Each Time We Love

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Each Time We Love Page 21

by Shirlee Busbee


  Adam shook his head, mockery brimming in his eyes. "I doubt it—I'm reputed to be very lucky."

  Both men laughed and, the laughter dying out of his face, Adam looked directly at Savanna. Huskily he said, "Any message you wish to send to me will reach me at Belle Vista, near Natchez."

  Savanna averted her face and said stiffly, "I cannot imagine any reason why I would have to send you a message." Not waiting for a reply, she kicked her horse into motion and disappeared into the brush.

  Bodene exchanged a look with Adam. "She's very proud—and stubborn as the devil." he said ruefully.

  "I had noticed," Adam replied dryly. Fixing an intent gaze on Bodene, he added, "If there should be any difficulties... will you let me know?"

  Bodene nodded and then, tipping his hat and pulling their packhorse after him, he followed in Savanna's direction. For a long time after Bodene had ridden away, Adam stared at the spot where he had last seen Savanna, every instinct within him shouting for him to follow after her and make her agree to marry him, but he knew that he would be chasing a fool's errand. At the moment, her mind was obstinately set against him; he could only hope that time would bring about a change in her attitude. Muttering about the contrariness of women, one redheaded witch in particular, Adam swung his horse around and urged it in the direction that Jason and Blood Drinker had ridden.

  It didn't take Bodene long to catch up with Savanna, and after taking a look at the closed expression on her face, he concluded that she was in no mood to talk—about anything. They rode in silence for several hours, the only exchange of words having to do with the direction they were going in or the terrain and the best way to get around or through the various natural obstacles they came across.

  It was well after noon when Bodene suggested that they stop and give their horses a rest, as well as eat something themselves. Savanna nodded and, dismounting, wondered bleakly why, now that she was finally away from Adam and on her way home, she should be so miserable and unhappy.

  Bodene lit a small fire and boiled some coffee. Having saved some of the cooked cornmeal mush from breakfast, he fashioned it into a pair of patties and set them in a pan to bake near the fire. Handing the finished product to Savanna a short while later, he grinned at her and murmured, "You know, once we get back to Campo de Verde, I don't think I'm ever going to eat anything with corn in it as long as I live."

  Savanna smiled faintly and, nibbling at her patty, admitted wryly, "I don't think I even want to see corn. Not that there haven't been times recently that I haven't been grateful to have it."

  That Savanna had suffered during this wild odyssey was obvious—there was a fine-drawn loveliness about her that hadn't been apparent previously, but even in the worn and grubby youth's clothing, she was undeniably a striking woman. She had set her hat aside for the moment, and the sunlight struck fire in the red-gold braids worn on top of her head and caressed her smooth, tawny skin, intensifying the vividness of her coloring. Bodene studied her for several moments and noticed that the tenseness about her mouth had finally disappeared. He asked quietly, "Do you want to tell me what really happened between you and Adam St. Clair?"

  Savanna's head shot up, a wary expression coming into her clear blue-green eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said after a brief pause. "I've told you everything."

  Bodene shook his dark head. "No, you haven't—and don't try to lie to me. You might be able to fool some people with your denials, but I've known you all of your life and it's obvious that there was something between you two. It would have taken an idiot not to recognize the atmosphere whenever you and Adam got within ten feet of each other. I've been called a lot of names, but 'idiot' hasn't been among them so far."

  "Was it that obvious?" she asked painfully, writhing inside that her reaction to Adam had been so apparent.

  Bodene nodded. "Let's just say that the way you two acted brought a speculative glint into other pairs of eyes besides my own."

  Savanna bent her head. In a voice that he could barely hear, she asked, "Adam?"

  He snorted. "I think that Adam was too busy watching you to be aware of anything else going on around him."

  "He hates me," she said dully, not looking at her cousin.

  "Somehow I rather doubt that. Now, are you going to tell me what happened or not?"

  "Oh, Bodene!" she burst out unhappily. "I can't explain it. One minute I hate him and I'm certain he's the most arrogant, infuriating, overbearing bastard I've ever met, and the next..." She swallowed painfully. "The next, I think I'll die if I can't be with him." A defiant expression on her face, she muttered, "There! Is that what you wanted me to say?"

