by Elle Casey
Before I closed the door, I stuck my head inside the room and yelled. "Hey, Baby Bee! You sure you don't want to come with me?" I glanced up at the spot where he was hiding and could see he was getting agitated. If he answered me, he'd blow his cover, but he really, really wanted to keep trying to be sly by saying he wasn't coming. I pretended like I was talking to myself. "Oh well, I guess he's poopin' on the potty or something and he can't hear me. I guess he'll miss out on the super fun stuff I had planned for him." I shut the door, trying not to laugh.
The sound of a bumbling baby pixie trying to be all stealth as he flew behind and above me was a healing balm for my soul. I was headed to the auditorium where no doubt my errant children were waiting for me, along with the rest of the fae community, but having Baby Bee spy on me made everything seem…not so awful.
I prayed Little Tim and Little Abby were under control and that my visit to the auditorium would involve nothing more complicated than me relating what had happened, and possibly me helping the Council find a solution to this problem of terrible parenting decisions and children time-slipping with murder on their minds. But I knew that the chances of it being that simple were slim. It was probably going to be something more like me listening to how my kids were going to be put in jail or worse. I wasn't sure I could allow that to happen, even though those little fuckers had been trying to kill me out there in the forest.
Motherhood was waaaay more complicated than I ever dreamed it could be.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
THE ROOM WAS packed to the max. Even the pixie colony members were there. It was standing room only in the back and side aisles, but the middle aisle held just a few fae: Spike, Sam, Scrum, Little Tim, and Little Abby. The sound of the doors shutting behind me interrupted Dardennes' speech.
"Jayne," he said, his voice booming all over the walls. He didn't sound happy.
"Hello," I said, lifting a hand in greeting. I made my way in silence through the back of the room, fae moving left and right to avoid touching me, and turned left when I got to the center aisle.
As I got closer to my immediate family, the kids dropped their gazes to the floor. They both smothered giggles, but not very successfully. There was some snorting involved. They were also twitching in a way that made them look like tweakers. Seeing their totally inappropriate behavior, it dawned on me that they might be suffering the aftereffects of a Tim-the-pixie butt dusting.
Poor things. The antidote that our healers had finally come up with was super fast-acting and effective, but it wasn't exactly an immediate cure. Victims of pixelation were known to burst into fits of laughter and dancing for up to three weeks afterward.
Spike took my hand when I reached him. I had so much to say, but not in front of all these other fae. He winked at me, and just like that, he made me feel safe, warming me from head to toe with his love.
I addressed the Council. Tim was standing on the table in front of my empty seat. "Sorry I'm late. I guess I passed out again. What'd I miss?"
Dardennes answered in a very formal, stiff tone. "You missed the official condemnation of the actions of these two elementals."
I leaned in close to Spike, speaking softly in his ear. "Does everyone know these are our kids?"
He nodded. "Yes. But they aren't too happy about what they tried to do to you, so their relationship to us is not getting them a pass."
I walked over to Little Tim and Little Abby, speaking softly. "Did you tell them what you told me?" I had to assume that the awful parts of my nightmare were actually the awful parts of my reality. I hadn't dreamed any of that crap up about Malena and Leck; I had done it—allowed those two evil creatures to take my children from me. Worst. Parent. Ever.
"No," the girl said angrily. Then she giggled. Then she groaned in what sounded like frustration.
I could imagine how much it would suck to want to be pissed at the world but be stuck laughing uncontrollably instead. I patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry. We'll figure this out."
She flinched away. "Don't touch me."
I sighed, pain slicing through my heart, but at the same time understanding where she was coming from. I looked up at the Council. "I'd like to say a few words before you decide what you're going to do with these two."
"I'd be interested in hearing those words," Red said, surprising even Dardennes with his enthusiasm.
I stood in front of both kids, my back to them. Several of the dwarves and green elves noticed what I was doing—putting myself in the most vulnerable position to the two who'd tried to kill me. I did it on purpose, and I hoped they realized this and didn't think I was just being stupid.
"These two elementals are my children. They time-slipped back here to end my life." I paused to let that sink in. It sucked, but it was a necessary part of the story, and I needed to give the fae in the room time to process the fact that I knew it. Hell, I still needed to fully process it, and thirty seconds was not even close to the amount of time it was going to take. But I had to move on or I was going to lose my audience. Voices were already rising.
"From what I understand, at some point in their parenting, I really screwed up. Spike and I both did." I looked back at him and gave him an apologetic look before I turned back to the Council. "Apparently, I handed my kids over to Malena and Leck, who took over their upbringing and…yeah." I gestured to my kids. "This is what happened. They realized what an asshole I am—because let's face it…only an asshole would let Malena and Leck anywhere near their kids—and they came back here to finish me off."
"That's not the whole story," Little Tim said. He coughed and laughed after. Then he glared at me. Apparently, he was more than happy to list more of my parental transgressions for the audience.
