I almost gasped out loud. The rat bastard! Was he insulting me? To my face? I gripped the bottom of my chair to keep myself from grabbing his straw and stabbing his throat with it a few hundred times.
Four years ago that comment would have wrecked me.
Maybe even a few weeks ago.
But . . . funny thing. Even though being with Lex was leaving me torn up inside—mainly because of the lying—I knew from the way Lex looked at me I wasn’t a freaking seven.
I was an eleven.
Hah! Seven-eleven.
“Why are you laughing?” Mark asked. “I wasn’t kidding.”
I pitied the woman who ended up with him. Then again, he’d always been very literal, dry, smart—almost too smart—and, if I was completely honest, one of the most narcissistic individuals I’d ever met.
“Look.” I eyed the door just as Charlie made her way in, her eyes zeroing in on our table and then flickering away. Ten? If she was a ten, I’d hate to see what constituted a one.
Love is blind, folks. Love is blind.
And suddenly, I wasn’t insulted, not one bit.
Charlie was adorable, beautiful even. Something clicked into place, because it didn’t matter if I thought she was a one, zero, six, five . . . Who cared? What mattered was that to Mark she was a ten, the best of the best, and he wanted her.
“You like her, right?” I asked as I stood to my feet.
“‘Like’ is such a weak word for what I feel in here.” He slapped his chest, his eyes widening as if trying to show me how big his love was. “I would die for her. She’s just . . . She doesn’t even know.”
“Oh, I bet she knows.” I held out my hand. “Now, do exactly as I say.”
The playbook specifically said that jealousy mixed with confusion was the easiest way to get the opposite sex to notice you, because it forces them to look at you through a different lens. If I found him amazing, even if the thought had never occurred to her to do so, she’d do a double take, confused about what she was seeing. And she’d peel back layers of his personality, curious as to what else she’d been missing out on.
Layers!
Ah-hah! Lex had said something about layers, and Ian had immediately referred to Shrek, but I had tuned them out shortly after that.
“I’m going to lean in, alright? Don’t stiffen up.”
I did just that, leaning over his shoulder while my eyes locked on Charlie. She didn’t look away, but her face fell just enough for me to know that my actions were working.
“Hmm . . .” I wrapped my arms around him, hating that I was basically acting like my ex-boyfriend’s wingman. He returned the hug, then stood to embrace me.
Charlie slowly made her way over to us. “Hey, Mark.”
“Oh hey, Charlie.” Mark turned bright red. “I didn’t see you.”
Her lips pressed together in a firm line. “Who’s your friend?”
“I’m an ex.” I held out my hand. My response was perfect; she’d wonder about our history. “We dated for two years.”
Mark swallowed hard as he glanced between the two of us.
“I’m surprised he never mentioned me.” I laughed. “You know, since there was talk of marriage.”
“M-marriage?” she repeated, crossing her arms over her chest. “Wow, you guys must have been serious.”
Channeling Legally Blonde more than the Wingmen Inc. playbook, I shrugged and let out a long sigh. “Yeah, best two years of my life. I mean . . . maybe this is inappropriate, but I compare every guy’s kisses to Mark’s, every man’s touch.” Another sigh. “Well . . .” I tried to appear dejected. “Are you, um . . . his girlfriend?”
“No.” Mark’s lips turned up into a smile. “She’s not.”
“But”—Charlie’s forced smile wavered a little—“we’re really close.”
“Hmm, what did you say your name was, again?”
“Charlie,” she mumbled.
“Sorry, Charlie.” I smirked. “So, Mark, we should catch up, tomorrow night maybe? There’s this sushi place near campus that’s amazing!” Mark hated sushi, so in a way that was my payback. “Maybe we can ride bikes after?” Mark also hated exercise and anything that messed up his emo hair. “Since you’re allergic to chocolate, we can’t do that kind of dessert, but I have something else in mind.” I bit my lip.
Charlie looked ready to punch me in the face, while Mark rocked back on his heels in silence as if contemplating my idea.
“Here.” I shoved the Wingmen card into his hand. “If you wanna take me up on my offer, just send me a text or e-mail. Cool?”
“Yes,” he blurted. “I mean, I want to. I just have to make sure I’m not doing anything tomorrow night.”
“Great.” I really had to force myself to look happy at the prospect of sacrificing one of my free nights so that Mark could get the girl of his dreams, the girl he’d already told me was way prettier than I was. Thanks for that, Mark. “I’ll see you guys later.”
I excused myself before he could have any second thoughts and smiled brightly down at my phone when it buzzed two minutes later with Mark’s number and the enthusiastic text:
You’re hired.
“Looking at porn? Dirty girl.” Lex fell into step beside me.
I recoiled sideways and stopped short when I found myself heading, nose-first, for a fat tree. “Lex!” I gasped, as my heart struggled to pound free of my chest. “You can’t just . . . lurk!”
“Gabs, I’m over six-three. I can’t help but lurk.”