  "Not exactly—your admission doesn't come as any surprise. But what I'm more interested in is if there are going to be any further repercussions from this little fiasco... and I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." There was a determined cast to his chiseled mouth as Bodene finished speaking. He might have been favorably impressed with Adam St. Clair so far, but he wasn't about to meekly stand by and watch Savanna suffer the same fate as her mother. He'd have no compunction about putting a pistol to Adam's head if that was what it would take to save Savanna from further disgrace.

  "I don't know!" she said sharply. "Ever since Micajah kidnapped me, the normal signs haven't been there, so I have no way of telling."

  For a moment Bodene's face was white. "Are you telling me," he went on in a menacing tone, "that Micajah...?"

  Her eyes huge in her sun-dusted face, Savanna spat out fiercely, "Good God, no! I'd have killed him!"

  His color returning, he asked dryly, "But you didn't kill Adam?"

  Savanna sighed, a confused look on her face. "No," she said in a soft, shaken voice. "I didn't kill Adam...."

  "Do you want me to?" he inquired, the deadly gleam in his gaze making it clear that he was perfectly ready and capable of doing so if that was what she wanted.

  Shaking her head, she replied hotly, "No!" A flush stained her cheeks, and averting her eyes, she muttered, "He didn't do anything that I didn't want him to do."

  Far from satisfied with her answers, Bodene stared at her for a long moment. "So what do we do now?" he finally asked.

  "We go home and take up the threads of our lives."

  "And if you are pregnant? What then?"

  It was obvious that Bodene wasn't going to let the topic rest, and wearily Savanna admitted, "I don't know what, but before you go hurrying off after Adam, I think you should know that he asked me to marry him and I refused."

  In angry, stupefied dismay, Bodene stared at her. "Why in the hell did you do a damn fool thing like that?" he snarled when he could finally speak, having decided that she had truly lost her wits.

  "I don't have to explain myself to you," Savanna snapped, and standing up, she glared at Bodene. "But answer me this: what sort of a life do you think I would have, married to a man who'd only married me to give his child a name? A man who has good, just cause to hate me? Do you think that he could ever forget who I was and what my father had done to his sister? Do you think that my background—or rather, my lack of it—would ever be forgotten? Do you think that his fine, wealthy friends and family would welcome me and my child into their society?" Tears glittering in her eyes, she vowed passionately, "Before I would subject myself and Adam to such a hellish life, I'd raise the child alone—and the rest of you and the world be damned!"

  Bodene grimaced. Every question she'd asked had an ugly answer, and crossing over to her, he touched her shoulder in awkward commiseration. "I'm sorry, brat. I didn't stop to think. You're right. And don't worry—if there is to be a child, you won't be alone. I'll stand by you and see that you have everything you need."

  Furiously blinking back tears, she buried her face in his shoulder and muttered, "Oh, Bodene! What would I do without you?"

  "Damned if I know," he answered teasingly, trying to inject a light note. "But there is one thing I do know—if we want to make any distance today, we had better g
et riding."

  The remainder of their journey to Campo de Verde was accomplished without incident, and the afternoon that they finally arrived at the plantation, Savanna experienced a strong feeling of refuge. For the first time in her life, Campo de Verde was precisely where she wanted to be. Whatever sense of adventure had driven her from it at eighteen had been, by the events of these past months, thoroughly and irrevocably banished. As they rode down the shady driveway that led to the main house, she realized that, whereas before she had scorned her mother's life and the social restraints put upon her by Elizabeth, now she yearned only for a return of those days. A return to a time that didn't contain memories of Adam St. Clair and his devastating possession of her....

  There was one good thing, Savanna admitted painfully, that had come out of her meeting with Adam St. Clair—she no longer held her mother in loving contempt for her steadfast love of Davalos. Before Adam, she had never understood what a cruel trick one's emotions could play on a person; she had always viewed her mother and others like her with a cheerful disdain, certain that she would never fall victim to those same elemental feelings. Her mouth twisted. She wasn't ready to admit that what she felt for Adam St. Clair was love; she only knew that there had never been anyone like him in her life before and that these past few days she had missed him intolerably—and that infuriatingly mocking grin of his. She was shamefully aware that, despite her best intentions and grim exhortations to the contrary, given the chance, she would think twice before flinging a proposal of marriage back into his face.

