are you if not fragile?”
“I’m growing,” I said through chattering teeth. “You heard the therapist today. She said I’m doing much better.”
Landyn harrumphed. “You’ve only been at this for like, what, a week?”
“With you, but I’ve been talking to doctors for the last month and a half.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll let you have that.”
“You don’t get to let me have anything,” I snapped. “That’s why Sean told you to respect me. You don’t!”
Landyn rolled his eyes. “I’m not the one who needs therapy,” he said quietly.
“Really?” I scoffed. “That’s not what our therapist said.”
“Yours,” he said with bite. “And I disagree with her.”
“Of course you do.” I grabbed another slice of pizza. Fighting made me hungry, and I needed fuel if Landyn was going to keep this up. “I’ll talk to whoever I want. Sean’s been nice to me, and I appreciate it. The therapist said I should surround myself with people who are good and treat me well.”
Landyn’s face shadowed, his eyes turning gray. “He’s not treating you any kind of way.”
I stilled.
How the hell did he know? It was all over his face. Was he picturing Sean and me together? I could. No way I was going to let Landyn stand in the way of that.
I’d only had a few partners since losing my virginity on the night of senior prom. There was something not right about it. I dunno what it was, but it just felt…formulaic.
I could tell by the way Sean kissed me that it was going to be amazing. He knew what he was doing. Had to.
“He’s nice, and I’m going to talk to him if I want,” I said firmly.
“Hi, you two,” Rose said from the den entrance.
“What, do you have a key?” I asked. I thought she had her own place? Why doesn’t she go live there?
“Yeah, I gave her a key.” Landyn brushed past me and planted a kiss on Rose’s lips.
“Oh, you can do whatever you want with whoever and I have to sit in my room all day—”
“And go to work,” he interrupted. “And not talk to anyone.”
I rolled my eyes. “Right.”
“I just wanted to update you on what the investigator has discovered.”
“Let’s go talk in my room,” Landyn said.
“Hey!” I shouted.
“Landyn, I really think she should hear this too.”
At least she was on my side for once.
Landyn’s gaze volleyed from Rose to me. His hands dug into his hips. “Fine. Looks like I’m outnumbered.”
Rose took a seat in a large leather armchair, and Landyn sat on the chair’s wide armrest.
“The investigator…”
She paused. I watched her expression go from veiled to downcast. I brought my knees to my chest and tightly wrapped my arms around my legs. It was coming…I could feel it.
“The investigator was able to speak to some former neighbors and people who knew your mother—although not very well. She apparently had very limited freedom and was only seen coming and going from the grocery store—running errands. He thinks he found a half-sister of your mother’s who might have more information.”
>
“We have an aunt?” I said, hopeful. “That’s something, right? If we could talk to her—”
“If being the operative word,” Rose cut in. “She might not want to talk to the investigator, for whatever reason, and she might not know anything. I only say this so you won’t get your hopes up.”
“What did the neighbors say?” Landyn asked.
Rose looked up at him. “Honestly, they think he killed her. They believe no one cared to find out because your father was still on the police force at that time. Their questions went unanswered.”
“Why do they think that? The killing part,” I asked.
“Because one day they saw her enter the house, and they haven’t seen her since. She was fearful of your father. Wouldn’t leave the house without permission. The investigator is still asking questions, so let’s not assume the worst.”
No. Let’s.
“He probably killed her. Fucking lunatic,” Landyn grumbled.
“Why would you say that?” I snapped. “Do you know what it means if he did?”
Landyn’s angry wide eyes fixed on me. “Yeah, I do. It means he thinks he got away with murder. It means we’ve lived our entire lives without a mother. It means, for some reason, he wanted to keep us around, and we both know he couldn't care less about us. It means he’s crazy!”
Maybe that’s why I’m crazy. The thought made my insides quake.
Landyn shot up from the seat and left the room.
Rose stood and started to follow him, but she stopped. “Lacey, the investigation isn’t over. Try not to make any assumptions even if it looks clear to you what happened.” She gave a small smile. “You’re doing really well since…that night. This doesn’t have to impact that at all.” She left the room.
Actually, it did impact it. Quite a bit.
It explains why the doctors think I might be schizophrenic.
And why I don’t want medication.
And why I can’t let Landyn find out.
11
LACEY
I told Landyn not to wait for me as I pretended to tie my shoelaces. He jogged ahead into the HQ.