I was still having a hard time catching my breath when he reached for my hand. “So, how did the meeting with Dickface go?”
“Lex, tell me you weren’t spying through the window.”
“Fine.” He was so beautiful. I loved the way his smile spread to his eyes, and I hated that we had wasted so much time fighting that I was only now noticing the way his face lit up. “I wasn’t spying through the window.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
“I was spying through the back kitchen.”
“Lex!” I released his hand. “Come on! I’m a big girl. Gotta cut those apron strings.”
He stopped walking and braced me by the shoulders. “If I cut the apron strings, can I substitute them with rope? I could do a lot with rope.”
“You aren’t tying me up either.”
His face fell.
“Be serious.” I slugged him in the chest. “And I’m happy to announce that I didn’t kill my second male client, though he did call me a seven.”
Lex crossed his arms. “A seven? So you were reciting numbers in order to turn him on? Weird kid, but okay, whatever works.”
“No.” I looped my hand through his arm as we kept walking. “He said, and I quote, ‘How is a seven supposed to help me get a ten?’”
Lex jerked to a stop and I stumbled forward, nearly tumbling head over heels onto the itchy grass.
“Come again?” he whispered hoarsely.
“Lex,” I groaned. “It’s fine. He’s always been an ass like that. I was offended for maybe a minute.”
“I’m offended for you,” Lex snarled, throwing his hands into the air as if he was ready to charge one of the nearby trees and break it down with sheer body weight and will. “What the hell kind of person says that? Does he even realize how gorgeous you are? What a little prick!” The more he talked, the angrier he appeared, and then he turned on his heel and started marching back toward the coffee shop.
“Lex!” I yelled. “Client! He’s a client!”
“Son of a bitch is gonna need someone to chew his food for him in five minutes.” Lex’s fists clenched at his sides as he took purposeful strides back toward the building.
&nbs
p; “No!” I jumped onto his back. “Lex, be reasonable!”
“This is me being reasonable,” he said in a deathly calm voice. “I’ll ask him if it’s true, he’ll say yes. I’ll give him maybe sixty seconds to defend himself, and then I’m going to kick his ass clear into next year and wave as his head detaches from his body.”
I was still banging on his muscular back when the door to the coffee shop opened and Ian stepped out.
With a sigh, he looked at me, then Lex. “We’re in public, guys, show a little decorum.”
“He, uh”—I slid slowly down Lex’s back—“was being mean.”
I rolled my eyes and covered my face. Really? That’s all I had? He was being mean and pushed me off the swing? Good, Gabs, real good.
“Dipshit in there”—Lex jabbed his finger at the door to the coffeehouse—“called her a freaking seven.”
Ian’s eyebrows drew together as though he was trying to process what Lex had said. “And you’re pissed because the only one who can insult Gabi is you?”
“He’s a total asshole!” Lex yelled as the door opened and a customer scurried by.
Ian burst out laughing. “Yeah, okay. Look in the window, Lex. What do you see?”
“Huh?”
“It’s your reflection . . . and yet another asshole. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re kind of a dick.”
“But—”
“Gabs.” Ian held up his hand for a high-five. “I was in the area when we got an e-mail from Mark—seems he’s super impressed with how things went down, so good job. Now . . .” He slipped on his sunglasses. “You guys want pizza?”
“Sure!” I forced a giant smile because I didn’t know what else to do, but Lex didn’t move. It was like someone had put glue on the bottom of his shoes and told him to stay while it set. “Lex?”
“Ian”—Lex’s nostrils flared—“we’ll meet you there. I need to talk to Gabs real quick.”
Ian looked between us. “You do realize she was just beating you, right? With her bare hands?”
“I can handle Short Stack.” Lex clenched his fists.
“Alright,” Ian said, grabbing his keys. “I’ll grab pizza and meet you guys at the house, cool?”
“Yup,” we said in unison.
As soon as Ian drove off, Lex reached for my hand and jerked me toward his car. Once we were inside, he didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was still pissed by the way his jaw kept clicking. Any minute, I truly expected him to start spitting out teeth.
We drove for two miles in silence.
He stopped down the road from the house at one of the neighborhood parks.
And turned off the car.
“Lex.” I reached for him.
“Don’t,” he hissed. “Just—give me a minute.”
My anxiety tripled because I had no idea why he was still so pissed, but I was a bit terrified that it was my fault.
Chapter
Thirty-Six
Lex
I will not punch my best friend, I will not punch my best friend. I’d been serious as hell, repeating that same mantra over and over again in my head as my fists clenched at my sides while Ian continued insulting not only me, but the entire freaking situation!
If a dude calls your best friend a seven, you sure as hell do something about it, right?
He’d brushed it off.
The way Ian brushes off everything that has to do with Gabi and me. I was sick of it, sick of having to pretend in front of him.
“You”—I found my voice, unbuckled my seat belt, and turned to face Gabi—“are absolutely gorgeous.”
A red blush stained her cheeks. “Lex, it’s fine. I mean—”
I held up my hand. “Let me finish.”