  It was a bitter, frightening admission for Savanna—made more so by the vivid memories of what her mother had suffered for loving the wrong man. And despite whatever she did feel for Adam, she was also dead positive that only Murdering Micajah would be a worse choice for a woman to waste any emotion on.

  The sight of her mother's face as Elizabeth raced down the broad steps to reach them when they stopped their horses in front of the house brought a lump to Savanna's throat and she was suddenly, deeply aware of a feeling of love and, for the first time, compassion and understanding for what Elizabeth had endured. Flying out of the saddle, oblivious of the tears in her eyes, she flung herself into her mother's outstretched arms and fiercely hugged Elizabeth's small form to her, appreciating and loving her as never before.

  Elizabeth's aquamarine eyes glittered with tears. "Oh, darling! I have been so worried! Just frantic! I feared that I would never see you again. What happened? Why did you disappear that way?"

  Savanna dropped a soft kiss on her mother's head and said huskily, "Shush, sweetheart. I'm fine and I didn't disappear on purpose—Micajah found me and kidnapped me."

  In horror Elizabeth stared at her. "Oh, my God! That awful beast!" Shaking Savanna's shoulders gently, she asked urgently, "Are you certain that you are all right?"

  Savanna smiled. "Certain, Mother. I know it's hard to believe, but Micajah didn't harm me... in any way. He frightened me, but he didn't force himself on me."

  "No," Bodene said dryly as he came up and dropped a kiss on Elizabeth's cheek. "We have a gentleman by the name of Adam St. Clair to thank for that."

  Elizabeth's eyes went round, darting uneasily from one young face to the other. "What do you mean by that?" she demanded. "Who is this Adam St. Clair, and what does he have to do with Micajah and Savanna?"

  Savanna glared at Bodene, who stared levelly back at her. She would have liked to keep the full truth from Elizabeth—at least until she knew whether she was indeed pregnant—but Bodene had forced her hand—damn him! Giving Elizabeth another hug, she said wearily, "It is a very long story, Mother. One I'd prefer to tell after I've had a long, long, long bath and something other than pork and cornmeal to eat."

  Elizabeth glanced from one to the other again, and smiling, albeit a little uneasily, she said warmly, "Of course, darlings! I'm sure you both must be longing for baths and a change of clothing." Ushering them up the steps, she went on, "I'll have Cook put on a nice plump chicken, and you shall dine tonight on chicken and tender dumplings with fresh green peas and carrots from the garden. And for dessert—why, I believe that a pie of blackberries with clotted cream will finish off the meal delightfully."

  Savanna and Bodene looked at each other and moaned with pleasurable anticipation, their mouths watering. The meal was every bit as delicious as it had sounded, and some hours later, her stomach full, her face shiny with cleanliness, her red-gold hair flowing brightly about her shoulders, wearing a gown of soft, pale green muslin, Savanna sank blissfully into the down-filled cushions of the slightly worn sofa in the back parlor. Bodene joined her on the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Elizabeth sat across from them in a high-backed chair covered in chintz, a low oak table in front of her. She was busy pouring fragrant black coffee into the cups that were set out before her.

  It was only after everyone had been served and had begun to sip the beverage that Elizabeth demanded an explanation. Her eyes shadowy with worry, she stared at the two young people across the pleasant room from her and said firmly, "Well, now, I think that I have been exceedingly patient. It is time that you tell me everything."

  And so it was that Savanna began to speak of the ordeal that she had endured and of the advent of Adam St. Clair into her life. Since Bodene had forced her hand, she kept nothing back concerning her relationship with Adam, although she told only the barest details. When she finally finished speaking, there was utter silence in the room.

  In a voice full of outrage and pain, Elizabeth exclaimed, "Oh, my dear! How could you have put yourself in danger in order to spare me a bit of scandal? You are worth far more to me than my good name! Never allow Micajah to force you to do anything to spare me."