I turned to face my children, walking over closer and lowering my voice. My heart was breaking because I knew how much they hated me and yet I also knew how much I needed them to hear what I was saying. But it just wasn't going to work; kids who hated their parents didn't listen to them—that's Teenage Rebel 101 stuff. Even so, I had to try, or they were going to be erased from this realm. I had never seen Dardennes so angry. Even though these two had tried to snuff me out, they were still my kids. And at some point along the way, I'd screwed up and let them fall into the hands of my worst enemies, and that was on me.
"Kids…I don't know how to tell you this in a way that you'll want to listen to it or be able to understand it, but I'm going to try. I know you hate me with the fury of a thousand suns, but I hope you can believe me when I say that I'm telling you this stuff for your own good. I want you to survive this inquisition or whatever it is, so listen up and listen well."
I paused and gestured at the faces around us, including those up at the Council's table. "These fae here think I'm pretty awesome. I honestly don't know why, because I screw up a ton, I swear way too much, and I almost never follow their rules. But they seem very willing to overlook those flaws, along with several others I display on a regular basis. They call me their Mother. And they're counting on me to save them from these nasty mean dudes called the Forsaken, who are coming to our world to end humanity and kill off all the fae. It's a pretty big job and they actually think I can pull it off. The problem for you is that you've shown up right in the middle of all of this nonsense saying you're going to kill me, which is seriously inconvenient for them, since I'm supposed to be their savior. And to top it off, now we find out you've been living with Malena and Leck, two fae who've already tried to kill me on numerous occasions, who hang out in the Underworld with demons, who've already murdered several of our family members, and generally make themselves a major pain in the ass for everyone in this compound."
The two kids exchanged looks. They seemed…scared. Right before they started giggling again. It was a very strange experience to see someone laughing through their fear like that. Spooky, even.
"So, what I'm trying to say is that, you should be careful about waving the Leck and Malena flag and the I-hate-mom-and-dad flag around here, b
ecause you're not going to have a whole lot of friends doing that. And I don't know if you've noticed, but there are a lot of scary-powerful fae in this room. You need friends here."
"Aunt Malena always said that you didn't want us. That you hated us because we were too much of a responsibility," said Little Abby.
My face fell. Spike came up behind me and placed his hand on my back. The desperate need for my kids to understand my love for them nearly knocked me off my feet. I placed my hand on my chest to calm myself down. If I flipped out, they were never going to hear me. "Tim…Abby…I need you to know that I would never in a million billion years say that about my children. Or feel it about them." I looked up at Spike in a panic. "Where is this bullshit coming from?"
His mouth was set in a grim line. He shook his head. "I don't know. Leck and Malena, I'm guessing. They've been trying to destroy your life since the moment they met you."
"Why?" asked Little Tim. "Why do they hate you so much if you're this awesome person everyone calls Mother?"
It was a legit question, and I wished I knew how to answer it. But I was pretty sure 'I have no idea' wasn't going to cut it.
"Because Jayne represents the best of what it means to be fae," said someone in a loud voice that rang out all over the room.
I gasped when I recognized who it belonged to. I spun around and found myself staring at a beautiful, white-winged angel who had entered our midst. He hadn't used the doors like a normal being would have; he slowly floated down from the ceiling. He'd appeared out of nowhere, out of the ether—a visitor direct from the Overworld.
The kids backed up, hiding behind me. Spike moved to the side and gasped. "Whoa, dude, Tony…nice wings, man."
Tony gave Spike a small nod. "Thank you, Spike. You are very kind."
Spike slowly turned his head to look at me, his eyebrows up in his hairline.
I patted him on the arm. "I know. He sounds like he's a hundred years old now."
"More like four hundred," Spike muttered.
I moved closer to Tony and smiled at him, happy tears filling my eyes. "I knew you'd watch over my babies. I knew I could count on you." He wasn't to blame for Malena and Leck having my kids. I had a feeling he was the only reason they were still alive.
He glanced over my shoulder at the two little buttheads behind me. "They have been manipulated and used. Hurt beyond measure."
My heart felt like it cracked in half, right there in the middle of that auditorium. "What did I do? Why do I suck so much at being a real mother?"
He reached out and took my hands. "It wasn't anything you did or failed to do. Your children were stolen from you by fae who have a thirst for power so strong, they were willing to sell their souls to gain it."
"Malena and Leck sold their souls? To who? The Forsaken?"
"Yes. And it's 'to whom' by the way," Tony corrected. And then he smiled.
I laughed really loudly. "Oh my god, it really is you in there under that crusty old-man voice and fancy schmancy white linen suit." I looked him up and down. "Seriously, Tones. You look like you're about to apply for a job on Fantasy Island."
He laughed too, but the sound that came out of his mouth was way more magical than my guffaw was. "I think I look pretty fly, actually."
I threw my arms around him and squeezed him to me tightly. And I plucked out a feather from his back too, because I knew he was going to be leaving soon and I wanted to keep a piece of him with me always. I backed away and held it up between us. "You're always going to be near me. The nearest and the dearest. You know that."
"I do." He looked at the kids more directly. "Come here."
They obeyed without a sound. When they were on either side of me, Spike stepped up behind us, resting one hand on Little Tim's shoulder and one on Little Abby's shoulder, his chest pressing against my back.