She swallowed, her eyes darting to the center console while she wrung her hands together.
“You have the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen. It’s like staring at the sun . . .” I sighed. “I get lost in your eyes every time they lock onto me, and I’m ashamed to admit that some of the reason I’ve pushed you away lies in the fact that those very trusting eyes saw too much. Damn, they still see too much, but I’m done.” Another sigh slipped out. “Gabs, I’m so done with this, whatever it is.”
Gabi looked horrified, as if I’d just run over her pet. Her eyes got so huge it was hard to concentrate. Damn, she was gorgeous.
Her breaths came fast and harsh as she searched my eyes. With a mumble she said, “Okay then.”
I cursed and ran my hands over my buzzed head. “I like you. A lot. And if Ian can’t handle that, then screw him! I’m . . . just . . .” I shrugged. “I’m making a total ass out of myself right now . . . But I refuse to let another minute go by with you believing you’re a seven, or even a ten, when you’re a twelve, hell, a fifteen. When every time you look at me, it’s like seeing the sunrise over the mountains, its rays lighting up everything around it so even if someone wants to stay in the darkness, they won’t, not for long, not when you’re around.”
I’d stopped looking at her—probably wouldn’t have had the balls to say any of it if I did look—so I stared at my steering wheel. Something wet dropped onto my hand. I glanced up and found she was crying.
“That’s why you call me Sunshine?”
I smirked. “Even when I insult you it’s a compliment, Gabs.”
She punched me in the shoulder.
“I deserved that.”
“You really mean . . . all those things?”
“Yeah.” My voice cracked. “I really do.”
“You know I hate you, right?” She reached for me, grasping the front of my T-shirt and tugging my body as close as possible.
“Oh, I know.” I nodded smugly. “I hate you too.”
“Good.”
“Great.”
Her lips twitched. “Okay.”
“Okay.” My mouth met hers in a searing kiss.
Gabi’s hands pressed against my chest, then spread around my shoulders and hooked behind my neck. “You taste good.”
“Like sunshine?” I joked.
“Yeah.” She laughed against my mouth. “Like sunshine.”
I couldn’t pull her into my lap, even though that was all I wanted, and the idea of hopping into the backseat had merit, except it was Gabi, and she was more than a quick screw in the back of a car.
Our tongues tangled together as our mouths synced with kiss after dizzying kiss.
“Ian’s going to think you killed me,” Gabi breathed, mouth swollen. She broke away and then rested her chin on my shoulder, running her hands up and down my neck.
Shivering, I returned her hug and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of vanilla and wildflowers. “Yeah, probably.”
“Pizza?”
“Can’t I just eat you?”
“Why do you have to ruin every moment?” She laughed against me.
“According to Ian I’m an asshole, so . . . from here on out, let’s just assume the worst, shall we?”
“You’re not . . .” Gabi chuckled, then made a face. “Only sometimes . . . like a few hours out of the day.”
“Good to know you have such a high opinion of me.”
She winked. “Always.” After buckling her seat belt, she spread her arms wide and smiled. “Okay, let’s get home before he calls the cops.”
I snorted and started the car. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Won’t be the last.”
“Nope.”
She reached for my hand. “Lex?”
“Yeah?” The last thing I wanted was to share her with Ian. “What’s up?”
“We’ll tell him together . . . But let�
��s wait until after my family dinner this weekend, alright? He’s going to take it hard, and I don’t know, I just think we should wait. I’ll tell Blake first. That way, when he does find out, she can talk him through it.”
“Whatever you want, Gabs, you know I’d agree to anything.”
“Anything?”
“Gabs,” I warned.
“My car’s been acting up. You should probably go see what’s wrong with it . . . shirtless . . .” She nodded. “Maybe rub a bit of oil on your face . . . No.” She clapped her hands, scaring the shit out of me. “Oil on your abs . . . Oooo, can I put it on?”
“How did we go from telling Ian about us to me suddenly playing auto-shop porno in the front yard?”
“You did say ‘anything.’ It’s your own fault.”
I kissed her hand, then regretfully let it go as we pulled up to the house.
As expected, Ian was standing out on the front step, his eyes worried.
“He’ll make a great mom someday,” Gabi joked as she slowly unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car.
Shit.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Ian knew, but the minute he pulled Gabi in for a hug, he locked eyes with me.
It was a warning.
I’d seen that look on his face before.
And I sure as hell didn’t want to see it again, but this time? I wasn’t backing down; I couldn’t.
I just hoped our friendship could survive what was about to go down.
Not for my sake.
For hers.
Sleep wasn’t happening, not with Gabi right across the hall from me. Hell, it was like living at my parents’ house all over again, only this time Ian was the parent, and I knew he wouldn’t just be disappointed if he found me in bed with her.
No, he’d save the disappointment until after he pushed me out the window and chased me down the street with his car.
The Matchmaker's Replacement [Kindle in Motion] (Wingmen Inc. Book 2) Page 22