  "But the talk... people would stare and gossip, and your friends..." Savanna protested.

  Elizabeth drew herself up in a regal manner. "My real friends would continue to be my friends no matter what that vulgar Micajah would say! And as for any others..." She sniffed disdainfully. "I have endured worse than stares and gossip in my day, and as for those mean-spirited souls who would listen and believe Micajah, why, I don't care a fig for them." She smiled tenderly at her daughter. "Never forget that you are the most important thing to me and that together"—her warm glance included Bodene—"we can survive anything. Haven't we done so in the past?"

  A little misty-eyed, Savanna nodded and said softly, "I wish that we had known more about the gold and what Davalos had intended to do once he found it."

  A worried expression crossed Elizabeth's face. "Darling, promise me that you will give up any notion of finding the gold—it caused your father's death and I couldn't bear it if you allowed it to obsess you the way it did him. Promise me!"

  Savanna made a face. "I already have. It has caused far too much destruction already, and after hearing Jason's story, I have no desire whatsoever to search for it."

  Elizabeth's lips tightened at the mention of Jason Savage, and seeing her reaction, Bodene said lightly, "Liza, I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but you know yourself that Davalos frequently lied to you—certainly he didn't tell you the truth about Jason Savage. Jason treated us very well and he had good reason not to. I know from having met him previously that he is a fine and honorable man, and this latest meeting with him only confirmed my earlier opinion. He may have been Davalos's enemy, but only because Davalos drove him to it."

  It was plain that Elizabeth didn't like Bodene's words, but it was also obvious that she was trying to be fair. Smiling at her, Bodene said coaxingly, "If you remember that Davalos had his own reasons for twisting the truth, I think that when you do finally meet Jason Savage, you will find that he in no way resembles the monster of Davalos's ramblings. I like him and I think you will, too."

  "Certainly better than that bastard Adam St. Clair," Savanna said darkly.

  Savanna never realized how much she revealed by those harsh words, but Elizabeth's face was full of understanding as she stared at her daughter's set features. Hurr
ying across the room, she sank down on the sofa beside her. "Oh, darling!" Elizabeth said unhappily as she grasped Savanna's hands in her own. "It is worse than I feared." Peering into Savanna's face, she asked hopefully, "Are you very certain that you don't want to marry this Adam St. Clair? Have you really given the matter enough thought?"

  Glancing away from the love and fear she glimpsed in her mother's eyes, Savanna said, "I might not be pregnant, and until we know for certain that I am, I think we should put the matter from us." She looked back at Elizabeth, smiling mistily. "And if I am, how much better off I'll be than you were... unless you plan to imitate your brother and throw me penniless out of the house."

  Elizabeth hugged her fiercely. "As if I would, darling! As if I would!"

  Nothing more was said on the matter, although in the days that passed, Savanna was aware that her mother watched her anxiously. Bodene had made a lightning trip to New Orleans to see that all was in order at his gambling hall, The Golden Lady, returning to Campo de Verde almost immediately. He, too, watched Savanna, the same flicker of concern in his eyes that Savanna caught all too often in Elizabeth's gaze. And yet, the question of her pregnancy or lack of it aside, the days were pleasant and tranquil and Savanna was surprised at how easily and comfortably she slipped into the routine of the household. She was exhausted from the long journey and during the first week spent hours and hours either in bed asleep or lounging about the house, talking idly with her mother and Bodene. For the moment, she was content to drift. She ate prodigiously and gradually the gauntness left her features, and as the signs of strain began to fade she threw herself into helping Elizabeth with the running of the plantation and one hot, sunny day blended into another.

  Every day she prayed for a sign that she was not pregnant, but there was nothing. She was aware that her breasts seemed more tender, perhaps even fuller, but she told herself that it was only a precursor to the one sign that she most desperately wanted to appear. Finally, on a morning some three weeks after she had returned to Campo de Verde, her body gave proof of her condition. She woke early and, rising from her bed as usual, felt the room tilt wildly and became violently ill. The nausea passed, but as she stood there staring blindly into space, she recognized the truth, the terrible truth that she had tried so frantically to deny: she was going to bear Adam St. Clair a child....

 

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