"A grave injustice has been done to your family, Jayne and Spike. Your children were stolen from you at the age of ten and raised by Malena, a silver elf, and Leck, a wraith."
I had to bite my lip really hard to keep from bawling like a baby. Kidnapped? By those assholes? For all those years? I couldn't think of a worse torture for a parent.
"They were taken to an alternate universe, impossible for you to find. Malena and Leck were working on a long term plan to bring your downfall, Jayne—because you are the only force standing in the way of the Forsaken returning, and you were impossible to kill outright. You have too many guardian angels and fae watching out for you." He paused to scan the auditorium.
I could literally feel the pride swelling in the chests of the fae in that room. They had kept me safe, and they knew it. All of them. And not just the fae in this room, but the ones out in the forest too…even those haggy, saggy, raggy old bags of bones, Maggie, Judith, and Victoria. Every fae had played his or her part, making me super hard to kill. Awesome.
"Malena and Leck determined that the most effective method to accomplish their goal was to raise your children to despise you, because they knew that these two children were the only fae in the entire world that you would not use your powers against."
He paused to give us time to appreciate that. I had to admit, there was some seriously diabolical genius going on there. They had gambled and won on that score; there was no way I would ever fight back and hurt my kids.
"They hid the children from you until now, the moment when the Forsaken were finally poised to do what they'd been planning to do for centuries. And those children have spent the last five years of their lives thinking you didn't love them and had cast them off to be raised by these two very unkind and soulless individuals."
I looked at the kids, my heart breaking for all of us. "He's right, you know. I wouldn't whoop your asses. Anyone else's, yes. But not yours." I paused and decided to amend my statement. "I might spank you, though. Godfather Tim said I really should consider spanking, so I'm keeping that option open."
"We're too old to spank," Little Tim said.
Spike bapped him upside the back of his head. "Don't sass your mother."
The kid scowled at his dad, but he didn't sass again.
I stroked Spike's chin a couple times before I turned my attention to Tony again. "What do we do now? Where do we go from here?"
Tony lifted his gaze and addressed the Council. "Council members, hear me."
"We await your wishes," Dardennes said in a sweeping tone.
"These children are not to blame for their mission. They have been manipulated with dark magic. And they are your only source of information about the threat that approaches. They and The Others will be your key to defeating the darkness that comes. They were not raised in a vacuum; they heard Malena and Leck over the years discussing their plans. Talk to them. Find out what they know. The Forsaken are near. Work quickly and gather your forces before it is too late." Tony turned as if to leave.
I reached out and grabbed his elbow. "Wait! Where are you going?"
He looked over his shoulder. "There is much for me to do. I must go." He pulled away from me, but stopped a few feet down the aisle. He looked back one more time. "By the way, Chase says hello." His wings opened and flapped once, practically throwing him up to the ceiling. As he reached it, I thought for sure he was going to bang his head on it, but instead he just faded away in a haze and then there was nothing.
"Whoa. That was a badass exit," said Little Tim.
Spike leaned in and spoke softly. "Watch your language."
The kid opened his mouth to say something sassy, but his sister stopped him by nudging him on the arm. "Shush. I think we should just…listen for a little while."
He faced his sister, they exchanged a long look, and then he nodded. They both turned at exactly the same time to face me.
"Mom," Little Abby said.
"Yeah?" I could hardly breathe. I was thinking that this could go either way—totally awesome, or totally awful. I was prepared for anything.
"I'm sorry we tried to kill you." Her face started to twitch. "I think…mayb
e…we might have been wrong about you." She looked up at Spike. "And Dad too. I think we might have been wrong about a lot of things."
She opened her mouth to say more, but I didn't need to hear it. I grabbed her and her brother, hugging them to me as tightly as I could. "I know. I know." I was crying. They were laughing and crying, their recent pixelation making it difficult for them to express their true emotions.
"We still must discuss what is to be done with them," Dardennes reminded us.
I patted the kids on their backs for a little while longer before I separated myself from them and stood up to my full height. "Here's what's going to happen." I walked up to the stage and executed an awesome jumping maneuver—using a tiny bit of Wind to give me a boost—to get up onto the stage. I took my spot at the table and paused to bump fists with Tim before I spoke again.
"I know this is not a dictatorship, so I'm not going to tell you that you have to forgive my kids and let them do whatever the hell they want. But what I will tell you is this: Tony, the most awesomely smart, awesomely kind, awesomely wise fae I know just told us, in not so many words, that these kids are going to help us win this battle, and I believe him. And they're my children. They got a raw deal when they were too little to know any better, and that's not their fault. That's on every single one of us,"—I took a moment to point at all the fae in front of me and next to me—"because it was our job as a community of fae to keep them safe." I paused so they could gulp down the little guilt cocktail I was serving up.
"Now…I'm going to work with the gray elves and these kids of mine to figure out how to find the Achilles heel of the Forsaken, and if you want to join me, that's great. But if you don't, I understand. But here's the thing…consider this my fair warning to you; if you interfere in what I'm doing with my family, you are not going to be fighting just two kids and their mom. You've got my man there to contend with too, and he ain't no slouch in the fighting department."
Spike raised his fist at me in solidarity.
